The ADHD Parenting Podcast

Today's episode is a re-release of Episode 43, because the message is just that important.In this episode of The ADHD Parenting Podcast, hosts Ryan Wexelblatt and Mike McLeod explore what it means to “step into your parental authority.” Drawing from research and clinical experience, they discuss how authoritative parenting—balancing warmth with structure—helps children with ADHD develop self-regulation, emotional safety, and independence. The hosts challenge social media’s rebranding of permissive parenting as “gentle” or “compassionate” and explain why consistency, clear expectations, and calm modeling are key. They also tackle the fears many parents have about being “too firm,” offering practical examples of how to set limits with empathy and predictability while nurturing connection and confidence in their children. Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠

They answer parents' questions about kids who want friends but avoid reaching out. They unpack social anxiety, executive functioning, and why screens reinforce avoidance. They tackle sibling conflict across age gaps and give practical boundary ideas. They debunk popular brain-scan and ADHD subtype claims and discuss teens faking illness to dodge responsibilities.

They unpack new longitudinal brain research linking screen time with changes in brain areas for impulse control and flexibility. They debate why in-person, unpredictable social experiences build executive skills more than screens. They challenge the idea that screens are truly regulating or social for neurodivergent kids. They offer concrete approaches for managing school devices and setting firm limits without child buy-in.

In this episode, Mike and Ryan walk through the core questions parents often ask about independence, responsibility, and executive functioning in kids with ADHD—using the framework developed in Mike’s recent book and workbook.Rather than focusing on behavior management or short-term strategies, the conversation centers on how internal skills develop over time and how parents can support that development in realistic, age-appropriate ways.Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠{{chapters}}[00:00:00] Start[00:03:33] Executive Functioning Playbook Framework[00:07:00] Internal Skills Vs Behavior[00:12:55] Self-Awareness, Social Skills, Screens[00:16:57] Motivation, Burnout, Expectations[00:18:40] Mental Movies And Self-Evaluation

In this listener Q&A episode, Ryan and Mike tackle some of the most challenging real-life situations parents of kids with ADHD face at home. From bedtime anxiety that spirals into nightly meltdowns, to medication concerns around mood changes and irritability, to constant attention-seeking and dysregulation at home, this episode focuses on what’s really driving these behaviors—and how well-intentioned parenting can sometimes make them worse.They also discuss how to think about summer camps for kids with ADHD, especially when explosive behavior has led to removals from programs in the past. As always, the emphasis is on practical, research-informed strategies that help kids build independence while protecting parents’ sanity.Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube{{chapters}}[00:00:00] Start[00:02:12] Listener Q&A Overview[00:05:45] Bedtime Anxiety And Sleep Struggles[00:07:24] Parental Accommodation And Anxiety[00:12:15] Medication And Mood Changes[00:14:12] Inconsistent Medication Effects[00:19:13] Child Dysregulation And Attention Seeking[00:22:45] Teaching Self-Regulation At Home[00:27:13] Summer Camp Decisions For ADHD[00:31:18] How To Submit Questions

In this episode of the Mike and Ryan break down four widespread myths about ADHD that continue to circulate on social media, in parent groups, and even in professional settings. Using research-based evidence and clinical experience, they explain what’s accurate, what’s not, and why these misconceptions can be unhelpful for families.Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠{{chapters}}[00:00:00] Start[00:00:48] Mike’s Book Announcement[00:01:42] Ryan’s Certification Program[00:02:53] Myth One: Seven Types Of ADHD[00:06:45] Myth Two: Genetic Testing For Medication[00:10:29] Myth Three: AuDHD As A Diagnosis[00:14:08] Myth Four: Masking At School[00:15:15] Why ADHD Behavior Is Context Dependent[00:24:46] Final Takeaways And Closing Thoughts

Delve into the myths surrounding ADHD treatments and discover what evidence truly supports. Parent training and medication emerge as the top recommendations, while traditional talk therapy misses the mark. Learn how executive functions impact therapy effectiveness and the risks of focusing too much on emotions. Explore the limited effectiveness of play therapy and the unique challenges of ADHD, such as time blindness. This insightful discussion empowers parents to make informed choices for their children.

This is part 2 of "Your Child Is Not Your Co-Parent". Ryan and Mike continue examining why popular “gentle” and heavy emotional-validation parenting approaches often backfire for kids with ADHD. They break down the research, explain the leadership needs of ADHD brains, and outline why overtalking, overprocessing, and overnegotiating increase dysregulation rather than calming it.Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠{{chapters}}[00:00:00] Start[00:00:46] Rise of emotional-validation parenting[00:01:58] Why emotional processing overwhelms ADHD brains[00:02:48] ADHD kids’ need for clear leadership and hierarchy[00:05:20] How “armchair therapy” increases dysregulation[00:07:07] Why too much talking makes tasks feel bigger[00:08:29] Non-hierarchical relationships and rising anxiety[00:10:08] Impact of inconsistent leadership[00:12:26] Comfort-zone parenting and avoidance[00:13:58] The “four D’s” and building flexibility[00:15:48] How avoidance worsens anxiety and rigidity[00:17:13] How guidance—not rescue—builds confidence[00:18:16] Three core takeaways for ADHD parentsCitations:Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1), 56–95.Chronis-Tuscano, A., et al. (2011). Parenting behavior and child conduct problems in children with ADHD. Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, 40(1), 44–57.Evans, S. W., Owens, J. S., & Bunford, N. (2014). Evidence based psychosocial treatments for children and adolescents with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, 43(4), 527–551.Johnston, C., & Mash, E. J. (2001). Families of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Journal of Clinical Child Psychology, 30(4), 479–495.Ma, I., van Duijvenvoorde, A. C. K., & Scheres, A. (2020). Cognitive rigidity in ADHD. Journal of Attention Disorders, 24(5), 707–718.Steinberg, L. (2001). We know some things: Parent adolescent relationships in retrospect and prospect. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 11(1), 1–19.

In this insightful discussion, Ryan and Mike reveal why treating children as co-parents can hinder those with ADHD. They highlight the advantages of authoritative parenting, emphasizing warmth paired with clear expectations. Research shows that structure fosters emotional regulation and better behavior, while consistent high expectations reduce a child's reactivity. The hosts also explore how too many choices can overwhelm ADHD kids and propose that routines can enhance executive function, boosting independence.

This re-release dives into the intricate balance between empathy and enabling behaviors for kids with ADHD. A powerful listener's comment sparks a discussion about how too much protection can lead to learned helplessness. The hosts emphasize that real confidence stems from experiences, not over-helping. They also outline daily stress points and provide actionable steps to replace verbal prompts with clearer expectations. The takeaway? High expectations combined with empathy can foster independence and executive function growth.