You Are Heroic with Brian Johnson

Men's Health says that Dean Karnazes is one of the 100 Fittest Men of ALL Time. He's done crazy things—like running 350 miles at once. Plus running a marathon to the South Pole in negative 40 degrees. Then there was the time he ran 50 marathons in all 50 US states in 50 days—finishing with the NYC Marathon which he banged out in 3 hours flat. (Nice!) In our interview about his great book The Road to Sparta, I asked him what ONE piece of wisdom he would share with someone looking to Optimize their lives so they could make a positive difference in the world. His response? He quoted the ancient Chinese proverb: "Be not afraid of going slowly. Be afraid only of stopping." Going slowly? Not a problem. Stopping? Eek. That's when we get in trouble. Whether it's writing a book or running a marathon or doing whatever challenging thing worthy of our attention, KEEP GOING!!! Steve Chandler has a great line for this. He says we need to "Stop stopping." All of which leads us to today's +1 Questions: What epic quest are you on right now? What's your next baby step? Keep moving!! No matter how slowly. And… What's the habit you just KNOW would most benefit you? That keystone habit that, when in place, will most help you Optimize? The one that, when you do it, you feel GREAT!! Yes. THAT ONE. KEEP DOING IT!!! It's OK to suck. But it's not OK to skip. (https://www.optimize.me/plus-one/how-to-avoid-habit-suicide/) Remember: STOP STOPPING! +1. +1. +1.

Patrick McKeown is one of the world's leading teachers of the Buteyko Breathing Method which was created in the 1950s by a Russian doctor named Dr. Konstantin Buteyko. McKeown suffered from asthma for decades until he found the Buteyko Method. At which point, he reversed his asthma symptoms and then dedicated his life to helping others optimize their breathing. In this book, he extends the Buteyko Method into an approach he calls the Oxygen Advantage. Big Ideas we cover include the #1 obstacle to optimal breathing, Oxygen Delivery 101, the #1 breathing tip, and how to dial in your sleep.

In our last +1 we chatted about the difference between FALLING in love and STANDING in love. It's easy to fall in love. It's considerably more challenging to stand in love—whether we're talking about an intimate relationship with a significant other, a child or a dear friend. So, know this: We're inevitably going to run into conflict and challenges in our intimate relationships. THAT'S A GIVEN Today's +1 is a key practice for STANDING in love. Leading mindfulness and neuroscience and relationship expert Dan Siegel tells us that when something inevitably goes wrong in a relationship we want to REPAIR it as quickly as we can. One of the examples he uses to make his point is a story about a time when he, Mr. Mindfulness, "flipped his lid," turning off his prefrontal cortex and going full limbic-lame yelling at one of his kids. (Laughing as I type that as a) It's always refreshing to see a world-class teacher and practitioner humbly reminding us that no one is perfect and b) I very much know the feeling as the father of a very energetic 4-year-old. 😃) So, we have an interaction that we're not proud of. Then what? Then, you REPAIR the relationship as quickly as you can. Something like, "Wow. I got really impatient / loud / fill-in-the-blank. I flipped my lid! I'm so sorry about that and I can see what Needs work (https://www.optimize.me/plus-one/needs-work/). I just want you to know I'm sorry and that I love you and that I'm committed to getting a little better at handling those challenging moments in the future." * insert potential hug * We don't want those little micro-moments of negativity to stew into jumbo-resentments and unhealthy cauldrons of ick. Take a deep breath. Drop into your heart. Label the emotion Name It to Tame It! (https://www.optimize.me/plus-one/name-it-to-tame-it/). Practice some Active Love (https://www.optimize.me/plus-one/active-love/). Use whatever tool you need to do to regain your Equanimity (https://www.optimize.me/plus-one/the-equanimity-game/). And then Repair. Today's +1 Optimizing opportunity: Any Repairs waiting for you?

In our last +1, we talked about the importance of identifying and installing your #1 self-care habit. Today I want to talk about another SUPER important thing: Identifying your significant other's (or kids' or friends' or colleagues') #1 self-care habit. Fact is, great relationships are only created by two healthy people. 1 + 1. If you want to Optimize the love in your life, you'd be wise to a) start by Optimizing yourself and b) support your partner (assuming they want the support!) Optimize THEIR lives. And our #1 self-care habit is a REALLY (like, Jumbo-REALLY!!!!) good place to start. For example, my #1 is sleep. Alexandra knows this. And, she knows that she doesn't really want to be around me when I'm not meeting this fundamental need. So, we prioritize this to make sure I'm getting good sleep. (Thank you, Darling!!) Alexandra's #1 self-care habit is time alone every day to meditate/reflect/create/etc. Knowing this, we prioritize it to make sure she gets that time. So… What's YOUR #1. And… What's your PARTNER'S #1? Find out. Help them rock it. And watch your relationship flourish. +1 that 1 + 1.

Dr. Craig Malkin is an author, clinical psychologist, and Instructor of Psychology for Harvard Medical School. He's also one of the world's leading authorities on the science of narcissism. In this book, he shares "The bad—and surprising good—about feeling special." The short story? Narcissism is a lot more nuanced than we might have been led to believe. Big Ideas we explore: the Myth of Narcissus, the Spectrum of Narcissism, healthy narcissism (no, that isn't an oxymoron), how to bring it forth in our lives, and the passionate life (passion + compassion = magic!).

In our last +1, we talked about Scott Adams's wisdom on Wishing vs. Deciding (https://www.optimize.me/plus-one/deciding-vs-wishing/). The key difference? When we DECIDE, we get clear on what we want AND we get clear on the price we'll need to pay. Then… We get busy paying it. Scott tells us that one of the ways to reduce the price and make it more palatable is to create systems. He's ALL about systems. In fact, he tells us that "Goals are for losers." (Hah.) We obviously need goals but he says we should, at the very least, word-glue them together so we have goals-systems or systems-goals. His point is that if all we're doing is chasing a goal, we're constantly going to be "losing" because the goal is always at some far-off spot we may never reach. On the other hand, when we figure out the SYSTEMS we're constantly WINNING every single time we successfully execute the system. For example, if you're trying to lose 20 pounds, you have a goal. Eating right is a system. Trying to run a 4-hour marathon is a goal. Exercising every day is a system. As Scott says: "A system is something you do on a regular basis that increases your odds of happiness in the long run. If you do something every day, it's a system. If you're waiting to achieve it someday in the future, it's a goal." Leadership guru John Maxwell has a GREAT way to describe systems as well. He says that systems are good strategies repeated. So… What are YOUR goals? And, more importantly, what are your SYSTEMS that will get you there? Here's to Optimizing your systems-driven, perpetual-small-wins-creating machine!!

Harvey Dorfman was one of the world's leading mental training experts. Major League Baseball described him as a "pioneering sports psychologist." He earned World Series rings as the mental skills coach for both the Oakland A's and Florida Marlins. In this book, he covers the A to Z of mental discipline. Big Ideas we explore include Carpe momentum (seize the task at hand!), the peak performance cycle (approach + results + response), the blind men (and their elephant), and Percussus Resurgo ("Struck down. I rise again!").

In our last +1 we talked about the magic of creating a hoped-for future vision that has super-strong "Pull Power." Today we're going to talk about Pull Power's best friend, Pulling Power. Step 1. Create a vision for your future that truly fires you up. Got it? Great. Pull Power in place. Step 2. Now, imagine that future sitting there in a bag on the ground about 25 feet in front of you. That bag weighs a lot. It's tied to a rope that's right down by your feet. Step 3. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to sit down on the ground of your current reality, dig your heels in and PULL that bag of future awesome all the way to where you are. That's Pulling Power. It's what you do with the Pull Power. Steve Chandler captures this brilliantly in Wealth Warrior where he tells us: "The only good use of any future is artistic. You paint a picture of your positive imaginary future on your whiteboard. Then you PULL THAT PICTURE—WITH EVERY OUNCE OF STRENGTH YOU HAVE—into the present moment." Today's +1. Can you see that future in front of you? Ready to pull it into your reality? Sit down. Rub your hands together. And PULL with everything you've got. +1.

Irresistible. That's the perfect word to describe the growing array of addictive technologies that are capturing so much of our attention these days. And, it's the perfect name for the book. Adam Alter is an associate professor of marketing at NYU's Stern School of Business. This is a great book on, as the sub-title suggests, "The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked." Big Ideas we explore include the fact Steve Jobs didn't let his own kids use an iPad (why?), why addiction is about more than just personality (and what matters), how to add 11 years back to your life, what happens when your brain gets pickled and the simple question you can ask to Optimize.

Get this: Scientists can bring people into a lab and have them hold a pen in their mouths in one of two different ways to elicit two very different outcomes. One group comes in and holds a pen between their lips. The other group holds the pen between their teeth. (Try it to feel the difference!) Guess what? The group that holds the pen between their teeth (which, you may notice, creates a sort of smile) are HAPPIER at the end of the experiment than people who hold the pen between their lips (which, you may notice, creates a sort-of frown). Kinda nuts. How could something THAT simple lead to a significant change in well-being? Well, as we've discussed many times, FEELINGS follow BEHAVIORS. And, even something as mundane as unknowingly moving your happiness muscles into the shape of a smile can make you feel better. Moral of the story: Work today with a pen between your teeth! Hah. Not really. But, DO remember that feelings follow behavior. The little things you do matter. Stand up tall. Act the way you'd act if you were feeling great even if you're not feeling great. And, shockingly, you'll find that your feelings follow that behavior more than you may initially believe. And… Smile more today. It's kinda weird to feel how quickly your whole mood can soften and elevate when you shift from a serious (or negative) facial expression to a simple, soft smile. (Try it right now!) +1 Smile. +1 Smile. +1 Smile. (I'm smiling as I type that.)