The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Dr. Mona Delahooke is an infant and toddler mental health specialist who weaves together the connection between behaviors and the nervous system. In addition to her direct clinical work with families, Dr. Delahooke has dedicated her career to bringing the science of behaviors and the nervous system to educators and parents.Dr. Delahooke’s third book, Brain Body Parenting: How to Stop Managing Behavior and Start Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids, was released today, March 15, 2022.In today’s interview with Dr. Delahooke, you’re going to hear about the three things she always takes into consideration when supporting a child with behavioral challenges: the child’s autonomic statedevelopmental stageindividual unique needs But more than practical tips, what I’m most excited for you to hear from Dr. Delahooke is how much compassion she has for parents of kids who struggle.  Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/BrainBodyParentingWe've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Consequences. Punishments. Limits. Boundaries.These words don't mean the same thing but we often use them interchangeably.In this episode, we get clear on what exactly is a consequence versus a punishment versus a boundary.And how parenting through the lens of regulation, connection, and felt-safety is absolutely not boundary-less or permissive parenting. It's a way of looking at our kids and asking "What does my child need to be successful?" and then giving them that.It definitely isn't about making sure our kids are always happy or never frustrated or we always say yes.It's about changing the lens on how we view their expressions of emotions and behaviors.And yes- it's about setting boundaries that keep our kids safe and help their brains develop the internalized co-regulation (self-regulation!) they need!In this episode, I reference a LOT of other episodes.Has Trauma Informed Become a Behavior Modification Technique?What’s Regulation Got to do With itFocus on Arousal not BehaviorConnection can’t not workWe are Always Searching and Yearning for ConnectionFelt Safety- what’s that?Connection or ProtectionWhat Behavior Really Is- free video series masterclassParenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain- online digital courseThis episode is a replay of an episode that originally aired on October 19, 2021.We've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

I'm introducing you to one more amazing mom this week (I introduced you to another amazing mom last Sunday! Go check it out!)This mom has given me the privilege of watching some pretty remarkable transformation happen as she practices being OK with exactly who she is.And how that matters in her parenting.I hope you love this special episode.Many many thanks to my special guest :)The Club opens periodically to new members- the next time is March 1 - 7, 2022!  See all the details and join us over at https://robyngobbel.com/theclubRead a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/SelfCompassionForThisMomWe've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

"I experienced post-adoption depression when my son was adopted as a newborn.  Now he has some behaviors that make it hard for me to parent with compassion.  How do we get out of this stuckness?"This is such a brave and vulnerable and honest question.  Thank you for trusting as well as trusting all my listeners to hold you and your son's pain.Regular podcast listeners won't be surprised that I start off by talking about self-compassion!  I have some thoughts about the important of everyone processing their grief, as well as how to support this parent's son is expressing authentic and valid feelings without being hurtful.In this episode, I mention my free ebook on attachment: https://robyngobbel.com/ebookWelcome to Fridays in February Q&As!  I'll be answering one question every Friday in February (yeah, yeah, I know today it's March!!!).Even though this Fridays in February series is over, I'm leaving the Q&A voicemail line open!  I'll release these bonus Q&A episodes occasionally, as questions come in!Have a question?  Leave me a voice message over at https://robyngobbel.com/podcastLook for the box that says "Send me a question!"Hit the button and record your question right on my website.  Easy peasy!See you next week!We've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Ever wonder how to apply the concepts of felt-safety and attunement to one of the trickiest parenting experiences ever?  Food and feeding kids with extreme picky eating, food preoccupation, or other feeding-related challenges that feel very stressful in your family?This is exactly why I invited today's guest to the podcast!Dr. Katja Rowell is a family physician in Washington State, the author of Conquer Picky Eating for Teens and Adults, Helping Your Child with Extreme Picky Eating, and Love Me, Feed Me.  Dr. Rowell is also the co-founder of Responsive Feeding Pros, an international digital learning platform for professionals working with feeding and eating challenges within a responsive framework.Responsive Feeding is a feeding model that has been in the academic literature since 2011 and is recommended by American Academy of Pediatrics. Dr. Rowell described Responsive Feeding as a model that ultimately helps kids tune into their hunger and fullness cues, while also recognizing and honoring that food is comforting and regulating.  Responsive Feeding is a model that is both high structure and high nurture, which ultimately allows for a lot of flexibility.  Responsive Feeding prioritizes felt safety; it is never intended to be rigid.  Responsive feeding is about attunement and helping caregivers respond to their child’s cues.All of this sounds very familiar right?  Attunement, felt-safety, high-structure, high-nurture.I knew Dr. Rowell would be just the right guest to talk to my audience!Dr. Rowell will be a guest in The Club in March, teaching a masterclass on Responsive Feeding!  We'd love to have you join us! https://robyngobbel.com/theclubRead a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/ResponsiveFeedingWe've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Today is your lucky day because you get to meet a pretty awesome mom.A mom who might be a little like you- even if you're a grandma or a dad or a foster parent or a big sister or whoever you are.A mom who is straight up with us right away that she knows it's very possible that her child will have possibly life-long struggles with regulation.  And even if that's true, there are still a lot of things she can do to make life easier or better or maybe just less hard.I hope you love this special episode.Many many thanks to my special guest :)Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/BehaviorDoesntChangeWe've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

A parent grapples with her six-year-old's meltdowns when plans go awry. Insights reveal the power of empathy and structure in navigating these emotional storms. Strategies like changing sensory channels are discussed to help kids process disappointment and distress. The importance of parental calmness during these moments is emphasized, offering a pathway for better emotional management. Resources for further support are also shared, fostering connection and understanding between parents and children.

We talk a lot about our kids' owl, watchdog, and possum brain.But what about ours?Let's talk about mine.  How I was almost convinced our moving company was a ponzi scheme plotting to steal all our stuff.How I grow and strengthen my owl brain.How my owl brain has been tested in the past couple months as my team and I move The Club.  The movers did not steal our stuff.  They did do some extremely odd things but that's fine because they moved my stuff across the country.We've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

"How do I help adoptive parents feel more empathy toward their child's parents so that their relationships can improve?"I love this question.  Thank you for calling it in, and thanks for even having it.The answer takes a few twists and turns as I talk about grief, all feelings being welcomed, and believing in everyone's infinite worth.Listen for the full answer as well as questions we can all ask ourselves to really do a self-inventory- have I created a space where all feelings are welcome?Link to Kent Hoffman's Infinite Worth Ted Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9fHCrP8hZMWelcome to Fridays in February Q&As!  I'll be answering one question every Friday in February.Have a question?  Leave me a voice message over at https://robyngobbel.com/podcastLook for the box that says "Send me a question!"Hit the button and record your question right on my website.  Easy peasy!See you next week!We've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

****please don't listen to this episode when your child can overhear****Most parents I know have had the thought “I do not like my kid.”Parents of kids with big baffling behaviors, lots of dysregulation, and especially histories of attachment or relationship trauma have had that thought more than once.Then they become paralyzed by the shame of having that thought. More than once.They tell no one.  Or if they do, it’s with a tone of both shame and horror at themselves. In a way, I have found this self-shaming to be more significant in the parents who are drawn to my work. Y’all are parents who are committed to understanding what behavior really is and how to respond by increasing connection, co-regulation and felt-safety.You’ll say things to me like “I know why my kid is struggling.  I know why they act this way.  It’s awful for me to feel like I don’t like them.  I’m an awful person.”We've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)