Conflict Decoded Podcast

In his book Remapping Your Mind, Dr. Mehl-Madrona writes that the closest word to the English word self in the Lakota language is nagi, meaning the swarm of all the stories that make us who we are. Our interpretation of reality shapes our experience of reality. We become the stories that we tell ourselves. We, humans, need stories like we need food. But some stories nourish us more than others. If we think we have the capacity to figure things out together, we’re likely to engage in a way that helps us find win-win solutions. If we view things as right or wrong, we’re likely to take a judgmental or defensive stance. In my episode this week, I share how we can move beyond these stories that keep us stuck in challenging dynamics. If you ever feel frustrated in your interactions with others or wonder if there’s a more helpful lens to see your situation through, this is for you. Learn More from Katherine: To receive new episodes along with other nourishment for your heart, mind, and body, subscribe to Love Letters for Changemakers Katherine’s LinkedIn page Center for Callings & Courage

Resonance is what happens when Person A brings their caring, curious attention to Person B in an attempt to truly understand them, and Person B responds with—Yes, that's it! You get me! In this week’s episode, I explore how resonance changes the brain and contributes to better communication and decision-making, and how to listen to people so they really feel heard. If you’re longing for a deeper connection with yourself and the people in your life, this one is for you. Learn More from Katherine: To receive new episodes along with other nourishment for your heart, mind, and body, subscribe to Love Letters for Changemakers How to Prepare for Difficult Conversations at Work Katherine’s LinkedIn page Center for Callings & Courage

If you develop side-eyed skepticism when you hear people talking about listening to their bodies, you’re not alone. Research shows that most people don’t believe that knowing what we feel makes any difference at all. In today’s podcast episode—Why It's Important to Name Emotions, Even If You Don't Believe it—I’ll present to you four arguments for why noticing and naming what we feel in our bodies does indeed matter very much. I hope you’ll be willing to suspend disbelief momentarily, and hear me out, especially if you’re experiencing any conflict interpersonal dynamics you wish were different. Whether you find it hard to believe that noticing your body matters or you’re a somatics junkie already steeped in this stuff, this is for you. Learn More from Katherine: Emotions Wheels & Feelings List How to Prepare for Difficult Conversations at Work Free Online Course To receive new episodes along with other nourishment for your mind, heart, and body, subscribe to Love Letters for Changemakers Katherine’s LinkedIn page Center for Callings & Courage

I invite you to recall an interaction you’ve had—either recently or farther in the past—where you came out wishing things had gone differently. Now, imagine what you might have done before you entered the interaction that could have helped it get off to a better start and end in a better place. This week, I’ll explore 10 factors that I’ve wished I’d considered before heading into difficult interactions in the past and that I consider most important. To hear why each of these matters more and how to apply each to a difficult conversation you’re facing, tune in!   Learn More from Katherine: The Discernment Pause Episode To receive new episodes along with other nourishment for your mind, heart, and body, subscribe to Love Letters for Changemakers Katherine’s LinkedIn page Center for Callings & Courage

Over the past thirteen years of coaching my clients, I’ve discovered one simple practice that consistently helps my clients lovingly move less-than-helpful parts take a backseat, reclaim the wheel of their lives, and engage challenging interpersonal dynamics effectively. I return to this practice whenever I need to prepare for a challenging conversation. I call it the Discernment Pause. In today’s podcast, I’ll walk you through the five steps of the Discernment Pause: Noticing when you feel activated, and pausing. Turning toward yourself with care and curiosity. Getting curious about what you feel, want, and need. Getting curious about what your situation and other people need. Choosing your next step. If you want clarity about anything, especially tense interpersonal dynamics, this is for you. Learn More from Katherine: Emotions Wheels & Feelings Lists Needs List To receive new episodes along with other nourishment for your heart, mind, and body, subscribe to Love Letters for Changemakers Katherine’s LinkedIn page Center for Callings & Courage

When clients first come to me, they often say they want to break a bad habit or develop the discipline to stop reacting in certain ways. But discipline means punishment for the sake of correction, and trying to force, control, and self-dominate ourselves into change rarely works. When we understand where our habitual reactions arise from and develop awareness of what’s happening in our bodies, it can be easier to take a far more effective approach toward change. In this week’s episode, I’ll share why we often react in ways we later regret and the key to unlocking habit change. If you long to improve your relationships, take better care of yourself, and consistently take the actions that lead to change, I hope you’ll tune in. Learn More from Katherine: To receive new episodes along with other nourishment for your mind, heart, and body, subscribe to Love Letters for Changemakers How to Prepare for Difficult Conversations at Work Free Online Course Katherine’s LinkedIn page Center for Callings & Courage

