The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair

Watch any rom-com or fairy tale and they'd have you believe relationships are as simple as meeting someone and falling in love. But is love really all it takes to have a healthy relationship? Though we often think of relationships as a matter of the heart, the truth is there's a whole world of chemistry happening in your body and brain that has more impact on your relationship than you realize, such as: What partner you pick How you bond and attach What you perceive as threat in a relationship How you respond to stress The way your mind stores memories How you view your partner And ultimately whether your connection grows or dissolves over time Dr. Stan Tatkin, who looks at relationships through a biological and psychological lens, is back on the podcast this week talking about the relationship essentials that lead to not just long-lasting relationships but happy relationships. He breaks down what's really going on under the surface in different relationship situations (like conflict or betrayal), the critical role our threat response plays in building or damaging connection and how to consciously create more secure functioning based on principles like fairness, justice and mutuality. Listen to discover: The two things that cause relationships to dissolve How our stress and threat response systems impact our relationships Why our brains "automate" and how to stop taking your partner for granted The difference between attachment and love The importance of "quick repair" in a relationship How to build more secure functioning in your partnership The dangers of loneliness and isolation We must have safety in order to have connection. Dr. Tatkin says the goal is to learn how to remove interpersonal stress and feelings of threat in relationships, which lead to not just relationship health but mental, emotional and physical health for everyone in and around the relationship. The next time you meet a new love interest or the next time you and your beloved are having a conversation, don't just ask how you feel about the situation – also pay attention to how your nervous system is reacting and what your body is telling you. This awareness is key to picking the right partner, creating more emotional safety and building more life-giving, long-term partnerships. "[One reason relationships fail is] the manner in which all of us will interact when one or both of us is under stress. And this has to do with threat...where our brain changes and we start to, on some level, believe that the other person is not an ally." - Dr. Stan Tatkin "Everything is about relationships and how we navigate our way in those relationships." - Michelle Chalfant "Learning about ourselves is intertwined with learning about another person." - Dr. Stan Tatkin "The only remedy to automation...is presence and attention. We have to build things in that ensure we're in love or in respect." - Dr. Stan Tatkin "When we are in an argument with our beloved, it's so important to give them something while we are in process." - Michelle Chalfant "Quick repair actually saves us downstream...the smart thing to do is to fix things now so that we don't end up spending all of our time in the junkyard, not living life but sorting out everything we did wrong." - Dr. Stan Tatkin "The main problem with most issues around affairs, cheating is the lying...the biggest damage is the reveal of information that, if I had known, would have changed everything for me." - Dr. Stan Tatkin "Everybody has a different way of determining what is happy for them." - Dr. Stan Tatkin "It goes back to open, honest, raw communication, no matter what kind of relationship you're in." - Michelle Chalfant "This whole thing about, 'I can't quit you,' isn't a rational drive, but it is powerful as hell." - Dr. Stan Tatkin "The secret to longevity, happiness, mental health, physical health is the presence of at least one secure functioning relationship in your life." - Dr. Stan Tatkin "I think we need to start taking some risks of just inviting people over for dinner or out to coffee or go to lunch...start taking that risk and be brave and start connecting more. We need in-person connection." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Stan Tatkin Website https://www.thepactinstitute.com/ "In Each Other's Care" (Dr. Stan Tatkin Book) https://www.amazon.com/Each-Others-Care-Relationship-Conflicts-ebook/dp/B0B19FWBXL Episode #328: Understanding And Improving Your Relationship With Dr. Stan Tatkin https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/328/ Find an Adult Chair® Coach https://theadultchair.com/coach Share Your Love: Review The Adult Chair® Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634 Headspace Try it free for 30 days https://www.headspace.com/adult30 MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

