Horror Movie Talk

This was a really interesting movie that Bryce loved and David had strange feelings about. If you want to gain access to the full review, head over to patreon.com/horrormovietalk and sign up for the We All Spoop for Ice Spoop tier. That get’s you access to: The Afterpods Early Access to all reviews The Ability to vote for 1 movie a month for us to watch Thank you card loaded with stickers

The Gingerdead Man is just one of Charles Band’s 69 directed films and 342 produced films. You’d be hard pressed to call The Gingerdead Man a good movie, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a real fun time. You get to enjoy Gary Busey’s unhinged performance and a hilarious gingerbread man puppet commit homicide. What’s not to love? We also have the special treat to interview the legend himself, Charles Band, about his new memoire and about what it was like to work with Gary Busey (not great). Synopsis I think the best person to explain the Gingerdead Man is the director himself, Charles Band. [The Gingerdead Man is a] tale of a deranged murderer who gets executed and is brought back to life when his witchymother mails enchanted dough to a bakery where——oh, you get it. A psychotic cookie comes to life and rampages. Okay? Charles Band – Confessions of a Puppetmaster Well I guess that’s close enough. In the spoilers section we’ll talk about how wrong that actually is. https://youtu.be/mLFVY41RmtA Review of The Gingerdead Man The Gingerdead Man is representative of the highs and lows of exploitation horror films. If you’ve seen any Full Moon Feature, your expectations should be tempered, but if you are new to super low budget, straight to video horror films like this one, you might feel surprised at how shitty it is. If you are comparing it to anything that touches the theater, this movie is not going to compete on quality of writing, production quality, acting, directing, special effects, or anything related to the making of movies. However, what this movie and other Full Moon Features have is, every once in a while, there are some truly entertaining absurd, and even charming moments. The Bad Ok, so lets discuss the bad first. The writing and direction is borderline incomprehensible. Some of the very important plot points that seem like table stakes to show on camera, are just not there. It’s never quite explained that the killer’s mother exists other than being mentioned and seeing a witchy figure running away. We know that the mysterious figure dropped off gingerbread seasoning, and then we see them pouring in some gingerbread seasoning into a large container marked gingerbread seasoning and in the process bleed into it. By the ominous music, we are to understand that this is bad.  Now first of all, this displays a fundamental misunderstanding of how gingerbread dough is made, but also begs the question… what if the guy didn’t accidentally, and recklessness bleed into the dough? The answer is, shut up, do you want to see a Gingerdead Man or not? The acting quality varies wildly among the cast, which makes sense when you are only paying scale. There are some standouts, like Ryan Locke as Amos, which had some genuinely good delivery and timing on his lines, Larry Cedar as the nemesis restaurateur, and of course Gary Busey hamming it up. Unfortunately the film mostly dwells on the lead actress Robin Sydney, whos only direction was probably, “Be mopey”. The Good Now the good.  Gary Busey is great as the unhinged killer and as the voice of Gingerdead Man. Any time the Gingerdead Man is on screen is gold. Like genuinely enjoyably absurd. There is something about an evil, gross, super fake looking, foam latex puppet delivering menacing dialogue that is really entertaining. Just imagine if Triumph the insult comic dog starred in a slasher. That’s what we’re working with here. Overall, if you are looking for a low budget film to watch with friends to make fun of, this movie can be really enjoyable to experience.   Score 2/10 Confessions of a Puppetmaster Read Charles Band’s amazing, inspirational, and hilarious memoir Click here to buy The Gingerdead Man Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout.

We went and saw Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City, the reboot to the Resident Evil series, and I was pleasantly surprised by the total lack of Paul W.S. Anderson and Milla Jovovich. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q6UGCyHZCI&ab_channel=SonyPicturesEntertainment Synopsis Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City is the story of Raccoon City, a city built by the giant pharmaceutical megacorp, The Umbrella Corp.  For years Raccoon City has been home to The Umbrella Corp and now, Umbrella is leaving Raccoon City. This story takes place in a mostly deserted Raccoon City, where a skeleton crew has been left to pack up what’s left of the facility and anyone else in the city who was too poor to afford moving out. We soon learn why The Umbrella Corp is moving out of Raccoon city, and everyone gets more vaccinated zombies than they bargained for. Review Having seen a few of the other Resident Evil movies, I was dreading this watch. While the original movie is fun enough for what it is, the rest of these movies are the definition of what has been wrong with Hollywood for the last 20 years. Huge explosions with overcomplicated storylines that amount to the writers version of hacking a computer by violently mashing the keyboard incoherently. But Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City reboots this series down to it’s barebones. This was directed by Johannes Roberts, who also did 47 Meters Down: Uncaged and 47 Meters Down and he did what video game lovers have asked countless directors to do for over 25 years – he made a direct video game to film adaptation of the first three resident evil games.  Is it the best thing I’ve ever seen? No. Is it fun with some genuinely spooky and disturbing moments? Yep!  Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City takes a tired, fucked out franchise and returns it to it’s honest-to-God roots, and does it with some fun. The first two acts are genuinely interesting and scary, and had me bought in. The last act devolves into stereotypical big monster battles and explosions, but even some of that was pretty fun. Overall, this took the most disgustingly bad franchise I can think of and gave it a new lease on life. While it did lean heavily on the games for inspiration and iconic imagery, I think that’s a step in the right direction. Because what are we seeing a Resident Evil movie for if not to relive those moments in the games that made us gasp? Go ahead and real our blog by Leah on how Jill Valentine got screwed.  Watch Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City Buy it on Amazon Click here to Rent or Buy Score 6/10

As an early Christmas gift to our listeners, and thanks to everyone that got us to our goal of 100 patrons at Patreon.com/horrormovietalk, we are releasing our own commentary track for The Human Centipede. Just fire up your copy of the movie and press play when we tell you in the audio track to follow along.

Sometimes an anthology movie hits you just right. A Christmas Horror Story tells four tales of fright ranging from unnerving to dumb fun. It’s low budget, but enjoyable. Listen to our review. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. Synopsis In the fictional town of Bailey Downs, where the war on Christmas is won, because no one knows about popular hymns or bible verses related to the holiday, we are told 4 different holiday horror stories. Santa fights off zombie elves, a family full of assholes inadvertently summons Krampus, a cops family finds a changeling, and a group of teens learn the Scooby doo’s and Scooby Don’ts of ghost hunting. There is also a radio host played by William Shatner that has almost nothing to do with anything. https://youtu.be/7Z3ybMTpqFw Review of A Christmas Horror Story A Christmas Horror Story is an anthology horror movie done right. It takes stories that could almost, but not quite be stretched into full length movies, and bundles them together in a thematic group of short films. The concepts, or gimmicks if you like, take front stage, and some minorly fleshed out characters are inserted into the action to act as fodder for our delight. The tales range from slightly disturbing, to truly unsettling, to goofy gory fun. I really enjoyed the ride. I think each story held its own and none felt redundant. My only real complaint is that my suspension of disbelief was affected by one or two “bith get out the house” moments, and a befuddling lack of christmas tradition knowledge by some of the characters. I think the Santa story edges out the other three as the most enjoyable, mostly because you get to hear Santa mournfully call out ridiculous elf names as he has to fight them off. Sparkles no!!! Score 8/10 A Christmas Horror Story Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout. Get a 30 day free trial at Shudder.com when you use the code HMT at checkout.

We watched The Number 23 and I was barely able to stay awake through this portrayal of the dark, end times of The Truman Show. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/TUTlOC4mVQ8 Synopsis The Number 23 can be found for rent on most major platforms right now. The Number 23 is the story of Walter Sparrow who becomes obsessed with a book that seems to have deep connections with his life. As he reads the novel, he begins to see clues that it may tie into the real world. As Walter dives down this rabbit hole, he becomes obsessed with the obsession of the protagonist of the novel – the number 23. Will Walter be able to hold on to his sanity, or will he suffer the same fate as the man in the book? Review I find it hard to review The Number 23 because it’s so forgettable and boring throughout with such a silly premise that I just can’t take it seriously.  It’s directed by Joel Schumacher and stars Jim Carrey and it’s exactly what you would expect that pairing of fellas would produce.  If you aren’t familiar with numerology and the mental gymnastics that it takes to believe any of that bullshit, this movie will catch you up quite well. Just don’t expect to be interested or enlightened. Between Walter’s real life and the life he delves into while reading his book, you would think one of them would be interesting.  The over-saturation of the film while we experience what Walter reads is annoying but why stop there? The constant adding and subtracting of seemingly symbolic numbers to achieve the number 23 falls so flat in what it tries to achieve that I can only laugh. The stakes are supposed to hinge on these coincidences in the number 23, but even the dimmest bulb will find them to be a stretch. The twists and turns of the end arise as quickly as they are doused, and the final reveal happens with 20 minutes left in the movie, leaving the remaining 20 minutes to clumsily mop up the pieces. It kind of bums me out because it’s probably the only Jim Carrey movie that we will ever get to review, unless The Cable Guy could somehow be considered horror. If you are looking for a crazy thriller, please try The Invitation, The House That Jack Built, or Ready or Not over The Number 23. Watch The Number 23 Watch on Amazon Click here to Watch Score 2/10 Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout. Get 20% off your appointment for a soothing sound bath and tarot reading by entering code HMT at BloomingWand.com