Friendship. It’s one of the most important ingredients of a well-lived life. And yet, real friendship in which we can show up as and share care for our full, authentic selves, can be so hard to find—and so hard to maintain—in these times. Especially interracially, especially between white women and black women. That’s why I was so excited that my guests this week, Tanisha Arena and JAC Patrissi agreed to get real with me and share their real-life story of growing a deep, abiding friendship. About Tanisha & JAC: Tanisha Arena is a Black woman in community leadership as the Executive Director of Arise for Social Justice in Springfield, Ma. She holds a Masters in Non-Profit Management and is an educator at Growing A New Heart, where she trains regularly on Holding Space: holding affinity, anti-racism, self-education and support groups and Dialogues Across Differences of social location, including race and ethnicity. Tanisha has deep roots in the field of anti-violence work, specializing in community advocacy and responses to intimate partner violence within the LGBTQ community. JAC Patrissi is white woman engaged in kinship minded anti-racist work within a loving multi-racial transformative collective at Growing a New Heart. JAC was tutored in Popular Education by Paolo Freire and is a trained body-centered trauma clinician. She is co-founder of A Call For Change, a non-carceral helpline for people who cause harm in intimate relationships and community. Since 1989, she has been and anti-violence advocate working with survivors while learning and practicing non-carceral accountability practices for people using violence and control and other tools of dominance. Learn More from Tanisha & JAC’s Work: Growing a New Heart Learn More from Katherine: To receive new episodes along with other nourishment for the fight ahead, subscribe to Love Letters for Changemakers Katherine’s LinkedIn page Center for Callings & Courage

When we look at the state of waning democracy and rising authoritarianism in the US, it can be so hard to know what to do. Because our power to impact national policy is so limited, for many of us, it can feel like our hands are tied. Yes, we can attend rallies, boycott companies that support authoritarianism, and vote in local elections. But these actions can feel small compared to the federal government's incessant violence. So, what are we to do? In this episode, we’ll share practical steps you can take now to grow democracy in your community and develop the collective strength to undermine authoritarianism. Hint: It’s all about how we engage conflicts with each other and develop our ability to widen our tent. About Jiva Manske: Jiva Manske has been organizing since he was twelve years old. He’s now a strategist, partner, and dad who works with people around the world to build powerful, transformational movements. As Director of Strategic Initiatives for the 22nd Century Initiative, Jiva works to build a more resilient, innovative, and aligned pro-democracy field. He grounds his approach in commitments to accountability through collective action, organizing led by those most impacted by injustice, and healing-centered practice. Learn more from Jiva: 22ci.org The Anti-Authoritarian Playbook The Anti-Authoritarian Podcast Harnessing Our Power to End Political Violence Learn More from Katherine: To receive new episodes along with other nourishment for the fight ahead, subscribe to Love Letters for Changemakers Katherine’s LinkedIn page Center for Callings & Courage Related Episodes: Imagination is Political: Dreaming Together with Desiree Adaway How to Address Harmful Impact using Nonviolent Communication with Roxy Manning

If you ever feel overwhelmed by everything you read online, torn between wanting to keep up with what’s happening and wanting to protect your peace, or struggling in your relationship with online information in another way, my conversation with Danielle Reiff is for you. Danielle and I talk about: How to interact with online information in ways that diffuse rather than inflame conflict. How we can stay informed in these times without draining our time or energy. What to watch out for to not feed into the rumors, lies, and gossip out there. How to engage with social media and online news in ways that make us stronger, not weaker. About Danielle Reiff: Danielle Reiff is a peacebuilder, writer, and editor of Overcoming Information Chaos: A Guide to Building Peaceful Communities in the Digital Age. As a member of the U.S. diplomatic corps for twenty years, Danielle specialized in supporting democratic transitions and peacebuilding around the world. After retiring, she founded the non-partisan Peacebuilders initiative to promote empathy, dialogue, consultation, and other forms of nonviolence for advancing social change and political reform. Danielle has been a Baha’i since 1997. Learn More with Danielle:  www.peacebuildersunite.com Danielle on LinkedIn Danielle on Instagram Danielle on Facebook Additional Resources: Dangerous Speech Podcast Roxy Manning: How to Address Harmful Impact with Nonviolent Communication (Conflict Decoded episode) Learn More with Katherine: Callingsandcourage.com Katherine’s LinkedIn page To receive new episodes along with other nourishment for the fight ahead, subscribe to Love Letters for Changemakers

In a thought-provoking discussion, Ted Rau, co-founder of Sociocracy for All and expert in consent-based governance, explores innovative ways to empower organizations. He argues against majority rule, emphasizing the value of consent over consensus for long-term collaboration. Ted shares the four pillars of resilient organizations and how to turn brainstorming into actionable steps while embracing uncertainty. He also highlights the essential role of objections in decision-making as opportunities for growth, inviting listeners to rethink power and responsibility in group dynamics.