Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

SPONSORS: - Go to http://helixsleep.com/YMH for 27% Off Sitewide. - Plans start at $15/month at http://MintMobile.com/MOM. - Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/ymh This week on Your Mom’s House, Tim joins the show through the magic of the internet as the main mommies dive headfirst into Bad Thoughts production, introducing the boys to The Terminator movies, and some Arnold impressions. Things escalate quickly with a wild opening clip of a very public call out of something very private, followed by a call to action for any and all "throat goats". Tom and Christina also unpack the Trapped in the Caribbean chaos, which included a TMZ story hotel horror stories, steel drums, and a week of no YMH episode. They also deep dive into Mike Fedele’s extremely online lifestyle of boats, flexing, humping, and Gen-Z failures. Also in this episode Safety Larry’s situational-awareness book, threats from a nude man in shoes, pet safety clips, stranger danger, eye pokes, Mantak Chia energy, pot debates, hippie hatred, garbage-dump parenting, mafia waste management history, body-disposal hypotheticals, and kids talking trash. Buckle up, jeans, we're fuggen BACK! Your Mom’s House Ep. 843 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:32 - Showing The Boys Terminator 00:09:59 - Opening Clip: Digging In Yo Shit 00:17:18 - Clip: Calling All Throat Goats 00:20:42 - Stranded In Paradise 00:30:04 - Mike Fedele 00:37:22 - More Safety Tips With Larry 00:44:34 - Clip: Stranger Danger 00:45:38 - Clip: Grab Those Testicles 00:47:37 - Will Blunderfield + Mantak Chia 00:50:17 - Pot Discourse 00:55:18 - Field Trip At The Dump 01:04:13 - Clip: Trash Talking White Kid 01:06:43 - Closing Song - "Daddio's Patio (Feat. Cutter Tha Killer Klown) by Celador Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Comedian Joe DeRosa, known for his sharp observational humor and soon-to-launch podcast 'Vile & Horrendous', joins Christina P for a wild ride. They dig into the nostalgia of childhood TV shows, debate cannabis culture versus alcohol, and react hilariously to a viral church meltdown. Joe shares insights about retro game collecting, while Christina explores parenting challenges and TikTok quirks. They even take a virtual tour of the iconic Home Alone house, criticizing today's bland fast-food aesthetics. Get ready for laughs and hot takes!

Chevy Chase, a comedy legend known for his roles in SNL and the Vacation films, joins the conversation to share hilarious insights about his career. He reflects on his time at SNL, revealing regrets about leaving too soon and his favorite improv moments in films like Three Amigos and Vacation. Chevy also discusses the surprising origins of his documentary, encounters with famous personalities, and amusing anecdotes about fan interactions. Get ready for a festive mix of comedy nostalgia and holiday cheer!

SPONSORS: - Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/YMH. Promo Code YMH - Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse - Go to https://Helixsleep.com/YMH for 20% Off Sitewide. - Use code YMH at https://monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year. Check your six, mommy! In this absolutely unhinged episode of Your Mom’s House, Tom and Christina suit up in tactical vests and announce a bold new YMH initiative: total-life preparedness. From flashlight stances to 10-second doorway scans, the leaders of the Mommy Militia learn how to navigate a world full of lurking threats, fire, danger, and of course… clowns. Shout out to Jason Fabus for the amazing sax intro (IG: @jasonfabus). Tom and Christina show off an impressive array of emergency gear (machetes, trauma shears, MRE pizza with 5,000 calories, brass knuckles, and a foldable murder-credit-card), before the two dive into more safety guy Larry Betz safety lessons, some prime examples of black romance, horny James Joyce letters, trench foot, some horrible or hilarious clips, some TikTok's, and then addressing the loss of a truly stacked inspiration. Stay safe. Stay ready. And never walk into a Chili’s without scanning the exits first. Your Mom’s House Ep. 840 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:12 - Farts & Safety 00:06:44 - Opening Clip: Restaurant Scan 00:16:40 - Clip: Safety Shaun 00:18:59 - More Safety Tips & The Perfect Neighbor 00:30:54 - Clip: Misgendered Meltdown 00:35:11 - Clip: Talk To The Butt 00:37:08 - James Joyce Love Letters 00:41:31 - Clip: Big Gay Clowns 00:43:59 - Madonna 00:47:03 - Clip: Headbutt Self Defense 00:48:46 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:54:15 - Clip: Isolation Year 00:57:41 - RIP Mary Magdalene 00:59:16 - Clip: Pastor's Cool Advice For Women 01:04:38 - Fedsmoker Jr 01:09:05 - TikToks 01:19:38 - Final Safety Tips 01:22:01 - Closing Song - "She Got Tits" by Joseph and John Juarez Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: - Shop SKIMS Mens at https://SKIMS.com. #skimspartner - Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/YMH. Promo Code YMH - Head to https://www.squarespace.com/MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code MOM. This week on Your Mom’s House, Tom Segura and Christina P are firing on all cylinders as chaos reigns from start to finish. Christine boldly reclaims her glasses identity (sparking a surprisingly heated household debate), questionable gift choices come under scrutiny, and the internet once again proves it was the greatest mistake. From rage-filled rants about fake followers and bots, to disturbingly confident accountants, fetish podcasters breaking down their very specific preferences, and viral videos featuring hornets, skateboarding trauma, and shower-time courting rituals, this episode will make you cry m, my baby! Tim and Christine also check out more content from their new favorite survivalist, chime in on a Italian man's scam with his dead mother, and go off about people walking among us who aren't as sane as they seem. Add in fart economics, tactical vests for children, holiday gifting advice, and a deep dive into what really makes something “gay,” and you’ve got a classic YMH rollercoaster. Buckle up, Mommy! Your Mom’s House Ep. 839 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:58 - Opening Clip: Fireside Chat 00:07:19 - Clowning Around A Pazsitzky Effect 00:17:00 - Prepared Not Paranoid 00:28:40 - Lipstick Plug 00:30:16 - Bitches Love A Strong Jawline 00:34:39 - Clip: Fart Fetish Confession 00:39:20 - Clip: Domino's Fart Pizza 00:43:18 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:49:34 - MMA Domination 00:51:43 - Hitler Won An Election 00:58:19 - Italian Mom Scam + Plain Clothes Psycho 01:05:38 - Meghan Markle's Salmonella Thanksgiving 01:08:35 - Crack Is Whack 01:14:40 - A Really Cool Story 01:19:38 - TikToks 01:33:49 - Closing Song - "SooWoo" by Josh Del Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tom and Christina hilariously roast bland Thanksgiving food while contemplating regional seasoning habits. They share the excitement of Tom's upcoming Netflix special and dive into the absurdities of online personas like GoogleDaddy. A fit dad at the kiddie pool becomes a topic of obsession, leading to a playful debate on parenting and attraction. They also poke fun at 'stay safe' videos and explore outrageous holiday gift ideas, from tactical belts to night-vision gear. Plus, the struggle of managing their overweight cat adds a comedic touch to their discussions on fitness.

Tom will be touring in Tacoma, Washington at the Emerald Queen Casino, and after that, Oakland, California, at the Paramount Theatre November 30th. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: - Don’t miss out on early Black Friday deals. Head to https://Wayfair.com now to shop Wayfair’s Black Friday deals for up to 70% off. - Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse - Use code YMH at https://monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year. What's up, Chomos?!? It's a super-sized episode as Tom and Christina spiral into complete chaos as they announce Tom’s brand new Italian bakery opening in Austin, debate the official hierarchy of Small Fat, Mid Fat & Super Fat, and revisit one of YMH’s greatest Cool Guys — the meth dude who “came in 4 strokes.” The mommies also break down a billionaire who lost over $300 million gambling, roast Bezos and Zuckerberg’s glow-ups, and discuss why every CEO is suddenly shredded. Plus: fat pets, fart mics, autistic rant guy, and the saddest cat breastfeeding story ever told. Your Mom’s House Ep. 837 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:46 - A Taste Of IT-Ly 00:05:40 - Opening Chaos & Classic Cool Guy Musings 00:10:55 - What Type Of Fat Are You? 00:19:51 - Clip: Rant On Autism 00:22:26 - Clip: The Drooling Gambler 00:29:47 - Clip: Fat Love 00:35:53 - Fat Pets 00:44:49 - Clip: Ex Liked My Farts 00:46:12 - Fit CEO's 00:54:51 - Tommy Lasorda 00:58:31 - Clip: Dressed Up 01:00:57 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:04:18 - Indian Hospitals 01:08:08 - TikToks 01:14:09 - Closing Song - "Principal Coffee" by Chydah Sneeze Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tom and Christina dive into the curious history of Thanksgiving and the stinky reality of life before antibiotics. They dissect a hilarious clip of a tweaked-out double agent and explore Tom's wild 3% body fat goal. Christina shares her papier-mâché obsession while debating quirky toy representations like Diabetes Barbie. The hosts humorously tackle celebrity anecdotes, food fears around pickles, and bizarre personal stories, blending humor with a sprinkle of social commentary for a wild ride!

Tom will be filming his new stand-up special in Milwaukee at The Riverside Theater on November 14th & 15th! Tickets are still available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour. SPONSORS: - Tear. Pour. Live More. Go to http://LIQUIDIV.COM and get 20% off your first order with code YMH at checkout. Tom and Christina are back in the Studio Jeans for another week of really wild finds and the discovery of a possible heir to the FedSmoker crown. Before that, Christina launches her new winter makeup drop (“Cuts You Up”) and the Jeans reminisce about classic reality TV — from Wife Swap’s “God Warrior” meltdown to Ice Cube’s bizarre early-2000s race-swap experiment on FX. They then dive deep into constipation talk (suppositories vs. laxatives), hospital horror stories, and whether couples who don’t fart in front of each other are living a lie. Tom reveals his new fear of contact lenses, Christina roasts his glasses, and finally both spiral into laughter over the reincarnation of a YMH legend on a college campus. What’s Up There Chomo? Your Mom’s House Ep. 835 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:54 - Wife Swap God Warrior 00:09:45 - Opening Clip: No Poop For You 00:12:25 - Good Old Fashioned Brown Talk 00:21:19 - Race Swap Reality Show 00:28:24 - Apartheid Museum 00:31:16 - Clip: Gas Station Photographer 00:35:17 - Dad Eyes 00:40:31 - A New FedSmoker? 00:52:22 - Crazy American Melts Down On Boat 00:56:11 - Christina's Curations 01:08:41 - Wrap Up 01:09:48 - Closing Song - "Vocal Fry Jam" by Gaping Dad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tom will be filming his new stand-up special in Milwaukee at The Riverside Theater on November 14th & 15th! Tickets are still available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour. SPONSORS: - Head to https://Mood.com and use code YOURMOM to find the functional gummy that matches exactly what you're looking for, and let Mood help you discover YOUR perfect mood. - Get organized, refreshed, and ready for the holidays for way less. Head to https://Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/YMH. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. Happy Hallow Jeans! Welcome to a very spooky and very fashionable episode of Your Mom’s House! 🎃 This week, Tom Segura and Christina P get into the Halloween spirit—well, Christina does—by showing up as Karl Lagerfeld, complete with fingerless gloves and antisocial energy, while Tom is dressed as a Tom Segura who totally forgets his costume. The jeans dive into Karl’s insane quotes, fashion snobbery, and hatred of sweatpants, before somehow landing on Florida’s trashiest white people, Santa-denying parents, and why Jewish holidays can’t compete with Christmas. Then, the Hamburglar aka Ryan Sickler joins the show to talk about his new stand-up special Live and Alive, why his brow lift left him without a Halloween costume, and how bullying might actually build character. Plus, the Main Mommies also show Ryan some horrible or hilarious clips and everything insane they've been watching this week. ROBBLE ROBBLE! Your Mom’s House Ep. 834 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:57 - Opening Clip: Ryan Needs Some Action 00:06:28 - Halloween On Christmas 00:14:14 - Florida Trash 00:22:50 - Fart Eyes Responds 00:25:40 - Some Gay Stuff 00:34:37 - Clip: Exploding Horny Dude 00:37:48 - Bert 00:40:59 - The Hamburglar Roasts Karl Lagerfeld 00:47:17 - Pudding Unc 00:54:08 - Clip: One Eyed Lady 00:56:12 - Clip: Picky Eater 01:02:09 - Sickler's New Special 01:07:28 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:22:31 - I'm Ryan 01:27:07 - Cafe Bich Nga 01:30:22 - Lars Van Trier Loves H Dog 01:32:18 - Austin's Poop Problem 01:41:38 - Clip: Earl Changes 01:47:19 - Closing Song - "Fuk Me Tonite" by Matt Mercer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices