Real Recovery Talk

In this episode we discuss the top five reasons why you keep going back to treatment. Unfortunately people have unrealistic expectations around what treatment is supposed to be for. We tell people all the time, if you're not doing it while you're in treatment, you won't do it when you are out of treatment. If you take these five things and really focusing on them during your treatment process it is going to be very hard for you not to be successful. Thank you everyone for your support. Remember, you can always turn your mess into your message! If you would like to reach us you can email us at tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com also please go and take a look at our Youtube Channel!!

The holiday season is here upon us. This can be tough for those who are in early recovery, especially being with family. Along with family comes a lot of emotions. You may have indulged in drugs and alcohol to get through previous holidays to get yourself through this time. Now, however; you are sober and you'll need to put new tools in your toolbox to move through the holidays sober. The big question I'm going to discuss today: How can we go into the holiday season and be sure we will be OK when we get out the other side? Don't go into the holiday season with the idea that this will be hard for you. Put your fear aside, celebrate being joyful with friends and family. Especially if you're new to sobriety, take heart to follow these steps and make your holiday season a good and memorable one. Here is a plan you can follow to have a safe, fun and enjoyable holiday season this year: #1 Create a plan for your holiday Not just plan where to go, but how you are going to deal with situations. If you are seeing family, you'll most likely be going back to the same dysfunction or bad habits of the family. Think about what you are going to do and say when family members put you in a "party" situation or try to bring you to a bar. #2 Find a meeting where you are going during the holiday Find a support person locally to reach out and talk to someone who can support you. #3 Communicate with your family members Tell your family your boundaries and expectations for your health and to support you. Let your family know if they cannot support you, that you will not be coming to the family function. They won't know what you expect unless you communicate with them effectively. Share with them your expectations weeks before you are going to meet them for the holidays. This will relieve the awkwardness of your family so they will know what you feel comfortable with during events. Tell your family that you don't want to be offered alcohol or drugs. If they are drinking, you may need to be in a different room. #4 Set up your accountability partners beforehand The newly recovered person should decide before they go to a family function who the responsible family members are which they can have for support. #5 Look at this as an opportunity to create new, wonderful memories with your family! Look for happy moments and fill your time with fun activities with your family and friends. Have meaningful conversations and tell them about your newfound sobriety. You may be a vehicle for others to become sober. You may have spent years not being there for your family, this is your time to show your family and friends you are sober and there for them. Have gratitude you have this opportunity to spend time with them. If your family is a party family and always uses drugs or alcohol, your best choice is to not attend a family gathering. Be proud of your sobriety and do not put yourself in a situation to lose what you have done for yourself! There's nothing on the face of this planet that is worth more than your sobriety. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [01:44] Sobriety - you haven't had to be sober for previous holidays, but now you do! [03:22] Going into your first holiday season as a sober person. [04:33] #1 Create a plan for your holiday [07:11]What should you do when your family puts you in a not-so-great situation? Plan ahead! [09:09] #3 Communicate with your family members [12:03] Decide what family members are supportive and communicate with them. #4 Set up your accountability beforehand. [15:59] Know that you have a say in what you do with alcohol. [19:09] Be proud to be the sober person in the crowd. [20:15] There's nothing on the face of this planet that is worth more than your sobriety. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center

"Addiction is so big in our society right now that it's best that you let loved ones know that they can have help. They can receive help, and they can do this. It doesn't have to kill them." -Devin Today, Ben and I chatted with Devin, who's an example of getting back on track. He began drug usage during childhood, and found himself in prison later. Devin gathered the strength to face himself and the beast within. He doesn't do it alone, but with the help of the people around him. Listen in as he talks about using drugs to feel a void, getting back on track after a relapse, and how families can help their loved ones through treatment. Too Much Time on His Hands Isolation created a gap in Devin's childhood of growing up in Atlanta, GA. He raised himself since 5th grade while his family was busy with work and life. His family's absence made him yearn to be noticed. Devin felt lost despite knowing his family was working to give him a better life, especially his father. Devin smoked his first joint around the age of 13. As he experimented with different substances and alcohol, it progressed into something he wanted to do every day. Devin thought the drugs and alcohol changed the way he felt. Besides that, he had a lot of time on his hands, and a gap in his life to fill. Devin tried Xanax at 15, and then Cocaine at 18. All his experimenting led him to using Meth at age 20. He lived with this addiction, even while in prison. After prison, he felt the urge to change his relationship with substances. Family and friends became a major inspiration for Devin receiving guidance about treatment, and even helping him get back on track after a relapse. Devin managed the beast within by refusing to give up on himself. A Message to Families and Friends Since family and a supportive community played a role in Devin's treatment, he encourages other families about their role in a loved one's recovery journey. Structure and accountability are needed in recovering and maintaining sobriety. Devin mentions the small routines, like making his bed, that helps him along the way. With the belief from himself and people around him, Devin is able to keep getting back on track day by day. Check out our website, where you can download episodes with helpful information for those in recovery and their families. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Highlights [02:12] - How early did Devin start experimenting with substances [05:07] - Isolation can influence substance abuse [08:46] - What did Devin's aunt say to him to help him get treatment [12:13] - A relapse occurs when he thinks he has his drug usage under control [18:30] - What was Devin's mindset when he restarted his program against drug usage [21:24] - Here are steps to support loved ones through treatment Episode Links and Resources Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center Real Recovery Talk on Facebook Find out more about Al-Anon and how this resource can support your family Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions

"I have a purpose today, and I feel God steps in my life a lot and he was telling me to have courage and be fearless." -Ira Today, Ben and I chatted with Ira, who's a real deal addict. He's had a ton of health issues like cancer, diabetes, and even facing death as a result of his drug and alcohol addiction. But he managed to turn his life around and now he's going on two years sober! Listen in as he talks about getting addicted, how he overcame it, and all the people who helped save his life along the way. Struggling to Find His Place Growing up in the 70s as half Irish and half Vietnamese, Ira felt like he never fit in anywhere. He went through some verbal and physical abuse at an early age. In seventh grade at age 13, he picked up his first beer and smoked dope for the first time. By age 15, he was an IV drug user and hooked on cocaine and opiates. Then he dropped out of high school with only a 9th-grade education and eventually became a convicted felon in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Florida. Years after his father passed away from cirrhosis, Ira turned to heavy drinking. "I drank alcoholically because I was searching for the high from dope and pills or whatever it may be, and I wasn't getting it." This led to frequent illness and hospital visits that did nothing to help his addiction... until a pivotal low point marked the real beginning of his turbulent recovery. Helping Others in Recovery After a lot of pain and uncertainty about where his life was headed, Ira has taken up a mantle that not many sober people choose. He shares his story in hopes of helping others recover from their addictions. Through his own experience of 35 years and newfound faith, he meets great people in places like hospitals, treatment centers, and psyche wards. Ira knows the importance of having a supportive person or group on the road to sobriety. Check out our website, where you can download episodes with helpful information for those in recovery and their families. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Highlights [05:26] What made Ira swear off heavy drinking for 13 years [07:26] How he got high on alcohol and drugs at the same time [10:49] Frequent hospital visits as an easy way to get a fix [14:11] Why the substance of choice plays a minor part in addiction overall [18:46] Ira's downturn before the turnaround [29:36] An intervention that led to him getting treatment for his health problems [40:04] The place and the meeting that ended up saving his life [46:58] How the last few months of Ira's life have changed Episode Links and Resources Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center Real Recovery Talk on Facebook Find out more about Al-Anon and how this resource can support your family Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions

"I have a place that I was comfortable with that I was already a part of for my recovery." -Reed Today, Ben and I chatted with Reed, who tells his story about how his addiction started in college. Raised locally in Palm Beach Gardens, Reed had a good life growing up with loving parents who gave him many opportunities in life. However, with his parents being conservative regarding drinking, Reed didn't get drugs and alcohol from his parents. Experimenting with Drugs While in high school, Reed did drink and smoke weed, but drugs and alcohol weren't a big problem at this point in his life. However, when he went to the University of Mississippi, he started to heavily get into drugs and alcohol. In his second year at university, his roommate sold multiple forms of hard drugs. With easy access to drugs and alcohol, it was easy for Reed to become addicted to his personality. "That opened the door of my first year of solid, heavy drug use." When his house was raided by the DEA, and his roommate passed away from an overdose, Reed was charged, went to jail, and left school. Talking to Your Kids About Drugs and Alcohol Reed agrees with us when we talk about being overly strict with your kids about drugs and alcohol, especially in teen years. Instead of telling them not to do anything, be open and frank with your children and have discussions with them about the adverse effects of drugs and alcohol. When kids aren't allowed to do anything and have a very restrictive home life, they will generally go out and start to party hard out of control because they were too sheltered in high school. Check out our website, where you can download episodes with helpful information for those in recovery and their families. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Highlights [06:04] Starting by experimenting with drugs and alcohol during his high school years. [09:48] Reed's progression from college drinking and drugs to DEA raids. [21:27] Why being a helicopter parent can persuade your kids to do drugs. [32:19] Entering into his first treatment program. [41:27] Needing a geographical change depends on your home life. [50:11] We discuss the pros and cons of methadone. [57:46] Speaking to other through AA to educate college students on drugs and alcohol. Episode Links and Resources Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center Real Recovery Talk on Facebook Find out more about Al-Anon and how this resource can support your family Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions

"Life continues to show up, whether you want to be a part of it or not." -Natalie Today, Ben and I chatted with Natalie, who endured horrible abuse as a small girl that gave her immense amounts of childhood trauma that ended up turning into a drug and alcohol addiction as a teen. Listen in to discover how Natalie overcame her addiction by healing her emotional wounds as an adult. Her Early Years Traumatized as a Child At the age of eight, Natalie was sexually molested and started drinking at the age of 14. As her disease progressed, she started using Zanax and was arrested at 17 and put on probation. She couldn't trust anyone by the age of 10 and didn't know who she was or what to do in her daily life. Natalie felt a constant challenge of wanting to be the best and fitting in with other kids her age. In college, Natalie became addicted to oxycontin, robbed her neighbor's home, and was picked up and put in jail for 14 days. Her father wouldn't bail her out, and she was considered the black sheep of her family. Shortly after her jail sentence, Natalie moved to Canada and started selling herself for sex to keep up with her drug addiction. Learning to Utilize Her AA Tools to Heal Surrendering is Natalie's lifeline to healing. "Everyday you need to surrender yourself." Natalie understands the importance of having a good, reliable support group, such as the people she's found at Rock Recovery Center. Check out our website, where you can download episodes with helpful information for those in recovery and their families. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Highlights [02:32] Natalie talks about her past history growing up in a family of six children. [07:22] Using the white chip to surrender yourself so you can heal. [12:53] How surrendering leads to recovery for addicts. [17:48] Utilizing sobriety in the form of having clean people around you to help you change your lifestyle. [22:49] Moving from one addiction to another because you need the high to survive. [33:07] How Natalie's life has changed since she started her recovery. [45:00] What she is doing to continue her recovery into sobriety. Episode Links and Resources Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center Real Recovery Talk on Facebook Find out more about Al-Anon and how this resource can support your family Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions

In today's episode, Ben and I talk with Vince, a 25-year-old recovering addict from Philadelphia. He stole a bottle of vodka and drank the entire bottle in sixth grade. In the summer of his freshman year of high school, Vince started smoking pot. Cocaine became a weekend sports celebration during his junior year of high school. Vince became an addict after his team coach gave him a prescription narcotic drug in his second college year. Vince was involved in sports as early as he could remember. His family consisted of three sisters, one of the older and two of them younger than him. Both of his parents were supportive of him and good, hard-working people. "Growing up, I was instilled with morals and values." He was brought up to respect elders, women, and to have good social manners. "I remember going to this fight in third grade. Everybody started cursing and fighting. Immediately after that, I said my first curse word, then I went home and started watching fighting videos." He isn't sure if this one incident brought him down a negative road, but his life was very different after this experience. The next year in fourth grade, he ended up getting kicked out of school for fighting. "I was fighting and cursing and doing things kids that age shouldn't be doing." He felt a purpose playing sports as he was always asked to play with the older kids in the next league up. "Everything on the outside just mattered so much, and I thought that was who I was. I thought that I was based on all external things." However, if anything went wrong, he immediately turned to anger and aggression, which he remembers his father modeling for him at an early age. His school discipline record was horrible. However, the school let him slide because of his athletic abilities. Vince remembers not having any consequences for fighting during his high school years. This enabled him to continue this behavior, along with smoking pot with his friends. Listen in as Vince tells his story of how he lost his scholarship to Rutgers, what happened when he became addicted to opiate drugs, and his multiple attempts at getting sober. At Rock Recovery Center, we take a humanistic approach to recovery, teaching our clients how to live independently in a sober world. We care about the success and safety of each and every one of our clients from the moment they step into our center to the future of their well-being. Check out my new website where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [03:09] Vince talks about his past experiences growing up in Philadelphia. [07:11] His first experience drinking in sixth grade. [13:33] Social acceptance and drug culture. [15:21] Personal identity associated with career for men. [18:25] Vince had his first experience with opiate drugs his senior year in high school. [19:45] He started stealing from his family to buy more opiate drugs. [25:11] The "Florida Shuffle" moving on from the treatment facility to another facility. [28:40] Ben talks about the incredible recovery culture in Florida. [33:10] Why Vince having his daughter wasn't enough to keep him sober. [37:01] Sobriety and addiction and how these two can easily interchange. [40:13] What is different for Vince in this recovery process? [43:42] His biggest fears for the recovery process. [45:27] Vince's spiritual AA experience. Episode Links and Resources Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center Real Recovery Talk on Facebook Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions

"What alcohol was doing for me outlaid what it was doing to me." --Tom Today, Ben and I are talking to Tom, who works in the recovery field. Born and raised in downtown Manhattan, he became a drug dealer and eventually became sober from drugs and alcohol. He has been on the road to recovery for the past seven years. Starting the Drinking Habit at Age 10 Born and raised in New York City, Tom grew up in abusive family life, reflected in his poor behavior at school. Feeling like something was missing in his life, he discovered that alcohol filled that void at 10. From the beginning, Tom drank too much and didn't know how to stop drinking as he was trying to impress the older adults who surrounded him. He was so obsessed with drinking and doing drugs that he had to stay an extra year in high school to finish up the credits that he missed from his addiction during the school year. Falling into Becoming a Drug Dealer Since many of his friends ended up selling weed in high school, Tom decided to go the same route as college wasn't even on his radar. "I had a big retail business with guys delivering for me. I was a career pot dealer." Although he knew he was living a lie as a drug dealer, the thought of becoming clean was scary because Tom realized if he left dealing drugs and his lifestyle that he would have to grow up and become responsible. Check out our website where you can download episodes with helpful information for those in recovery and their families. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [02:05] Tom's early years and how he became addicted to alcohol. [04:22] How New York and growing up in a fast-paced environment impacted Tom's addiction. [10:32] His circle of friends in high school was drug dealers selling weed. [14:00] The thought of getting sober was scary for Tom because he realized he would need to grow up. [16:55] The first time he decided to stop being an addict was on 9-11. [18:33] Discovering opiate drugs and how Tom thought he would be OK with opiates. [21:44] Adding cocaine to his alcohol and opiate drug addiction. [26:29] First time Tom experience hope in his life to get off of drugs and alcohol. [35:14] The point at which Tom stopped making excuses in his life. [40:16] Surrendering and how this affected his healing journey to recovering. Episode Links and Resources Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center Real Recovery Talk on Facebook Find out more about Al-Anon and how this resource can support your family Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions

"'Alcohol was the substance I just could not go without - I felt safe with alcohol." -Al Today, Ben and I are talking to Al, a native of Pittsburgh, who is sharing with us today his journey and what he did to become sober. He talks with us about Foundations - a program that provides housing for men moving through their journey of sobriety. His First Experiences with Alcohol At the age of 16, Al found a bottle of homemade wine in the basement of his home and decided to try it. When he drank, Al noticed that he didn't feel embarrassment, a common emotion he would have in public. "It seemed that alcohol was a solution for me, I didn't realize the hell that was in for me with alcohol." Although he wasn't aware of becoming an alcoholic, this was the start down the path to addiction. Alcoholic's Perspective on Drinking "I thought that everyone drank to feel good," says Al. He didn't recognize that there was a social aspect to drinking. Today, Al acknowledges that you need to be OK with your strengths and weaknesses and that having good self-esteem and self-worth is a key component to completely recover from an addictive state. When he talks about his addiction, Al says that his wheels fell off when the alcohol "didn't work anymore." At this point, there wasn't an amount of alcohol that he could drink that didn't make him sick. However, he didn't know how to or who to ask for help. Today, Al is grateful that he doesn't have to use alcohol to feel good. "It's incredible to not have that chemical holding me hostage all day!" Now, he learns about himself daily and seeks out meaningful relationships with others. Check out our website where you can download episodes with helpful information for those in recovery and their families. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [03:15] Al's experience with alcohol and growing up with an alcoholic father. [07:04] The emotional void that alcohol fills. [10:08] Starting to drink in the morning to avoid feeling hungover. [17:56] The wheels fall off when the alcohol doesn't work to solve your problems. [20:01] How he decided to go into rehab and who helped him get there. [24:58] Going into recovery simplified Al's life in a very profound way. [30:39] His first conference call with an addiction counselor. [34:34] Be willing to take suggestions from others to help you on the road to recovery. [39:33] What AA is all about and how you can use AA to recover. [43:48] Giving up alcohol gave Al his entire life back. Episode Links and Resources Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center Real Recovery Talk on Facebook Find out more about Al-Anon and how this resource can support your family Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions