Church Disrupted

In this episode of the Church Disrupted Podcast, Jeff Cochran interviews Natalie Runion, the author of 'Raised to Stay' and the upcoming book 'The House that Jesus Built.' They discuss staying in a relationship with Jesus in the face of things like church hurt and spiritual abuse, and the importance of balance in addressing hard church issues. Natalie shares her personal experience of church hurt and how it led her to create a safe space for others to wrestle with their faith. They also touch on the topic of forgiveness and how it can be weaponized, the process of healing from church hurt, and the need for churches to create safe environments and address unhealthy systems. They offer advice for individuals who are hesitant to re-engage with the church and encourage pastors and church leaders to be a safe haven for those who have been hurt. Want to support SAI financially? https://donorbox.org/sai-initial-funding-campaign Find out more about Natali e'swork here: - https://www.instagram.com/raisedtostay/?hl=en - https://natalierunion.com/ - https://tinyurl.com/526vaaj2 - https://www.amazon.com/Raised-Stay-Persevering-Ministry-Million/dp/0830784608 THANK YOU to our podcast partner, the East TN Mentorship Association! Find out more information about what they do or connect with them at https://earnyoursanctuary.com/ . TELL THEM WE SENT YOU for a special rate that is ONLY for Church Disrupted Podcast listeners. Find out more about the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.disrupted.church/. Join the church disrupted COMMUNITY here: https://discord.gg/nbWwg8Sz6Z Please Subscribe and Share! Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Natalie Runion and the Topic of Church Hurt 03:04 Healing from Church Hurt and Spiritual Abuse 07:41 Creating Safe Environments in Churches 13:41 Staying Connected to Jesus in Difficult Seasons 28:28 Navigating Church Relationships with Discernment 40:41 Supporting Church Staff Members in Abusive Situations 43:07 The Importance of Forgiveness and Healing 45:01 The Power of Empathy 49:39 Revival: A Heart Transformation 54:16 Addressing Issues in Church Systems

What happens when a mega church pastor gets honest about spiritual abuse in the church? We're about to find out. In this episode of the Church Disrupted Podcast, Jeff Cochran is joined by a current pastor on a mega church staff. They discuss how spiritual abuse can happen in smaller churches as well as the systems that contribute to it. This pastor shares his personal experience of spiritual abuse in small churches, where narcissism, arrogance, and nepotism were prevalent. They also discuss the importance of accountability in church leadership and the need for external oversight to prevent abuse, as well as how churches can decide upfront how they will honestly and openly investigate any and all spiritual abuse allegations. Want to support SAI financially? https://donorbox.org/sai-initial-funding-campaign THANK YOU to our podcast partner, the East TN Mentorship Association! Find out more information about what they do or connect with them at https://earnyoursanctuary.com/ . TELL THEM WE SENT YOU for a special rate that is ONLY for Church Disrupted Podcast listeners. Find out MORE about our podcast partners here: https://www.disrupted.church/sponsors. Find out more about the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.disrupted.church/. Join the church disrupted COMMUNITY here: https://discord.gg/nbWwg8Sz6Z Please Subscribe and Share! Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Overview 06:09 Loren's Experience of Spiritual Abuse in Small Churches 13:47 The Presence of Narcissism, Arrogance, and Nepotism in Church Systems 28:26 The Need for External Oversight to Prevent Spiritual Abuse 33:12 The Risk of Standing Up Against Spiritual Abuse 37:32 Creating Safe Spaces for Staff 46:15 Prioritizing Family Care as a Pastor 50:08 The Importance of Independent Investigations 57:47 Listening and Caring for Those Who Have Experienced Hurt

In this episode of the Church Disrupted Podcast, Jeff Cochran and Lori Morrison (host of the Unlovely Truth Podcast & Author) discuss the importance of addressing spiritual abuse and safety within the church. They explore the need for holistic care, the role of independent investigations, and the significance of effective communication in handling abuse allegations. The conversation also delves into the impact of spiritual abuse on people and the church's responsibility in addressing and preventing it. The conversation covers a wide range of topics related to church communication, transparency, accountability, spiritual abuse, and the importance of justice. We also discuss red flags and the need for safe and healthy church environments. Want to support SAI financially? https://donorbox.org/sai-initial-funding-campaign Find out more about Lori's work here: - https://theunlovelytruth.com/ THANK YOU to our podcast partner, the East TN Mentorship Association! Find out more information about what they do or connect with them at https://earnyoursanctuary.com/ . TELL THEM WE SENT YOU for a special rate that is ONLY for Church Disrupted Podcast listeners. Find out MORE about our podcast partners here: https://www.disrupted.church/sponsors. Find out more about the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.disrupted.church/. Join the church disrupted COMMUNITY here: https://discord.gg/nbWwg8Sz6Z Please Subscribe and Share! Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction 03:00 The Importance of Holistic Care and Safety in the Church 10:04 The Role of Independent Investigations in Addressing Spiritual Abuse 34:14 Establishing a Church Safe Process and External Support 44:17 The Importance of Truth and Transparency in Church Communication 49:33 Prioritizing Character Over Titles in Church Staff Evaluation 01:21:26 Creating a Safe and Welcoming Church Environment 01:25:47 Addressing Issues of Spiritual and Emotional Abuse in the Church

In this episode of the Church Disrupted podcast, Jeff Cochran interviews Scott McKnight, a theologian and advocate for spiritual abuse victims. They discuss the complexities of spiritual abuse, the power dynamics involved, and the impact on individuals and communities. Scott shares his journey of advocating for spiritual abuse victims and teaching churches to build a Tove culture. They also explore the challenges of recognizing and responding to spiritual abuse within the church. The conversation covers various aspects of spiritual abuse, including realistic expectations, time limits, and the impact of church systems. It also delves into the evolution of pastoral roles, the impact of mega-churches, and the modern-day church playbook for addressing the scandal. Additionally, it explores the trauma experienced by pastors and the need for a trauma-informed approach in the church. Want to support Church Disrupted financially? https://www.disrupted.church/give Find out more about Scot's work here: - https://x.com/scotmcknight - https://scotmcknight.substack.com/ - https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B001IQZDNO THANK YOU to our podcast partner, the East TN Mentorship Association! Find out more information about what they do or connect with them at https://earnyoursanctuary.com/ . TELL THEM WE SENT YOU for a special rate that is ONLY for Church Disrupted Podcast listeners. Find out MORE about our podcast partners here: https://www.disrupted.church/sponsors. Find out more about the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.disrupted.church/. Please Subscribe and Share! Chapters 00:00 Understanding Spiritual Abuse: A Complex Journey 09:30 The Definition and Impact of Spiritual Abuse 24:00 Navigating Power Dynamics and Healing 27:43 Navigating Spiritual Abuse: Realistic Expectations and Time Limits 31:33 Evolution of Pastoral Roles and the Impact of Mega Churches 48:59 The Modern-Day Church Playbook for Addressing Scandal 52:19 Trauma-Informed Approach in the Church

This episode of the Church Disrupted podcast explores the topic of volunteer exploitation in churches. Host Jeff Cochran, joined by Nick Flores, discusses the damaging effects of volunteering gone wrong and how churches can better protect their volunteers. They share personal experiences of volunteer exploitation and highlight the importance of setting boundaries and providing support for volunteers. The conversation emphasizes the need for churches to slow down and prioritize the well-being of their volunteers. They also discuss the power of meaningful conversations and the impact they can have on volunteers' lives. In this conversation, Jeff and Nick also discuss the concept of spiritual bypassing, where faith is used as an excuse to avoid taking action or addressing real issues. They emphasize the need for open dialogue, asking deeper questions, and creating safe spaces within the church community. They also touch on the impact of language and labels, such as the 'dream team,' and how it can create an in-crowd versus out-crowd mentality. Want to support Church Disrupted financially? https://www.disrupted.church/give Find out more about Nic's work with the Collision podcast here: https://www.instagram.com/collisionpodcast/ THANK YOU to our podcast partner, the East TN Mentorship Association! Find out more information about what they do or connect with them at https://earnyoursanctuary.com/ . TELL THEM WE SENT YOU for a special rate that is ONLY for Church Disrupted Podcast listeners. Find out MORE about our podcast partners here: https://www.disrupted.church/sponsors. Find out more about the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.disrupted.church/. Please Subscribe and Share! Chapters 00:00 Introduction: Exploring Volunteer Exploitation in Churches 02:35 The Damaging Effects of Volunteer Exploitation 08:07 Personal Experiences of Volunteer Exploitation 14:38 The Power of Meaningful Conversations with Volunteers 31:38 The Importance of Slowing Down and Being Inclusive in Volunteer Culture 38:26 The Impact of Boundaries and Support on Volunteer Engagement 43:47 The Need for Resources and Conversations on Volunteer Well-being 45:01 Income Disparity and Exploitation 50:46 Addressing Spiritual Bypassing 57:36 Taking Care of Pastors 01:10:33 The Impact of Language and Labels

In this episode of the Church Disrupted Podcast, Jef Cochran is joined by Tim Whitaker of The New Evangelicals to talk about the state of the church, why people are leaving the evangelical church and deconstructing, how political entanglement has played a role, and ways we can stop spiritual abuse in churches. This was a fantastic conversation between Tim and Jeff, and while everyone won't agree with everything said, we can and should all learn something. Want to support Church Disrupted financially?https://www.disrupted.church/giveFind out more about Tim's work with TNE here: https://www.thenewevangelicals.com/ THANK YOU to our podcast partner, the East TN Mentorship Association! Find out more information about what they do or connect with them at https://earnyoursanctuary.com/ . TELL THEM WE SENT YOU for a special rate that is ONLY for Church Disrupted Podcast listeners.Find out MORE about our podcast partners here: https://www.disrupted.church/sponsors.Find out more about the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.disrupted.church/.Please Subscribe and Share!

With the recent launch of the Spiritual Abuse Institute (SAI,) Jeff Cochran takes this episode of the Church Disrupted Podcast to answer listener questions about SAI, discuss how we'll help people heal from spiritual abuse and church hurt, and our plan to build healthier churches. If you have ever experienced spiritual abuse, church hurt, or religious trauma, then this episode (and SAI) is for you. Will you become a disruptor and help us fight to end spiritual abuse and the toxic systems that cause it? Want to support Church Disrupted and SAI financially? https://donorbox.org/sai-initial-funding-campaign THANK YOU to our podcast partner, the East TN Mentorship Association! Find out more information about what they do or connect with them at https://earnyoursanctuary.com/ . TELL THEM WE SENT YOU for a special rate that is ONLY for Church Disrupted Podcast listeners. Find out MORE about our podcast partners here: https://www.disrupted.church/sponsors. Find out more about SAI at https://www.spiritualabuse.institute/. Find out more about the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.disrupted.church/. Please Subscribe and Share!

What happens when you invite a vocal critic onto onto the podcast?! Well, we’re about to find out! In this episode of the Church Disrupted Podcast, we invited a vocal social media critic to join the conversation and discuss how to build healthy churches. And not only is this guest a critic, he's a pastor! Yet, once we invited him to join the podcast, things took a really positive turn. When I checked this pastor and his church out online, what I found was a surprisingly healthy looking church! They are doing a lot of things right, and they seem to be the kind of church we wish there was more of. So, by the time we got to the actual podcast conversation, I honestly wasn’t sure what to expect. But I was pleasantly surprised! In this episode, we are joined by Pastor and leader TJ Mauldin. We discuss everything from our disagreements online and the need to address spiritual abuse in the church, to creating healthy church environments and radical financial transparency. This was an honest, transparent, and extremely helpful conversation. We hope you enjoy it as much as we did! THANK YOU to our podcast partner, the East TN Mentorship Association! Find out more information about what they do or connect with them at https://earnyoursanctuary.com/ . TELL THEM WE SENT YOU for a special rate that is ONLY for Church Disrupted Podcast listeners. Find out MORE about our podcast partners here: https://www.disrupted.church/sponsors. Want to support Church Disrupted financially? https://www.disrupted.church/give Find out more about the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.disrupted.church/. Please Subscribe and Share! TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction 08:46 The Tension Between Critiquing the Church and Loving the Church 36:07 Low Control, High Accountability 47:26 Building People Up and Adding Value 56:36 Controversy and Conversation: Teleprompters and Sermon Scripts 01:14:29 Growing People for the Kingdom 01:26:37 Approaching Nepotism and Hiring Staff 01:37:18 Congregational Leadership 01:49:15 Addressing the Cycle of Abuse 01:58:30 Cultivating Intentional Relational Environments

In this episode of the Church Disrupted podcast, Jeff Cochran and Author Laura McKnight Barringer discuss spiritual abuse and toxic church cultures. She shares the moment that woke her up to the reality of spiritual abuse. They also explore the concept of 'tov' (goodness) in the church, the features of narcissistic pastors, and the characteristics of toxic Christian workplaces. They address the reasons people stay silent in the face of abuse, the response of churches to accusations against pastors, and the danger of internal investigations. All of these issues and more should massively concern us, but could the answer to them be as simple as creating TOV cultures? Join us for this conversation to find out the answer. Connect with Laura here: https://www.laurabarringer.net/ THANK YOU to our podcast partner, the East TN Mentorship Association! Find out more information about what they do or connect with them at https://earnyoursanctuary.com/ . TELL THEM WE SENT YOU for a special rate that is ONLY for Church Disrupted Podcast listeners. Find out MORE about our podcast partners here: https://www.disrupted.church/sponsors. Want to support Church Disrupted financially? https://www.disrupted.church/give Find out more about the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.disrupted.church/. Please Subscribe and Share! TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Introduction 07:10 Recognizing Spiritual Abuse 13:18 Understanding Tov and a Culture of Tov 16:25 Features of Narcissistic Pastors 24:45 Early Warning Signs of a Toxic Culture 28:15 Reasons for Silence and Fear of Speaking Out 34:45 Responses to Accusations Against Pastors 39:37 Internal Investigations and Lack of Independence 40:23 The Need for External Investigation 41:30 The Role of Retainers in Perpetuating Abuse 43:29 The Unawareness of Spiritual Abusers 44:59 The Result of Abuse Regardless of Intent 48:37 The Sanitization of Truth in Church Systems 49:04 Forming a Truth-Telling Culture 53:57 The Attraction of Narcissistic Leaders to the Modern Church 58:56 The Lack of Accountability in Church Systems 01:02:48 Transforming Church Culture through Power 01:03:06 Creating Pockets of Tove 01:09:29 Advice for Senior Leaders in Creating a Tove Culture 01:14:34 Advice for General Church Staff in Creating Pockets of Tove 01:16:24 Advice for Parishioners in Creating a Healthy Church 01:18:10 Advice for Victims of Spiritual Abuse in Healing and Creating Safe Spaces

What does Narcissism look like when it puts on church clothes?! Narcissism and its effects are common in churches today, but the church is often the last place we would expect to find narcissistic people and behaviors. Unfortunately, many modern church systems actually attract narcissistic leaders. But what does narcissism look like when it's in a church? How can we recognize spiritual narcissists and narcissistic systems? And when you recognize it, what should you do? We are joined in this episode of the Church Disrupted Podcast by Chelsey Brooke Cole, best-selling author of the book "If I'd Only Known" and narcissism expert. She and Jeff tackle these questions and more as they take a deep look at narcissism in churches and the devastating effects it can have on people. Connect with Chelsey and learn more about her work here! - https://www.instagram.com/chelseybrookecole/?hl=en - https://www.chelseybrookecole.com/ Get Chelsey's book here: https://rb.gy/4bhk89 Check Out the Recent USA TODAY article Chelsey Contributed to here: https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2024/03/21/spiritual-narcissism-narcissists-at-church-yoga-class/73047346007/ THANK YOU to our podcast partner, the East TN Mentorship Association! Find out more information about what they do or connect with them at https://earnyoursanctuary.com/ . TELL THEM WE SENT YOU for a special rate that is ONLY for Church Disrupted Podcast listeners. Find out MORE about our podcast partners here: https://www.disrupted.church/sponsors. Want to support Church Disrupted financially? https://www.disrupted.church/give Find out more about the Church Disrupted Podcast at https://www.disrupted.church/. Please Subscribe and Share! TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Introduction and Background 01:24 Defining Narcissism and NPD 11:24 Narcissism in Spiritual Environments 16:28 Can Systems be Narcissistic? 25:36 Blame Shifting and Villainizing 28:49 Reframing the Problem 30:01 Narcissistic Systems in Church 32:20 Twisting Scripture 33:13 Exploiting Tithing 34:12 Disagreement in Narcissistic Systems 35:03 Understanding Healthy Relationships 37:11 Making Church Trauma-Informed 38:13 Accountability in Narcissistic Systems 39:12 Moving On Without Accountability 40:08 Making Church Safe for Victims 41:08 Supporting the Abuser vs. the Victim 43:10 Restoring Pastors and Accountability 45:07 Expecting Reality, Not Assuming the Worst 46:17 Narcissists' Manipulation Tactics 48:16 Restoration and Accountability 49:05 Manipulating the Perception of Change 50:15 Expecting Accountability, Not Assuming the Worst 53:17 Toxic People and Healthy Boundaries 59:23 Narcissists' Reaction to Boundaries 01:00:37 Importance of Boundaries and Self-Care 01:01:06 The Importance of Setting Boundaries 01:02:03 The Charismatic Nature of Narcissists 01:03:00 Gaslighting and the Desire for Control 01:04:20 The Manipulation of Loyalty 01:06:46 Protecting Yourself Against Narcissism 01:07:18 Overcoming Guilt and Shame 01:08:30 The Importance of Documentation 01:14:39 Feeling and Processing Pain 01:24:30 Untangling the Narcissist's Voice