WTF is on my Mind?!

In Part One, we met Jacqueline Graham, a Canadian mother of three, a lifelong spiritual seeker, and the woman who would become Bentinho Massaro's girlfriend. We watched her get drawn in: the love bombing, the pedestaling, the first cruelties, the money handed over in Panama. This episode is about what happened after she decided to go all in."All In" covers the full arc of Jacqueline's time inside: the financial coercion, the manipulation tactics, a letter she was asked to sign at a monastery in the Netherlands that she probably shouldn't have, a night in Vegas she describes as one of the most degrading experiences of her life, and the slow, painful collapse that finally led her out. It ends with the two words she sent to a woman she'd never met, whose story turned out to be her own story.Throughout this episode I've woven narration in and out of Jacqueline's account, trying to give the listener the psychological scaffolding to understand what they're hearing. Not just what happened, but why it makes sense that it happened, and why the people it happened to are not the ones who should carry the shame of it. We get into betrayal blindness and DARVO, two concepts developed by psychologist Dr. Jennifer Freyd that turn out to be an almost perfect description of how organizations like this one operate. We talk about shame -- how it's manufactured, how it's weaponized, and how it keeps people silent long after they've left. And we talk about what actually helps: connection, comparison of notes, and the decision not to hide.Jacqueline broke a significant six-figure NDA to tell this story. She did it anyway. Because she felt she had no choice.Support the showThe views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicenteWebsite: www.markvicente.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/X: https://x.com/markvicenteTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicenteFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

I've seen this before. Not something like this. Not a similar version of this. This. The same playbook. The same psychological architecture. Just a different face.For the video version of this podcast, head over to Youtube.My name is Mark Vicente. I'm a filmmaker and a former member of NXIVM, the cult run by Keith Raniere, who is currently serving 120 years in federal prison. I was one of the whistleblowers who helped bring that organization down. That experience was chronicled in The Vow on HBO.This is Inst@Guru, a new investigative podcast series going inside the world of Bentinho Massaro. Dutch. Blonde. Blue-eyed. Charming. Self-proclaimed enlightened being. Claims his penis has healing properties. Claims he's going to awaken civilization by 2035. Believes he's Ra, an extraterrestrial being in human form, here to correct a cosmic mistake.He still has followers. He launched a new app in 2025. The machine is still running.At the center of this series are three people who were inside his world, some of them deep inside, some of them for years. They call themselves the Three Amigos. Their names are Jacqueline Graham, Keilan McNeil, and Jade Alectra. All three broke their NDAs, agreements carrying significant six-figure penalty clauses, because they felt they had no choice.I believe them.In this episode, Jacqueline Graham tells her story from the beginning. Not from Bentinho... from herself. From who she was before any of this: a Canadian mother of three, a raw vegan restaurateur, a lifelong spiritual seeker who genuinely wanted to understand the deeper nature of reality. She found Bentinho on YouTube in 2013. By 2019, she was his girlfriend. By 2020, he had taken hundreds of thousands of dollars of her money.This episode covers how it started. The teachings. The retreat in the Netherlands. The moment she watched the women around him fall apart and told herself: "I wouldn't act like that." The love bombing. The pedestalling. The first withdrawal. And the decision, standing in a hotel room in Panama after $80,000 had vanished overnight, that she was never going to doubt him again.That decision is where Episode 1 ends. It is not where the story ends.Bentinho Massaro, the invitation remains. Talk to me. Publicly. CAST OF CHARACTERS link coming soon.Want to go deeper? Join the Patreon community, people who understand this world, who engage with the work as it's being made, and who get behind-the-scenes access, early information, and invites to special screenings. Link below.Support the showThe views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicenteWebsite: www.markvicente.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/X: https://x.com/markvicenteTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicenteFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

