Absolutely Not

On this episode, Heather reminisces about Halloween's past, early 2000's hits from 50 cent and B*Witched and other Hot Takes from yall on instagram. Then she hits the hotline to hear more of your voicemails on amazon wish lists, dog poop and gets reminded that she never sent her wedding thank you cards. Episode Sponsors:Discover new ways to shop everything, every day, at Saks.comGo to DiviOfficial.com/ABSOLUTELTY or enter ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 20% off your first order.Find your forever pieces @jennikayne and get 15% off with promo code ABSOLUTELY at jennikayne.com/ABSOLUTELY! #jennikaynepartnerExclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount. Visit www.fablepets.com/Absolutely for more information.Go to Zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout.Head to factormeals.com/absolutely50 and use code absolutely50 to get 50% off.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather gives thanks to all of you hussies who watched the special, gets brought back down to reality by Robin after being on the road for weeks and gets some unsolicited advice her DM's. Rounding out the spiral, she gets into the voicemails where one fans admits that she is also trying to do better. Episode Sponsors:Go to zbiotics.com/ABSOLUTELY to get 15% off your first order when you use ABSOLUTELY at checkout.Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutelyGo to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Discover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.comExclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount at fablepets.com/absolutelyGrab your Liquid I.V. Hydration Multiplier Sugar-Free in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LiquidIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is in LA and sits down with Tina Tompkins- friends and employee number 2 at Absolutely Not Productions. Heather finds out a wedding secret Christina has been keeping from her, they gossip about their trip back to Ole Miss and respond to the newest set of wild voicemails. Episode Sponsors:Head to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELYBelieve the the hype - SKIMS has over 100,000 five star reviews for a reason. The Fits Everybody collection and more perfect fit essentials are available now at SKIMS.comDiscover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.comExclusively for Absolutely Not listeners, Fable Pets is offering a 20% site-wide discount. Visit fablepets.com/absolutely for more information.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from Italy, and spilling the tea on what it’s like to be on vacation alone with Jeff, where she’s retiring, and the truth behind going to sporting events in Italy, She’s full of wine, and still full of shit!Episode Sponsors:Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order.If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at DrinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELYNext time you’re thinking of celebrating a special moment in your life, remember that your natural diamond also protects vulnerable wildlife species and brings prosperity to many less fortunate communities around the world. Learn more at naturaldiamonds.comThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way to being your best self.As a special offer for listeners, new customer get $5 OFF a Lame Starter Pack with code ABSOLUTELY at LumeDeodorant.comDiscover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.comProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Your favorite Wall Street girlie, Vivian Tu, is on the podcast to teach you everything about how to make money, how to keep it, and how to make more. New money b*tches - this one’s for you.Episode Sponsors:Check out Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch go to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutelyCatch new episodes of The Kardashians on Thursdays, streaming only on Hulu.Treat yourself to the best shape wear on the market and save 20% off at honeylove.com/absolutelyDiscover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.comShop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is reporting live from Canal Street after yet another wild leg of the tour. There must have been something in the water because the weekend had everything including a 12-year-old popping up at a show, strip teases, and an episode of cops (but in real life), and that's only the beginning. Judging by the Absolutely Not-Line it looks like everyone else's weekend was just as unhinged.Episode Sponsors:Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order.For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering is offering my listeners $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOTControl Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off of your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code [ABSOLUTELY] at lumepodcast.comDiscover new ways to shop for everything, every day, at Saks.comTreat yourself to the best shapewear on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com/ABSOLUTELYProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast- Heather is finally able to make a HUGE announcement: she’s coming to Netflix baby! That’s right, her new comedy special, The Son I Never Had, is coming to a couch near you on October 17th. In the midst of the celebration she’s still taking time to hit the Absolutely Not Line to show some much-needed love to the theaters teachers, draw the hard line between making new friends and borderline stalking, and whether or not you should shoot your shot at a new sky boo.Episode Sponsors:Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order.Head to Squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domaine using code ABSOLUTELYVisit in-store or online at Brooklinen.com and use code absolutelysnot for $20 off your online order of $100 or more.Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkag1.com/absolutelyThis episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhep.com/ABSOLUTELY and get on your way of being your best self.Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutelyProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is back with friend of the pod, Jared Freid. They talk about his hilarious new Netflix special, 37 and Single, and Jared gives some sage dating advice on the proper way to hook your friends up, the best time of day to go out and find the right guy and more to get you prepped for the season.Episode Sponsors:Right now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/absolutelyRight now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutelyTry AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELYThe Fits Everybody collection and more perfect-fit essentials are available now at SKIMS.com. Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75.Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food plus free shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely Shop all my favorites at loveamika.com/ABSOLUTELY and get 20% off your order.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather's jumps into the Instagram DMs to answer your burning questions, and talk through a dab of trauma. She also hits the hotline to prove once again that she may not always have the answers, but she'll always figure it out.Episode Sponsors:Head to Squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code ABSOLUTELY. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering my listeners ten dollars off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT.Visit DelolaLife.com to find a store near you that carries Della and follow @Deolola on instagram to learn more.Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use code ABSOLUTELY to receive $5 off or $0 delivery fee off your next order.Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutely, plus, you get FREE shipping.Treat yourself to the best shapewear on the market and save 20% off at honeylove.com/absolutelyProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is home from her Tour-de-America. Her feet may be swollen, but she's got a real pep in her step after being dressed down by a large woman selling Wiener's in Chicago. She hits the hotline to answer questions like "what to do if you find out your mother-in-law has an alter ego in the bedroom?" and how to fall out of love with your Catholic priest.Episode Sponsors:If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/ABSOLUTELYRight now, Ibotta is offering our listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code absolutely when you register. Just go to the App Store or Google Play store and download the FREE Ibotta app and use code absolutely.Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use code ABSOLUTELY to receive $5 off or $0 delivery fee off your next order.Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food plus free shipping at TheFarmersDog.com/absolutelyRight now, modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutelyRight now, BÉIS is offering my listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/absolutelyProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.