Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved One's Recovery from Addiction & Mental Illness

Ever felt baffled or enraged by communicating with a loved one? Check out this popular episode from 2021, hosted by Kayla Solomon, Laurie MacDougall, and Isabel Cooney. What is "reflective listening?" How does it work? What are the benefits for you, and the person you're listening to? And why does Kayla believe in it so much that she'd use it if someone were pointing a gun at her?The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested)Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". ⁠⁠⁠Learn more here⁠⁠⁠. During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our ⁠⁠⁠youtube channel⁠⁠⁠.

When your Loved One is coming home, it's time to collaborate and negotiate about expectations and plans. It's important to hear what consequences they suggest for certain actions or inaction, and to keep communicating openly over time. This is a ripe moment to have a talk about the various possibilities and what might occur in the near future. This is a perfect timeto use the leverage you have (they want to come home, they are not currently using substances).The CRAFT model that we teach at alliesinrecovery.net is a therapeutic process that teaches us how to be in relationship. Shift your Loved One's trajectory with substances and recovery by shifting your own patterns.The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested)Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". ⁠⁠⁠Learn more here⁠⁠⁠. During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our ⁠⁠⁠youtube channel⁠⁠⁠.

In part 2, Linda offers tools to help calm the parasympathetic nervous system. As Kayla says, it's part of gaining coherence, a prerequisite for connection. Linda Aber is a mother whose psychology journey deepened when she adopted two children from Russian orphanages. She is an Attachment Parent Coach, Certified Nurtured Heart® Approach Trainer, Certified Theraplay® Group Specialist, Certified HeartMath® Anxiety/Anger Reduction Practitioner and Family Life Educator CCFE. In part 1, she joins our hosts to discuss the parasympathetic nervous system, CRAFT, and parenting.Connect with Linda via ⁠Her website⁠ and ⁠her Facebook⁠.The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested)Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". ⁠⁠Learn more here⁠⁠. During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our ⁠⁠youtube channel⁠⁠.

Linda Aber is a mother whose psychology journey deepened when she adopted two children from Russian orphanages. She is an Attachment Parent Coach, Certified Nurtured Heart® Approach Trainer, Certified Theraplay® Group Specialist, Certified HeartMath® Anxiety/Anger Reduction Practitioner and Family Life Educator CCFE. In part 1, she joins our hosts to discuss the parasympathetic nervous system, CRAFT, and parenting.Connect with Linda via Her website and her Facebook.The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested)Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". ⁠Learn more here⁠. During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our ⁠youtube channel⁠.

If you're forced to have limited contact, it can be hard to handle the unknown. It's important to learn how to be in contact in simple ways, and to calm your system down to respond well and strengthen the connection. Use humor; find ways to connect with who they are and what they like—reminding them of who they are becomes a bridge and connection. If you’re worried, learn how to communicate simply, without accusation or judgement.The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested)Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here. During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel.

We intend to be supportive and helpful and keep our Loved Ones safe. But our words aren’t always perceived that way. It’s important to become more aware of how we’re coming across, and to gain the tools to soften the message, hear when they feel upset, and shift things so that we can go back into connection. The result is building the relationship so things can come out more clearly, and the person can more readily receive our words if they choose to.The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested.) • Wednesdays at 6:30pm ET • Email kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn moreAllies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause." Learn more here. During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtubechannel.

Presume you’ll have moments in a relationship that feel like gigantic rifts, or like uncomfortable separation and disconnect. That’s not a problem, but an opportunity to show that you’re changing and working on your part. Take full responsibility for your part, whether they do or not. Keep doing it over and over, so you become a safe person—the person who’s there when they decide they’re ready for more help.The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. • Wednesdays at 6:30pm ET • Email kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested.)Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here. During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel.

Kayla asks the Families Speak podcasters to look back at their entire journey. Where did they begin this journey, where are they now, how would they describe their journey, what has changed, what have they learned? The family members who speak to you via the Families Speak series are people on a journey with Loved Ones who struggle with addiction and mental health. Listen to them as they reflect on the up’s, the down’s, and the learning curve of the Love Warriors path they’ve taken. What qualities have they cultivated throughout the journey, and what do we have to learn from them?** The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. • Wednesdays at 6:30pm ET • Email kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier— please reach out if you're interested)In our FAMILIES Speak series, psychotherapist Kayla Solomon invites members from the support group she facilitates for Allies in Recovery to share their experiences navigating addiction in the family. These parents have faced similar struggles to so many others—but with Allies in Recovery, they’ve found a new way forward.

Worry is universal, yet it’s also damaging to ourselves and our relationships. Suzanne aptly refers to the “chem trails” we put out when we’re in a state of anxiety-fear-worry. Jody remarks that worrying and the energy it gives off “is the biggest repellent… when I’m in that state, I am sending all the wrong signals out… .” She shares that realizing this was “one of the initial catalysts to say, I really need to work on this.” But how do we unlearn these ingrained habits and behaviors? The Families Speak co-hosts do a deep dive into worrying, and share their experience with worry as the parents of Loved Ones with substance use and mental health struggles. Hear how CRAFT helped them put new patterns into place.Read Isabel's 2018 post entitled "Does Worry Prove I Love You." https://alliesinrecovery.net/does-worrying-prove-i-love-you/** Starting in August of 2025, the support group that Kayla facilitates will be offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier— please reach out if you're interested)  **In our FAMILIES Speak series, psychotherapist Kayla Solomon invites members from the support group she facilitates for Allies in Recovery to share their experiences navigating addiction in the family. These parents have faced similar struggles to so many others—but with Allies in Recovery, they’ve found a new way forward.A membership at Allies in Recovery provides: ✔ A structured online platform to learn CRAFT skills step by step ✔ Support groups and a community that truly understands ✔ A Q&A blog with expert advice ✔ And much more! Start today—visit Allies in Recovery to begin creating change in your family.  

Are you a "YES person" or a "NO person?" According to Kayla, each of us has a tendency in one direction or the other. Find out what practice she recommends for "YES people" and why. But why is it so hard for so many of us to say "no" to people we love? Bridget, one of our co-hosts, admits that in her relationship with her Loved One, she used to operate from a place of fear. "I thought if I said 'no', I'd never see him again." Join us for a pertinent exploration of a laden subject. "YES" and "NO" often happen automatically for us, but what would start to shift for the better if we became more mindful of why we're answering that way?The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale.Wednesdays at 6:30pm ETEmail kaylacraftgroup@gmail.com to join or learn more(Cost should not be a barrier— please reach out if you're interested)In our FAMILIES Speak series, psychotherapist Kayla Solomon invites members from the support group she facilitates for Allies in Recovery to share their experiences navigating addiction in the family. These parents have faced similar struggles to so many others—but with Allies in Recovery, they’ve found a new way forward.