The Mind Mate Podcast

Will Balme is a writer, a football player, an introspective and wise young man with a heart full of gold, and avid contributor to Thick and Thin which is a player led initiative primarily focusing on: Creating awareness of men's mental health within the VAFA - The Victorian Amateur Football Association. This is round 2 with Balmey on The Mind Mate Podcast.

“I yelled out (on repeat mind you), ‘GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!' Dad wasn't too sure what to do but, like I said, his presence was all I needed. For those of you lucky enough never to have experienced a panic attack, let me paint a picture. Panic attacks make you feel like the world is going to end. Every physical sensation is preparing you for the worst and you are stuck in a constant state of worry. Panic attacks represent the most severe manifestation of high anxiety and, evolutionarily speaking, when you experience one your mind thinks you are about to die. It is evolution's best answer for keeping you alive and safe. Everything is telling you to vacate the premises because 'everything' thinks you're in peril danger. This is why they are so fucking unbearable. This is why it is true bravery going against what your anxiety is telling you. In a way, you're facing death.” THIS WEEK WE HAVE ANOTHER CHAPTER FROM MY UPCOMING AUDIOBOOK - ‘YES I’M FINE, JUST TIRED’.  I was feeling generous and loved the feedback from last week’s episode so here’s chapter five, dearest mates.

This radical episode is very exciting for me to release! It is chapter four from my first book, 'Yes I'm Fine, Just Tired'. I am halfway through completing my audio book which should be available in under 15 days. This chapter, chapter 4 as you can already tell, is titled, "The most important moment in my life" and details my experiences with psychedelic mushrooms on Schoolies. Here is a snippet from the book. Enjoy mates!  "In terms of the actual trip itself, it wasn't the most insane I've heard of but considering the person I was back then and the repercussions that would befall me, it was a massive event. I was unaware how significant this experience was because I had no idea how dramatically my life would change in response to it. I now had a new heightened level of anxiety. I’d developed a phobia of being out of control. I succumbed to it after the whole experience yet I didn't realise that my general anxiety level had risen. I thought the experience was a one off and that would be that. In any case, it led me down a road of self discovery, new friendships and a more profound understanding of the struggles people face every day with various forms of mental health disorders. As a kid, I experienced worry and general slumps. We all did and still do today as adults. Nevertheless, the panic attacks that would follow and the OCD not yet considered; ghosts, stolen toys and mushrooms were only the beginning."

Sarah Florence is a weightlifter, CrossFitter, and founder of Mind Gold where she details and takes us along her journey in the physical and mental worlds; building the mindset of an athlete (something that can be formulated into all facets of life).  Sarah uses her story to help others but I think the best thing about her story is that she details it in a way purely to give back. There isn't any "me", "me", "me". She gives us the facts then speaks about what she learnt and how we can apply those lessons to our lives. We ALL have a story and the more we can reconcile the negative aspects of them—talking about them can help but there are many other ways too (meditation and solitude being some of those)—the more united we may become as a bunch of happy humans. This podcast has some really fantastic insights into the development of a mind that embraces the journey as opposed to the destination. The truth is, we are all going to die, we will never be fulfilled externally (can you beam with happiness by sitting along!?) and none of us have all the answers. I got heaps from chatting with Sarah. She's an absolute bloody legend, and someone who is exceptionally down to earth which is very inspiring for hairy old me over here. Enjoy the show mates!  

This week's episode is all about my lovely father! He taught me about anxiety, first and foremost, after having gone through it himself at a similar age. David is also an editor, an author having published 'Bid The Past Farewell' as well as having ghost written a major memoir.   We spoke at large about the growth of our relationship, culminating in a genuine friendship to which helps us both independently as well as interpersonally. There aren't too many people out there who can authentically describe their relationship with their parents as that of a 'friendship' but I can and I'm bloody grateful to give this podcast to you!   There are things in life we can only learn from experience—the majority I'd say. David shares his learnings from transcending mental health issues at a young age, and at a time when they were largely overlooked and considered mere "growing pains". He also shares his story about finding meaning in life and becoming a father. Enjoy! 

If you don't take anything else away from this podcast, just take this: The number one thing that has motivated James to continually improve as an individual is his daughter. James inspires me because, despite his relapses, his continuing fight stems from something (someone I should say) which gives him meaning; a reason to be alive and make a difference.   We have had two episodes in a row about addiction and James' message is just as strong as Tom's.  The "difficult truth" behind addiction is that we find peace and solitude in temporary comforts and pleasures because they help us escape the reality of our current situations. From this perspective, ADDICTION IS A SPECTRUM. Anything, be it, hard drugs like heroin down to the daily drink after a day's work can be an escape if we are finding it difficult to sit with our realities. Sometimes it's the thoughts, other times its the environment and people. If it's all three, the addiction can be worse.  Listen to James' story and have a think and see if any of this resonates with you. What do you find yourself doing, saying, behaving like consistently when certain factors are in place within your life. What are you trying to escape from? Can you do something about it?    You can find and subscribe to this podcast and all other Mind Mate podcasts in audio form via audio platforms including iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher etc.  Keep up to date with what's happening in my world through Instagram @tom.ahern or via my Facebook page /tom.ahern.life    Additionally, you can download a copy of my book 'Yes I'm fine, just tired' on kindle, audiobook or purchase a paperback copy through amazon by searching Tom Ahern and / or 'Yes I'm fine, just tired'.

“I started off on two and then, by like two years later I could go through the equivalent of like 80 in a day.” Tom Gill was a high school friend of mine and recently reached out as I have been looking into and attempting to resolve some addictions of my own. He told me that he had his own story and experiences with drug and alcohol addiction so I implored him to join me on the podcast. What followed was an incredibly powerful and, at many points, anxiety stricken show filled with valuable lessons for us all. Addiction is a spectrum and, as Russell Brand says—given the materialistic pursuits of the modern west—we are all somewhere along it. It is our responsibility to look inside ourselves and ask ourselves why we are, for example, watching porn frequently, drinking after work, purchasing a good deal of chocolate, eating to stomach pains and distracting ourselves when THAT thought arises. IF YOU EVER find yourself leaning on external support systems for internalised pain, this podcast may shed some light. When we lose meaning, support, connection and authenticity within our lives, we seek help but without education and self awareness, what we seek support from may hinder us greatly, let alone our development. Please listen to the show with an open mind and if you are currently moving through addiction issues, you are not alone and many organisations such as Beyond Blue truly can provide assistance. Enjoy the show.

The psychologist Dr. Jordan Peterson provides us with a really great insight into how the body and mind both deal with trauma and how we can consciously transcend our past experiences and fears by devising plans.

Lachlan Wallace is the founder of Virtus Performamce, a functional training, strength and conditioning gym on the Mornington Peninsula outside Melbourne, Australia. He currently hosts the Virtus Performance podcast, has co-founded a Gin business, is about to launch a mentoring program named 'True North' and has played over 50 games for Collingwood in their VFL team. Above all things, Lachy is an avid student of life. His office depicts that with the countless self-help books, motivational quotes, timetables, calendars, microphones and general positive energy! He is an authentic, inspiring fella and I was privileged to have him on the show this week. 

After an incredible experience, whereby a homeless person asked him "What will your gravestone say?", David Ji found himself amidst an existential crisis. He was living in New York at the time and, one week after the 9/11 Terrorist Attacks (to which he had resigned from his job in the World Trade Centers not long previously), found himself struggling with the bigger picture. "Why are we here?" These experiences led him to travel to India, connect with Deepak Chopra, become a meditation teacher (including, during his practice, meditating in caves for hours on end) and finally, becoming the man he is today. Dave is an incredibly down-to-earth fella, he's got a wicked sense of humour and truly believes in the value of "stillness" and "authenticity". He's got some great content out there including his books, his meditation teachings and his community on social media is hyper engaged an awesome! This is a highly valuable podcast with many takeaways. Enjoy!