Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

When you're sitting in a meeting it's nice when someone brings you a coffee or farts loudly in to a microphone. It's funny. It just is. What's not funny? Stepping in dog doo-doo at 4:30 in the AM, tracking it into bed and then realizing your sleeping in poo. It's awful. We got that new fire for you (hip kid slang) and we break down the "secret enemy." Is there one in your life?Grandma has pipes and sings about that Coco and a black dude yells a LOT at a white dude to wipe that s**t down (his car). Plus Tina's voicemails are getting crazier and we think we have a plausible theory about them. We also play a classic bit from an oldie but goodie. Can you believe Tina takes Brown in to the shower?!?!?!?! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You should make stuff and then, cause you're good at stuff, you can sell that stuff or plant a vegetable tree. Also, food is good. Jeans, you need to read. It's helpful for your mind to grow and also to expand your vocabulary so that you don't sound like such a dumbs**t. We have reviews for the REAL MAN from the Mommies and these joints are on FLEEK!Plus Tina peed a frightening color. Was it murder?! When Tom/Mom posts a fart video do you realize how arrogant you have to be to question its authenticity. We clear the air (well, we cloud it first). If you think Dad Mouth is bad, wait til you smell what Mom's got cookin in her den. (It's pretty greezy). And a new phone number is full of mysterious messages. Give em a listen! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Powerful.Today we wear our strength jeans as the leader in podcasting/comedy/fitness and fighting, our Godfather, Joe Rogan finally joins the Moms.We hit it all: The philosophy behind giving, farting, teeth, Tom or Black and what it takes to become A REAL MAN.Joe weighs in on it all, from Biggie vs Beatles to the OG Would You Rather. This is an episode you're going to love and wear around as you collect denim for the long winter.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sweet, loving, kissy-faced jeans. That's what those Valentimes are all about. We brought our love to the Ice House for a live episode with a fiery, sexy crowd. This was honestly one of the best times we've ever had live. It's like all our collective jeans are getting tighter. We give you the goods here, Chocolate anuses, brows on fleek, all kinds of words that the kids are saying now. Plus we have a sing-along and an orignal song debuts! We got dad jokes and sex sounds and a whole lot more. We love you, Jeans. We really do.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey there dirty jeans! Wipe your face cause it's covered in vaginal juices and secretions. If you have OCD we hope you get better, but in the mean time we'll laugh at you. Tina has brows on Fleek! Peep them all at Damone Roberts. Plus Tommy is breaking down. Can you make that dude rest?You thought XXplosive was a crazy track? Check out this Too Short classic. We got Brown Talk, Vocal Fry, White Big Words, Plies Talk and more!Wash your filthy jeans, will you!?! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You figure it out.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Big. Dumb. Animal. Those words don't just describe our guest Matt Braunger perfectly. They're also the name of his new 1 hour special (but without the periods). Always welcome inside the Mommy Dome, Braunger is like a son to us. We not only talk about his big special we cover the hidden C**T in Harry Potter (Tommy found it), and what in the world Plies was talking about, Ya feel me? This episode is just like hanging out in the bathroom with your buddy. You're gonna love it. Who won the last Fill Her Up? We have results! And this edition of Tom or White is pure White Knowledge testing - how much do you know!?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mind if we burp? After Chipotle? And suckin stuff?Well we've got that and more for you. Here's something we'd like to know - what exactly is Plies saying? We try to solve the mysteries of this modern day philosopher. Plus does a communist from a small island have the tools to identify a sex toy? We have differing opinions on this one. Will you side with the right Mommy!?Maybe if you're having troubles motivating yourself you keep it to yourself OR just go ahead and post every day how everyone is out to get you and everything is a battle and FIGHT! Fight things and people that aren't even there. That seems awfully stable of you. You have the Jeans, you just gotta learn how to wear them.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

J-J-J-J-Jeans Unit!This is a very special episode. In addition to being packed with content and the introduction of a new, amazing caller, we here at Your Mom's House are very proud to announce that the Main Mommy, Christina Pazsitzky (PaJeanSky) has released a NEW album!Man of the Year is Christina's second album and is now available everywhere. Be sure to get a copy so that her jeans reach higher, tigher levels!Plus the moms get down and talk about Tommy letting Christina do (and say) dumb things. Is it his fault?!? Tina worked out HARD this week. Is cross training fitness not a match for her?Tommy is in LOVE with another crime show. This one is extra murdery and we break it down for you. Plus "Uncle Bill" whom we have been wanting to have on the show for years is finally here. All we can say about that is - you're not ready. DENIM! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh jeans it's here! Your first NEW momisode of the NEW year.This one really delivers. Maybe it's us, maybe it's these jeans. We give you modern day philosopher, Plies. Tina has trouble deciphering his sounds, but once she gets it, she GETS it. Plus we try to figure out what's up with Austin Uber drivers and all the different browns we had there. Is there anything Steven Seagal doesn't know? Well, uh, that's a trick question. We jam out to a song that'll blow your mind. CP was inspired and now you'll be too.Raise a pair of pants up for this one!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices