Your Secret Is Safe With Me

Engaging in a new infidelity situation can carry intense and conflicting emotions. How can you handle the magnitude and mixture of your feelings? Is it possible to find clarity during these heightened moments? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the intensity of the emotions accompanying a new relationship is compounded with an infidelity situation — especially if the relationship is forbidden or you have conflicting feelings. Dr. Murphy recommends that you take time to digest these feelings to get clear on what you want from your new affair. Only then can you deal with your emotions clearly and make the right decision for you. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about the intensity of the emotions that accompany a new infidelity situation. Dr. Murphy explains why you may have conflicting thoughts during the start of an affair, how to find clarity with your uncomfortable feelings, and her tips for achieving the outcome you desire in your infidelity situation.

How can you find clarity about your thoughts surrounding couples therapy or counseling? If you already feel sure about ending your relationship, what are your reasons for wanting to go? Before going to couples therapy, you need to have a clear understanding of your reason for attending. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, many people go into couple's therapy because they're looking to stall difficult conversations, they feel obligated to attend, or they want help facilitating a breakup. But Dr. Murphy says that it is not a guaranteed or automatic solution — you will still have feelings of discomfort associated with ending the relationship regardless of what your therapist does. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy discusses how to determine if couple's therapy or counseling is right for you. Dr. Murphy talks about justifying your reasons for attending counseling, the desire for a deeper understanding before ending a relationship, and the distinction between therapy and coaching.

If you've had an affair that's now ended, you may be worried about what this secret will mean for the future of your marriage. Does keeping your cheating a secret doom your marriage to failure? Do you still deserve love and happiness after your infidelity? Will your marriage still have trust? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, these are all common fears — but none of them are true unless you believe they are. As she says, the future of your marriage depends on what you choose to focus on after your affair has ended. If you believe you've doomed your marriage to failure because you cheated, then this may become a reality. But, if you instead focus on shifting your mindset and moving forward, you can cultivate a marriage of love, trust, and happiness. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy addresses the common fears you may have after your secret affair has ended. Dr. Murphy explains why you are in control of whether or not your infidelity poisons your marriage and how to shift your mindset from fear to growth. She also breaks down the "think, feel, act" cycle and shares her advice for moving forward with your marriage.

If you experience a major upheaval in your relationship, the disruption can feel like your world is crumbling down. How can you deal with this radical adjustment? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, it may feel like bad shit is happening, but through destruction comes opportunities. If you deliberately choose to restructure your life from the rubble, you can build and grow your authentic self. Dr. Murphy says that to ride out uncomfortable or devastating experiences, you should ask yourself why this change is happening for you. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy pulls out a deck of tarot cards to detail how you can deal with unforeseen change in your infidelity situation. Dr. Murphy explains how The Tower card can be a symbol of opportunity, her tips for navigating difficult upheavals in your relationship, and how to restructure your life for personal growth.

Whether you have a large number of assets or are living paycheck to paycheck, breaking up with your partner can cause major financial resentment. So, how can you navigate issues around money as you go your separate ways? During her separation from her partner, Jessie Susannah Karnatz, aka the "Money Witch," struggled with feelings of financial regret and resentment. Then, she received a piece of advice that changed her entire perspective. Her mother told her: "You made a bad investment. Cut your losses and move on." This helped Jessie Susannah reframe her past choices and create a better financial future — and now she helps her clients do the same. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy sits down with Jessie Susannah Karnatz, aka the "Money Witch," to discuss how to navigate issues around money during a breakup. Jessie Susannah shares her advice for overcoming financial resentment, the value of looking at your former relationship as a business investment, and how to learn from your past decisions so you can create a more fulfilling future. Stay tuned.

When you've formed a bond with your affair partner, it can be a grinding experience when that connection abruptly stops. So how can you overcome the pain of being ghosted? Dr. Marie Murphy says you are responsible for your sense of satisfaction, and if you're struggling to heal from the loss of a relationship, you will have to change your thinking. By thinking differently about your ghosting experience, you can lessen the intensity and reduce your pain in the future. According to Dr. Murphy, the first step is to accept what you are currently feeling — then you can start to write a new story. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about dealing with the painful emotions of being ghosted by your affair partner. Listen as Dr. Murphy discusses how to think differently about your experience to relieve your pain, why it's reasonable to desire an explanation, and her personal experience with a severed relationship.

Do you feel like you're constantly pledging allegiance to your past? If you're stuck in the cycle of recycling and analyzing your past experiences, you may not be sure how to live the way you want to in the present and future. So, how can you engage with the past more effectively in order to create the future that you desire? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, the past may seem stable and the future unpredictable. But, as Dr. Murphy says, if you focus too much on what went wrong in the past, it can negatively impact your present — and your future. Simply wishing won't help; choosing and learning how to envision the future you want to create may seem like a daunting task, but Dr. Murphy is here to help you clarify your vision. Join Dr. Marie Murphy for this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me as she discusses how to examine your past in neutral terms to create a future you desire for your love life. Listen as Dr. Murphy talks about the pitfalls of fetishizing the past, why envisioning a different future can feel unfamiliar and threatening, and how to gain control over your narrative and create the future you want to experience.

If you aren't clear on how to move forward with your infidelity situation, what can you do to make a change? How can you make the right decisions for you — regardless of what your affair partner does? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, you have the choice between making decisions consciously and deliberately and making them haphazardly or based on fear. Many people want safety, comfort, and security in their relationship. But, are these desires holding you back from what you really want from your future? Dr. Murphy says the first step to making the right decision for you is dealing with your own emotions — only then can you create the relationships you want to have. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about navigating obstacles while planning a future with your affair partner. Dr. Murphy examines the new emotions that can impact your choices, what you should acknowledge in your relationships, and how to make decisions based on your desires.

How does the way you understand and express boundaries affect your relationships? What does it look like when your needs are in alignment? And, can creating better boundaries with yourself lead to more pleasure in your external relationships and life? According to Melissa Hite, to live an authentic life, it's important to communicate boundaries with yourself and with others. Melissa says you should not negate what your body and mind are telling you in order to remain in a relationship. Instead, choose yourself, or you will feel the effects of not honoring your needs. When your boundaries are heard and respected without justification, you'll have the safety and clarity needed to strengthen your relationships. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy is joined by Melissa Hite, Founder and Sexual-Spiritual Advisor at Higher Sex Education, to discuss her advice for setting and understanding boundaries with yourself and others. Melissa talks about recognizing your body signals when making decisions, learning how to honor your needs, and thoughtfully expressing your boundaries without creating an ultimatum.

When you're unclear on your desires, you may feel stuck or powerless in your situation. If you are trying to cheat and want your sanity to stay intact, how can you deliberately decide what you want from your relationships? According to Dr. Marie Murphy, you are accountable to yourself and your choices. To make more deliberate and satisfying relationship decisions, you need to manage your mindset and emotions. How? Dr. Murphy has the tools to help you get clear on your desires so you can keep your sanity intact in your infidelity situation. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy talks about managing your emotions while cheating. Dr. Murphy discusses the emotional baggage that comes with deciding to engage in cheating and how to navigate it. She also shares her tips for maintaining sanity during an affair.