Conversations from the Heart

Dive into the labyrinth of 'shoulds' that dictate our lives. Discover the emotional hurdles of dental trauma and the vital role of empathy in care. Explore how parents balance personal needs with their child's achievements, all while navigating the complexities of autism. The conversation touches on radical acceptance and the importance of managing mixed emotions, like those tied to taxes. Embrace joy despite societal pressures, and learn how to foster personal growth through community connections.

When we want to stay in relationship with people who have hurt us, it's important for us to figure out a way to connect with them in a way that keeps us open hearted and also protected.But how, exactly, can we show up open heartedly in ways that also protect us and keep us safe?  That's where open hearted and loving boundaries come in.  In this episode we explore:1:00  How can I make the implicit explicit?12:00  It takes discipline to focus on what's working16:13  I feel exhausted and hurt by my sister's behavior.  How can I make it better?22:09  What does a healthy relationship look like?30:27  What open hearted boundaries can sound like36:24  We get to choose who we let into our livesFor ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.Here are more ways to connect with me:Join the School of Human ConnectionHop on my free Wednesday live callFollow me on YouTube

Explore the journey of transforming cultural norms for healthier relationships. Discover a unique flowchart tool that aids in nurturing authentic connections. Reflect on children's sportsmanship and learn to tackle emotional reactions in games. Delve into managing communication and boundaries amid complexities. Uncover the impact of shame and the importance of self-compassion. Lastly, embrace personal growth through open dialogues and community support. It's all about fostering deeper, more meaningful connections!

Love cannot be ordered up. Care cannot be demanded. If we want certain people to love us, or care about us, is there anything we can do to make that more likely?  This episode explores various relational moves across three scenarios that might help to inspire more care for ourselves from other people.  We discuss:1:36  The stove is broken.  How can I inspire my partner to care about this?5:25  The two levels in every conversation: Tactical and Relational9:43  How to amplify another's good intentions16:59  How to have an honest discussion with a friend group?21:05  Checking for shared purpose:  Do you still want a connection with me?23:36  How to show up differently in a conflict31:23  Strategies for getting my HOA to care about our well waterFor ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.Here are more ways to connect with me:Join the School of Human ConnectionHop on my free Wednesday live callFollow me on YouTube

We may be interested in living an authentic, honest life.Unfortunately, that doesn't necessarily mean those we're closest to are interested in doing the same thing.The easiest way to encourage those around us to show up authentically is by ensuring we make that experience as easy and enjoyable as possible for them.In this episode, we discuss:2:31  My daughter rescinded her dinner invitation and my feelings were hurt, and I pretended it was fine when I was actually really hurt.13:34  How powerful requests can revolutionize relationships17:10  Behavior is coded communication23:46  My grandson won't greet me28:30  A script for gathering the data needed to move forward38:17  Getting Grounded in Our Goodness40:30  How to interrupt interpersonal violence46:12  A special offer just for you!Two upcoming programs are discussed in this episode.  Click on the links below for more info:Fall Deep Dive:  A Look at Grandiosity and ShameMarch 2025 Retreat in Santa FeFor ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.Here are more ways to connect with me:Join the School of Human ConnectionHop on my free Wednesday live callFollow me on YouTube

Navigating relationships with difficult family members can sometimes be a Herculean task.This episode highlights four main strategies for walking the path of authentic communication with family members who can be hard to connect with:1.  Practicing the art of translating judgments into feelings and needs.2.  Maintaining deep connection with ourselves. 3.  Locating the conversation in the present and not the past.4.  Melting defensiveness by creating enough internal capacity to be present to someone else's pain.  We discuss:5:07  My family can be so judgmental.  How can I communicate better with them?6:26  How to practice translating judgments into feelings and needs.16:10  The inside practice essential for staying grounded when someone else is activated.19:17  "When we are helping someone else wake up to the dynamics of a situation, we want it to be as gentle as possible so they enjoy it and do more of it."25:08  How can I establish trust with my brother who avoids me?32:58  Want to change the same old complaint-filled conversation?  Try locating the conversation in the present, not the past.36:23  How can we begin melting defensiveness?37:11  A script for moving forward when you need an answer and the other person is silent.40:15  How to get more of what you want.Something that can make it difficult for families to connect authentically with one another are the relational habits we fall into.  This fall I'll be offering a practice group that dives deep into narcissism and shame and I'd love to see you there!  Interested in learning more?  Check out all the details.For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.Here are more ways to connect with me:Join the School of Human ConnectionHop on my free Wednesday live callFollow me on YouTube

Transforming relationships begins with introspection and intentional changes in behavior. The discussion centers on establishing shared realities and the importance of asking tough questions. Learn the pitfalls of demands and the true essence of caring for one another's needs. The speakers share insights on fostering emotional intimacy while tackling avoidant attachment styles. They emphasize mutuality, compassion, and the importance of acknowledging feelings of invalidation. Practical tips for handling emotional conflicts with empathy provide a roadmap to deeper connections.

This week's episode explores themes of belonging, and the human need we all share for community.We explore:1:59  I don't feel like I belong anywhere5:50  Rising into grandiosity or sinking into shame7:19  Belonging to Yourself12:05  The role of reverence14:03  How do I handle passive aggressive comments?25:20  We're either repeating or transforming a dynamic26:43  Make the implicit explicit34:28  My friend takes a long time to text me back and it hurts my feelingsFor ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.Here are more ways to connect with me:Join the School of Human ConnectionHop on my free Wednesday live callFollow me on YouTube

This week's episode is an investigation into working things through in relationship:  with our extended family, our mothers, our daughters, and ourselves.We explore:1:18  The dynamics I see in my nieces and nephews repeat the dynamics between my siblings and I get triggered.  How can I help myself and them?4:12  How to ground observations in micro moments13:11  I wanted care and I didn't receive it.  How can I talk about this with no accusations?31:05  A script for sharing what you're needing now34:00  How do I tell my daughter I long for more acceptance from her?49:00  How can I support myself as I continue to grow into who I am?For ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.Here are more ways to connect with me:Join the School of Human ConnectionHop on my free Wednesday live callFollow me on YouTube

This week's caller is looking for scripts that can help her call out some discriminatory dynamics at work. She asks:  "I am facing new challenges in my work environment. More specifically, I am noticing weird racial dynamics ( for example, staff of colour all scheduled for night shift, and day shift exclusively (no exceptions) staffed by white staff. I have also heard rumours of ‘racially hostile behaviour’ from colleagues and supervisors. For context, I am black/African. I also just notice gossipy, 2-faced behaviour. And all of this makes me feel unsafe. I want to do something about it but I feel so much fear. Any ideas?"   Listen along as we discuss:6:57  The upside of anger and how to work with it skillfully 7:47  The importance of knowing what you WANT to say 11:10  "Why is this happening?"13:04  "I'm scared I'll get fired"21:09  Addressing issues from the power-under positionFor ongoing practice and deeper learning, I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection. Twice a month, I host live calls where members bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.Here are more ways to connect with me:Join the School of Human ConnectionHop on my free Wednesday live callFollow me on YouTube