Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved One's Recovery from Addiction & Mental Illness

Our hosts discuss examples of "the craft of CRAFT" and the art of changing our messaging with subtlety and compassion to communicate better with our loved ones. It's about finding thoughtful ways to express boundaries and explain your needs and requests without criticizing. And keep in mind that the conversation will continue.Join Allies in Recovery today to access expert guidance, support, and resources that help families create real change. 

Christina Dent discusses her new book, Curious: A Foster Mom's Discovery of an Unexpected Solution to Drugs and Addiction. Christina grew up in a conservative Christian home. Her views of addiction changed dramatically when she and her husband became foster parents. Christina founded the non-profit End It For Good to invite others to listen to the voices directly impacted by our drug laws. Join Allies in Recovery today to access expert guidance, support, and resources that help families create real change. Info on End it for Good: https://enditforgood.com/Christina's book: https://www.amazon.com/Curious-Discovery-Unexpected-Solution-Addiction/dp/B0CMCDV8VP

Laurie asks co-host Kayla questions about the role of a therapist in addressing substance use disorder. Kayla Solomon is a social worker in private practice in Northampton, Mass. Her specialty in addiction began right after college when she was hired as a methadone counselor in Brooklyn. She has worked in Intensive Outpatient Programs, clinics, residential and private practice. She is certified in Imago Relationship therapy, Cognitive Behavioral therapy, and Brainspotting.A membership at Allies in Recovery gives you unlimited access to:  ✔ Step-by-step training in CRAFT through our online platform  ✔ Support groups and a community that understands what you're going through  ✔ A Q&A blog with expert guidance  ✔ And much more! Visit Allies in Recovery to learn about our membership options, read our blog posts, meet our team, and much more! 

Our hosts have a conversation with Bill Carruthers, who describes himself as "a person in long-term recovery." He is also a Certified Psychiatric Rehabilitation Practitioner; a Certified Peer Specialist for Mental Health, Addictive Disease, and Whole Health; and a Forensic Peer Mentor. He has done hundreds of presentations and workshops, and works to bring a voice gained through recovery experience to the transformation of current systems and programs. He is a new partner with Allies in Recovery.

A listener asks about their son's marijuana use: is it a problem? With a substance that also had medicinal uses but can also create issues, more questions arise. Are there benefits? Is the person functioning and communicating well? Are they connecting with people? The answers lie in working on communication, in helping the person understand for themselves whether it's a problem.

Our hosts discuss the situation of a family whose loved one wants to do fentanyl detox at home. What's involved in detoxing? How does it work? And should they let their loved one do it this way?

If you're forced to have limited contact, it can be hard to handle the unknown. It's important to learn how to be in contact in simple ways, and to calm your system down to respond well and strengthen the connection. Use humor; find ways to connect with who they are and what they like -- reminding them of who they are becomes a bridge and connection. If you’re worried, learn how to communicate simply, without accusation or judgement.

In a sort of CRAFT primer, our hosts define and discuss "agency" -- the sense of control you have -- and how it works for your loved one and for you. The goal is to feed positivity so they feel agency and can make better decisions. You foster agency in someone else by calming down and gaining more agency of your own.

It’s important to CRAFT that you become a complex thinker – not just black/white or good/bad, but looking at a bigger picture to see a range of possibilities and hold more than one truth. To, as Kayla says, “heal into wholeness,” it’s important to become more yourself by experiencing all the feelings and thoughts you may have, to hold them and see your perspective and the other person’s. The bigger picture you get, the more you can see possibilities that make you more whole and lead to healing.

You hear it a lot -- "allow for natural consequences." But what does that really mean? Natural consequences are the things you sometimes shield your loved one from -- whether it's a small conversation with someone who's upset with them, or something much larger. If something endangers life or well-being, different rules apply. But allowing the consequences of your loved one's actions to play out for them can be a force for change over time. Start with awareness; don't spend long feeling guilty; and let change begin in small ways at first.