Crafting Solutions to Conflict

: Embracing collaboration, creativity, and compassion allows us to handle conflict more effectively. The Purposeful Planning Institute (PPI) held its annual Rendezvous in Denver, Colorado last week. In a keynote address, founder John A. Warnick spoke of the value of Collaboration, Creativity, and Compassion as cornerstones of the work that PPI members do. Those three ideas can also be effective tools, taken together, for addressing conflict effectively. You can learn more about PPI at www.purposefulplanninginstitute.com. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Publishing my 30th episode is a marker and a cause for celebration. I started to learn to host and produce a podcast in fall, 2018. The Podcasting Fellowship was a great experience. I published a trailer in December, 2018 and then began publishing weekly in January, 2019. It’s a blast. Podcaster Joanna Penn has been at it for 10 years. I heard her anniversary episode in March, in which she spoke of the 30th published episode as an indicator that a podcaster is committed. The idea stuck with me. And here we are: episode 30!

Andrew Karlen, Esq., provides counsel to serve the legal and human needs of his client business owners. Business owners should be clear about their ultimate business goals as early as possible, and put those goals in writing. They should plan for a business exit that allows them to achieve their financial, family, and community goals – recognizing that the implementation of the plans they make with a collaborative team of advisors will likely take much more time than the planning itself will. Andy recommended the book Finish Big, by Bo Burlingham. You can reach Andy at andrew@akarlenlaw.com or his cell, 914.629.7678. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Bad conflict (the damaging, anything-but-creative kind) happens. Knee-jerk reactions don’t help. When enmeshed in a bad conflict, it can be tempting to hunt for someone to blame. That’s not always useful. Think about what may have caused the problem (objective causes? subjective causes?) and then carefully consider your next steps.

Declarations in interpersonal relationships, such as ultimatums, can do unexpected lasting damage. Ultimatums, threats, and lines in the sand are hard to walk back, can cause a loss of face, and can lead to stalemate. It’s smart to think through the risks and rewards or the costs and benefits of declarations – before issuing them. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Dr. Vanessa Avery shares insights on religious diversity training, conflict in religion, and her role as Consulting Director to the Sharing Sacred Spaces Initiative (SSSI). Vanessa shares her academic and professional path, including her interest in René Girard, the late French historian, literary critic, philosopher of social science, and author of Violence and the Sacred. Her work with SSSI has a tangible effect on those who participate in the program. Vanessa’s other work, including religious diversity training and consulting, is both practical and inspiring. You can reach Vanessa Avery by phone at 203.500.0166 or by email at Vjavery222@gmail.com. Her website is https://vanessaavery.wordpress.com/ You can learn more about Sharing Sacred Spaces here: https://sacredspace.world/sss-initiative. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Approaching conflict with authenticity may seem difficult. Even if it is, it’s usually worth it. Perhaps the biggest advantage of authenticity is avoiding its opposite. And that’s because fake frequently fails. People usually know when the other person is not being genuine and resent it, even more than the genuine disagreement. Being authentic allows everyone involved to engage and move forward.

The phrase “yes, and” sends a different message from “yes, but”. “Yes, and” can lead to further discussion instead of rejection. The “yes, and” phrase comes from theater improvisation, where a statement is affirmed (yes) and then built upon (and). The same concept can apply in discussions about ideas and suggestions: instead of rejecting them with a list of their shortcomings (“yes, but”), acknowledge the ideas and work together on them. It’s the best kind of conflict: ideas that clash -- and also invite collaboration and creativity.

Rogério Faé Rodrigues, currently a visiting scholar in the U.S., talks about helping enterprising families, in the U.S. and in his native Brazil. Rogério describes his work, as one of the founders of Une Consultoria, as a being a facilitator as much as a consultant: helping families to decide and implement what is best for that family. He noted that “there is no way of doing succession by imposition” (a valuable insight on avoiding damaging conflict). He also named dialogue as “the most valuable tool for my work” (always good for both preventing conflict and resolving conflict.) Rogério recommended “The Power of Openness and Trust: How to Increase the Impact of Your Management Team” by Lars Clemedson. You can reach Rogério at rogerio@uneconsultoria.com.br. His company website (which translates to English very well) is https://unesucessao.com.br/.

Managing conflicting memories of a past event can be essential to preventing and undoing damage in interpersonal conflicts. At times, it’s possible to have a civil conversation about those conflicting memories. In other cases, it’s best to agree to disagree and move on. Managing the potential damage to the valued relationship is the key. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.