The Forgotten Podcast

It’s no secret that the child welfare system can be frustrating for children, their biological families, and foster families alike. More often than not, agency workers are the people who have to carry the brunt of this frustration. Yet, if we were to take a look behind the scenes, we would see individuals who care deeply about children and families and are doing their best to secure positive outcomes for the people they serve—but they are overworked, overwhelmed, and often trying to keep up with ever-changing policies. My guest for this conversation is deeply familiar with nearly every part of the child welfare system, from investigations and licensing to prevention and support. Abraham Choate has spent years serving children and families through the Washington Department of Children, Youth, and Families. He’s also a licensed social worker who provides counseling part-time. Abe’s story and perspective offer us a unique look into the realities of child welfare, helping us understand how we can better support and partner with our local workers. In this episode, Abraham shares some of the inner workings on the agency side of child welfare, the stressful environment agency workers are thrust into, the importance of everyone having healthy boundaries, and much more. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/abraham-choate-281/

The child welfare system is far from perfect. However, numerous individuals, agency workers, and organizations like us are working faithfully to help support and uplift the children and families within that system. Our guest today knows this system intimately, as he has worked within it for over 40 years. Norm Suire worked first at Elgin Mental Health Center before transitioning to the Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS). With a lifetime of experience in child welfare, Norm brings such wisdom and honesty about both the joys and challenges of this work. He is also a husband and father of three sons and a proud grandfather of five. In this episode, Norm shares practical advice for the day-to-day life of a foster parent, insights into how agency and social workers are required to operate within the system, an encouraging perspective to adopt as we work with children and families, and much more. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/norm-suire-280/

Foster care has a way of changing how we see the world. It asks us to step into hard places, stay present, and let God reshape our perspective. For our latest guest, that’s meant gaining a richer perspective on biological parents, a deeper appreciation for the beauty and challenges of caring for children with disabilities, and so much more. Crystal Paine and her husband have been foster parents to two precious children—one who was medically fragile and reunified with his biological mom, and one who was born premature with significant disabilities, whom they later adopted. Crystal is passionate about supporting biological parents, advocating for children with disabilities, and living out the Gospel through foster care and adoption. In this episode, Crystal shares about leaning on our faith when we’re facing challenges that can be intimidating, how we can be intentional about offering dignity and grace to biological parents, some of the unique aspects of fostering a child with disabilities, and much more. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/crystal-paine-279/

“When trauma is our teacher, we are ill-equipped to live healthy lives in healthy environments. What we learn, we live.” We know that trauma often accompanies children when they enter the child welfare system. Usually, we talk about the effects of trauma and how caregivers can respond with support. Today, we’re looking at trauma through the lens of personal history to understand how individuals can discover, address, and heal the trauma in their own stories. Joining us to offer insights on “Story-Informed Trauma Therapy” (SITT), the method he created, is Byron Kehler. Byron is a Trauma Therapist with a private practice in Portland, Oregon. He’s here to help us understand the stories that lie behind hard behaviors and explore how we can respond with compassion, wisdom, and hope. In this episode, you’ll hear how best to help children while keeping their stories in mind, the power of helping children who have endured trauma maintain a sense of control, why our pasts can have such a big influence on our patterns today, and much more. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/byron-kehler-278/

Whether it’s across the world or in all four corners of her home, my guest today has over two decades of experience in the foster care and adoptive community. Beth Guckenberger lives in Cincinnati, Ohio with her husband, Todd. Together, they serve as the Co-Executive Directors of Back2Back Ministries, a nonprofit dedicated to providing comprehensive care to vulnerable children and families worldwide. After graduating from Indiana University, the Guckenbergers moved to Monterrey, Mexico, where they lived for 15 years. Between biological, foster, and adopted children, they have raised eleven children. Today, Beth travels and speaks regularly at conferences, youth gatherings, and church services about “reckless faith.” In this episode, you’ll hear the power of trusting God’s plan even when things feel overwhelming, strategies for maintaining a strong marriage in the midst of demanding family responsibilities, some of the hardships and joys that come with stepping into hard places, and much more! Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/beth-guckenberger-277/

Adoption and foster care are often depicted in dramatic ways in the media.  Whether it’s an adult suddenly discovering the truth that they were adopted or a depiction of constant conflict between a child involved in the foster care system and their caregivers, media can easily give us a skewed perspective of what life is actually like for the real people navigating these situations.  That’s why it’s so important to listen to the real voices of children, families, and workers in the foster care community—not to chase sensational details, but to approach their stories with compassionate curiosity. When we do, we discover that each journey is unique, that many see their experiences as stories of strength rather than sorrow, and that every person’s life is far richer than a single chapter. My guest for this conversation knows this firsthand. While adoption isn’t the defining feature of her daily identity, it has profoundly shaped her perspective. Hope Watts was adopted through the foster care system as a young child. Today, she enjoys raising awareness about foster care and encouraging others with a message of quiet resilience.  In this episode, you’ll hear the importance of holding space for each other’s stories, some powerful encouragement for foster parents, how to meet people with compassion, and much more. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/hope-watts-276/

If you’re listening to this, chances are it was passion that first pulled you into your role in the foster care community—whether you’re a professional, a caregiver, an advocate, or a faithful supporter. But here’s something you might not have realized yet: just because you started in one role doesn’t mean that’s where you’ll stay. As we grow and gain experience, our passions often deepen and shift—and one of the beautiful things about this work is discovering new ways to use your gifts to serve children and families in need. My guest for this conversation knows this well! He has seen this work from nearly every angle. Thomas Dent has welcomed children into his home as an adoptive and former foster parent. He has also worked inside Mississippi’s child welfare system as their former Director of Faith Based and Volunteer Services and Foster Parent Liaison. He knows the challenges that come with this calling, but in the face of those battles, Thomas carries a deep, steady hope in Jesus—the Father of the fatherless. In this episode, you’ll hear some of the challenges of working within a broken system, what a blessing a supportive community can be to vulnerable families, how your passion makes your work personal, and much more. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/thomas-dent-275/

“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” – James 1:27 (ESV) You’ve probably heard this verse if you’ve ever been to an adoption or foster care training, attended a conference that discussed child welfare, or even just sat through your fair share of sermons. The message of this verse couldn’t be clearer: God cares deeply about the most vulnerable, and we should too! My guests for this conversation know all about this calling and are here to talk about what it can look like in practice. David and Julie Zimmer have been married for 15 years and are parents to four children together—three by birth and one through foster care. David is the Head of Production and Promotion at Sovereign Grace Music in Louisville, KY. Julie volunteers at BSide U 4 Life, a local pregnancy care center in downtown Louisville, where she supports vulnerable families by offering childcare to parents attending GED, parenting, and Bible classes. David and Julie are passionate about foster care and dedicated to standing in the gap for children and families in need. In this episode, you’ll hear about the emotional challenges that come along with fostering, the importance of investing in your marriage, the necessity of acknowledging our limitations, and much more. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/david-julie-zimmer-274/

Content / Trigger Warning: This episode does contain mentions and descriptions of abuse, neglect, and sexual abuse. If any of this may be triggering for you, we recommend you either listen carefully, listen with someone else, or you may even consider skipping this episode. Unfortunately, so many children who enter foster care have experienced some terrible things in their lives. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reported that in 2022, children entered foster care for the following reasons: 62% due to neglect 33% due to drug abuse 13% due to physical abuse 6% due to alcohol abuse 4% due to sexual abuse These are just a few of the circumstances that cause removal, and they total to over 100% because these challenges are not mutually exclusive. My guest for this conversation knows this all too well. Destini McAlister experienced neglect and abandonment while she was still an infant. She would then go on to experience sexual abuse and rejection throughout her foster care journey. Although Destini’s journey was filled with hardship, her story is one of hope. In this episode, you’ll hear how God was guiding Destini’s steps throughout her journey, the importance of processing the past, how hope can be found even in the darkest of stories, and much more. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/destini-mcalister-273/

The child welfare system can be confusing and complex. Families are often expected to navigate administrative systems, the criminal justice system, the legal system, and the social system—all at the same time and with no prior instruction.  Our guest today knows the child welfare system inside and out—and she’s passionate about helping families navigate it with hope and clarity. She also understands that its challenges don’t impact everyone equally. Her work focuses on uncovering why families of color often face worse outcomes and unpacking the systemic issues behind those disparities. Shanelle Dupree is a former child welfare administrator who has practiced child welfare law. She is currently the executive director of Racial Equity Collaborative, a nonprofit focused on advancing racial equity for families and communities through collaborative action. In this episode, Shanelle shares the correlation between child welfare outcomes and race, why it’s crucial for parents to have the uncomfortable conversations about race with their foster or adoptive children, how to advocate for your child when they encounter racial discrimination, and much more. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/shanelle-dupree-272/