Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Emotional intelligence is considered an essential trait for everything from being a desirable romantic partner to having a successful career. But what do we really mean when we say “emotional intelligence,” and how can we become emotionally intelligent over time? In today’s episode Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss what’s “in” emotional intelligence, balancing emotional closeness and distance, and how we can become more self-aware, emotionally regulated, and empathic.You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction1:40: What’s emotional intelligence?4:25: Curiosity, care, and rational vs. emotional decision making9:30: The five domains of emotional intelligence11:30: Courage18:40: Competence, capacity, and application23:40: Anger, and discerning wants and needs25:25: Self-awareness30:20: The stories we are drawn to33:20: Empathy44:40: Self-regulation48:50: Widening the space 51:45: The feelings beneath the feelings53:00: Feeling overwhelmed, boundaries, and differentiation1:01:10: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our thoughts, emotions, and experiences can reshape the very structure of our brains, allowing it to adapt and change over time. This is known as neuroplasticity, and while it’s present throughout our lives the younger we are the more powerful it is. On today’s episode, Dr. Caroline Leaf joins Rick and Forrest to explore how we can harness the power of neuroplasticity to clean up our mental mess…and teach our children to do the same. They detail Dr. Leaf’s five-step Neurocycle process, walk through a practical example, and explain how we can use mind-management tools to reshape our relationship with difficult thoughts and feelings. Dr. Leaf then shares how we can introduce these tools to young people, the importance of nurturing a child's sense of agency, and the power of teaching through modeling. About our Guest: Dr. Caroline Leaf is a clinical and cognitive neuroscientist who has been researching the mind-brain connection, the nature of mental health, and the formation of memory for over 40 years. She’s the host of the top mental health podcast Cleaning Up The Mental Mess, and her newest book How to Help Your Child Clean Up Their Mental Mess.You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction1:00: The five steps of Dr. Leaf’s NeuroCycle6:30: A walkthrough of the process using an example from Rick13:50: Helping kids have a sense of agency in difficult environments20:35: Teaching children through modeling, and building connection with different age groups26:55: What motivates us to take action and reckon with our past33:20: Empowering kids to have thoughts and feelings without ‘being’ them35:20: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Over the last 10 years interest in therapy has boomed, and with the greater demand for therapists more people than ever are considering pursuing a career in mental health. On today’s episode Forrest speaks to five therapists and therapists-in-training to learn the lessons they wish they’d known when they started. You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Intro2:15: Rick Hanson5:05: Key traits of good therapists17:50: Questions a prospective therapist might not think to ask25:00: Self-employement, emotional regulation, and boundaries27:45: Efficacy, complacency, and respecting the craft31:45: Lori Gottlieb35:20: Emotional intimacy and human connection38:50: Modalities 40:50: Vulnerability, uncertainty, and making mistakes48:10: Terry Real52:45: Learning how to heal yourself first55:35: What therapy is actually like59:30: Messiness1:03:15: Elizabeth Ferreira1:06:35: Somatics, and being yourself1:11:50: How to suffer with someone, then let it move through you1:16:45: Awareness and the bravery of owning what’s in the room1:21:15: Chaos, and loving yourself1:27:45: Taylor Banfield1:34:00: Sitting with a client for the first time1:37:45: Choosing a specific career path1:39:10: Boundaries1:43:15: RecapAbout our Guests: Rick Hanson is a psychologist, Senior Fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, New York Times best-selling author, and frequent guest on Being Well.Lori Gottlieb is a practicing therapist in Los Angeles, and is the author of the bestseller Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.Terry Real is a longtime clinician, the founder of the Relational Life Institute, and bestselling author of a number of books including Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.Elizabeth Ferreira is an associate somatic psychotherapist working in the San Francisco Bay Area. If you’d like to work with Elizabeth, you can reach out to her through her website or Instagram. Taylor Banfield is a graduate student in the PsyD program at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, California. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off!Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dan Harris, author of 10% Happier, joins Dr. Rick and Forrest for a wide-ranging, open, and personal conversation. They explore dealing with anxiety and fear, sustaining a mindfulness practice, and accepting our nature while leaning into a new version of ourselves. Along the way they talk about the benefits and drawbacks of purely secular approaches to mindfulness, Dan’s recent time with the Dalai Lama, and why an “anti-sentimentalist” like Dan is writing a book about love.About our Guest: Dan Harris is the author of the best-selling memoir 10% Happier, about a fidgety, skeptical news anchor who finds meditation. He’s also the host of the Ten Percent Happier podcast and the cofounder of the Ten Percent Happier meditation app. For 21 years, he worked at ABC News, where he anchored such shows as Nightline and the weekend editions of Good Morning America.You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics: ​​0:00: Introduction1:05: Dan’s history with panic attacks, and using exposure therapy 6:15: Pros and cons of mindfulness in a secular frame9:15: Moving away from a purely secular frame12:10: Dan’s current meditation practice16:15: Sustaining practice, and the pros and cons of stubbornness20:15: Passion and purpose without attachment27:50: Dan’s takeaways from the Dalai Lama30:45: Caring, sharing, and marking your virtuous moments33:30: An ‘anti-sentimental’ look at love44:50: Recognizing personal change47:55: If you can’t be cheesy, you can’t be free51:40: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier.Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Dr. Rick open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners. They explore how we can thoughtfully take the input of other people, identify and meet our needs, deal with anxiety and the fear of failure, and approach a conversation about drug use with teenagers. You’ll also learn strategies for reducing nighttime sleep anxiety, creating healthy boundaries, dealing with temperamental differences in a relationship, and finding peace and connection as a single person.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction1:35: How do process feedback from other people? What helps you accept what's useful...and leave the rest?11:35: My extended family has gotten very distant. How do families tend to change over time? 23:40: I always feel like I'm about to be punished. What can I do?33:15: How can we help teens navigate curiosity and peer pressure related to drugs, including psychedelics?44:15: LIGHTNING ROUND!45:15: Dealing with anxious thoughts before bedtime.48:00: Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries.51:10: My partner has ADHD. How can I encourage them to work on some problematic behaviors while respecting their nature?56:40: Being at peace with being on our own.1:00:40: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:InsideTracker gives you the personalized information you need to optimize your healthspan. Get 20% off by going to my special link: InsideTracker.com/beingwell.Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier.Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There is a lot of complicated advice out there (including on this podcast) for how to improve our well-being. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick simplify the lessons they’ve learned from over 100 experts and 300 episodes. They explore the importance of individual context, focusing on what we can change even among difficult circumstances, the power of acceptance, influencing our attention, taking care of the body, social connection, and how we can identify, accept, and manage our unique needs. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics:0:00: Introduction, and a disclaimer about generalizations5:50: The belief that things can get better14:20: How acceptance supports agency24:55: Being thoughtful about what we consume, and where we place our attention30:30: Bodily awareness and taking care of the body36:50: Developing and appreciating strong social connections41:50: Identifying our wants and needs44:50: Identifying key values, setting goals, and letting those goals shape our lives54:30: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Go to healthycell.com/beingwell and use promo code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first order. Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier.Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick focus on one of the most common, and most important, questions they get about attachment theory: can we heal our attachment wounds, and become more securely attached? They explore the basics of attachment theory, whether people can change their attachment style, and how much change is truly possible. They then discuss some common frameworks for change, the power of positive experiences, and how we can break out of the “catch-22” of attachment wounds. The episode ends with practical advice for what an anxiously or avoidantly attached person could do to become more securely attached over time. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction1:55: An overview of how attachment develops7:40: Four components involved in changing your attachment style10:50: The difference between our tendencies and our behavior12:40: The four stages of growth, and developing “conscious competency”17:35: Recognizing the ways you’re included, seen, appreciated, liked, and loved25:00: The role of individual effort, and the real driver of motivation29:10: What helps anxious people become more securely attached41:35: And what helps avoidant people49:55: How to ground ourselves when people are unreliable55:25: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:InsideTracker gives you the personalized information you need to optimize your healthspan. Get 20% off by going to my special link: InsideTracker.com/beingwell.Go to healthycell.com/beingwell and use promo code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first order. Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier.Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The average human will live for roughly 4000 weeks. Foregrounding this can be a source of stress, leading us to constantly run from one task to another. Or, it can be a source of meaning and purpose, nudging us to focus on what really matters.In this episode, Forrest is joined by bestselling author Oliver Burkeman for an exploration of what’s really at stake in what we call “time management”. You’ll learn why doing things faster only leaves you with more to do, the hidden payoffs of constant busyness, and how we can live a more fulfilling and enjoyable life by embracing its finite nature. About our Guest: Oliver Burkeman is a bestselling author and journalist. His most recent book is Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, and prior to that wrote The Guardian column titled, “This Column Will Change Your Life.” He writes and publishes a twice monthly email newsletter called “The Imperfectionist.” Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction0:55: Oliver’s movement towards “anti-productivity”2:55: Doing fewer things more purposefully4:55: Looking at your own experience, and the paradoxical notion of perfect efficiency10:15: The wheel of craving, secondary gains, and grappling with our mortality15:30: Procrastination and freedom from an ideal result20:15: The poignancy of limited choice22:50: Existential crisis, insight, and fulfillment30:20: Organizing your daily schedule around your top priority35:55: Frameworks for working within someone else’s schedule39:45: The allure of middling priorities41:40: Identifying our wants and needs, and choices that enlarge and diminish us45:50: Five questions to ask yourself from Oliver’s book50:00: Suffering from trying to find a solution, and life not being a ‘prologue’57:35: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Go to healthycell.com/beingwell and use promo code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first order. Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier.Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've all experienced that frustrating feeling of knowing that we should be doing something, and yet struggling to take action. Join Forrest and Dr. Rick as they explore how we can overcome avoidance and procrastination, unlock our motivation, and cultivate a "pursuit mindset." They discuss intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, why extrinsic motivations aren’t such a bad thing, and how we can use our important values to set better goals and shape our behavior. You’ll learn why procrastination is based on fear, how to orient toward pursuit and see yourself as an agent of change, and the key role “getting good at liking” plays in this process.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction2:05: Intrinsic vs. external motivation10:00: Identifying your intrinsic or “noncontingent” motivations15:00: Self-determination theory (SDT)19:35: Pursuit and prey orientation28:25: The psychological function of procrastination35:35: Learning what you like, and focusing on it42:25: Meaning, purpose, pleasure, and satisfaction46:20: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier.Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rick and Forrest are joined by award-winning journalist Michael Krasny for an episode focused on how to stay curious, navigate times of transition, and relate to the modern media landscape in healthy ways. They use Michael’s recent experience with “retirement” as a jumping off point to explore how we can embrace change and stay curious before diving into a conversation focused on the modern media landscape. Topics include bothsides-ism, navigating challenging conversations, and finding the balance between what “knowing mind” and “don’t know mind.”About our Guest: Michael Krasny is the long-time host of the KQED Forum, and has interviewed some of the most prominent figures of the past 50 years, including Maya Angelou, Caesar Chavez, President Jimmy Carter, Carl Sagan, and President Barack Obama. Since retiring from the Forum, Michael has started his own podcast: Grey Matter with Michael Krasny. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction1:45: What’s helped Michael navigate the transition to a new phase of life3:45: Michael’s shift in identity post-KQED Forum5:45: Curiosity and ‘usefulness’8:10: Preparing for interviews11:10: How Michael became an interviewer14:10: Shakespeare characters, the anxiety of influence, and corporal punishment23:10: How the function of media has changed over time26:05: Bothsidesism and offering balanced viewpoints30:40: ‘Always don’t know’, and not being captured by our strengths33:45: Overpreparation, anxiety, and the role of an interviewer38:20: The value of spacious conversation vs. discourse through sound bytes40:30: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.Sponsors:Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Go to BrioAirPurifier.com and use code BEINGWELL to save $100 on a Brio Air Purifier.Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices