The Numinous Podcast

This episode features my very special guest, Alysha! She's here for her third work-stay on the land, learning construction skills as she helps my husband, Ruben, build a livestock shelter. Alysha has been an amazing role model, resource, and thought partner for me around anti-colonialism for many years. Once again, here she is, advancing my thinking on the subject. Come grapple with us as we do morning horse chores! I know that as a settler, a Land Acknowledgement isn't for me. But as a participant in settler colonialism, it is about me in a way, and it does impact me in that it has been and continues to be  a learning process. I hope that, since we're trying to have a holistic, nuanced, and relational conversation about Land Acknowledgements, I'll be forgiven for saying that I believe having moral ambition benefits me by improving my self-esteem. I believe awkward participation in Land Acknowledgements is a pro-social, collective good. I don't know where the line is where it becomes a social detriment or we become numb to it, but I do think it's important they are not limited to formal events and those involving people who move the levers of institutional power. Again, this process is of course not about making me, as a settler, feel good. But it does make me feel a lot of things, and not all of them are bad. UPDATE March 26, 2026: I'm realizing that I threw the term "moral ambition" out into the conversation via the show notes and it perhaps lands a bit out of context. I recently published an episode, TNP306 {Dispatch: Jan 30, 2026} Lively v. Baldoni, Avoidant Attachment, and Moral Ambition, in which I grapple with, and ultimately endorse, that concept. The way I feel it relates here is that I tend to think that the way we ought to address numbness to the challenges of life is not to curtail our engagement but rather to become more present, to cultivate more maturity (emotional and spiritual), to stick with the trouble. There is a risk we fail, but it's honourable to try. And that's all I have to say about that. 😅 Note: Dispatch episodes are recorded en plein air with all the sounds of farm life and chores in the background, (and sometimes a bit loud). We tried not to sniff too much but it was a cold morning, and sometimes the feed bags make a big tarp-in-the-wind-like sound. If auditory sensitivity is part of your experience, please consult your podcast player for a transcript. With gratitude for the article of note to the writer, Khelsilem: Understanding the Purpose, Limits, and Misuse of "Land Acknowledgements": On symbolism, substance, and the limits of public ritual ✨ Sign up for my newsletter to receive the reminder for Free April: Celebrating the 5th Anniversary of The Numinous Network  

Today we're engaging in thought partnership around critical impact ratings, mental models, and reaching for what we care about in a risk assessment framework. Note: Dispatch episodes are recorded while I'm doing farm chores and feeding the horses in the morning, so people with sensory processing challenges may not find this episode enjoyable. In this episode I'm walking in snow, jostling with metal chains, shovelling hay and packing it into hay nets. Lots of background sounds! Apologies for that – please check your podcast player for a transcript. Referenced in this episode: Born to Run, by Bruce Springsteen (book/autobiography) So Sinopoulous Lloyd of Queer Nature who appeared on ep.93 of this podcast The actual 2025 StatsCan data on small business longevity in Canada: About 22% of small businesses fail in the first year and only 50% survive after five years. Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why, by Laurence Gonzales (Major trigger warning: Story after story of smart, well-equipped, experienced people dying by accident because this is actually really common) ✨✨✨ Join us in The Numinous Network Sign up for my newsletter

This episode is actually only 24 minutes long if you subtract all the parts with me managing the fact that the horses broke the fence and got stuck in a pasture they're not supposed to be in. Skip forward to minutes 9:30 - 35:00 to hear about what we can learn from 1970s China about navigating dictatorship and collapse and orienting to a more collectivist world. Note: I record dispatch episodes while doing my horse chores in the morning so there's lots of background noise that folks with certain sensory processing issues may not appreciate. In this episode you'll hear rain, my laboured breathing, the metal bin opening and closing, scooping and pouring out feed (beet pellets), plastic bags rustling, horses chewing...I also speak with some pretty stern vocal prosody when the horses try to push me or get too assertive mouthing me. This may be slightly startling since you have no visual cues to anticipate I might do that and you might be used to me having a more soothing speaking voice – you're not the one trying to bite me, though, so it's all good! Please check your podcast player for a transcript option if this doesn't work for you.  In this episode I reference: Barefoot Doctors and Western Medicine in China, by Xioping Fang my Facilitation Training (next Level 1 intake will be Fall 2026)  

This is an episode about Past Life Regression but... CW: This may be a tough one to listen to (or a validating one, depending on your situation) because I'm sharing some high-level details about my history of sexual trauma. Non-specific mentions of sexual assault, alcohol abuse, and a bunch of patriarchal bullshit. I've kept it pretty non-specific, but if you care about me, it may be hard to hear.  Please note: If you don't want to hear the background trauma history that motivated this regression work, please pause at minute 30:00 and skip ahead to minute 41:00.  It's not lost on me that I, and many others in my orbit, are having lots of emotional material arise in the wake of the release of the Epstein files. If it feels good to be "in it" with me, great. If you're at capacity, then give this one a pass or take it in small doses. I'm not going into detail, and it's woven in with other related information about trancework, past lives, autoimmunity and dysautonomia symptoms, but please exercise caution and care. Please listen while you're tasking so you can easily zone out of parts that you relate to a little too much ❤️‍🩹 🫂   Note: Dispatch episodes are recorded while I'm doing farm chores and feeding the horses in the morning, so people with sensory processing challenges may not find this episode enjoyable. In this episode I'm walking in snow, jostling with metal chains, shovelling hay and packing it into hay nets. Lots of background sounds! Apologies for that – please check your podcast player for a transcript.   Let me tell you about the past life regression I experienced last night! One of my students needed a practice buddy to be their "client". It gave me clarity around some triggers I have that I really must take more seriously as they have serious health ramifications for me. (The rammies 😫 Can't forget about the rammies, bro.) In this episode, I reference: • my Trancework Practitioner Mini Certificate • my Facilitation Training • sign up for my newsletter (I'll keep you posted about future trainings!) • the seminal research of Dr.Ian Stevenson • Dr.Jim Tucker, The University of Virginia School of Medicine, Division of Perceptual Studies • Carol Bowman and her kids on the Oprah Winfrey Show talking about children's spontaneous past life recall • underlying causes of autoimmunity and dysautonomia • bell hooks' quote from her book, The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love (2004), “The first act of violence that patriarchy demands of males is not violence toward women. Instead patriarchy demands of all males that they engage in acts of psychic self-mutilation, that they kill off the emotional parts of themselves. If an individual is not successful in emotionally crippling himself, he can count on patriarchal men to enact rituals of power that will assault his self-esteem.” ✨ Join us in The Numinous Network for affordable, accessible, on-going support and Contact Nutrition.

This dispatch is a response to a lovely listener's question about how to avoid being bullied by those who respond to moral integrity with aggression. Note: Dispatch episodes are recorded extemporaneously during the morning feed of the horses, (Beau, Skaha, and Reverie). If background noises, or me sniffing, or scooping beet pulp pellets, or moving buckets around, or filling hay nets, or walking in mud are irritating sounds, these episodes may not be pleasurable for you. Please see your podcast player for transcript options! Learn more about the Lewis Method of Deep Democracy, a facilitation method that emerged in post-apartheid South Africa, aspiring to support social integration by getting to the root of harm, resentment, grievance, and vengeance in large collectives, communities and organizations. Myrna Lewis was was present and actively involved in holding space at the Civic Dialogue that Ruben and I attended. Here is a short video about the Civic Dialogue we attended that day. (Catch a glimpse of me and Ruben at 1:25, back row to the left of Sera, (speaker/co-facilitator), where our body language speaks volumes about how convinced we were that hope was the key driver of social/environmental change. 😂) The facilitator I speak of, the marvellous Aftab Erfan, has been on the podcast a couple of times. ✨ If you like the topic of this episode, you may find comfort and support in The Numinous Network, both the live calls such as Attachment Jams and Contact Nutrition Drop-Ins, as well as the on-demand video courses like Contact Nutrition 101, and Secure: The Magical Art and Subtle Science of Attachment.  

Note: If you don't like the background noise of feeding horses, (opening plastic bags, pouring water, stirring, packing hay nets in a metal bin, belaboured breathing), then Dispatches are not the episodes for you. Sorry! Please see your podcast player for transcript options. Here are my hot takes and broad strokes thinking on the Blake Lively v. Justin Baldoni, Jamie Heath, and Wayfarer Parties lawsuit, and how it intersects with: • avoidant attachment tendencies • profound shame • patriarchy, misogyny, and pick-up artist culture • contempt for religious minorities I also share what I know off the top of my head, and from personal experiences in my youth, about the Bahá'í faith. Please do your own research into Bahá'í principles and its founder, Bahá'u'lláh, for a more correct and precise accounting. Same with the Quakers: I meant what I said, I'm a bad Quaker and should not be trusted as a role model or information source! 😂 I have enjoyed this little book by anarchist-turned-Quaker-turned-professor-of-Quaker-practice, Ben Pink Dandelion, if you're seriously curious about understanding the diversity of Quaker faith and practice worldwide. To understand the fascinating legal maneuverings behind the Lively v. Baldoni case, I recommend the podcast Allegedly Golden podcast. ✨ Join us for Imbolc in The Numinous Network.

This dispatch covers some far-reaching terrain, from Clarissa Pinkola Estes to Luigi Mangione, from horse hoof trimming to the Harvard Law Review, from elderhood to eccentricity, imagination, and a triumphant orientation to life. Content Note: If you don't like the background noise of feeding horses, (opening plastic bags, pouring water, stirring, packing hay nets in a metal bin, belaboured breathing), then these are not the episodes for you. Sorry! Please see your podcast player for transcript options. Content Note 2: Mentions of political violence, state violence, sexual violence, and incarceration.   Referenced in this episode: How to be an Elder, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes (I believe this is the lecture I was referring to – it's been a literal decade since I listened but it's the only one in my audio library of hers that references elderhood, so I think this must be it!) The Dangerous Few: Taking Seriously Prison Abolition and its Skeptics, by Thomas Ward Frampton, Associate Professor, University of Virginia ✨ Join us in The Numinous Network for our Wheel of the Year observance for Imbolc on Sunday, Feb 1, 2026. We will be invoking the healing power of Brigid and her blessings, asking for her to make sacred our clooties (prayer cloth), a talismanic expression of Brigid's mantle. This simple ritual will feature an extended trance journey to receive Brigid's healing.  

Dispatch episodes are short and off the cuff, recorded while I'm doing horse chores. If sensory inputs like crunching hay, chewing animals, or occasionally laboured breathing and sniffles aggravate you, this episode may not be for you! Please see your podcast player for transcript options. In this episode, I talk about the deeply rooted defaults of Eldest Daughter Syndrome and how being heard and truly seen utterly breaks me. Referenced in this episode: TNP301 Muted by Maximalism: A Study in Power Analysis Not referenced, but related: TNP233 Understanding Moral Injury with Dr.Robyn Walser Follow me on Instagram for my Saturday meme train   Join us in The Numinous Network

Thoughts on William Morris, enshitification, and seeking friction. Correction: William Morris wallpaper was actually block printed, not silkscreened as I said in this episode. Seeing how it was produced actually made me cry, it's so beautiful and care-full. Watch how it was made!   Note: If you have certain sensory processing issues involving background noises like hay nets being stuffed, or horses chewing, or roosters crowing in the background, then my Dispatch episodes may not be to your liking. My apologies! Please consult your podcast player app for a transcript alternative.   Referenced in this Episode Morris & Co, UK William Morris and The Socialist League Some original block printed wallpapers and their backstories in the William Morris Gallery Arts and Crafts design elements from my old office in Victoria, BC The term "enshitification" was coined by Cory Doctorow Empire of AI, by Karen Hao Ben Affleck is sick of life   ✨   Learn more about The Numinous Network   ✨   Purchase my books: The Spirited Kitchen: Recipes and Rituals for the Wheel of the Year Spells for the Apocalypse: Practical Magic for Turbulent Times  

{Dispatch} I'm experimenting with a new, more candid format for shorter episodes called "dispatches" where I share the thoughts I have while I'm out feeding the horses. This is my first one! 🎉 I will try to make them 15 minutes or less. (Apologies in advance if they go longer because of my rambling thought trains.) They will be about current events and interpersonal issues...probably a lot of them will be about Contact Nutrition.   Content Note: If you don't like the background noise of feeding horses, (opening plastic bags, pouring water, stirring, packing hay nets in a metal bin, belaboured breathing), then these are not the episodes for you. Sorry! Please see your podcast player for transcript options.