Horror Movie Talk

Synopsis Terrifier 3 is a sweet hallmark-esk Christmas movie about a middle-class family working through the stress of the holiday season. Mom is bored with her suburban lifestyle and Dad is constantly tired at work because he keeps being woken up by sweet little Suzy who has crazy dreams when she has too much sugar before bed. Oh yeah, and a clown dressed as Santa possessed by the devil wielding an ax is there as well. In reality, terrifier 3 is the continuation of the Terrifier franchise featuring Art the Killer Clown. After resurrecting once again Art meets up with an old friend and begins a brand new killing spree. With Christmas just days away the hustle and bustle of holiday commercialism does a fantastic job of masking the fact that there is an eclectic killer dressed in bizarre mime clothes killing multiple people everywhere he goes in gruesome and disturbing ways. It’s clear that Art is dead set on finding new and inventive ways to kill people and in this installment Art really goes for new territory. He’s like the Luis and Clark of killing, he’s just gotta map out that new lush land. Sienna from the last movie is back as well and trying to recover from her trauma but doesn’t really have time to do that since she is about to experience trauma anew. Review Terrifier 3, terrifier 3. What more can be said about Terrifier 3 that has not yet been said. My utterance is yet a meager portion. For the true understanding lies in the viewing experience. I will never be able to explain this movie to you in a way that will give you the visceral experience I had in the theater watching flesh rip from bone. Maybe herein lies the perfect word to describe Terrifier 3. It separates. Skin from muscle. A lower jaw from the upper jaw. Left butt cheek from right butt cheek. Every way in which a body can be torn asunder, Terrifier 3 will separate. Separate the boys from the men. The weaklings from the strong. The feeble from the stable. And the queasy from the iron stomachs. I had a great time watching this disgusting movie. However, I won’t pretend it was a perfect movie. It was pretty predictable. I knew Art would kill people and that Art killing people would take up a significant portion of the runtime, most of which doesn’t add much to the actual plot. But hey, that’s just terrifier baby. Score 8/10

Synopsis A woman called Darling is hired to house sit at a fancy, old, big haunted house in the middle of New York City. As she spends her days alone, she figures out the house’s ghostly past and slowly succumbs to the madness of the house’s, and her own, lore. Review I first watched this movie back in high school and thought it was the epitome of slow burn, creepy, woman-goes-insane horror films. As I have a lot more horror movie experience now (and film experience in general), I realize that this is basically a rip off of Repulsion (1965). This isn’t to say it’s a bad movie by any means; the many jump cuts and jump scares keep you on your toes (it could be argued that there are too many of these quick scenes), and there is an overall eerie feeling that is hard to shake once you finish. But, it’s not the best movie of a woman going insane. There are plenty of those, horror or not, that execute the trope a lot better than this one did. The first act is boring as all hell but the second and third ramp up the action just a little bit, and the main actress Lauren Ashely Carter is a very good Kristen Stewart type. Contrary to how I sound, I do enjoy this film, just not as much as I did when I was 16. Score 6/10

Synopsis The Devil’s Rejects is about three people that embody what Democrats imagine Trump voters to be. In this sequel to House of 1000 Corpses, the Firefly family are on the run from the law. Along the way, they wantonly murder and torture innocent victims for their enjoyment. And that’s pretty much it really. No themes are explored. No lessons are learned. It’s mostly just everyone yelling “fuck you” to each other for an hour and 46 mins. Review of The Devil’s Rejects Is it “good”? No. It’s not good, But I will say it’s about 50% better than House of 1000 Corpses. It has a higher budget, is more artistically shot, and has a few ok moments in it. However, like House, this is really a big bag of nothing. It’s just like watching pigs wallow in the mire. Instead of pigs, it’s annoying and psychotic white trash, and instead of a mire, it’s gore and swearing. I tapped into my Mormon brain while watching this, and thought to myself, they are so disrespectful. It literally took me 5 hours to get through between the forced ad breaks, and my self imposed breaks. It’s just a slog and doesn’t really have any redeeming artistic merit to justify itself. Anything really interesting is stolen from another movie that did it better. Why Patrons do you do this to us? Why?  Score 3/10

Synopsis The Substance follows Elisabeth Sparkle, a big time celebrity host of an 80s workout tv show, who turns 50 years old and gets sacked in pursuit of someone younger and “hotter” to host the show. After getting in a car crash, she meets a mysterious stranger who tells her about the substance, which can create a younger, more beautiful, better version of yourself. Lizzie decides to go through with this, and the results change the rest of her life forever. Review This movie is a doozy. It’s fun and stylistic and seemingly poses an important question about misogyny in Hollywood, women not being allowed to age, the emphasis on beauty no matter how painful, etc, but the commentary falls flat. In Coralie Fargeat’s first film, Revenge, I noticed a very similar occurrence. There is potential in The Substance for important discussions, but it turns into an extremist monster-esque chaotic clusterfuck instead of really giving us some answers, or at least worthwhile commentary. The film is more concerned about style than substance (which is ironic because of the name) and I think that works in its favor in certain areas, and works against it in others. Overall it is interesting, definitely a new trope and the setup is promising, there are some incredible shots and set dressings and the color scheme is captivating. Demi Moore gives an all time performance. There are some really great scenes but ultimately the execution of this film and its message or lack thereof is not where I’d want it to be or expect it to be. Score 6/10

Synopsis While on vacation, or holiday as the British say, the American expat Dalton family meet another family of three headed by Paddy (James McAvoy). After they return to their flat in London, they receive a postcard from Paddy inviting them to spend a long weekend with their family at their farm in the Western countryside of Britain. Initially hesitant, since they barely know each other, the Daltons decide to go. As the weekend progresses, Paddy’s jovial irreverent demeanor reveals a more overbearing and nefarious personality underneath. By the time they find out how much danger they are in, it’s too late, and the Daltons fight to escape. If you think that that synopsis is too spoilery, you should see the trailer! Review of Speak No Evil (2024) As many of you know, this is a remake of a Danish film of the same name that only came out two years ago. I was the only one here that hasn’t seen it before my viewing, so my experience with it is different from Max and Sydney. I think it gives my review less of a bias. I think this movie is really good. On it’s own it is a very compelling thriller that is well crafted and acted. James McAvoy really shines as Paddy, and perfectly strikes the tone of an overbearing line pusher with a barely contained rage underneath. Scoot McNairy and Mackenzie Davis playing ben and Louise act as the perfect foil to Paddy and each others characters.  I found the set up and character development throughout the film to be rich and interesting, and it made the awkward and disturbing situations more interesting because it felt very real. The fans of the original will have a real beef with the ending, which is way more Hollywood and safe for a thriller, but for me it still works great. Score 8/10

Synopsis Beetlejuice Beetlejuice picks up thirty years after the events of the first film, with Delia Deetz being a famous artist, Lydia having her own ghost adventures type show, and her daughter Astrid being a goth angsty teen. The Deetz family has to deal with the sudden loss of the paternal figure in their lives while also grappling with their own individual battles. When Astrid, played by Jenna Ortega, gets stuck in the afterlife and Beetlejuice’s ex wife Delores, played by Monica Belluci, starts stalking him, Lydia makes another glorious deal with Beetlejuice to save her daughter and get Monica Belluci off Beetlejuice’s back. Chaos ensues. Review As I’ve said many times, I am not a big fan of sequels. I was not very excited to see this, since it is a sequel so many years after the first I figured it was another cash grab. That very well might be true, but I unexpectedly had a really fun time watching this. Michael Keaton soars as the titular character once again, and with this star studded cast, it is almost a perfect comedy. Catherine O’Hara remains one of the funniest women who has ever set foot on screen, and the welcome additions of Willem Dafoe and Justin Theroux also put in the work to get some laughs. A few complaints are that I think I liked the practical effects and primitive CGI in the first movie a lot better than I liked the new CGI stuff in this one. It looked corny and even though this movie isn’t geared towards kids, the sandworm looked like something out of a Nick Jr. tv show. Also, there were a lot of moving parts that could have been cut down to one A and one B plot. All in all it is a very fun, new take on the Beetlejuice universe, and I loved it.  Score 8/10

Synopsis Incantation is a classic tale of three ghost hunters who travel to a secluded village in order to learn more about their spooky traditions and gather footage for their Youtube channel. However their journey quickly goes from silly to incredibly horrifying. Years later, the curse of the mother Buddha deity still remains. Review of Incantation Incantation is one of my favorite horror movies in recent years. Its kind of a hidden gem with no theatrical release. A lot of people in the horror community talk about wanting to find a movie that is actually scary and I really do think that this is it. I don’t want to hype it up too much for those of you who haven’t seen it because I don’t want you to have unrealistic expectations, but when I watched this movie for the first time I had to pause it and turn on the lights because I got too scared. It pulls the viewer into the story making you apart of the nightmare and for that this feels more like an experience than a movie. It wastes no time and gets scary within 5 minutes. If you haven’t checked it out please do yourself a favor and watch Incantation. Score: 10/10

Synopsis On a live broadcast during Halloween on sweeps week in 1977, a failing late night talk show starring Jack Delroy (played by David Dastmalchian) interviews a cult survivor supposedly possessed by a demon. The audience is amazed and horrified by the demonstration and Delroy soon finds himself out of his depth. But instead of heeding caution, he doubles down on the bit to save his show from cancellation to disastrous consequence. Review of Late Night with the Devil This movie has a great premise. What if you showed Regan from The Exorcist on a talkshow next to obvious fake psychics and debunkers that often appeared on late night. The talk show is a format that everyone is familiar with, and even the guests previous to the possessed little girl should all be recognizable stand ins for real life talk show guests such as Uri Gellar and James Randi. The biggest setback is that the writing and acting a little too on-the-nose, and it ends up feeling a little cringe. In what could be a super compelling and real-feeling found footage film, the artificiality really pulls you out of the moment and you definitely feel like you are watching a movie. It’s like when you see a movie or show about a stand up comedian, and the actor isn’t able to be convincingly funny but is met with uproarious laughter from the fake audience. It’s a type of uncanny valley that is created when actors aren’t able to match the charisma and timing of a seasoned professional, in this case, talk show host.  They made the genius move to explain that this is a failing talk show, so Jack Delroy’s wooden presence and indiscernible personality actually sells the “why”. That being said, this movie does have some good bones. The plot structure and utilization of the talk show format is great. It lends a new backdrop to the horror cliche of demonic possession. The tension ramps up convincingly, and the inevitable trainwreck that is foreshadowed is satisfying. I just wish they would have aimed for more realism in the writing and acting. Score 6/10

Synopsis Alien Romulus is about a young woman named Rain, and her Robot Brother Andy are stuck on a slave labor planet that never sees sunlight. On the day they finish their slave sentences and have technically earned their freedom, they are told that another 6 years have randomly been added. This is incredibly devastating for Rain, but not so much for Andy cause he is a robot and has zero emotion the whole movie. Anyways, Rain’s friends convince her and Andy to join them in a dangerous plan to hijack an abandoned ship in their planet’s orbit and use it to travel to a free planet. Upon entering space and eventually the abandoned ship, things start to become more and more eerie. Dead bodies are everywhere, gravity randomly turns off and back on, and the ship is in ruins. The deeper into the ship the group travels, the more Alien they experience, and everyone gets just a bit more Romulus than they were hoping for.  Review of Alien Romulus Alien Romulus is a really good-looking sci-fi with great visuals and a tense atmosphere. The vibes on the ship feel creepy, and there are enough interesting moments to keep me entertained for the most part. My trouble with this movie is that we dont really care about any of the characters except for Rain and Andy, and there are like 5 other characters. The movie drops little hints about these people’s lives like “Oh this person is pregnant” or “This person’s mom was killed by a robot” but it never really explores these things and in the end, I just didn’t care about any of these people. The movie also doesn’t really add anything all that new to the franchise. The ending does have something new which I won’t spoil, and I actually found pretty cool, but for the most part, the movie kept being like “hey! Remember face huggers!” or “hey! Remember the chest-bursting scene from the original! What if we did that again! Cool right?” and that was just starting to get a little boring. The movie is 2 hours long and while I was pretty engaged with it for the first half, the second half dragged a little for me. Its not a terrible movie, but I’m gonna give it a score of  Score 5/10

If I had a nickel for every horror movie starring a main cast member of Euphoria released this year, I’d have three nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it’s happened thrice. This episode we talk about Cuckoo a new limited release horror movie out now in theaters written and directed by Tilman Singer. Stay tuned whores Synopsis This movie is about an American girl dragged along to a resort in the Bavarian Alps. Something seems off about the way that random guests barf all the time, and how time loops back on itself for some reason. I mean, it could drive a person Cuckoo! Review of Cuckoo This one has a lot going on in it, and in the best of ways feels like an X-files episode. It’s hard to guess where it’s going. It was really twisty turny. I mean they usually do twisty turny, but this one is REALLY twisty turny.  Hunter Schafer plays the protagonist Gretchen, the moody teen overcoming a recent tragedy, and she does really well in this. Her performance is helped with some of the most convincing bruise and cut makeup as she is pretty beat up through the majority of the film The scares are few, but the tension is high. Singer does a good job at maintaining the feeling of being trapped in various ways. First as being a teen dragged along with the family, then as a patient in a hospital, then as a prisoner almost of the resort. Dan Stevens also is great as the smarmy resort owner bad guy. It is engaging throughout, but starts to get a little sketchy towards the end where it feels like it has to wedge in all the necessary exposition. I’m still confused about why some stuff happened at the end and felt like there were still some loose ends with explaining the “Cuckoo”, but overall it felt satisfying. Score 8/10