Your Secret Is Safe With Me

What do you want people to believe about you? Other people's opinions can have a powerful impact on how you perceive yourself. Different people will have positive and negative opinions, but when they are not aligned with your own, it's easy to devalue yourself. As Dr. Marie Murphy says, many people conceptualize their opinions of what is right or wrong as being fundamentally correct — but this is not always valid. Although it's common to desire the approval of other people, it's important to avoid whittling yourself away because of the opinions of others. According to Dr. Murphy, you do not have to listen to anyone else's statements or beliefs. Once you understand, value, and accept yourself, you have the power to decide what you believe. Join Dr. Marie Murphy for this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me as she discusses how to overcome the fear of other people's opinions about infidelity. Listen in as Dr. Murphy shares a story about learning to believe in herself, why you do not have to listen to other people's opinions about your choices, and how to start nurturing a stronger relationship with yourself. Stay tuned!

It's easy to feel encapsulated in an adultery bubble. With all the stigma around infidelity, where can you go to speak about the feelings you have? Is there a place to escape judgment and shame? Mona Lisa has created a safe space for adulterers, like herself, to connect without fear. For Mona, infidelity is empowering and provides her with a sense of freedom — but it is not without pain and other difficult emotions. She knows other people are navigating the same feelings, and that's why she believes connecting and sharing her experiences is so crucial. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks with Mona Lisa, the founder of The Scarlet Letter and P.S. I Hate You, about navigating an adulterous lifestyle. Mona talks about the rollercoaster of emotions that comes with having an affair, the excitement of limerence energy in a new relationship, and the stigma around cheating and divorce. Stay tuned.

New relationships carry a special energy, often referred to as the "honeymoon period." But what happens after the excitement wears off? Is the relationship doomed — or can this energy spark a long-term bond? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, "new relationship energy" isn't always a bad thing. While it's important to recognize its existence and role in your relationship, it doesn't mean that the romance is over once this excitement wears off. So, how can you continue to build a sustainable relationship after the initial spark fades away? In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy discusses the pros and cons of "new relationship energy." Dr. Murphy talks about how to use your initial excitement as a template for the future of your relationship, what to do when the spark starts to fade, and why it's important to look at infidelity in neutral terms. Stay tuned.

Do you feel stuck in a loop of self-loathing? Are there moments in your past that you feel helpless to change, so you end up re-playing them over and over again in your head? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it's important to stop blaming and shaming yourself and start releasing your own pain. While forgiving yourself doesn't mean getting a free pass to abdicate any kind of responsibility, you can shift your focus to the more positive contributions that you want to make. This way, your past mistakes can become mileposts of learning, not events to watch on repeat. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy discusses the important process of forgiving yourself. Listen in as Dr. Murphy talks about why dwelling on the past won't change anything, how to stop unconsciously inflicting pain on others, and the difference between striving to live by your ideals and perfectionism. Stay tuned for more.

Being the "other person" in an affair is complicated, to say the least. You fell in love with an amazing person, but are now stuck waiting for them to leave their long-term partner. With such difficult emotions at play, how can you choose the best path forward? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it's easy to obsess over your partner's decisions when you're the "other person" in an affair. However, it's important to remember that you have ultimate control over your life — and the decisions you make in your relationship. While you may not be able to change when or if your partner leaves their other relationship, Dr. Murphy has some strategies for owning your power, embracing uncertainty, and choosing the option that is best for you. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy discusses the emotional rollercoaster of waiting for your affair partner to leave their marriage or long-term relationship. She talks about how relationships can survive the affair bubble, the challenge of waiting for your partner to make a decision, and her advice for choosing the best path forward. Stay tuned.

