The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Behavior is just what we see on the outside that tells us about what’s happening on the inside.If we want to change behavior, we have to change what’s driving the behavior.This approach to behavior change rests on the idea that regulated, connected kids who feel safe behave well.  If you’re curious about how I came to that conclusion, you can watch my free masterclass and download the free eBook on Focus on the Nervous System!How many times have you felt confused because of conflicting parenting advice?Or how often has good parenting advice worked- but only some of the time?That’s because parenting advice is aimed at stopping a behavior. But…Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/ChangeBehaviorLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

I know it feels very frustrating when you find a therapist, arrange your schedule, and find a way to pay for therapy only for your child to not participate. Often parents ask me how to get their child to participate or what to do if their child won’t participate.  But actually what we really need to talk about is what does it look like to participate- or not- in therapy.  Especially as a child.In this episode, we’ll talk aboutWhat therapy really isWhat the right pace is for your childHow it’s not possible for your child to not participate (if the therapist is prioritizing safety)FREEOne-page PDF infographic on What Therapy Really Is!CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inboxRead a summary of this episode, access the full show notes: RobynGobbel.com/ChildInTherapyLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

No matter how much effort we put into understanding behavior, seeing our kids for who they truly are, and connecting with their infinite worth, for those navigating the baffling behaviors of kids who have experienced trauma, or have sensitized stress response systems and/or vulnerable nervous systems, parenting can be traumaticIn this episode, you’ll learn:Why the experience of trauma in parenting isn't being talked aboutThe kinds of experiences that make parenting traumaticSigns of toxic stress and trauma in parenting Ways to get your nervous system what it needs to healRead a summary and full episode transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/parentingistraumaticLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Sometimes it feels like our kids have a hole in the bottom of their heart.  No matter how much love and attention is put in, it seems like it’s never ever enough.  These kids cannot hold onto the feeling of presence and connection.  When it’s there, it’s great.  When it’s not, it’s like it was never there to begin with and they’ll never get it again.  They don’t have a string that connects them to all the moments of connection they’ve had in the past and all the moments they will have in the future.  In this episode, you’ll learn:What whining and clinging behavior meansWhy some kids seem like a bottomless pit of needsSteps to fill your child’s connection cupRead a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/BottomlessPit Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Understanding your child's Mental Models, a specific kind of Implicit Memory, can help you make sense of your child's behaviors and helps you know what experiences they need from you to change their beliefs about themselves, relationships, and their sense of safety in the world. In this episode, you’ll learn:What a Mental Model is and how it influences our perceptions and behaviorsHow our Mental Models are developedWhat conditions can create Mental Models that contribute to big, baffling behaviorsHow we can change Mental ModelsHow to discover your child's Mental ModelsRead the summary or full transcript at https://robyngobbel.com/mentalmodelsDownload a FREE worksheet to help you discover your child's mental models at https://robyngobbel.com/mentalmodelsFree eBookWatch the Trauma, Memory, Behavior video series and download the free eBook HERE or go to RobynGobbel.com/VideoSeriesLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

What if understanding memory science and the impact of trauma on memory processing would help our children’s behaviors make sense?You know trauma impacts behavior, but there's a fascinating link between trauma and memory that will give you an even greater understanding of what's shaping your child's confusing behaviors. Understanding memory science helps you respond with more compassion, empathy and boundaries.In this episode, you’ll learn:Complex memory science in a way that makes senseWhat happens when memory processing is disrupted by traumaWhy disruptions in memory processing lead to difficult behaviorsClarity on what our children need in order to ‘jump start’ the memory processing system and ultimately decrease difficult behaviorsRead a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at RobynGobbel.com/TraumaMemoryBehaviorFree eBookWatch the Trauma, Memory, Behavior video series and download the free eBook HERE or go to RobynGobbel.com/VideoSeriesLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

When your child can't handle hearing 'NO' or gets really dysregulated when a boundary is set, it can be really hard on the whole family. Understanding the role of Frustration Tolerance in your child's reaction to hearing 'NO' can help you set them up for growing this developmental skill.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why some kids are delayed in developing this complex developmental skillThe impact of trauma on frustration toleranceThe role of mental models and memory processing in developing frustration toleranceHow we can set our kids up to grow this developmental skillRead a summary and full episode transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/frustrationtolerance/To learn MORE about the possum pathway, grab this FREE infographic about the Owl, Watchdog, and Possum brain! CLICK HERE to get it sent to your inbox!Want to learn more about disappointment? https://robyngobbel.com/disappointmentLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

A conversation with Melissa Corkum and Lisa Qualls, authors of Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith about blocked care- what it is, what causes it, and how families can begin to recover. In this episode, you’ll learn:What is blocked careWhat are the symptomsHow can you overcome blocked careResources mentioned in this podcast:Blocked Care Assessment: theadoptionconnection.com/parentingaftertraumaWebsite: Reclaimcompassion.comBook: Reclaim CompassionRead a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/blockedcareLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Looking for practical strategies to nourish a fried nervous system?Living with someone who has significant vulnerability in their nervous system can lead to a sensitized stress response system, resulting in unpredictable and sometimes unsafe behaviors. This can leave our own nervous systems in a state of distress. While we often discuss secondary trauma in parenting kids with trauma histories, the truth is that living with someone who has significant dysregulation is trauma in itself. Understanding this perspective allows us to acknowledge the challenges we face without criticizing ourselves or others.In this episode, you’ll learn:The impact of parenting on your nervous systemThe consequences of burnout and lack of supportSigns of a fried nervous systemPractical strategies for nourishing a fried nervous systemFREEOne-page PDF infographic- what to do when your nervous system is fried!CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inboxResources mentioned in this podcast:Previous episode recommendations:Connection vs. Protection (7)Self Compassion (8)Understanding Behavior is Not Excusing Behavior (109)Grief in Parenting Kids with Vulnerable Nervous Systems (129)Scaffolding (82)When Parenting is Traumatic (95)Read a the full transcript at: Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

In part 3 of this series on Boundaries with Connection, Juliane Taylor Shore talks us through how boundaries work in relationships with our children - relationships where we have to show up every day - and why it is so important for us to have good psychological boundaries when our children are verbally aggressive. In this episode, you’ll learn:What are psychological boundariesHow do psychological boundaries help usWhy good psychological boundaries are important when a child is verbally aggressiveHow to create space between your mind and another's mindResources mentioned in this podcast:Juliane Taylor Shore's website: https://www.cleariskind.com/Juliane's boundaries course: ​​https://therapywisdom.com/neurobiology-of-feeling-safe/Jules' Relationship Podcast : https://whydoesmypartner.com/Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/boundaries3Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)