There's something in your life you want to change. Where do you start? My friend, business coach and wildly successful entrepreneur, Michael Hyatt, says there's one thing we can change that transforms everything else: our minds. Our thoughts drive our actions, and our actions drive our results, which is why if we want different outcomes in life – whether in our relationships, our business, our finances or our happiness – we have to start by looking within. In this episode, Michael explains the inner narrator we all have, a part of us that seeks to make meaning of our lives by interpreting and telling stories about the things that happen to us. The problem? These stories are often untrue or rooted in fear, which creates limiting beliefs that hold us back. Michael shares his three steps for working with the inner narrator and how to choose a more empowering mindset that leads to a life of agency, choice and power. We talk about how to get out of victim, why adversity can open up new possibilities in our lives and how to avoid getting sidetracked by triggers, fear and grief while still being radically honest about our emotions and reality. Listen to discover: ● Why mindset affects everything about our lives ● How to reframe our stories and choose more empowering thoughts ● Michael's three steps to challenging our inner narrator ● How adversity can open up new possibilities in our lives ● Understanding intuition vs. fear ● What triggers are and how not to get sidetracked by them ● The power of taking breaks ● Choosing imagination over worry ● Why failure can be our greatest teacher One of the pillars of being a healthy adult is busting stories and living in fact and truth, which is the key to an empowered mindset. And as Michael shares, even when we have a challenging set of facts, we can still choose the most empowering story for ourselves, reframing adversity and believing in possibilities – and ultimately, in ourselves. "Success begins with your thinking…Getting your thinking right is about 90% of anything. If you have the right thinking, you'll eventually take the right actions that lead to better results." - Michael Hyatt "If you don't like your reality, you have to look at your thinking." - Michelle Chalfant "As long as I was the victim, I was powerless. Once I could stop being defensive and accept the fact that I had agency in the midst of this situation...all the power came back, and it gave me a whole range of options." - Michael Hyatt "Our brains are meaning-seeking machines. We can't live without meaning." - Michael Hyatt "Everything that's happened to you is in the past. You can't change any of it. All you can change is how you interpret it." - Michael Hyatt "The greatest advances in my life have been on the heels of some adversity. I had to have a breakdown to have a breakthrough." - Michael Hyatt "I realized that nothing can trigger me. Only I can trigger me." - Michael Hyatt "Triggers are a gift, because when we're triggered, it's a way for us to uncover an unconscious limiting belief that we have about ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant "Stress is antithetical to good creative thinking." - Michael Hyatt "To take a break can be life changing." - Michelle Chalfant "Worry is basically a distortion of imagination." - Michael Hyatt "Experience is our greatest teacher." - Michelle Chalfant "There's no failure. There's only feedback." - Michael Hyatt LINKS & RESOURCES Michael Hyatt Website https://fullfocus.co/ "Mind Your Mindset" (Michael Hyatt Book) https://mindyourmindsetbook.com/ Full Focus Planner https://fullfocus.co/planner/ Michael Hyatt Instagram https://www.instagram.com/michaelhyatt/ Michael Hyatt LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhyatt Find an Adult Chair® Coach https://theadultchair.com/coaches/ Share Your Love: Review The Adult Chair® Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634 MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

It's easy to think everyone processes the world the same way we do. After all, we're all born with a mind that is here to help us make sense of our human experience. But what if there is actually a huge range of ways we each make sense of reality – and superpowers to be found in our ways of processing the world? Empaths are people whose nervous systems are wired with the ability to mirror others around them; in other words, they can actually feel the experiences of others in their own bodies. This is a beautiful gift to offer the world – and it can also present its challenges for empaths who might find themselves exhausted or disconnected from self because of the environment around them. In this episode, the ever-wise Sarah Weiss breaks down what an empath is, signs you might be an empath and steps you can take to find grounding and peace as an empath. We also explore why our culture needs to do a better job nurturing these types of abilities in people and the clues that reality is bigger than just the physical world we can see – from fascinating stories about near-death experiences to the path of a soul's spiritual growth. Listen to discover: What an empath is The difference between an empath and a highly sensitive person Why being an empath is a superpower Signs a child might an empath Why we should be cultivating these types of abilities in people How to find more peace if you're an empath The story of Sarah's near-death experience What near-death experiences, dark nights of the soul and plant medicines can teach us As we learn more about consciousness and the complexity of the mind, it's an invitation into the sacred. Mind-expanding experiences, whether a near-death experience or the way your empathetic brain is naturally wired, give us the opportunity to ask bigger questions about God, soul, the universe and our purpose. The fact that we have the consciousness to ask these questions is a gift – a gift that points to a reality bigger than ourselves. Let this episode expand your mind and take you on an adventure of asking big questions to understand yourself and the world better! "You're usually born an empath, and then from the very beginning, you don't understand that you are processing the world in a completely different way than most other people are." - Sarah Weiss "An empath is someone whose nervous system and brain have a certain physiological configuration...that makes us able to mirror how someone else feels physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually." - Sarah Weiss "I really believe that empaths are a preview of the future human...it's actually an advanced spiritual quality." - Sarah Weiss "You do have to learn how to ground yourself and find the definition of your being so you actually have a clear understanding of who you are." - Sarah Weiss "I just don't see how people can really develop their boundaries without learning about energy." - Sarah Weiss "There is a wounded child inside most empaths." - Sarah Weiss "It's not a matter of...'I didn't protect myself enough. I was too overly empathetic.'...Is it just that we just need that alone time to recharge?" - Michelle Chalfant "I really think that we are severely lacking in the understanding around birth and death and...how important it is to understand, to frame this lifetime, to put it in context." - Sarah Weiss "There's documented research on [near-death experiences] that's out there." - Michelle Chalfant "As we develop as human beings, we go through natural initiations...If we were living in a culture that honored and recognized these, then we would derive tremendous meaning from them." - Sarah Weiss "[The dark night of the soul] is there for a reason, and there are lessons to learn and always something to gain. It's hard though, when you're in the middle of it." - Michelle Chalfant "I have seen profound healing [through plant medicine]. I've witnessed it... But what's so important is that you do it with a skilled practitioner…The integration is where the greatest healing happens." - Michelle Chalfant "I think being an empath takes you into the sacred. I think the deep meaning of life gets felt by an empath." - Sarah Weiss LINKS & RESOURCES Sarah Weiss Website https://www.spirithealonline.com/ Episode #21: Grounding and the Energy of the Earth with Sarah Weiss https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/21-grounding-and-the-energy-of-the-earth-with-sarah-weiss/ Episode #135: The Enlightened Empath with Sarah Weiss https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/135-the-enlightened-empath-with-sarah-weiss/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

I believe that we are born as beautiful, pure beings, connected to God/Source and full of love – our true selves. Though we never lose our true essence, throughout our lives, we have experiences that wound us and we put on masks to feel safe in this world. This creates a sort of "false self" that covers up who we were really meant to be. But I believe all of us can reconnect with our true selves – our Adult Chairs – and in doing so, live more authentic, peaceful and intuitive lives. This is the heart of The Adult Chair® model and a conscious choice we must make every day! In this episode, I'm sharing some practical ways you can live connected to your true self, including how to notice and work with the challenges that try to disconnect you from who you really are. Listen to discover: ● What connection to self means ● Why staying connected to the true self is so important ● The things that disconnect us from our true self ● The power of feeling our emotions and working with triggers ● The way our daily choices impact our connection with self As I share in a personal story in this show, there will always be someone or something that triggers us, distracts us or tries to pull us away from ourselves. But staying connected to self is a choice! We can decide that no one will take us away from us. And as always, remember this is a journey, and each moment of challenge is an opportunity to notice where you are on your path and how far you've come. You've got this! There really is no better way to live. "At the root of The Adult Chair is our true self." - Michelle Chalfant "Your true self is underneath all these masks, these limiting beliefs." - Michelle Chalfant "When I'm connected to my true self, I'm connected to my inner compass." - Michelle Chalfant "When I'm connected with my true self, I have a connection with God, Source." - Michelle Chalfant "Every time that you sit and work with these triggers and you don't let them take you down, every time you work with them, that trigger begins to lose its power." - Michelle Chalfant "When we're triggered, there's something in it for us." - Michelle Chalfant "A trigger is something we carry with us." - Michelle Chalfant "Holding that connection to the true self, which means staying in our Adult Chair no matter what, is the healthiest place for us to live. It's the most authentic place to live. And it takes work." - Michelle Chalfant "I am not allowing anybody to disconnect me from myself." - Michelle Chalfant "The world reflects where we are. The world is our mirror." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Summer 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Close Soon! https://theadultchair.com/certification Episode #364: How To Work With Triggers and Parts https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/364/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Guess what? I got triggered this week. AND I was able to work through the trigger and meet the most beautiful younger part of myself using the tools in The Adult Chair® model. In this episode, I'm letting you guys in on exactly what happened and walking you step-by-step through how I transformed this trigger — and how you can use the exact same process the next time you're triggered. It all started with a relatively simple interaction with my husband, Graham. Though we didn't have a fight, this interaction brought up feelings of anger and rage in me. As I dug into those feelings, I found that a 10-year-old part of me was feeling really scared and unsafe because the interaction reminded her of an unpredictable situation from childhood. And what happened afterwards was SO POWERFUL that it still gives me chills! Listen to discover: ● What triggers are and where they come from ● Why triggers are a HUGE opportunity to heal ● The step-by-step trigger tool I used to transform my trigger ● A powerful script for working with younger, scared parts of self ● How working with triggers can lead to healthier relationships The really cool thing is that instead of letting my anger create a fight between Graham and me, we were able to have a really authentic conversation about what happened, and I left feeling seen and supported. This is the power of doing our work! I wanted to openly share this story to not only equip you with the tools to work through a trigger, but also to show you that the goal isn't to "arrive" or "stop getting triggered." The goal is to do the lifelong work of turning inward to get to know and transform ourselves so we can connect more deeply with self and others. "There are tools within this model that help us to heal and transform whatever is going on in our lives." - Michelle Chalfant "We have so many parts that are within us. So, when you get triggered, remember, it's an unconscious belief that's rising up inside of [you]." - Michelle Chalfant "Triggers are an opportunity for us to see what is unknown within ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant "Oftentimes anger and rage...it's a defense against a more vulnerable emotion." - Michelle Chalfant "Our emotions oftentimes are stacked." - Michelle Chalfant "Nobody can make you feel anything. How you feel is already within you." - Michelle Chalfant "Working with triggers is such an important thing to help us to heal and live with emotional balance…Working with triggers is a way to stay connected to yourself." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Summer 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Now Open! https://theadultchair.com/certification MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Are you ready to have all your relationship questions answered by not one, but two couples therapists…who also happen to be a couple themselves? Linda and Charlie Bloom are psychotherapists who have been married to each other for more than 50 years, and in this week's episode, they're spilling all their secrets about how to have healthy relationships – secrets from both their clinical training and their personal experience of building their marriage. This discussion is like getting weeks of counseling in just one hour! We cover topics like: the role of self-worth in a relationship, how our partners can help us heal childhood wounding, the importance of asking for what we want and need, how to navigate conflict in a healthy way, what to do and not do during an argument, how to repair broken trust, what to do when your partner doesn't want to work on the relationship and the underutilized habits that create great relationships. Though this is PACKED with information, we don't just talk about concepts but give you practical advice on what to do in these situations, from how to hack your brain for more productive conflict to how to appeal to your partner's self-interest to get the relationship you want. Listen to discover: ● The surprising connection between self-worth and healthy relationships ● Why some people have trouble receiving love ● The importance of asking for what we want and need ● Why we marry people like our parents ● How to have healthy conflict in your relationship ● The three words you should never say in an argument ● How to get out of threat and fear states during conflict ● What "committed listening" is and how to show up with more presence ● What is required to rebuild trust when it's been broken ● What to do if your partner doesn't want to work on the relationship ● The most underutilized practice in relationships My favorite takeaway from this episode is that the key to having better relationships is believing it is possible. It's so easy to get caught up in frustration, resentment and conflict and give up on a relationship that has potential (did you know most couples