Crafting Solutions to Conflict

When you hear the words impartial and neutral, you may have a clear sense of a difference between the two -- or you may think that they are fully interchangeable. In the realm of conflict management or conflict resolution, the use of these different words can cause genuine, strong disagreement. Perhaps the best way to think of the neutral/impartial question is the fairness of that third party.  Whatever the term, is the third party who is responsible for the mediation process being fair in handling the process?Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

“John A” Warnick describes himself as a recovering tax attorney and family wealth counselor. John A and I talk about his professional journey, the founding of the Purposeful Planning Institute, PPI, and serendipity.  You can reach John A here: johna@purposefulplanninginstitute.com or 720.458.7770. You can learn more about PPI here: https://purposefulplanninginstitute.com/ Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

As with conflict, we can think of habits as being good, bad, and ugly. As this new year begins, it’s a logical time to look for new opportunities in how we handle conflict. Two suggestions: pick one habit that’s negative and try to do lessof it. AND, just as important, pick one habit that’s positive and try to do more of that one.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

I want to share three solo episodes, in particular, with you. The first two sound connected, and they are somewhat. Back in January, on the 27th, Episode 109 was on the topic of Unity and Unanimity. A related theme appeared in Episode 132, published on July 7, 2021: Independence and Unity.           Each is under seven minutes, start to finish, and listeners have found them especially helpful.           The third is Turkeys and Lizards Don’t Mix Well. Episode 151, under six minutes, published on November 17, 2021, a week ahead of the Thanksgiving holiday in the US. Turkey – the traditional dish. Lizard brain – the speak before you think part. In fact, a particular phrase in that episode resonated deeply. And it applies in any situation that is already a negative conflict or is heading in that direction:Don’t take the bait. Take a breath.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Some thoughts on the time of the solstice. The time of the solstice is one of extremes: days that are very short or very long. Extremes invite negative conflict. Yet we can try not to view our starting points as positioned as far apart as possible. When I was a young child, I believed that my December 21st birthday was a shorter day than everyone else’s: an early example of the challenge of unequal seeming unfair! Worse still, I didn’t understand the reason for the inequality. Finally, my birthday coincided with the shortest day because I lived in the Northern Hemisphere. That was my starting point. We all start from somewhere and that spot is a little or a lot different from those of other people. That difference provides an opportunity to find disagreement or to embrace the chance to learn, collaborate, and grow!Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

Cash Nickerson’s latest book, Negotiation as a Martial Art, describing the power of asking “why” and listening with curiosity and patience to what you hear – including giving the other person plenty of time to respond.  He’s not so sure about how to separate the people from the problem, as suggested in Getting to Yes: sometimes the people are the problem.  And yes, you can negotiate with bullies – it just takes some extra thought. You can reach him and learn more about his books at https://cashnickerson.com/. You can reach him at cash@cashnickerson.comDo you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

When we hear something that surprises us – and that we don’t agree with – it can be easy to jump to outrage and stay there. Stewing in the outrage and dismissing the person who said such a thing. Conflict embraced and solidified. “How could they say that!!” might be more useful as “How could they say that?” A question instead of an exclamation. A consideration of the need behind the words.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

Trust is a critical foundation to collaboration and positive change in any setting, education and far beyond. Trust can lead to a culture the fosters collaboration. When trust needs to be repaired, four commitments will help: a commitment to small and consistent actions; a commitment to humility and listening; a commitment to extending forgiveness and trust to others; and a commitment to completing the repairs.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Gratitude is a deeply personal emotion. Embracing a platitude that doesn’t feel right to us can lead to inner -- and even outer – conflict. Attitudes of judgment about other people’s apparent gratitude, based on our own perspective start us down the path of conflict.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

Next week, Thanksgiving Day is celebrated in the U.S. Turkey is often on the menu. And conflict is a frequent accompaniment as extended, intergenerational families come together. Our “lizard brain”, in the context of interpersonal conflict, is the part of our human brain that is like a lizard’s: quick but not careful. We can think ahead about how to avoid problems that we know are likely to occur; we can prepare to be at our own best; and we can take a pause (and not the bait) if an opportunity to lash out presents itself.These ideas can be useful in many contexts beyond Thanksgiving in the U.S. Family gatherings, workplace situations, and neighborhood meetings are all opportunities to be thoughtful and to plan ahead.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.