People have opinions about everything. However, when those opinions turn negative and become directed at you, it can feel extremely uncomfortable. Sometimes it might seem easier to try and avoid the discomfort by hiding your true desires or beliefs. But that response typically isn't what's best for you. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, embracing discomfort is sometimes the only way you can truly start feeling better. Doing the right thing for yourself will occasionally result in judgment from others — and that's okay. The important part is learning how to deal with the way other people view your decisions without letting their opinions derail you from living the life that you want. As Dr. Murphy says, making other people happy shouldn't come at the cost of your own happiness. Join Dr. Marie Murphy for this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me as she discusses how to deal with other people's opinions. Listen in as Dr. Murphy shares the story of a choice she made as a teenager that caused an onslaught of negative reactions and judgment. Dr. Murphy explains why she kept her choice a secret for many years, what she's gained from telling her story, and the valuable lessons she learned about coping with people's judgment and regaining control over her narrative. Stay tuned!

If you've ever been the "other person" in an affair, you're probably familiar with how challenging that role can be. And, it can feel even more complicated when being the "other person" turns into a pattern. So, if you've found yourself in this position repeatedly and it's not fulfilling your desires, what can you do to change your situation? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, sometimes being the "other person" can feel like a tragic curse that you can't shake. However, if you want things to be different, only you have the power to change your circumstances. Today, Dr. Murphy is here to share her expertise so you can stop feeling stuck and start building the life and forming the relationships you actually want. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy discusses why some people habitually find themselves in the role of the "other person" in an affair. Listen in as Dr. Murphy explains why your personal narrative could be preventing you from getting what you want and how you can break the patterns that aren't serving you. Plus, Dr. Murphy shares three questions that can help you better understand your behavior. Stay tuned!

Relationships can be tricky to navigate under normal circumstances, but if your partner struggles with addiction, you'll likely find yourself faced with additional challenges. Society's biases toward addiction can make it difficult to talk about — especially if the only advice people give is that you should leave. But, if you're not ready to end your relationship, how can you improve your situation and let go of the guilt and shame of staying in a difficult partnership? Certified Life Coach Karilyn Ivers says that many of her clients initially come to her hoping that she can "fix" their partners, but relationships and addiction don't work that way. If you want to improve your circumstances, it's not about changing the other person — it's about changing yourself. After all, you can't control the world around you, but you can alter how you respond to it. If you want to feel less guilt, shame, and worry, Karilyn has some tips for learning to process your emotions and set better boundaries in your relationship. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Certified Life Coach Karilyn Ivers joins Dr. Marie Murphy to discuss how you can create your own happiness, listen to your intuition, and trust yourself — regardless of the difficulties in your relationship. Karilyn describes how addiction impacts relationships and explains why blaming, adopting a victim storyline, and attaching yourself to an outcome might end up doing more harm than good. Stay tuned!

Being the "other person" in an affair can be exciting, but it also comes with its own unique challenges. You may sometimes feel like you're stuck or powerless in your situation. And, because of the taboo nature of the relationship, you might not have anyone to talk to about your feelings besides your affair partner. So, how can you figure out what you really want from your relationship and start changing your circumstances today? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, you have more power over your situation than you think. However, you need to get clear about your feelings and desires in order to access that power. While simply wishing for things to change won't help, there are techniques that you can use to navigate your relationship and make choices that will serve your best interests. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about the experience of being the "other person" in someone else's affair. Dr. Murphy describes the various challenges that the "other person" typically faces, the importance of getting clear on how you feel without judging yourself, and the tried-and-true strategies for regaining your power. Stay tuned!

How does the way you think affect your sex life? What causes the excitement of a new relationship to fade? And, can changing your mindset create more pleasure in your relationship and life? According to pleasure expert Danielle Savory, you can transform the way you experience your relationship simply by changing how you think. As she says, people in long-term relationships often unintentionally eliminate the things that create desire and make the relationship exciting — but it doesn't have to be that way. By understanding yourself and your expectations more clearly, you can break out of old patterns and invite connection and passion back into your life. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks with Danielle Savory, a Certified Life Coach and pleasure expert, about how your mindset can affect your relationships and love life. Danielle explains how the stories you tell yourself influence your sex life, the importance of evaluating your expectations in a long-term relationship, and why understanding your brain may be the first step in the healing process. Stay tuned.