It’s really the grade-schooler level diagrams that really sell it for me. This week we review one of my favorites, and I’m still not sure what that says about me. Join us on our break down of The Human Centipede. Synopsis The Human Centipede is about a centipede made out of humans. I mean it’s right there in the title, I don’t think that’s a spoiler. A mad German surgeon who’s specialty is the separation of Siamese twins decides to go in a different direction when he kidnaps a couple of American tourists who show up at his door.   https://youtu.be/glfBurdSUS8 Review of The Human Centipede (First Sequence) This movie exists in a world of it’s own. I think Roger Ebert said it best: “I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film. Is the movie good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and occupies a world where the stars don’t shine.” Roger Ebert I’ll disagree and say that this film is great. It’s one of my favorite horror movies because of the absolute unflinching commitment to a ridiculous premise, while just barely betraying itself with subtle touches of dark dark humor. At walks the razors edge of storytelling and utter depravity.  It’s a movie that you only need to watch once, because it is going to stick with you. Score 10/10 The Human Centipede Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout. Get a 30 day free trial at Shudder.com when you use the code HMT at checkout.

This was a really interesting movie that Bryce loved and David was ambivalent about. If you want to gain access to the full review, head over to patreon.com/horrormovietalk and sign up for the We All Spoop for Ice Spoop tier. That get’s you access to: The Afterpods Early Access to all reviews The Ability to vote for 1 movie a month for us to watch Thank you card loaded with stickers

We watched Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin on Paramount+ and I am so pleased with the fresh breath of quality that it has brought to this flailing franchise. While the activity is mostly not paranormal, it ain’t normal, and that’s good enough for me! @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/cyrhAScX80k Synopsis Margot is a young woman who was abandoned by her mother at a hospital as a baby. She heads to the Amish countryside to reconnect with the family that she 23 and me claims she came from.  She brings Chris and Dale with her to shoot a documentary that will follow her journey to reconnect with the community that she was torn from at such a young age. As Margot and her small crew are reluctantly welcomed by the Amish, they begin to notice that certain activities are going on across the spacious countryside – paranormal activities. Review Directed by William Eubank who also directed Underwater, Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin brings the franchise back from the brink and gives it a kick in the old pantaloons. While it doesn’t carry on with the same content that we came to love in Paranormal Activity 1-3, it does have a solid premise, a great setting, and some decent scares. Mostly, I’m just thrilled to death that Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin was entertaining and well-done. There was a simple mystery placed before me, and plenty of twists and turns to keep me enthralled. While the subject matter is a bit different than the previous installments, it was still consistent and interesting.  When I think of the Paranormal Activity series, the first three are top tier. But 4-6 get hung up on goofy camera hijinks, played out tropes, and throw away acting and directing choices. Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin stands on it’s own two demon haunches and manages to be an original installment worth watching.  Watch Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin Watch on Amazon Click here to Watch Score 8/10 Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout. Get 20% off your appointment for a soothing sound bath and tarot reading by entering code HMT at BloomingWand.com

If you mess with the Wendigo, you get the antlers… Synopsis Antlers tells the story of meth cookers inadvertently disturbing an ancient evil, and the middle school teacher and student that suffer the consequences. Keri Russel stars as Julia Meadows, who has returned home to begin her first year as a middle school teacher. While dealing with trauma and guilt surrounding her childhood, she notices a student displaying signs of trauma. Jeremy Thomas plays Lucas Weaver,  the young boy that resembles a Tim Burton sketch. He is hiding the secret of his sick father and brother in his attic, who he is taking care of. Their sickness makes his father a rage filled, ravenous monster, and this is problematic for young Lucas. https://youtu.be/ng5eyOfL8qM Review of Antlers In the marketing, it heavily pushes Guiermo Del Toro’s name, but he only produced, and it was actually directed by Scott Cooper, who has mainly directed dramas before, such as Crazy Heart and Black Mass. It shows here, because the drama and internal world of the characters is front and center throughout most of the film. It turns what could be just a special effects demonstration monster movie into an actual story with stakes. I was looking forward to this movie. I wouldn’t say I had high expectations, but it definitely piqued my interest. The trailers show very little, but really sell the movie based on the performance of Jeremy Thomas. Out of all the new releases this year that I was looking forward to, this is the only one that actually delivered. This is a compelling and emotionally complex film, but it also has some of the year’s best gore and jump scares. I highly recommend it. Score 8/10 Pan’s Labyrinth The Criterion Collection Add it to your collection or rent it now. Click here to buy Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout. Get 20% off your appointment for a soothing sound bath and tarot reading by entering code HMT at BloomingWand.com