Teal Swan

Why do I use the word addiction? Because we can use comfort to cover over something we are trying to avoid, we develop a dependence on it to the point that if it is taken away, we have extreme reactions to it as if we were in withdrawal, we limit ourselves and our lives while inside our comfort zone and yet we continue to stay in it even when we know it is harming us. This is in fact the criteria for an addiction.

In this episode, Teal demonstrates an exercise, which is part of the voice dialogue therapy technique. This judgment exercise enables us to use our judgments and prejudices to discover the aspects within us that have been suppressed and denied.

Envy is the emotion that occurs when we experience an extreme desire for something that someone else has, whether it is a quality, achievement or possession but we don’t think we can have it. Jealousy is the emotion that occurs when we anticipate or feel the loss of something of great value to us, whether it be a quality, achievement or possession. In other words, one exists when we wish to keep what we have and the other occurs when we want to get what we don’t have and in either case, feel powerless to do so. Why do these emotional states feel so similar (similar enough to be confused as one another)?

Having the truth allows us to have cognitive closure. It makes us feel more secure. It makes order out of chaos and meaning out of meaninglessness. So, as people, we are likely to arrive at what we think is a truth and hold onto it for dear life. The problem is that we do not realize that the most objective truth is that truth itself is subjective. If I live in the projects, my truth is “You have to work hard for money”. This is not the same truth for someone who is born into a trust fund. So what is the truth? Do people have to work hard for money or does money come easy?

A great many people, especially those who identify with new age spirituality and/ or the hippie movement, neither commit nor take responsibility and confuse that with freedom.

For thousands of years, duality within the universe has been like a war. Good versus evil; both sides unwilling to see itself in the other. If you are reading this article, chances are you identify more with being part of the side we call ‘good’. For thousands of years the approach that the ‘good’ took towards the ‘bad’ was that it needed to save itself from the bad. The approach it took was to separate itself from and protect itself from the bad. All the focus was placed on how to be good. If you read many of these old scripts, like the Bible, which were translated through the limited understanding of the human mind at that time, it paints the picture that there needs to be a power struggle between good and evil. It tells you how to be on one side, by separating yourself from the other.

The ego is essentially a separate sense of self. It is comprised of anything you identify yourself with. To be able to comprehend of yourself as a unique thing within a system, you have to perceive yourself and then define yourself as different to other things within the system. You cannot conceptualize of what you are unless you conceptualize of what you are not. An easier way of understanding this is to say that you cannot conceptualize of yourself as “Joe” until you are aware that you are not “Nancy”. This means the ego only exists in a state of comparison. It cannot exist without comparison. This process of individualization benefits us in certain ways. But there is a price to it as well… Separation. When we conceive of ourselves as a separate self, we are immediately not a part of anything we define as “other”. This is the true origin of loneliness.

Insomnia may sound like a minor problem but it isn’t. Insomnia can be absolute torture for those who suffer with it. It can be terrifying as well because it makes you feel like you have no control over yourself and yet your body is betraying you by not letting you get any rest and as a result your ability to function is stolen from you. For this reason, I’m going to explain what is really causing your insomnia.

Infidelity is a betrayal of a relationship. And infidelity is a leading cause of lost friendships, breakups and divorces. Infidelity is not just about being sexually unfaithful. Infidelity is about any discontinuation of loyalty or support. And lack of allegiance. See where this blows the doors wide open for confusion? Infidelity is completely subjective. Some people have a very strict definition of fidelity and some have a very liberal definition of fidelity. It is based on belief systems, past experiences and education with regards to morality and personal preferences. If we witnessed or experienced infidelity in our childhood, we will most likely not even recognize the ways we lack fidelity. It will be a huge blind spot.

Many people wanting to be happy in life are constantly striving for this end goal of happiness. They think that if they just work hard enough and put in enough hours that happiness will eventually come. Teal speaks on how this approach of “the means justify the ends” doesn’t work and the secret to being happy is doing something you want and like to do in order to get what you want.