Thriving In Motherhood Podcast | Productivity, Planning, Family Systems, Time Management, Survival Mode, Mental Health, Vision

Today, I'm talking with Britney Grover! She shares her story about the amazing change that has happened in her over the last year as she has learned some tools to help her with her mental health. She's learned how to take care of herself first so she can continue to pour into others. Key Points from this Episode: Major life changes, like having a baby or having a spouse come home for deployment can trigger major emotions. Finding the right counselor who can teach the baby steps that you need are key to starting to heal. Remember that "thoughts aren't real." It can help calm the anxiety about things that haven't happened. Figure out what things are non-negotiable for your mental health. Examples: prayer, scripture study, exercise, and sleep. Let go of "should." Maybe things "should be" exactly as they are. If you need help, keep looking for the right counselor until you find somebody who clicks with you. "The God that I've come to know is the God that's telling me to accept myself and telling me to love myself as I am, where I am, with what I'm doing, with what I'm accomplishing, exactly where I am." - Britney Grover Resources Don't Sweat the Small Stuff Connect with Britney Website: ThisLifeofMind.com Facebook: britneylynda

We reached 100 episodes... TEN episodes ago! Today is all about celebrating what we've done and news about what is coming next to the Thriving in Motherhood Podcast! embed html Subscribe (and rate and review – thank you!): Google Play | iTunes | Stitcher Key Points from this Episode: My word for the year is Connection and I want to help our community connect more. Tag @thrivinginmotherhood.podcast on Instagram and join the Facebook Group while you share your wins in your life! The Thriving in Motherhood Website has had a face-lift with the purpose to serve you better! Find out where you are on the Surviving to Thriving pathway and get the new resource that applies to where you are! Learn to work within your limitations and THRIVE! Join the wait list for the course. Resources Thriving in Motherhood Facebook Group Surviving Guide Re-Entry Guide Normalizing Guide Exploring Guide Thriving Guide Course Wait List

Today I'm talking about what I do when I start to lose it! I'm mostly enjoying this time we have during the quarantine, but there are some times when I am not fine. These are some of the tools that I've developed over the years that I am getting lots of practice on during this crazy time. Key Points from this Episode: I used to think that if I was in a funk, that I was there to stay. It's not true! I've found ways to help myself reset and have a great rest of the day! This works for me 98% of the time - take a nap or go to bed early! Usually I'm just tired. I refer to my quarterly review where I wrote down projects and things I want to get done. I find a way to make even baby steps progress on a project. Feeling productive helps built positivity. I find a way (if possible) to get some space. If my husband can watch the kids for me, I go for a half hour walk by myself. I listened to a podcast, called a friend, and called my mom on the walk. Listen to an audiobook to give some perspective to your life. Get outside of your own circumstances to think about something bigger than yourself. Phone a friend! Just talking to somebody else feels so nice to reconnect, even if it's just over the phone. Journaling paired with scripture study and really connecting with God is huge to maintaining my mental state. It helps us in the moment, but it helps rewire your brain to look for positives in your life! I'm finding more good the more consistent I am with my journaling. Recognize that some things are nobody's fault. Nobody around you deserves the anger and wrath you might feel. It might help you to let it go instead. Sit down for 5 minutes when you need to! Exercise! Even if it's just a little bit. Resources Becoming by Michelle Obama Thriving in Motherhood Journal Generation Mindful

Today we're talking about how to strengthen your marriage during hard times instead of letting those hard times pull you apart. I'm joined by my husband of almost 9 years, Andrew, for today's episode as we share some practical tips that have made all the difference for us as we've gone from bombing the hard times to having the hard times actually bring us together more. Key Points from this Episode: Everyone's challenging times are different, but we can apply some principles to keep on the same page with our spouse when we are feeling the challenge. When big challenges are going on, remember that you can't always be "on." Give yourself and your spouse grace. Lower your expectations! Paper plates, to us, means it's a hard season and dishes is something we can let slide. It's so much easier to get kids to dump their plates in the garbage than to handle all the cleanup of the kitchen after dealing with a meal. Assume that your spouse is doing their best, even if it's nowhere close to their normal maximum capacity. Check in and connect every night especially during hard times. Ask "How are you? and Where are you at?" Figure out the stories you are telling yourself about your interpretations of the day. You'll often find that the same experience has impacted each of you completely differently. Ask "If I could do one thing, what's the one thing that's the most meaningful or helpful to you today?" or "What deadlines do you have?" "What are your top priorities right now that need time and focus?" Asking these types of questions help figure out the pain points everyone is dealing with and maximizes the little effort that can get done during the day. We have weekly planning meetings as a couple. In that, we each share our top 3 priorities to accomplish that week. Planning helps us adjust our efforts to help both of us meet our goals. Share some fun and happy things that happened each day during your evening check-in. Friday night default is date night! Rarely do we leave the house, but we know we will spend the time together after kids are in bed. Planning on it makes it something to look forward to and help us grow closer together. Serve your spouse a little, even if you feel maxed out. It will go such a long way!

Today I'm talking about how I completely changed how I experience my life and motherhood. I'll share an experience that illustrates this point and then I'll talk about how. I'll talk about the actual things that I changed how I feel about life during really hard times, as well as when things are going well. Key Points from this Episode: My third and fourth pregnancies were super hard physically, but this time (my fourth pregnancy) I am doing so much better because of the things that I've learned and been able to apply to my thinking. I'm using my time well and being the type of person I want to be despite the struggles, where I cannot say that about my third pregnancy. Becoming aware of my thoughts was the first step to being intentional with changing the thoughts. Consistently identify and shifting my thinking to more helpful and less distorted thinking has slowly shifted my natural way of thinking into a much more helpful and positive natural state. Recognize what phase of the Surviving to Thriving Framework you are in. Are you in Surviving, Re-Entry, Normalizing, Exploring, or Thriving? This will give you perspective on your current situation and where you get to go next. Teach your brain NOT to scan for negative and hard, but instead to ask "What am I grateful for?" "What were my big wins today?" and "How have I seen the hand of the Lord today?" Think through what your next steps on your projects are so you know what's next rather than wandering and twiddling your thumbs when you have a few spare minutes. That way, you are working consistently on moving your projects and goals forward. Carving out time for a spiritual connection with God has been key to my change for the better perspective. CONSISTENCY is key to retraining your brain. Ask the questions every day! Resources Thriving in Motherhood Journal

Today, I'm taking your with me through a monthly planning session. I review the previous month and look into the next month. Today's focus is more on how to use a monthly review when things are going great! Key Points from this Episode: The planner helps so much when you are in time of pure survival and also when things are going well! If you're on top of your game, add things to your monthly review page during each weekly planning, then you just have to finish off at the end of the month. My focus for the month is either helping me get very clear on the one thing that really matters on a personal level or a study question I am trying to think about throughout the month. We have an innate need to learn, so write down what you've learned and take some time to choose what you are learning. Accomplishments are for anything you consider a win: projects, who you're becoming, progress in ANYTHING! Places we went is a very short list during quarantine, but it's a reminder that it's healthy for us to experience new things and meet new people. The Family category helps me plan things that are fun for our family, plan routines and systems for our family, and figure out what I need to intentionally teach my family. Now, look ahead to next month! It's so important for me to seek God's help in deciding what I need to focus on. My prayer has been to know what I need to do to be prepared for our future. Make sure your projects is not a list of every project you ever want to do, but instead, is what you can reasonably do in the next 30 days. Really think about your self-care. Think about where you are and what you really need right now. To plan your days, consider energy mapping. Plan your toughest tasks for when you recognize you are at your best levels. Plan more mindless tasks for when you know you have a tough time focusing. Resources Thriving in Motherhood Planner Quarterly Review Episode

Today we're talking about how to add variety to your meal planning during this time when we are all at home with our families. Key Points from this Episode: I've always had the philosophy that I cook one meal. My kids have never experienced double-cooking where we have one food for the adults and another food for the kids. We allow kids to say "this isn't my favorite" but not "eww! I hate this" and those kinds of negative talk. We have the family rule that kids must take 2-3 "polite bites" of everything on their plate and after that, they don't have to eat any more if they don't want to. The kids can make themselves toast or a sandwich if they are still hungry, but I don't cook anything extra for them. I cook to what I want to eat because I'm doing the work. Watch some YouTube to get some inspiration for something different! Add something like homemade croutons to an existing salad you like to change the whole feel. Cook enough food that you have leftovers (at least for the adults) to take some of the work out of prepping food. Consider organizing your fridge where leftovers are all together and easily accessible so they don't get lost in the fridge. Take something you normally make and find ways to change up the flavor combinations and it will revitalize the food! Make something (like sauerkraut, tortilla, or pita bread) from homemade that you usually buy and it will feel new again! Make a triple batch of muffins and freeze whatever you can't finish. They are quick to heat up in the microwave and a great snack. Blend ice cubes into snow cones and add orange juice! Leftover smoothies or kefir ice cream can go in popsicle molds to save for another day. Homemade granola can be added to smoothies or ice cream. Mix in a pre-packaged oatmeal packet with regular oatmeal to spread out the sugar and flavor. Subscribe to a produce box delivery! They add variety and excitement to your fruits and veggies. Try something that sounds crazy like Chickpea Cookies! Find some friends to share recipes with! Resources This site contains affiliate links to products. We may receive a commission for purchases made through these links. Misfits Market Organic Fruits and Vegetables delivery - coupon code for 25% off your first box: COOKWME-LO0GPI Faithful Plateful Mel's Kitchen Cafe - Muffin Recipes Pinch of Yum Refurbished Blendtec Blender Silicon Mini Muffin Pan How to Make Sauerkraut Cultures for Health - Kefir Grains

Today I'm sharing with you an experience I recently had with learning my family stories. They are deepening joy, resilience, and character for myself and for my children. I invite you to join me! Key Points from this Episode: Collect some of your family stories. You can read previously compiled stories, check out FamilySearch.org, or call a family member and learn from the source! My great-great-grandmother lost her husband in the 1918 flu pandemic. Due to her pregnancy, she was too at-risk to say her goodbyes to her husband. It hurt, but she kept going. She got remarried and lost multiple children in infancy/youth. When faced with yet another death of a child, she punched herself in the stomach and told herself, "Buck up, old girl. You've done this before. You can do this again." That phrase now comes to my mind when another tantrum, another spill, another mess comes my way. I can do this, and so can you! They help remind me of who I came from and what they overcame and what they accomplished, even though things were hard. They help in little ways to improve my character and choose to take on some of their traits, follow their example, and become more of the good that they were. It helps connect the present to the past. It creates deeper, richer, more grateful experiences. Resources FamilySearch.org

This week we talk about getting out of survival mode on a practical level. What it looks like, what it feels like. Things to look for and be aware of as you go through re-entry to establish some routines and rhythms in your life. Key Points from this Episode: Try to get back into regular habits like getting dressed, taking showers regularly, brushing your teeth, feeding yourself, and feeding your families. There is going to be a point where you do see things happening in your favor but it's going to take some time and that's okay. Make sure your habits are working for you rather than against you. Just try to be 1% better in an area each day. It can be in regards to your home or your habits. It will slowly dig you out of the survival mode feeling. Look for things that can have some lasting impact like making a cleaning caddy, buying another trash can, or decluttering an area. Re-Entry feels like constantly putting out fires. Once you've put out enough fires, then your brain can start to figure out what the new normal will be. Remember it's not just about your home, it's also about taking care of yourself. Remember that it's going to feel hard for a while and you're not going to see much change or progress for a while, but that doesn't mean that change or that progress isn't being built up. Once you start to see the progress, it will be SO motivating!! Resources This site contains affiliate links to products. We may receive a commission for purchases made through these links. The FlyLady Website Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley Atomic Habits by James Clear

Today we're talking all about Quarterly Reviews! They are wonderful for when your brain feels so full that you don't know what the next step is. They can bring perspective to uncertain times and help focus the next stage of life. Key Points from this Episode: Quarterly Reviews are so great to help empty your brain and plan for the next chunk of time. Start by reviewing anything you wrote down at the beginning of the year. Things like your vision, goals, habits (if you have them). Review your last 30 days Write down what you've discovered or learned. Write down what you've accomplished. Write some highlights that have happened to or with your family. Write down what books or podcasts you've read or listened to. Write down where you went (even if it's just on walks around the neighborhood). Ask yourself what went well in the last 90 days. There is something that is going well, even in the toughest times. Be honest (but not mean) about what didn't go well in the last 90 days. What progress did you make on your goals? What goals are no longer relevant? What other goals emerged? What goals will I focus on this upcoming quarter? Think about "becoming" goals like being patient, being kind, not yelling, etc. If you're feeling more on top of things, take advantage of the new freedom in your schedule! Be creative with what's in front of you right now for the next 90 days. Decide what's most important for you to be excited about and focus on in the next quarter. Connecting with your kids every day, cleaning up your home, starting a creative project to keep your hands busy, scripture study etc. Ask what do you want to stop doing and what do you want to start doing. Set limits on apps or other electronics that you are spending more time on than you want to be. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 in the following areas. Ask yourself why and if there is anything you can do to bump yourself up the scale just a little bit. Intellectual Social Emotional Avocational Physical Vocational Marital Financial Parental Spiritual Resources 2020 Planner Thriving in Motherhood Journal How I Go on Vacation Every Day