divorce without ever seeking therapy?). But we have so much power in our hands to change the dance of our relationships and make them work. Though it takes two to tango and some relationships do end, Linda and Charlie give hopeful advice that will help you fight for your relationship instead of fighting with your partner – grounded in their own story of healing conflict and growing their love year after year. "We can never give any more acceptance and appreciation to somebody else than we can give to ourselves...We can't give that experience of worth to another person if we haven't internalized it within ourselves." - Charlie Bloom "We learn to love ourselves through relationships." - Charlie Bloom "Don't expect [your partner] to know what's going on with you emotionally. That's your job to share with them what you need." - Michelle Chalfant "When I grew some courage and started to ask [for what I wanted], I got loved in the way I wanted to be loved." - Linda Bloom "There's a part of us that I think is innate within all human beings to want to feel whole, to want to feel integrated." - Charlie Bloom "If we can appeal to the other person's self-interest, that sometimes helps them to get over their conflict phobia." - Linda Bloom "One-hundred percent of the time, defensiveness is activated by fear." - Charlie Bloom "Starting a conversation or an argument with 'you, you, you,' I call it throwing the shield up...That's not a conversation. It's defensiveness." - Michelle Chalfant "A lot of people, they think good communication is required for a good relationship. But they think about speaking. They don't think about the other side and how important the listening is." - Linda Bloom "One of the statistics that breaks my heart is that most people who get divorced never go to one couple's counseling session." - Linda Bloom "If you can respect your partner and what their path is, then all is well." - Michelle Chalfant "Of course we're going to have differences, but they don't have to turn into arguments and conflict." - Linda Bloom LINKS & RESOURCES Linda and Charlie Bloom Website https://bloomwork.com/ "An End to Arguing" (Linda and Charlie Bloom Book) https://www.amazon.com/End-Arguing-Valuable-Lessons-Relationships/dp/1646638085 Linda and Charlie Bloom Facebook https://www.facebook.com/lindaandcharliebloom Linda and Charlie Bloom Instagram https://www.instagram.com/linda_charlie_bloom/ Summer 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Now Open! Use code SUMMER2023 to save $1,500 by April 23 https://theadultchair.com/certification Headspace Try free for 30 days https://headspace.com/adult30 MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

One of the things I get asked about the most is how parents can help their children grow up to be healthy adults. How do you set your kids up to naturally slide into their Adult Chair, while they are still literally children and adolescents? I decided to put myself out there and talk with my son, Blake – who is now a young adult and coaching clients of his own – about his experiences growing up and what he believes is most important in helping kids get into their Adult Chairs. In this vulnerable and authentic conversation, we talk about both of our experiences during Blake's childhood, from the work I had to do around my own triggers and codependency to the delicate dance parents need between boundaries and allowing their children to have experiences and make mistakes that shape them. Blake also shares that most of the young people he works with feel isolated and like they're not enough, leading them to look for external validation. He talks about how, through honesty, safety and unconditional love, parents can help kids navigate the unique cultural challenges of their time and address the most common questions in every human's heart: "Who am I?" "Am I loved?" "Am I enough?" Listen to discover: ● The balance between surrender and boundaries in parenting ● How to encourage your kids to talk to you and open up to you ● Demonstrating unconditional love, even when you have to discipline your kids ● The common thing all young people (and humans) struggle with ● The greatest gift you can give your kids ● How to help your kids feel their emotions ● Some of the unique challenges that kids today are facing, including porn and technology Blake was growing up during my years of private practice and working with The Adult Chair® model, so I think this is a beautiful story of what happens when parents and children are willing to learn and grow together. I'm so proud of who Blake is today, and I hope this encourages you that you don't have to be a "perfect" parent or have "perfect" kids to raise children who become healthy adults – all you need to do is show up with presence, a lot of love and your own Adult Chair. "Most of the time, people really don't want advice, but what you can do is just offer what you have to say without an expectation." - Blake Chalfant "The culture that we're raising kids in today is scary in some ways. And is not healthy." - Blake Chalfant "We have to surrender, but there has to be a balance of boundaries as well." - Michelle Chalfant "There's a very fine line between things that are gonna really come back to bite them in the ass and then your own projections of how you think they should be." - Blake Chalfant "No one feels like they're enough from a very young age, and we spent the rest of our life trying to fill that void with external validation." - Blake Chalfant "I think that's important too: owning your mistake, apologizing, cause you're modeling that for the kid." - Michelle Chalfant "These beautiful children are with you for a reason." - Michelle Chalfant "You can unconditionally love and support your kids while having extremely firm boundaries." - Blake Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Blake Chalfant Website https://blakechalfant.com/ Blake Chalfant Instagram https://www.instagram.com/blake.chalfant Blake Chalfant YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@BlakeChalfant11 Summer 2023 Adult Chair® Coaching Certification - Doors Now Open! https://theadultchair.com/certification MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We know that trauma and addiction affect the brain and body in so many ways. But when Dr. Elisa Hallerman overcame addiction and began working with others in recovery, she realized there was something big missing in the conversation about trauma and addiction: how it affects the soul. This inspired her to create a new paradigm for talking about sobriety called "Soulbriety," and it's changing the game for how people heal. In this episode, Dr. Hallerman shares all about what the soul is and how we can heal it from trauma, how she worked through her pain (and how you can too) and how to navigate a "dark night of the soul" to bring greater healing and wisdom into our lives. She also talks about the different types of trauma, how they affect the body and brain and what trauma healing modalities are most effective for different situations. This episode is PACKED with practical information about healing trauma and addiction along with beautiful explanations of how our souls work and the journey each soul takes to grow in wisdom and maturity. Listen to discover: Dr. Hallerman's "Soulbriety" method of healing addiction and trauma What the soul is What trauma does to our soul How to create space to go into your soul and do the work One thing you can do if you're in pain right now Why some people are unhappy even if they have "everything" How to find a good trauma therapist The best trauma healing modalities What a "dark night of the soul" is – and how it can lead to wisdom The stages of the soul journey and how to turn pain into purpose Dr. Hallerman's Recovery Management Agency If you have experienced trauma of any kind or find yourself in a difficult season of growth, this episode will give you hope, a higher perspective and helpful next steps to turn pain into purpose. "I think that everyone has some form of an addiction...We all have that desire to want instant gratification and to want something outside of ourselves to make ourselves feel better." - Dr. Elisa Hallerman "I describe trauma as soul loss." - Dr. Elisa Hallerman "When we're in pain as humans, the last thing that we typically do is sit, get curious and listen." - Michelle Chalfant "The inner work is really looking at and making what is unknown known." - Dr. Elisa Hallerman "Individuals are different, their trauma is different and the way that their bodies and brains interpret that event are going to be different." - Dr. Elisa Hallerman "If you have trauma, make sure you are finding the right therapist." - Michelle Chalfant "The dark nights of the soul are the moments in our life where we have to take the time and really have the patience to sit and really alchemize all of that information and that pain. And that is where the wisdom is going to come from." - Dr. Elisa Hallerman "What is that piece inside yourself that you haven't yet healed?" - Dr. Elisa Hallerman "When people think we've made mistakes in our lives, it's like 'Are they mistakes? Or can we turn them around and create something beautiful from what we've experienced in the past?'" - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Elisa Hallerman Website https://drhallerman.com/ Dr. Elisa Hallerman Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drelisahallerman/ "Soulbriety" (Dr. Elisa Hallerman Book) https://drhallerman.com/soulbriety/ The Adult Chair® Live – April 14-15, 2023 Attend in-person in Charlotte, NC or Virtually https://theadultchair.com/charlotte/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Throughout our lives, we hear so many voices of others telling us who and how we should be. Societal norms, our parents, our partners…it can feel like everyone wants something for us and from us. To cope with this, we develop limiting beliefs, survival strategies and masks that we wear. We start to think these things are really who we are, and they become our roadmap for life…unless we find the courage to look within and discover who we really want to be. In this episode, I talk with fellow life coach and kindness curator, Dr. Jeremy Goldberg, about how we can break out of the boxes that the world tries to put us in, find what we want in life and create a new reality of kindness on the planet. We talk about how to listen to your "heart whispers" instead of fear, what intuition does (and doesn't) sound like, the role of the ego and the one thing you can do today to break through limiting beliefs. Jeremy is a master of making these big concepts simple through great metaphors and analogies that will help you find more authenticity and peace within. Listen to discover: How one act of kindness changed Dr. Jeremy Goldberg's life How to listen to your heart and find who you really are What the ego is + a bigger perspective on life How to audit your life and find your limiting beliefs Choosing wholeness over happiness Being human is hard, and we're all trying to figure it out one day at a time. When we take the brave step to find our true self, live with compassion and treat our fellow humans with kindness, we not only change our lives…we can change the world! "I believe that beliefs are choices." - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg "People may not know who they are, but they do know that they're not living the life that makes them peaceful. They know that they're not living from their true self." - Michelle Chalfant "We're all human, and we all have the same exact problems." - Michelle Chalfant "Sometimes if we're unclear about what we do want, we can approach that same thing from the opposite trajectory, which is, 'What do you NOT want?'" - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg "It's really hard to change the picture when you're living in the frame." - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg "Heart whispers, and fear shouts." - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg "The mind is really loud. Our brains are megaphones of fear, comparison, criticism and judgment. And so, my advice would be to get still and feel God." - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg "Intuition doesn't come at you with all this fear and screaming at you." - Michelle Chalfant "It's undeniable that your upbringing affects your life. It affects your nervous system. It affects the way that you see the world around you." - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg "I think a lot of people chase happiness instead of allowing wholeness." - Dr. Jeremy Goldberg LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Jeremy Goldberg Website https://www.longdistancelovebombs.com/ Dr. Jeremy Goldberg Instagram https://www.instagram.com/longdistancelovebombs/ Long Distance Love Bombs Podcast (Dr. Jeremy Goldberg Podcast) https://www.longdistancelovebombs.com/podcast "It'll Be Okay, and You Will Be Too." (Dr. Jeremy Goldberg Book) https://www.amazon.com/Itll-Okay-You-Will-Too/dp/0692624724 The Adult Chair® Live – April 14-15, 2023 Attend in-person in Charlotte, NC or Virtually https://theadultchair.com/charlotte/ MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

In my 25 years of private practice, the #1 issue I worked on with clients was feeling their emotions. Whether someone was anxious, reactive and raging or numb to the world, the question they were all asking was, "What the heck do I do with these emotions?" I've been there too. And it breaks my heart, because experiencing emotions is one of the gifts of being human. But the good news is that all of us can reclaim this part of ourselves and learn to feel our emotions. And when we do, it unlocks all kinds of possibilities in life! In this episode, I'm breaking down why it's so important that we learn to feel our emotions and some practical ways to do that. I'm also addressing some of the common fears and discomfort around feeling emotions (like, "What if I get stuck in this emotion?") and helping you understand why this is your birthright – and how it can improve your relationships, your intuition and your life! Listen to discover: ● Why it's so important to feel your emotions ● Why most humans struggle with this ● Four practical ways to feel your emotions ● How to connect with your inner child ● How to overcome blocks in feeling emotions No one is born without emotions, but along the way, we learn to suppress them – and in turn, disconnect from who we really are. Feeling emotions is the key to connecting back to yourself and one of the foundational pillars of being a healthy adult. I hope this episode helps guide you back to this essential part of you. "We'd have a completely different world if we were all able to tune into what our emotions are." - Michelle Chalfant "We become whole humans when we feel our emotions." - Michelle Chalfant "We're all born to feel emotions." - Michelle Chalfant "When we feel our emotions, it is a gateway into our intuition. We have enhanced intuition when we are in tune with and know what we are feeling emotionally." - Michelle Chalfant "Instead of asking yourself, 'What do I think?" ask yourself, "What do I feel?'" - Michelle Chalfant "Empathy is when we're able to tune into another person and feel what they're feeling. It's a beautiful skill to have." - Michelle Chalfant "Connecting with the inner child is simply activating an energy." - Michelle Chalfant "There's so much power in feeling our emotions." - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Free Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild BRAND NEW: The Adult Chair® Live – April 14-15, 2023 Attend in-person in Charlotte, NC or Virtually https://theadultchair.com/charlotte/ Headspace Try it free for 30 days https://www.headspace.com/adult30 MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant