The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Dive into the complexities of disorganized attachment, where children may run to caregivers who are both a source of comfort and fear. This chaotic dynamic reveals how vital connection and co-regulation are in healing. The conversation also extends to adults, reinterpreting disorganized attachment as unresolved issues from childhood. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own emotional needs while emphasizing the importance of nurturing support for children facing such challenges.

Dive into the world of insecure avoidant attachment and discover how infants creatively meet their emotional needs. This discussion reveals the complexities behind connection and autonomy, shedding light on their impact on emotional regulation. Learn about the significant role of co-regulation and nonverbal communication in healthy development. The insights offer valuable resources for parents navigating the challenges of trauma and attachment, inspiring hope amidst the complexities.

Explore the fascinating dynamics of insecure anxious attachment and its wide-reaching implications for children and caregivers. Discover how these attachment styles serve as neurobiological adaptations, revealing their potential for growth despite the challenges they present. Delve into the behavior patterns that contribute to this attachment style, and learn about the critical balance of connection and autonomy. The insights in this discussion aim to provide hope and understanding for navigating relationships influenced by anxious attachment.

Delve into the fascinating world of secure attachment in parenting. Discover how a caregiver's attachment style affects a child's development. Explore five key traits that define securely attached adults and how these shape children's behaviors. This insightful discussion underscores the importance of creating a supportive environment for children, especially those who have faced trauma. Resources and an exclusive eBook are also available for listeners seeking deeper knowledge on attachment dynamics.

Dive into the essentials of attachment theory, starting with John Bowlby's groundbreaking observations on emotional survival. Discover the distinction between safe havens and secure bases, and how they influence children's independence. The podcast also highlights Mary Ainsworth's contributions, introducing attachment classifications like secure and insecure. Explore the vital behaviors infants exhibit to maintain connection and safety. This engaging discussion lays the groundwork for understanding how different attachment styles impact trauma and child development.

Bethany Saltman is the author of part memoir part biography Strange Situation- A Mother’s Journey into the Science of Attachment.  Bethany is a professional researcher, writer, and longtime Zen student who went searching for what she felt was missing when she was a new mom. Like myself, Bethany discovered Dr. Sears’ The Baby Book on attachment parenting when she was pregnant with her now 15-year-old daughter (my son is 15 and almost the exact same age!) and had expectations about what motherhood and parenting was going to look like: a blissful time where she enjoyed the natural awakenings of maternal instinct.Which did not happen.  Bethany remembers that she wasn’t patient with her daughter.  She didn’t feel very loving toward her.  And ultimately she felt broken because Dr. Sears had promised in his book that attachment parenting was easy because it ‘feeds on a mother’s natural intuition.’  Bethany stated she was doing her best but also doing a lot of things wrong as a mom- and couldn’t figure out why.   So she went on a deep-dive journey into exploring the science of attachment, in particular Mary Ainsworth and The Strange Situation.  Bethany’s exploration into the science of attachment led her to the conclusion that behaviors have actually very little to do with attachment. There isn’t a checklist.  Raising a child with secure attachment isn’t about breastfeeding or co-sleeping. It has to do with how you think and feel about your attachments and how this is transmitted from mind to mind, generation to generation.  I can't wait to hear what you think about this interview with Bethany!!!You can find Bethany on instagram @Bethany_Saltman or on her website at www.BethanySaltman.com.  Grab her book Strange Situation wherever books are sold but try to get it from your local bookstore ;) We've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

I'll bet you are familiar with this baffling phenomenon.Everything seems great.  Fun!  Even laughter and real good times.And all of the sudden- completely dysregulation and melt-down.Sometimes even just the anticipation of something fun can lead to dysregulation. I know that understanding the why doesn't exactly solve this problem, but I definitely find that understanding the why can open up compassion and keep us more regulated.  Which then means we can respond instead of react.In today's episode we are looking at the science behind why this happens.It's science- not sabotage!  Promise!We've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

What if I told you that calm isn't best?  Calm isn't what we are working toward!  And prioritizing calm gives other states of the nervous system a bad wrap!  Calm is just a byproduct of an attempt to regulate!  In fact, there are risks to focusing on calm as our primary goal.  On today's episode, I'm thrilled to introduce you to Lisa Dion, LPC, RPT-S, is an international teacher, creator of Synergetic Play Therapy, founder and President of the Synergetic Play Therapy Institute, and host of the Lessons from the Playroom podcast.  She is the author of Aggression in Play Therapy:  A Neurobiological Approach for Integrating Intensity and is the 2015 recipient of the Association for Play Therapy’s Professional Education and Training Award of Excellence.Lisa and I have a lovely time discussing the difference between regulated and calm, including the risks of pretending to be calm when we aren't.  As parents and clinicians who care for kids with a history of trauma, it's important to negotiate ways within ourselves that we can be honest and congruent with our true experiences (maybe we are mad!) while still remaining regulated and offering felt-safety.  Wait what?! Regulated and mad?!?!Yup.  Regulated and mad.  Have a listen to see what Lisa has to say about this!You can find more of Lisa's work over at Synergetic Play Therapy Institue, including her book for clinicians, Aggression in Play Therapy.We've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Dive into the intricate world of behavior change, especially in children impacted by trauma. Explore how relational neurosciences reveal the deeper connections between our brains, bodies, and relationships. Discover the importance of emotional safety, regulation, and supportive environments in fostering positive behavior. Plus, find valuable resources and community support to navigate parenting challenges effectively. This discussion is a treasure trove for anyone looking to understand and address complex behavioral issues with compassion.

You’ve asked yourself “Is this a behavior that’s coming from my child’s trauma?  Or is this regular acting out kid behavior???”Sometimes it’s pretty obvious but if you’re asking yourself that question, you’re probably in a situation where it isn’t obvious.What if I told you it doesn’t matter?Hear me out.Why do you want to figure that out?  Usually because it feels like you’ll handle the situation different based on the answer.But actually, it doesn’t matter. And it’s impossible to determine anyway.What you really want to think about is- how dysregulated is my child?And then respond to that!!  There are some core truths about humans- regulated, connected kids who feel safe do well.  So if you’re child isn’t doing well- ask yourself if this is about regulation, connection, felt-safety or some combination of those.Then, based on your child’s level of arousal/dysregulation, you can intervene in a way that will calm their arousal and bring back their owl brain.   We've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)