Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

You see thing about pimpin, man. You want a happy ho. Happy ho's eat, sad ho's don't. If you want to keep your stable out there and earnin then keep your ho's happy. This is the only podcast that provides cool insight like that. Also, Top Dog did it again. Yup, you guessed it, his face meat hit the numbers on the phone when we spoke to him. Oh yeah, he sharted too. Great story.All that and more. Just get your jeans on.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whoa those are some awfully BIG WORDS you said there. This week we have some incredible mentions of the BIGGEST of big words. Someone even said it to the Prez!Plus a foreign accent that seems DOUBTFUL and a DENTAL UPDATE that will have you brushing extra hard tonight. Seems like Mozart was a mommy, 20,000 years ago when he was alive and that's just somethin you gotta Respek.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Don't mess with Lincolnton, man! That's what Uncle Joey says. A lot of you say LinkedIn, but you know, La Craw, La Croix, feel me? When you listen to our show remember to RESPEK our name. Otherwise we'll be FINISHED and DONE with you. The mommy's really do their thang in this one and even talk to Tommy's Mommy about his new, important revelation. He's not only Poly and Bi...listen to find out what ELSE he, er, they is now. JEANS FOREVER. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tommy and Tina went on a pegging adventure. Please take a look. Also, note that pegging doesn't involve another dude (BERT).You want to hear/see something gross? You KNOW we've got you covered. There's a young dude who likes grandma's GROSSSSS. Plus there's a girl who is in to tasting the uh, splooge, of dudes from different ethnicities. GROSSSSSSER.Tina tries to trick Tom into playing incriminating clips of verbal "slip ups." Will it backfire on Tina? Probably. And a NEW Gnawm Sayin King is proud to take his throne. Smell us? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We know the show is popular but even Rachel Maddow listens! Wow, and of course, Hey Hitler back at ya!It's been a while so we gave Top Dog a call and this one not only did not disappoint - it was epic. Like Wipe Down Epic. This ep is loaded: Crazie Locs listens to a fan song, a NEW abusive pimp, La Croix responds, NEW vocal fry, and a bunch of Would You Rather's. This ep is the Jeans' Jeans.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, F**K Boys! We are ready for you to do battle. On guard!T Bunz went on local TV in Cleveland and called out Crazie Locs. We thought that would have been the biggest news of this episode, but it isn't because - BRACE YOURSELF -CRAZIE LOCS finally speaks directly to us. Did that last sentence process? If it didn't read it again. Also, you know what I'm saying, you feel me, understand? And now SMELL ME? All in one clip from one person and he's the only one speaking. Amazing.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We'd like to dedicate this episode to all those days when you're feeling a little down, a little alone, a little like a d-bag that would dedicate an episode to someone. We got that Crazie Locs jam you know you want cause this time someone ELSE made it better. La Croix is French. Unless you are Tina jeans then you're all, "it's LA CROY." Plus we listen to what Tommy thought was Hungarian and ended up just being abusive!This is the kind of episode that'll have you wondering aloud, Where's The C*m? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There's something about those jeans of yours. They're so...high and so...tight. They're PERFECT.We bring the ultimate dad laugh to the table on this one. It rivals Top Dogs famous dad laugh, no seriously, it does. Plus we have Locs doin his thang and stuff like that and Tommy doin his thang back and stuff like that. Shout out to everyone all over the world. Do you know Bryan Silva? You will now. Maybe you can help FREE him. And then, you know what I'm sayin, we count some new you know what I'm sayins.We learn about an evil sushi operation in NorCal and SO MUCH MORE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jeans up over your head! This one will have you screaming MOMMY! WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO ME?!?!Tommy put it out there in a MAJOR challenge to Crazie Locs last week. This week we await Locs' response while diving into some of his other uh, interests. Brace yourself - it's terrifying. Also, do you eat the booty? Where do you eat it? How often?Plus we think we have an alternate choice to Donald Trump. This is a guy with a lot to say and the only candidate with a Zombie plan. Do you want a pony? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bruh! That was a deep fart. Cool that you got your little bro in on it. We got videos! If you're listening that's only half the battle. How often and how well do we make fun of those who are "LESS THAN"? Hopefully a lot. And this episode has no shortage. We have a CRAZIE LOC who Tommy challenges to a fight! Will he accept?Plus we have that intel you've been looking for on KIM AHN. It's so full of adventure and is truly AMAZE. Seagal has a new turd, er, trailer, and it's mind-numbing how bad it is. Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices