Absolutely Not

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather shares the excitement, joy and fear she has rolling into one of the biggest nights of her life- Playing Radio City Music Hall. She takes a stroll down memory lane, and recalls the last time she attended a show there, Jeff had Diarrhea the whole time! FUN FOR EVERYONE!!! She also hits the Absolutely Not line- and answers loads of questions like "is too much CBD technically drugs?. How do I  work a google cal? and Beyhive dick in Europe is it a yay or nay?   Episode Sponsors:   If you want to take ownership of your health, try AH1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY   You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT to save ten dollars off your first month’s subscription –this offer is only available to US customers for a limited time.   Try 21Seeds Infused Tequila for easy & delicious cocktails! Visit 21seeds.com to find 21Seeds near you. Enjoy Responsibly. 21Seeds. Diageo, New York, NY.   Produced by Dear Media    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from her shows in Dallas with a hangover and general marital agitation. She is trying to save her Jute rugs from being destroyed by Mac, while also trying to train Jeff. She hits the hotline to answer questions such as "What if I called a man I slept with, Orzo?" And "how should I  feel If a stripper had the same perfume as me?" That and more!    Episode Sponsors:   Head to Squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.   Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeoderant and get $5 off of your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeoderant.com/ABSOLUTELY   Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

      On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather breaks down her weekend in the NATH EAST. She describes the absolute savage tour Robin took her on around Bahstan's Lil Italy, and how she would leave Jeff for a union theater guy in a heartbeat. She has been on the hot trail of Taylor Swift and wants no drama from the fans. She also hits the hotline for some outrageous Voicemails.    Episode Sponsors:   If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY.   The world’s most famous matriarchy is back for the most intimate look yet inside the family empire. Don’t miss season 3 of The Kardashians, new episodes Thursdays, only on Hulu.   Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY. Plus, you get FREE shipping.   New to Etsy? Use the code NEW for ten percent off your first purchase. Maximum discount value of fifty dollars. Offer ends June 30th, 2023. For home, style, and gifts shop Etsy.com. Etsy has it!   Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with friend and hilarious comedian, Adam Ray. They discuss how they both got their start in Show biz in the 6th grade because they we're chubby children. Take a walk down memory lane- to remember the good ole' days of high School theater and frat/sorority life. Discuss how a good chicken salad sammie will make you want to sit on someone's face and how much they love to feel pure joy with their dogs.   To celebrate May, Mental Health Awareness Month, and to celebrate every step you take towards a better, richer, fuller life, Talkspace is offering every listener of this podcast $100 off your first month with Talkspace. Just go to Talkspace.com/ABSOLUTELY   If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY   Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavorthat you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion –whether you're on the go or unwinding at home. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com   Try 21Seeds Infused Tequila for easy & delicious cocktails! Visit 21seeds.com to find 21Seeds near you. Enjoy Responsibly. 21Seeds. Diageo, New York, NY.   Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

 On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather's back is out but her attitude has returned. She's learning hard lessons like "everyone's an asshole", "if you dont have a core, you're body will shut down" and "Dont get stabbed in Pittsburgh"-  She hits the hotline to try to make sense of why dentists ask you questions with their hands in your mouth and more!    Episode Sponsors:   Grab your Liquid I.V. in bulknation wide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LIQUIDIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.   Check out squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.   Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavor that you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com   Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY Plus, you get free shipping.   As a special offer for listeners, new customers get $5 off a Lame Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeoderant.com   Your Memorial Day Sale is coming soon! Shop 20% off in-store or online at Brooklinen.com   Produced by Dear Media        See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this bonus episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather sits down with Jordana and Jared, hosts of the "U Up?" podcast, to talk about why couples pranks might be the worst side of TikTok, teach Jared maybe too much about feminine hygiene, and break down everything from relationships to why it just might be too late to save the turtles.   Episode Sponsors:   Shop jackets, jewelry, furniture, art, and more, made for all budgets and any occasion on Etsy. New to Etsy? Use the code NEW for 10% off your first purchase.   If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY   Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorn brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavorthat you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion –whether you're on the go or unwinding at home. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com   Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather hits the hotline and answers your voicemails about the thrills of becoming a regular at a bar, how cheering on the elderly should be a regular thing, what to do if there is a kids gifts registry for a bday party and should you break up with someone if they take you to a swingers party? She’s helping one listener at a time and questioning her own existence as to why she doesn't have a live-in hibachi chef.   Episode Sponsors: If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY   To celebrate May, Mental Health Awareness Month, and to celebrate every step you take towards a better, richer, fuller life, Talkspace is offering every listener of this podcast $100 off your first month with Talkspace. Just go to Talkspace.com/ABSOLUTELY   You can grow thicker, healthier hair AND support our show by going to Nutrafol.com and entering the promo code ABSOLUTELY to save ten dollars off your first month’s subscription – this offer is only available to US customers for a limited time.   Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely. That means your test will cost $159, which is a fraction of what it would cost at a fertility clinic.   Try 21Seeds Infused Tequila for easy & delicious cocktails! Visit 21seeds.com to find 21Seeds near you. Enjoy Responsibly. 21Seeds. Diageo, New York, NY.   Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

   On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather breaks down the details of the insane predicament she found herself in, at the Memphis airport, ran into a couple Lasso kids in Texas and was slinging art in Mississippi for Robin like drug dealer from the 80's. That and more!    Episode Sponsors: Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% on your first purchase of a website or domain.   Go to Zocdoc.com/absolutely and download the Zocdoc app or FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours.   Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP popcorns brings you a BOOM of bold, craveable flavor that you can enjoy at any time, on any occasion. You can try Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com   It's golf. It's not golf. It's Topgolf. Pro-tip, download the app & book ahead of time to Come Play Around on Half-Price Tuesday or any other day!    Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/ABSOLUTELY plus, you get FREE shipping!    Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather and Jeff are taking a walk down memory lane in their old neighborhood. They have some advice for the Rat Czar of the city and take you behind the scenes of what a VIP experience at the Garden has in store for the local celebs. A Homeless man calls Heather a lesbian, and so so much more!   Episode Sponsors:   If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY   It’s golf. It’s not golf. It’s Topgolf. Pro-tip, download the app & book ahead of time to Come Play Around on Half-Price Tuesday, or any other day!   Try 21Seeds Infused Tequila for easy & delicious cocktails! Visit 21seeds.com to find 21Seeds near you. Enjoy Responsibly. 21Seeds. Diageo, New York, NY.   Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP is perfect for when I want a bold snack with a BOOM of flavor while unwinding at the end of the day. You can try Angie’s BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com   Produced by Dear Media  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

 On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with the ultimate SCAMMMMER, Ray, to discuss how they scammed their way into the masters, yet again. It is an in-depth observation into the golf world that rarely few people get to see. They are honest and raw about how much merch they bought, how swollen their feet were and how many azaleas they really drank!    Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   Episode Sponsors:   Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, and use OFFER CODE: ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.   For a limited time, get $20 off plus shipping on orders of $100+ with code absolutelynot at Brooklinen.com   Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely   Crush your cravings with a variety of delicious ready-to-eat popcorn that's always gluten free, whole grain and non-GMO. You can try Angie's BOOMCHICKAPOP for yourself by visiting www.boomchickapop.com   If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens if giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/ABSOLUTELY   Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.