THIS IS PART 2. In Part 1, I sat down with Margot Lane and Mara Moon - two former bandmates of Corey Feldman's Corey's Angels -  to hear how they were drawn in: the love bombing, the false promises, the body shaming, and the slow erosion of their boundaries. If you haven't seen Part 1 yet, go there first.Part 2 is where things escalate. On tour, the abuse ramps up: sleep deprivation, no bed, drug use, coerced sexual situations, and a moment of witnessing another woman being abused that became the breaking point. We also get into the NDA, Margot's labor board victory, what role Courtney played in the abuse of other women, and what Margot and Mara think is really driving Corey Feldman's behavior.We close with something genuinely useful: their advice to anyone who might find themselves in a similar situation. Document everything. Get out. Get therapy. Find your support system.The patterns these women describe are the same ones that show up in coercive control situations again and again. This story matters.Watch Corey Feldman vs. The World before listening - it will make this conversation much more meaningful.https://tv.apple.com/us/movie/corey-feldman-vs-the-world/umc.cmc.638hs9xgsfcmdcgkyn7s7m51uNarcissist's Playbook - watch the trailer at http://www.narcissistsplaybook.comSupport the showThe views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicenteWebsite: www.markvicente.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/X: https://x.com/markvicenteTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicenteFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

In this first part of a two-part episode, I sit down with Margot Lane and Mara Moon; two former bandmates of Corey Feldman who were part of his group, 'Corey's Angels'. Both women were subjects of the documentary film Corey Feldman vs. The World, directed by Marcie Hume, whom I interviewed in a previous episode.Margot and Mara share how they were each drawn into Feldman's world,  lured by promises of a music career, financial stability, and a fresh start, and what they found once they arrived. From body shaming and food restriction to controlled movement and psychological manipulation, their stories reveal a deeply troubling pattern that will be familiar to anyone who has studied or experienced coercive control.I also address the apparent PR campaign working to silence those who speak out...  and explain why silencing people almost always has the opposite effect.This is Part 1. Part 2 drops next week.Watch Corey Feldman vs. The World before listening — it will make this conversation much more meaningful.https://tv.apple.com/us/movie/corey-feldman-vs-the-world/umc.cmc.638hs9xgsfcmdcgkyn7s7m51uNarcissist's Playbook — watch the trailer at www.narcissistsplaybook.com00:00 Cold Open – Mara's Warning00:22 Introduction & Context01:00 The PR Silencing Campaign02:00 Does Abuse Justify Abuse? The Streisand Effect03:34 Why This Story Matters04:02 Who Were Margot and Mara Before?06:43 Why They Said Yes — The Promise of Opportunity08:18 Entering Corey's World – First Impressions09:50 Red Flags Begin – Food, Body Shaming & Control13:24 How It Felt to Be Targeted15:17 Margot's Experience – Boundaries Under Fire19:18 Patreon Cult Series Announcement20:16 How They Were Hooked Through Their Art22:24 Love Bombing & Flattery23:45 The Polyamory Dynamic25:13 Sexual Undertones & Coercion28:32 The NDA, The Club & What Happened Next38:02 End of Part 1 – See You Next WeekSupport the showThe views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicenteWebsite: www.markvicente.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/X: https://x.com/markvicenteTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicenteFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

Africa Brooke and I did an Instagram Live right after the Epstein files dropped, and we didn't hold back. Africa is one of my closest friends, one of the most honest thinkers I know, and someone who has never been afraid to ask the questions most people would rather avoid.We talked about evil... why good people struggle to recognize it, why they keep making excuses for it, and what it costs us when we do. We talked about the psychology of narcissists and psychopaths, why they need us more than we realize, and what it actually means to stop being their fuel. We went into the spiritual dimension of what's happening, the importance of protecting your nervous system without dissociating from reality, and what it looks like to find your center when everything around you is designed to destabilize you.My film is Narcissist Playbook. https://www.narcissistsplaybook.com/https://africabrooke.com/https://www.instagram.com/africabrooke/00:00 Welcome, and why this conversation matters9:10 NXIVM, waking up from a cult, and the obsession that followed14:00 Interviewing self-confessed narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths20:00 We are being psychologically operated on... and how to recognize it26:15 Why they need our fear, and what it means that we can starve them34:25 Locus of control... pulling yourself back inward43:00 Stop looking to mommy and daddy government to fix what they created53:35 How Africa and I met in Lisbon, and why I became a filmmaker1:06:00 Don't dissociate... let your heart be broken and filled1:16:00 Is it unethical to bring children into this world?1:26:50 Sovereignty, initiation, and finding the grit inside yourself1:36:40 Looking for omnipresent love in the creations instead of the creatorSupport the showThe views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicenteWebsite: www.markvicente.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/X: https://x.com/markvicenteTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicenteFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

