The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair

I know you guys love all things Enneagram (and I do too!), so I'm thrilled to bring back our resident Enneagram expert and dear friend of mine, Ramona Reid. Ramona, who is also an Adult Chair® Certified Coach, has always done a beautiful job weaving together The Adult Chair® with the Enneagram, helping us understand how our inner child and childhood wounding shapes our personality type and how our Adolescent fear manifests depending on our Enneagram type. But the point of the Enneagram is not to put you in a box of personality...it's to help you see the ways you're already stuck so you can transform and become a more whole, authentic self! Each type also has the healthiest, highest version of their type (aka The Adult Chair) where the beautiful gifts and virtues of each type bring healing to the world...for example, Type 1's integrity, Type 2's love, Type 8's power and Type 9's peace. So, in this episode, we're focusing on what healthy looks like for each Enneagram type, so you can better understand what life looks like for you when you are in your Adult Chair! Listen to discover: A breakdown of all nine types and their highest versions What The Adult Chair looks like for each Enneagram type How to tell when you're becoming healthier Why we all access healing differently I hope this episode gives you a guide to see when you're living in your Adult Chair and reminds you of the beautiful gifts you uniquely bring to the world! "When we're in our Adolescent...our way of being is coming from the illusion that there's something missing....When we start to realize that we are in fact the source of this thing that we think is missing...that's when we start being in our Adult Chair." - Ramona Reid "The only way we can really get there is to identify the feeling behind the doing." - Ramona Reid "I don't think time heals. I think really getting in there and being curious and working with our emotions is what heals wounds." - Ramona Reid "This is what The Adult Chair is all about. That's why we've got all the aspects of what a healthy Adult looks like, so we can reach and point our energy towards that." - Michelle Chalfant "You're not going to lose those parts of yourself. You're going to lose the part of yourself that acts out by not wanting to be scared." - Ramona Reid "The next thought is the conscious thought from the Adult perspective." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Ramona Reid Website http://www.mynashvillecenter.com/ Episode #51: Find Your Authentic Self at the Heart of the Enneagram with Ramona Reid https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/51/ Episode #114: Deepening The Adult Chair® Using The Wisdom of the Enneagram with Ramona Reid https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/114-deepening-the-adult-chair-using-the-wisdom-of-the-enneagram-with-ramona-reid/ Episode #176: Childhood Wounding in the Enneagram with Ramona Reid https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/176/ Episode #205: Stress and Your Enneagram Type with Ramona Reid https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/205/ Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/ TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart More Adult Chair The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

We've talked a lot about narcissistic abuse and the emotional effects of it on this podcast, but we haven't dug into how this experience affects the brain and how neuroscience and healing from narcissistic abuse go hand in hand…until today! In this episode, we're diving deep into this very important topic with Dr. Rhonda Freeman, who is an expert on the brain, neuroplasticity and trauma and who brings a message of hope to anyone wondering how to heal. Dr. Freeman is a neuropsychologist who works with patients with neurological conditions and brain trauma, and after her own experience in an abusive relationship with a narcissist, she began using her knowledge of the brain to help survivors of abuse and trauma heal. This is an absolutely fascinating episode that gives an inside look into what is actually going on in the brain during and after an abusive relationship, how the healing process works and the hopeful science that shows why anyone can change their brain after trauma. Listen to discover: How a romantic relationship with an unhealthy person changes the brain The effects of narcissism on children Why anyone can heal and how the healing process works The prefrontal cortex and trauma How to get back into a balanced brain state The importance of bodywork in changing the brain One of the most interesting things Dr. Freeman talks about is how abusive situations activate parts of the brain that wouldn't be activated otherwise...for example, the bonding system and threat system being triggered at the same time. When we can see what's going on at a brain-chemistry level, it helps us understand why these situations are truly so unique and damaging...and why none of it is your fault! But the hopeful side is that the brain is constantly changing and being shaped by new experiences, so with the right tools, you can heal and transform your brain and get back to a healthy, balanced state...and this episode will show you how! "In general, experiences change our brains." - Dr. Rhonda Freeman "The brain will do whatever it takes to protect you." - Dr. Rhonda Freeman "We're bonded...and even though we're in threat, we can't let go." - Michelle Chalfant "You have to have others to heal." - Dr. Rhonda Freeman "Pay attention to your intuition. If it feels off, don't sweep it under the carpet." - Michelle Chalfant "Bonds don't necessarily mean love." - Dr. Rhonda Freeman Resources Dr. Rhonda Freeman Website https://neuroinstincts.com/ Dr. Rhonda Freeman Instagram https://www.instagram.com/neuroinstincts/ BrainHQ (Brain Training) https://www.brainhq.com/ Diner Dash (Video Game with Cognitive Benefits) https://www.crazygames.com/game/diner-dash TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

As you know, codependency is one of my "things." Fortunately, it's less of a thing these days, but I understand firsthand what it's like to spend years so focused on others that we lose our sense of self. That's part of why we talk about this so much on the podcast — so many people suffer for years not knowing about codependency, and I'm passionate about helping you get free...quickly and simply! My guest today, Darlene Lancer, is a licensed marriage and family therapist, author and expert on codependency and relationships. She has worked with couples and individuals for 30 years, and she shares SO much valuable information in today's show about what codependency looks like, how to begin recovery, the connection between shame and codependency and practical steps to becoming a healthy, whole you. Listen to discover: The three stages to codependency recovery The shame and codependency connection Shame attacks and how to get out of them The importance of mindfulness in recovery How to start feeling your anger as a codependent The connection between codependency and attachment styles 10 ways to love yourself Darlene closes the show with her 10 tips for loving yourself, and let me tell you, they are so beautiful! I remember when I was beginning my healing journey and being told I needed to learn self-love but having no idea where to begin...and these tips are exactly where to start! I hope this is an enlightening and empowering episode for anyone ready to unlearn codependency and learn to love themselves. "We become alienated from who we really are because of faulty parenting, and we keep trying to fill up that emptiness or feel more alive by trying to connect to something outside ourselves." - Darlene Lancer "Self-esteem in action is being self-empowered." - Darlene Lancer "A parent's most important job is to reflect their child." - Michelle Chalfant "Codependency is based on faulty beliefs." - Darlene Lancer "The unconscious doesn't distinguish between messages it hears from the outside and messages you tell yourself." - Darlene Lancer "When we realize what's going on, it's like Act 2. And it's a very exciting time." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Darlene Lancer Website https://www.whatiscodependency.com/ Episode #249: The Power of Self-Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/249/ Episode #253: Codependency and Anger with Michelle Farris https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/253/ The Adult Chair Membership - April "I Believe" Month https://theadultchair.com/membership/ P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Everyone wants a caring, loving family, right? But is it possible for close to become too close? "Enmeshment" is a term that's been gaining more traction recently, and it describes family systems that are intertwined in unhealthy ways. These families appear very loving from the outside, but that love is often based on guilt and obligation...and usually the family doesn't even know this about themselves! My brilliant guest today, Dr. Ken Adams, is pulling back the veil on enmeshment and helping us understand what it is and when and how it forms. One of the leading researchers and teachers on this topic, Dr. Adams helps us understand when closeness crosses a line, how to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy family structures and how to break free and develop secure attachments to your partner, friends or other relationships you've created. Listen to discover: What enmeshment means How it forms in childhood The effects enmeshment has on a spouse or partner How to change the family system Why getting free is something you have to do for yourself Often, enmeshment is rooted in a lonely parent who substitutes their child for their partner. This leads to adult children who feel a sense of obligation to the parent's well-being, even at the expense of their own needs or the life they've created. The good news is that this doesn't have to be an either/or scenario. It's possible to love your family without feeling tangled up with them, and you CAN redefine the relationship and become free to be who you're meant to be — including a great son or daughter. "The love contract is defined by obligatory guilt and loyalty, not about freedom to love." - Dr. Ken Adams "The empathetic, sensitive soul in the family gets globbed onto by the lonely parent." - Dr. Ken Adams "Enmeshment has a direct impact on romantic availability." - Dr. Ken Adams "Emancipation is not a negotiation." - Dr. Ken Adams "The idea of cracking [the false self] open and becoming the true self is terrifying because we don't know who we are without that mask." - Michelle Chalfant "It feels like your spouse is having an affair, but it's with their mother or their father." - Michelle Resources Dr. Ken Adams Website https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/ Dr. Ken Adams YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzFj2abP0cx8tEO1eLyjbDA "When He's Married to Mom" (Dr. Ken Adams book) https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/books/when-hes-married-to-mom/ "Silently Seduced" (Dr. Ken Adams book) https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/books/silently-seduced/ The Adult Chair Membership - April "I Believe" Month https://theadultchair.com/membership/ P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

This 5-minute meditation promotes relaxation, healing, and self-love. It's a wonderful meditation for emotional healing and/or physical healing or for anyone seeking greater peace in their lives.

Feeling stuck in life is one of the worst feelings. It can feel helpless, hopeless and confining — like no matter what we do, nothing is going to change and we have no options. But this is a story from the ego! From our Adult, we know we ALWAYS have choices. That doesn't always mean we love every option or we get the exact outcome we want, but we are never stuck. We can always make the next best choice. Many of our listeners have written in asking about how to get unstuck, move forward or get their joy back, so today I'm sharing five simple steps to start getting change from the inside. These steps are easy but PACKED with power. If you try these and don't see a change, I want to hear about it — I'm that sure they will help you! Listen to discover: Five simple (but powerful) steps to getting unstuck What keeps us from making the changes we want How to reconnect back to ourselves The power of nature and a gratitude practice in getting unstuck How to stop talking and start doing Everything in your life begins with a dream. It starts with your imagination, daydreaming and really feeling how the life you want could feel (this is how we begin to shift energy). Then it becomes reality as your intention and action align. The answer never comes from the outside. We have to patiently take one step forward at a time, knowing change takes time (but that it can be faster than we think). The life you deserve and are waiting for is right at your fingertips, and you can get there with these simple steps. "If you don't know yourself, how in the world are you going to change?" - Michelle Chalfant "Oftentimes when we're stuck it's because we're not creating." - Michelle Chalfant "What you talk about comes about." - Michelle Chalfant "The only thing that's stuck is your thinking." - Michelle Chalfant "From our Adult Chair, we know we have choices." - Michelle Chalfant Resources 14 Days to Peace and Balance Journaling Prompts https://theadultchair.com/14days 5-Minute Self-Love Meditation https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/5-minute-self-love-meditation/ Episode #254: Change Your Life With Breath With Nevsah Karamehmet https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/254/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Would you believe me if I told you that 90% of unexplained illnesses could be traced to one simple thing...something you do every day? Believe it or not, they can, and that thing is breathing. Studies have shown that hundreds of different ailments that can't be traced back to a known cause can often be connected to dysfunctional breathing. The good news is that breathing is SO simple and easy to work with (all it takes is about five minutes a day), and in this episode, I'm interviewing the perfect person to help you get started. Nevsah Karamehmet is a breathing expert and a wealth of knowledge on the science behind the breath and how it impacts every system in our bodies. In this episode, she shares how breathing affects our thinking and ability to process emotions, what healthy breathing really looks like and how to change your life through your breath. Listen to discover: The connection between breath and psychology The science behind healthy breathing How balancing the inhale and exhale balances the nervous system Why breathwork is a great introduction to meditation The connection between different types of breathing and different health issues Simple exercises to help you start breathing better I know what Nevsah is saying is true, because I've had this experience working with a personal trainer on my lower back. He connected my pain back to my breathing and has me doing breathwork to heal a physical issue. How much more is our breathing also affecting our thoughts, feelings and emotions every day? Breath is the essence of life, so it's absolutely something we need to learn how to do. Nevsah gives us a few really basic exercises to begin with that are SO easy and can make such a huge difference in our overall well-being. Every human needs to hear this episode! "Breathing affects our psychology. The way we breathe affects how we think." - Nevsah Karamehmet "There is no correct way to breathe on the mechanical level...We all have different breathing habits. Some of those habits are helpful and some of those are harmful." - Nevsah Karamehmet "If your breathing is flexible, then you are healthy." - Nevsah Karamehmet "When we don't stop the emotions, they pass through us." - Michelle Chalfant "In my breath journey, I became an Adult." - Nevsah Karamehmet Resources Nevsah Karamehmet Website https://www.nevsah.com/ Breath Coaching Federation https://www.breathcoachingfederation.org/ Breath Hub App https://breathhub.app/ Nadi Shadan Breathing Technique https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1jb7l2Uf7c Belly Breath Technique https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9q9WTzqQTns&t=2s TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Those who struggle with codependency often struggle with anger as well...but not in the way you might think. Unlike ragers or those with explosive anger, codependents tend to stuff and suppress anger to please others and avoid conflict...often not even knowing what they're feeling themselves. This is just as unhealthy! We need anger to guide us towards our needs and connect us to our experience. Anger, when expressed in a healthy way, can also lead to healthier relationships as we begin telling others how we feel and resolving problems before they turn into resentment. Today, I'm talking with Michelle Farris, a licensed psychotherapist and anger management specialist, who is sharing her experience of learning to own and communicate her anger. She talks about how codependency forms, why feeling our anger is important and how to begin overcoming the fear of conflict and expressing yourself in relationships. Listen to discover: Concrete examples of what people pleasing looks like The importance of validating emotions Beginning recovery from codependency How to catch the first thought and regulate anger (while still owning it) How to communicate your anger in a healthy way Anger is such an important human emotion...I think of it as rocket fuel to propel us towards what we want. When we're codependent and don't know ourselves, anger can be a key way to tap into our core needs and desires. It's not selfish to look inward...and what you tap into inside of yourself might surprise you. "Whenever we hit a road bump, I always remember there's going to be a huge gift on the other side of that." - Michelle Farris "Healthy anger is us owning how we feel in the moment." - Michelle Farris "When we stuff our anger, we're denying our own experience." - Michelle Farris "I think of anger as rocket fuel. It really helps to push us forward in life." - Michelle Chalfant "We don't cross the finish and feel 100% healthy. We are all a work in progress. But the thing you want to be doing is making sure you're walking forward on your journey." - Michelle Chalfant "As you get healthier, you will attract healthier people into your circle." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Michelle Farris Website https://www.counselingrecovery.com/ Michelle Farris Facebook https://www.facebook.com/CounselingRecovery/ Michelle Farris Instagram https://www.instagram.com/counseling_recovery/ Episode #11: Codependency: I'm Ok If You're Ok https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/11-codependency-im-ok-if-youre-ok/ Episode #127: Codependency: Ending the Addiction to Help Others https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/127-codependency-ending-the-addiction-to-help-others/ Episode #172: The Joy of Codependency https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/172-the-joy-of-codependency/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Wow — I was blown away by the response to last week's episode (#251) with my one and only, Graham Chalfant. It seems like so many could relate to our relationship dynamics and the learning and work we've done over the years...and so many of you also asked how we started doing the work and making changes in our relationship. In this week's episode, I'm focusing the conversation back on the self and how we can each choose to show up differently in our relationships from our Adult Chair. We can't make anyone change, but if we think of relationships as a dance, we can change the way we're dancing, which gives our partners the opportunity to shift and fall into step with us. This is true for all kinds of relationships, not just romantic ones. Listen to discover: My story of changing the dance in my own marriage How to change the tone of your relationship by doing your own work Finding your self-worth and setting boundaries in relationships How to be more open and relational We all bring our wounds, expectations and "stuff" to a relationship. When we do our work, we not only transform our own lives but we change the tone of our relationships, inviting friends and partners who are a true match for us into a new way of relating to each other. Everything — including strong, connected relationships — starts within! "If you want to change your relationship with anybody, you've gotta change the dance." - Michelle Chalfant "We are always attracting in other people based on our unconscious programming." - Michelle Chalfant "You've gotta see yourself as a very beautiful, precious diamond, and when you can see yourself like that, boundaries become more natural." - Michelle Chalfant "When you own your stuff, it sets you free." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Episode #251: How Feeling Your Emotions Can Change Your Relationship with Graham Chalfant https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/251/ P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

Everyone wants connection — we're hardwired for it as humans! But we can only connect as deeply with others as we've connected with ourselves. Strong relationships start by going within, feeling our emotions and being willing to open up and share with our partners. On this week's podcast, I have a very, very special guest...my husband! We're talking with you today together and sharing some very personal details about our marriage and how feeling emotions has changed our relationship for the better. Graham comes from a background where emotions weren't expressed, and I come from an Italian family that was very expressive. For so many years, we both saw the other as not emotional enough or too emotional. Learning to feel, honor and share our emotions has deepened our connection so much and been so transformational for us. In this episode, Graham shares what helped him learn to process his emotions, how that's changed his response to different situations and the changes we've both seen in our relationship. Listen to discover: How relationships can help us overcome childhood issues when we approach them with consciousness The importance of raw, open communication in a relationship Somatic processing and the power of feeling emotions in the body Navigating anger and stress in a relationship How feeling emotions deepens intimacy (both emotional and physical) By the way, Graham did all of this work on his own (no bonus points for having a spouse who is a therapist and coach!). Which means YOU can do this too! We're all born with the ability to feel our emotions, but we have to tune in with intention instead of running away from them. When we do, we'll find they stop coming out sideways and are instead an invitation into deeper connection with others. "When we engage in a relationship with another human being, our childhood issues are going to rear up. That person is here to help us work through those childhood issues." - Michelle Chalfant "Once our youngest child left the house, then it all slowed down and it became more apparent to me that I needed to figure out this 'feeling' thing." - Graham Chalfant "I learned I could just sit with it and in 30 seconds, that heaviness would literally melt away." - Graham Chalfant "Everybody has the ability to feel emotions. At some point along our life journey, we turn them off and turn them down." - Michelle Chalfant "When you feel an emotion without building a story around it, the emotion goes through you in 90 seconds." - Michelle Chalfant Resources Episode #42: Inviting Your Relationship into The Adult Chair with Michelle and Graham Chalfant https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/42-inviting-your-relationship-into-the-adult-chair-with-michelle-and-graham-chalfant/ Episode #49: Am I Fraud? Imposter Syndrome & You! https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/49-am-i-a-fraud-imposter-syndrome-you/ P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston New Dates: September 16-18, 2021 https://theadultchair.com/charleston/ More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ TAC Circles https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ (Previously "TAC Gatherings") Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com