Relationship Truth: Unfiltered

“People pleasing isn’t love. It’s fear dressed up as kindness.” Have you ever gone along to get along? Said yes when you really wanted to say no? Diminished your desires, your boundaries, or even your calling—just to avoid conflict or gain approval? If so, you're not alone. In this heartfelt and eye-opening Coaches Takeover episode, Coaches Diana and Susan unpack one of the most common struggles among women: people pleasing. With honesty, biblical insight, and hard-earned wisdom, they dive into the roots of this behavior, share real stories of personal growth, and offer gentle but practical steps to help you stop abandoning yourself—and start showing up with truth, courage, and strength. Whether you've been stuck in patterns of self-sacrifice, afraid to speak up, or just feeling exhausted from trying to keep everyone happy, this conversation will meet you with grace and give you tools to walk in freedom. People Pleasing Is a Form of Self-Abandonment At its core, people pleasing happens when we silence our own needs, wants, or convictions in favor of someone else’s. Whether out of fear of rejection, a desire to keep the peace, or a longing for approval, this behavior often stems from insecurity and a loss of self. Susan shares how people pleasing is about needing something from others (like validation or acceptance) and sacrificing yourself to get it—often without even realizing it. You Can’t Heal What You Don’t Notice One of the most powerful things you can do is pause and pay attention. Diana and Susan remind us that many women have been conditioned (in families, churches, or culture) to believe that “being nice” means suppressing their true selves. But without self-awareness, people pleasing becomes an automatic pattern that robs us of authenticity and connection. Naming it is the first step to breaking free. Personal Stories Reveal the Cost of People Pleasing Diana vulnerably shares moments in her life where fear of disappointing others led to missed opportunities—including a professional invitation she turned down simply because she didn’t ask for what she needed. Susan reflects on how being trained as a therapist to be a “blank slate” magnified her already strong pattern of disappearing for others. Their stories highlight how people pleasing may seem noble—but often leads to regret and invisibility. Reclaiming Your Voice Takes Practice—and Courage Breaking free from people pleasing means learning to notice your own preferences, to ask for what you need, and to tolerate the discomfort of not pleasing everyone. This isn’t selfish—it’s sacred. As Susan and Diana point out, many women have never developed a strong sense of self, or it’s been erased by years of criticism or control. Rebuilding it is part of healing, and it takes time, support, and practice. Your Purpose Matters—Don’t Let Fear Steal It People pleasing often leads to lost opportunities, diminished confidence, and emotional exhaustion. But God created you with purpose and worth—and you don’t have to keep hiding or hustling to prove yourself. With the right tools and support, you can step into truth, draw healthy boundaries, and become the strong, faithful woman God called you to be.

“You’re not alone, you’re not crazy—and with God’s help, you can build confidence and walk in truth.” Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough? Like you didn’t belong or couldn't trust your own decisions? Maybe you’ve wrestled with anxiety before speaking up, or feared being rejected in relationships. If so, you’re not alone. In this special “Coaches Takeover” episode, Coaches Susan and Diana get real about a struggle that touches every woman at some point: insecurity. They peel back the layers to explore what insecurity really is, how it forms, how it shows up in everyday life—from career and finances to relationships and social settings—and how to move forward with confidence, clarity, and faith. With biblical insight, relatable stories, and practical tools, this episode will help you identify hidden roots of insecurity and take the first step toward freedom. Understanding the Root of Insecurity Insecurity isn’t just a feeling—it’s often a long-standing belief shaped by past wounds, trauma, criticism, or comparison. Susan and Diana explain how insecurity is usually built on perception rather than truth, and how that perception becomes a lens that affects everything from your self-worth to your ability to make decisions. Types of Insecurity—and Where You Might See Yourself From public speaking to parenting, marriage to money, insecurity shows up in many forms: personal, relational, social, professional, and financial. The coaches share vulnerable stories from their own lives (yes, even beach towel choices and Ph.D. paths!) to illustrate how insecurity can limit growth and paralyze action. The Body Keeps the Score Insecurity doesn’t just stay in your head. It shows up in your body—through anxiety, overthinking, or even chronic stress. You’ll learn how physical dysregulation can keep you stuck and how being curious (not critical) about your reactions can be a powerful path to healing. Shifting from Perfectionism to Purpose When insecurity drives perfectionism, it keeps you focused on your flaws instead of your impact. The coaches offer a mindset shift: let go of the need to be perfect and embrace being human. Showing up, even imperfectly, is powerful—especially when you focus on helping others rather than proving yourself. From Shame to Strength: A Biblical Perspective Going all the way back to Genesis, we see insecurity take root when we begin to question who we are and who God is. Susan and Diana remind us of the enemy’s tactics and encourage us to put on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10–12), standing firm in truth and identity as beloved daughters of the King. You Are Not Alone Friend, insecurity may whisper that you’re not enough—but the truth is, you are deeply loved, uniquely created, and equipped by God for purpose. You don’t need to stay stuck in fear. With His help, you can show up strong, stand in your worth, and walk in freedom. We’re so glad you’re here. If this episode encouraged you, would you share it with a friend or leave a review? You never know who might need the hope and healing God has for them through your simple act of sharing. Until next time, keep leaning into courage, wisdom, and the One who loves you most.

In this tender episode of Unfiltered Truth, Coach LeAnne shares one brave woman’s deeply vulnerable question about parenting in the wake of trauma—and the grace-filled truth we all need to hear. If you’ve ever reacted in anger and wondered, “What’s wrong with me?”—you’re not alone. Through a trauma-informed, Christ-centered lens, LeAnne explores how past wounds shape present responses and offers practical tools to begin breaking reactive cycles with compassion, courage, and truth. You’ll learn: Why trauma often shows up in parenting How to pause before reacting What it means to name your triggers How to repair ruptures and reset relationships Where God’s grace meets us in our weakness Featured Scripture: 2 Timothy 1:7 Psalm 4:4 Psalm 139:23–24 Hebrews 12:1 2 Corinthians 12:9 Resources Mentioned: Read the full blog post: When Trauma Shows Up in Parenting → https://leslievernick.com/blog/understanding-and-breaking-the-cycle-of-trauma-responses-in-parenting/ Learn more about Trust-Based Relational Intervention® (TBRI): - https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/trust-based-relational-intervention-tbri-works-leanne/ Want to coach with LeAnne or the team? Learn more about our community. Visit: https://leslievernick.com/coaching/ Subscribe to Relationship Truth Unfiltered so you never miss an episode!

In this deeply personal and powerful kickoff to the Coaches Takeover Series on Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, join Certified Coaches LeAnne Parsons and Diana Bala as they pull back the curtain on their personal stories of people-pleasing, performance, and purpose—and how God has faithfully redeemed it all. With warmth, honesty, and Christ-centered wisdom, LeAnne and Diana share how their journeys of healing led them to coaching—and why they are passionate about walking alongside women in emotionally destructive relationships today. This episode will help you feel seen, known, and invited into your own transformation. You’ll discover that you don’t have to disappear to keep the peace, and you don’t have to perform to be loved. If you’ve ever thought, “Maybe it’s me,” or “Is it selfish to say no?”—this episode is for you. What You'll Hear in This Episode: Personal stories of people-pleasing and the protective roles it plays Moments of transformation that shifted everything Why coaching is a sacred and powerful tool in healing journeys How Scripture anchors the work of both coaches Real, practical first steps to move beyond fear-based approval-seeking Encouragement that you are not too messy for God’s love—or His purpose Anchor Scripture: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” — Galatians 1:10 (NLT) Quotable Moments: “You don’t have to disappear to keep the peace.” – LeAnne “People-pleasing wasn’t my personality—it was my protection.” – LeAnne “It’s maturity, not selfishness, to know who God made you to be.” – Diana “Your ‘no’ can be holy when it honors your God-given priorities.” – Diana Ready for More? Learn more about coaching with our team: www.leslievernick.com/coaching Subscribe to Relationship Truth: Unfiltered so you don’t miss what’s next! Share this episode with a friend who needs encouragement and truth today. Leave a review—it helps others find the same support and strength. Closing Prayer Highlight: “You’re not alone. You’re not crazy. And with God’s help, you can live in truth, walk in CORE strength, and reclaim your voice.” – LeAnne Sneak Peek: Stay tuned for upcoming episodes featuring powerful client stories of transformation and live Q&A sessions with your coaches. Real questions, real answers, rooted in real hope.

In this special episode, LeAnne Parsons (PCC, TBRI Practitioner, and coach on Leslie Vernick’s team) shares an exciting update. With Leslie’s full blessing and invitation, the coaching team is stepping in to bring a new Coaches Takeover Series to the podcast! You’ll hear encouragement, real transformation stories, and coaching insights that align perfectly with the biblical foundation and trauma-informed care this podcast is known for. Expect practical tools, Christ-centered truth, and deep reminders that your healing matters and your voice is not too much. Highlights: Why Leslie invited her coaching team to take the mic What’s ahead in the new Coaches Takeover Series Why this message of healing, boundaries, and truth matters more than ever A personal encouragement from LeAnne Galatians 1:10 (NLT) Learn more: www.leslievernick.com/coaching Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review!

Have you ever felt like you've lost yourself trying to make a relationship work? You go through the motions, trying to be the "good wife," the "submissive woman," the "faithful helper"—but deep inside, something feels off. You’re exhausted, resentful, and unsure how you even got here. In this episode of Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, Leslie welcomes psychotherapist and leadership coach Michelle Moffitt for a candid conversation about what it means to wake up, reclaim your voice, and start honoring the woman God created you to be. Michelle shares her personal journey of trauma, toxic theology, and eventually rediscovering her worth and agency through therapy, self-awareness, boundaries, and faith. You’ll learn how to stop playing small, listen to your intuition, and begin transforming not only your relationships—but your life. 👉 Learn more about Michelle and her work at www.michellemoffitt.com   Key Takeaways: 💔 The Cost of Losing Yourself for the Sake of “We” Michelle opens up about how early trauma and religious pressure led her to sacrifice her identity in order to find belonging. Many women will relate to that pull to be the perfect wife or partner—only to realize they’ve abandoned themselves in the process. Leslie and Michelle expose the lies women are told in church and culture, and the real cost of losing your authentic self. 🧠 Rebuilding Trust in Your Intuition and Judgment One of the deepest wounds in destructive relationships is losing the ability to trust your own gut. Michelle introduces the SPACE tool (Stop, Present, Ask, Change, Express) to help you slow down and become more conscious of the beliefs that are driving your decisions. You'll learn how to retrain your brain to hear God’s voice and your own again. 🛑 Boundaries Aren’t Mean—They’re Holy If you’ve been over-functioning or enabling dysfunction for years, stepping into new boundaries can feel “mean.” Michelle shares practical examples and scripts that helped her draw lines without shame or cruelty—and how those boundaries started to shift the entire relationship dynamic, even when it wasn’t received well. 🧩 The Power of the Enneagram in Healing Understanding your Enneagram type can be a powerful tool for healing and growth—especially if you’ve been stuck in people-pleasing patterns or don’t even know what you like anymore. Michelle explains how the Enneagram goes deeper than personality tests to reveal hidden motives, helping you understand not only yourself, but others, with compassion and clarity. 🗣️ Reclaiming Your Voice—and Why It Changes Everything Using your voice isn’t just about confrontation; it’s about becoming who God made you to be. Michelle and Leslie talk about the discomfort of change, the fear of being alone, and the beauty of showing up in the world as your full self. If you've ever asked, “What’s wrong with me?”—this episode will help you ask instead, “What’s right with me that I’ve buried for too long?” 🌱 Ready to Begin Your Own Healing Journey? If you’re feeling stuck, silenced, or unsure of your next step, you don’t have to walk alone. Leslie’s Conquer program is designed to help Christian women break free from destructive relationships and find clarity, confidence, and courage—grounded in truth and God’s love. 👉 Learn more at www.leslievernick.com/conquer 💛 Closing Encouragement: Sister, you are not selfish for wanting to be whole. God didn’t create you to be a shadow of someone else—He created you to reflect His image. As you reclaim your voice, your boundaries, and your purpose, remember: You are not alone. You are not crazy. And with God's guidance, you can do this. Step by step. One brave decision at a time.

What do you do when trust is shattered, but no one around you seems to take your pain seriously? In today’s deeply honest and hope-filled episode, Leslie sits down with Nick Stumbo, former pastor and Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries, who opens up about his personal battle with pornography—and the profound impact it had on his wife, his marriage, and his ministry. Nick's story isn’t just one of addiction—it's about healing, honesty, and hope when everything seems lost. Together, Leslie and Nick dismantle toxic messaging that pressures wives to “just forgive” or “have more sex,” and instead offer a biblical and brain-based path toward real recovery—one that honors both the betrayed and the struggler. If you or someone you love is silently suffering in a marriage affected by pornography, this episode will remind you: You’re not alone, and your healing matters.   🔑 Key Takeaways: 1. Pornography Is Not Just a “Men’s Issue”—It’s a People Problem Nick shares eye-opening statistics from Pure Desire’s recent Barna study, showing that over half of practicing Christians admit to viewing pornography, including 40% of Christian women. This isn’t about pointing fingers—it’s about lifting the shame and creating real solutions. “Porn is not a minor issue. It’s undermining the heartbeat of our marriages and families.” 2. Real Healing Begins When the Struggler Takes Full Ownership For 10 years, Nick’s wife forgave his repeated confessions. But healing didn’t begin until Nick recognized the impact of his actions on her heart. It wasn’t enough to try harder—he had to go deeper. “Her pain wasn’t the problem. My choices were. When I stopped minimizing her hurt and started listening, everything changed.” 3. Rebuilding Trust Requires Consistent Action, Not Just Apologies Nick offers practical examples of what rebuilding trust looked like in his marriage: weekly check-ins, recovery groups, full honesty, and showing—not just saying—change. He emphasizes that wives need to see patterns of safety, not just hear promises. “Trust is rebuilt when words and actions align over time—not when you demand forgiveness before you’ve earned it.” 4. Churches Must Stop Prioritizing Reconciliation Over Healing Leslie and Nick both challenge churches that urge women to reconcile prematurely, while ignoring their trauma. Healing isn’t about keeping the marriage together at any cost—it’s about helping both people get healthy, whether or not the marriage survives. “The greatest hope for a reconciled marriage is two healing people—not one healing while the other continues to harm.” 5. Community Is Essential—For Both the Betrayed and the Struggler Nick explains how Pure Desire’s gender-specific recovery groups changed everything for both him and his wife. In community, they found tools, support, and the courage to stop hiding. “You cannot heal in isolation. We were never meant to carry this alone.”   💌 A Personal Invitation If you're feeling exhausted, stuck, or unsure if your marriage can survive the devastation of pornography, there is a path forward. Whether you're the one who struggles—or the one who’s been wounded—your healing matters. 👉 Learn more about Pure Desire Ministries and find recovery resources here: puredesire.org 👉 Looking for support for destructive or emotionally abusive relationships? Explore Leslie’s programs here: leslievernick.com   💖 Closing Encouragement Friend, if you're hanging on by a thread, hear this: God sees your pain. He hears your cries. And He cares deeply about your healing. You don’t have to keep doing the same destructive dance. Whether your spouse is ready or not, you can start getting healthy today. There is hope. There is help. And there is freedom—one courageous step at a time.

What if the marriage you fought to save was the very thing destroying you? In today’s raw and courageous episode, Leslie sits down with Naghmeh Panahi, a woman many first heard about when she passionately advocated for the release of her husband, Pastor Saeed Abedini, imprisoned in Iran for his Christian faith. But behind the public story of courage and faith, Naghmeh was quietly suffering in a destructive and abusive marriage. Naghmeh shares for the first time some of the hidden truths behind her story—how culture, Christian teaching, trauma bonding, and spiritual confusion kept her trapped in abuse, and how God gently led her out of the rubble and into healing. Her story is not just about abuse; it’s about redemption, truth, and discovering her worth as a cherished daughter of God. Whether you’ve questioned if your marriage is abusive, struggled to reconcile your faith with your suffering, or wondered if healing is even possible—this episode is for you.   💡 Key Takeaways from Today’s Episode 🔍 Abuse Isn’t Always Obvious—But Your Body Knows Even after experiencing physical violence, Naghmeh didn’t initially see herself as an abuse victim. Cultural and Christian teachings told her to be submissive, to not trust her feelings. But she shares how her body, her spirit, and God’s truth began revealing what her mind had been trained to ignore. 🚩 Early Red Flags and Trauma Bonding From the beginning, Saeed criticized her appearance, isolated her from her family, and crossed sexual boundaries during their courtship. These moments formed deep trauma bonds that left her feeling trapped. Naghmeh bravely names the molestation she experienced and the misplaced shame that kept her silent. 🛑 When Faith Is Twisted to Justify Oppression Raised in Middle Eastern and conservative Christian cultures, Naghmeh was taught to value the institution of marriage over her personal safety. But she powerfully unpacks how Jesus does not call us property—He lifts, honors, and protects women. She reminds us that the God of the Bible hates the oppression of women, not those who break free from it. 💔 From Rubble to Revival—God Rebuilds Naghmeh shares how, after her story went public, she endured severe backlash from the Christian community—but also found a deeper intimacy with God in the wilderness. Through tears, silence, and surrender, God slowly rebuilt her life, her joy, and her calling. 🌍 God Is Using Her—and He Can Use You Too Now leading a thriving ministry reaching Iran, Afghanistan, and beyond, Naghmeh testifies that God still uses broken women. Her story proves that divorce is not disqualification—and that freedom leads to fruitfulness. Her vibrant joy and spiritual strength are evidence of God’s redemptive power. 💌 Are You Ready to Step Out of the Rubble? If Naghmeh’s story resonated with you, know this: You are not damaged goods. It’s not too late. You can get out. You can heal. You can rebuild.   🙏 Closing Encouragement Sister, God never asked you to sacrifice your soul to save a marriage. He sees your pain. He honors your tears. And He’s not done with your story. Like Naghmeh, you may feel broken right now—but broken is not the end. It’s the beginning of something sacred, strong, and free. Let God rebuild the ruins. Let Him plant deep joy where sorrow once lived. You are His beloved daughter—and your healing brings Him glory. You are not alone.

Have you ever wondered if healing is truly possible after the deepest kind of betrayal? Maybe you’ve been carrying the weight of shame, confusion, or silence for years. Or maybe someone you love is walking that road and you don’t know how to help. In this honest and hope-filled episode, Leslie is joined by Tabitha Westbrook, licensed therapist, abuse recovery expert, and survivor, for one of the most vulnerable conversations we’ve had yet. Tabitha courageously shares parts of her own story of sexual abuse—both in childhood and in marriage—and offers profound insight into what real healing looks like. Together, Leslie and Tabitha explore how trauma impacts our bodies, our faith, our sexuality, and our relationships—and how God gently invites us toward wholeness. Whether you’re walking through this journey yourself or supporting someone who is, you’ll leave this episode with truth, compassion, and a renewed sense of hope. 💡 Key Takeaways from This Episode: 💔 Healing Isn’t a Straight Line—It’s a Sacred Journey Tabitha shares that healing happens in layers. Just when you think you're “done,” God may bring something new to the surface—not to punish you, but to lovingly bring it into the light. There is no shame in needing more healing. 🖐️ Your Body Wasn’t the Problem—Abuse Was For survivors, it’s common to disconnect from the body or view it as broken. Tabitha helps us reframe that: Your body isn’t your enemy. Gentle, safe touch—even starting with placing your hand over your heart—can begin the work of restoring trust and safety in your own skin. 💬 The Church Needs to Stop Being Silent Too often, women go to their pastors first—and are met with harmful advice or spiritual platitudes. Tabitha urges churches to get trauma-informed, stop shaming survivors, and become places of real healing, not deeper harm. 🕊️ Yes, We’re Talking About Sexuality—With Grace From reclaiming sexual health to navigating masturbation, orgasm, and pleasure after trauma, Tabitha speaks boldly and biblically about the realities many Christian women face. God designed sexuality to be good—and healing in this area is possible. 📘 New Resource: Body & Soul, Healed & Whole by Tabitha Westbrook We’re thrilled to celebrate the release of Tabitha’s brand-new book, Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control, launching April 1, 2025. This groundbreaking resource offers a biblically grounded, trauma-informed path to reclaiming your body and restoring your sexuality in a way that honors God and brings healing. Tabitha gently invites readers into truth, safety, and wholeness—no matter how broken or disconnected they feel. 👉 Order the book here: Tyndale House Amazon 🖊️ Don’t miss the companion workbook, launching the same day, to help you go deeper in your healing journey. If this episode spoke to your heart, don’t walk this path alone. Leslie’s Conquer Membership community is a safe, faith-based space for women healing from destructive relationships. Inside, you’ll find support, coaching, and biblical tools to help you walk in truth and strength. 👉 Learn more and join the waitlist here: www.leslievernick.com 🌟 Closing Encouragement Friend, if your story includes abuse, shame, or silence—please know this: you are not alone, and you are not beyond healing. God sees you. He is not afraid of your wounds. There is no part of your story too dark for His light, and no part of your heart too broken for His love. Take the next step. Speak the truth. Healing is possible—one brave choice at a time.

In a heartfelt conversation, life coach and neurodiversity advocate Jenilee Goodwin shares her journey from an emotionally destructive marriage to empowerment. She discusses the struggle of discerning between neurodivergent behaviors and emotional abuse, emphasizing the need for self-care and boundaries. Jenilee recounts her role as a pastor's wife, navigating the complexities of faith and motherhood while managing her husband's ADHD. Her story inspires listeners to reclaim their personal agency and listen to divine guidance amidst challenging relationships.