She watches up to fourteen documentaries a week! Not for school. Not for work. Because she’s obsessed.In this episode of WTF Is On My Mind?, I sit down with Christie Boschman, known online as That Documentary Girl. Her platform has grown to over 4.5 million followers because she does one thing exceptionally well. She talks about documentaries with real passion.But this is not just a conversation about movies.We get into why audiences are drawn to dark stories, the psychology behind cult and crime narratives, the disturbing patterns around Epstein and powerful men protecting each other, and why so many great independent documentaries struggle to find distribution.Christie watches up to fourteen documentaries a week. She has become a bridge between indie filmmakers and the public, helping projects go viral and, in some cases, helping them secure distribution.NARCISSIST'S PLAYBOOK TRAILERWe also discuss:• Why dark stories travel faster than hopeful ones• The ethics of covering trauma and predatory behavior• Narcissism and how predators operate• Online backlash and the psychology of keyboard warriors• Why streaming platforms play it safe• Whether social media is becoming the new proof of concept for truth00:00 The reel that sparked this conversation02:05 Falling in love with documentaries and Sharkwater05:15 Why making documentaries is brutal07:50 The documentary industry is struggling10:15 Why dark stories perform online12:40 Watching darkness without losing yourself15:30 Epstein, power circles, and why people look away21:10 Kumare and how cult leaders are made23:00 Adrenaline documentaries and survival stories27:00 Why great indie docs can’t find distribution31:30 Going viral and building a platform from obsession34:45 Online backlash and calling out bad behavior38:20 Unauthorized documentaries and controversy45:00 The Narcissist’s Playbook47:00 Stutz and the power of the twist51:45 Christie’s family documentary and The Honey Children56:00 Why documentaries deserve to be seen59:00 Finding awe and the antidote to cynicismFilms and series mentioned in this episode:The VowWhat the Bleep Do We Know?SharkwaterKumareFilthy RichCorey Feldman vs. The WorldPeter Nygård: UnseenAllen v. FarrowThe Deepest BreathThe Last BreathTouching the VoidI Shouldn’t Be AliveFree SoloThe AlpinistThe Final MemberBeyond UtopiaMaya and the Wave https://youtu.be/44ElZ_dqgMA?si=qBAh18a3eWsd2a1FNorman & NormanStutzBetween the Mountain and the Sky Support the showThe views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicenteWebsite: www.markvicente.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/X: https://x.com/markvicenteTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicenteFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

If you’re deeply committed to ideological purity or easily offended by nuance, this episode may be uncomfortable. And honestly, that might be the point. But if you’re a freethinker; someone who values truth over trend and curiosity over conformity, you’re going to have a great time.Dr. Chloe Carmichael is a clinical psychologist and the bestselling author of Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety. Her new book, “Can I Say That? Why Free Speech Matters and How to Use It Fearlessly”, dives deep into the psychological impact of censorship, not just on public discourse, but on our internal lives, relationships, and mental health.In this conversation, we explore the emotional toll of self-censorship and how it quietly erodes authentic connection. We talk about the confusion between emotional discomfort and actual harm, and how that confusion is being used to justify silence. Dr. Chloe sheds light on how universities became epicenters of groupthink, and why we’re seeing a generation increasingly afraid of free thought. We discuss impression management, fragile egos, and the false selves people construct just to survive in today’s ideological climate. And yes, we even ask whether what we’re witnessing amounts to a kind of mass psychological regression.Nothing is off the table,  and that’s exactly the point.CONNECT WITH DR. CHLOEhttps://www.drchloe.comhttps://www.freespeechtoday.comCan I Say That? – Available wherever books are soldSupport the showThe views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicenteWebsite: www.markvicente.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/X: https://x.com/markvicenteTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicenteFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

Psychological abuse, narcissistic abuse, and gaslighting can completely distort your sense of reality and self-trust.In this episode, I talk with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman about what survivors actually experience after emotional and psychological abuse—and how they begin to heal.https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/We focus on reclaiming identity, rebuilding trust, and why “just get over it” is one of the most damaging things you can say to survivors.This is my second conversation with Dr. Z. In our first episode, we spent a lot of time exploring the mind of the narcissist. This time, I wanted to shift the focus entirely to survivors.When you’ve been psychologically abused or coercively controlled, the damage doesn’t end when the relationship ends. Reality can feel unstable. Your sense of self can collapse. Shame, self-blame, anger, and confusion can take over—and many people are left wondering if something is wrong with them.In this conversation, we talk about what actually happens to a person after psychological abuse, why survivors often feel disconnected from reality, and how people slowly begin to reclaim their inner compass, safety, and identity.We explore: • Why survivors feel “crazy” (and why they’re not) • How abuse trains self-doubt and hyper-self-monitoring • Why shame, anger, and grief are necessary parts of healing • How to rebuild trust—starting with yourself • Why being told to “just get over it” is neurologically and psychologically wrongThis episode is for anyone who has lived through psychological or narcissistic abuse—or for anyone who wants to better understand what survivors are actually dealing with long after the abuse ends.Support the showThe views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicenteWebsite: www.markvicente.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/X: https://x.com/markvicenteTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicenteFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

I just watched the documentary Corey Feldman vs. the World and—holy S H I T. It’s hard to describe the experience. It’s messy, mesmerizing, disturbing, and somehow still deeply human.So I had to talk to the woman behind the lens.In this episode, I sit down with filmmaker Marcie Hume, who spent nearly a decade embedded in Corey Feldman’s chaotic world — documenting a surreal mix of abuse allegations, musical ambition, flirtation, fame addiction, and cult-like control. We talk about the tightrope she walked as a documentarian: holding space for multiple truths, resisting the urge to sensationalize, and making sense of contradictions that never fully resolve.What unfolds is a raw, deeply nuanced conversation about narcissism, power, fantasy, and the kinds of systems that flourish when people are desperate to belong.Is Corey a truth-teller? A coercive manipulator? A man still broken by what was done to him — and doing harm in return?This one doesn’t wrap up neatly. But that’s kind of the point.Watch the film: https://tv.apple.com/us/movie/corey-feldman-vs-the-world/umc.cmc.638hs9xgsfcmdcgkyn7s7m51uFollow Marcie: https://www.instagram.com/marciehumeLearn more: https://coreyfilm.com/Support the showThe views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicenteWebsite: www.markvicente.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/X: https://x.com/markvicenteTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicenteFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

Carina Eriksson is an international matchmaker and dating consultant with over 20 years of experience. She runs Atlas International, a boutique firm helping accomplished individuals build meaningful relationships through her signature approach called "relational agility." Carina is also one of my mentoring clients, and our conversations have opened my eyes to so much about the divide between men and women.In this episode, we dive deep into one of the most urgent issues of our time: the devastating divide between men and women. Online hatred is at an all-time high, misunderstanding is rampant, and people are struggling to connect. Carina breaks down the fundamental differences between men and women—from how our brains are wired (testosterone's singular focus vs. estrogen's diffuse awareness) to why we keep projecting our own nature onto each other. We explore why women think men are "misbehaving women" and men think women are "irrational garden gnomes," the damage caused by casual sex, what each gender actually needs from the other, and why happy couples are terrible for capitalism. This conversation challenges modern dating culture and offers real wisdom for anyone seeking genuine connection.Connect with Carina Eriksson: Email: info@loveatlas.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carinaeriksson/Support the showThe views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicenteWebsite: www.markvicente.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/X: https://x.com/markvicenteTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicenteFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/