Awesome Marriage Podcast

Your marriage needs trust in order to be healthy. Without it, your connection with your spouse will fade, and you'll experience more conflict and tension, and less of the closeness and intimacy marriage is meant to have. Don't stay stuck like this! Turn things around by closing the trust gaps between you and your spouse and make your marriage a safe refuge for both of you. Episode highlights include: Areas where you might not realize you lack trust How to address it effectively with your spouse - without blaming How to have grace in the rebuilding process Tips to building financial trust Practical tips to become more trustworthy with completing tasks *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! QUOTES "Without trust in a marriage, the marriage just crumbles." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "We don't realize how valuable trust is until it's broken." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "Trust can be unique to the person and the situation." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "We have to own what's driving our trust-breaking behavior." - Lindsay Few "The budget isn't a prison, it's a plan. But sometimes it will be uncomfortable." - Lindsay Few "The sooner you go to counseling, the sooner you'll resolve your issues." - Lindsay Few "If you get stuck, you don't have to stay stuck." - Lindsay Few "Your spouse may make some mistakes, so look for Jesus in your spouse." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "I felt like he should trust me … but my action was not giving him anything to trust." - Lindsay Few MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Sign up HERE to get the Couple's Conversation Guide for each week's new episode We are bombarded with negative messages about marriage. FIGHT BACK with our Reframing Challenge If your marriage has been damaged by porn, the 5 Steps to Healing After Porn Betrayal webinar is a great first step to healing. Learn more or grab your spot here. Warm Up Your Marriage (Past Episode)

Today we answer some of the most frequently asked questions we hear about sex. Dr. Kim and Christina covered this on an episode in 2021, and we've distilled their conversation into the most timeless and practical answers to common sex questions. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. Episode highlights include: How often is "normal"? Dealing with dead sex drive Is oral sex ok in marriage? What about anal? Is there such thing as too much sex when trying to conceive? How to start talking to your kids about sex What do do if your spouse withholds sex *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! QUOTES "Guys, you have to continue to be romantic." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "I wanted my kids to talk to me about sex before they went to a friend or read it on a bathroom wall or a magazine. You want that door to be open." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "You need to honor each other and respect each other's body to honor God in marriage." - Christina Dodson "Guys, if you please your wife first, does it really matter when you orgasm? There's this unspoken pressure." - Christina Dodson "There's always an answer. I've never had a couple we couldn't figure out an answer for." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "Stay at the comfort level of the one who is least comfortable. If you do that, you're going to be ok." - Dr. Kim Kimberling MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Sign up HERE to get the Couple's Conversation Guide for each week's new episode Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier is a quick weekly email with actionable insights to grow your marriage. Sign up HERE! Resources we recommend for starting the sex conversation with your spouse Celebration of Sex Lovemaking Survey Resources we recommend for talking to your kids about sex: Don't Mom Alone Podcast Ep 328 Full Set - God's Design for Sex Series: Revised and Updated Edition by Stan Jones, Brenna Jones We're delighted to partner with The Sex Talk, an excellent online course to help you navigate this topic well

Trust in marriage is not one-size-fits all. There are many areas where your marriage needs trust in order to thrive, and some might matter to your spouse more than they do to you, and vice versa. So today we're talking about how to navigate any trust gaps you may have with your spouse, how to start the conversation about it, and rebuild what's been broken so you both feel more connected and secure in your marriage. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. Episode highlights include: Several types of trust marriages need, and why they matter The side effects of missing trust Simple steps to catch a trust slip-up so that trust is not broken Specific trust-killers you need to avoid How to build trust - and keep it *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! QUOTES "It helps to build trust if you accept me as I am, not as you wish I would be." - Lindsay Few "I may not even be aware if I did something that affected the trust, and I want to know." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "If it's important to her and it keeps coming up, I want her to tell me about it." Dr. Kim Kimberling "I'd be so offended when he didn't trust me, but when I think about the reality, I wasn't trustworthy." - Lindsay Few "Trust is between two people. It's not just your perception of yourself." - Lindsay Few "It's not like we quit making mistakes, it's just that we handle them differently now." - Dr. Kim Kimberling MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: What would happen if you took the next 4 weeks to reframe your spouse and your marriage with a biblical approach? Cultivate a better perspective – and a better marriage, with our Reframing Challenge Sign up HERE to get the Couple's Conversation Guide for each week's new episode Does your sex life need a reboot? Improve your sex life with our Locking Lips Kissing Game! If your marriage has been damaged by porn, the Marriage Undefiled Online Course provides a path to rebuild trust and repair your marriage. Click HERE to get the Couple's Conversation Guide for each week's new episode! The free printable Weekly Check Up is a simple way to keep short accounts and keep building trust.

Does lust have a place in marriage? What sets it apart from sexual desire? Today we're working through the reasons this question matters for your marriage, and how to have a marriage that glorifies God in every aspect, including how you steward your sexual desires. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. Episode highlights include: Defining the difference between lust and desire, biblically The godly purposes for sexual desire in marriage Specific reasons why misused sexual desire is destructive How to maintain purity in marriage Why porn affects your marriage even if your spouse doesn't know you use it *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! QUOTES "Lust is more about what you see, what you're attracted to and what it can do for you." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "In the Bible, it's not like they lived in a Puritanical culture at that time. No, it was probably every bit as bad…we just access things in a different way now." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "If we look at Scripture, lust was never mentioned in a positive light." - Lindsay Few "We won't ever clear that bar, but he's taken care of it through his life, death and resurrection, so there is grace and forgiveness." - Lindsay Few "The best sex is within the context of a Christian marriage." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "If it's reduced to that 'just get it over with' kind of situation, whoa. Red flag. The goal is not just to satisfy the urge, the goal is mutual enjoyment, pleasure, connection and building of the marriage." - Lindsay Few "Vulnerability is uncomfortable, but it can lead you to prevent something a lot more painful." - Lindsay Few MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: If your marriage has been damaged by porn, our free 5 Steps to Healing After Porn Betrayal webinar with Dr. Kim is a great first step toward healing Our Marriage Undefiled Online Course with Matt Cline takes a deeper look at ways to heal and restore your marriage Sign up HERE to get the Couple's Conversation Guide for each week's new episode Getting Your Sex Life Off To A Great Start by Cliff & Joyce Penner The Gift of Sex by Cliff & Joyce Penner The Best Way to Affair Proof Your Marriage (Past Episode) Does your sex life need a reboot? Improve your sex life with our Locking Lips Kissing Game!

Most couples are not going to be completely aligned with sex drive. There are a lot of factors that can cause this, but there are also a lot of solutions! Today we want to equip you to have a productive approach to making your sex life the best it can be in marriage. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. Episode highlights include: Why is it so hard to have a productive conversation about sex? Should the lower-drive spouse "just do it" for the spouse's sake? Why or why not? Why respecting your wife's drive level helps her feel sexy Ways to respect your spouse's drive *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: What would happen if you took the next 4 weeks to reframe your spouse and your marriage with a biblical approach? Learn how to have a better perspective – and a better marriage, with our Reframing Challenge Does your sex life need a reboot? Improve your sex life with our Locking Lips Kissing Game! If your marriage has been damaged by porn, the Marriage Undefiled Online Course provides a path to rebuild trust and repair your marriage. Click HERE to get the Couple's Conversation Guide for each week's new episode!

Do you hope to break generational patterns of pain? Are childhood hurts haunting your marriage? Today's guest Kristen Hallinan is a writer and speaker, and today she helps you see how to identify and break generational patterns to find hope, healing and redemption. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. Episode highlights include: How your past trauma can affects your current reactions What makes it so hard to break cycles Red flags of unhealthy family dynamics How to work with God to find his redemption Steps to making a redemption plan for your marriage *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! QUOTES "It can be easy to say, 'Why didn't I know better?' You didn't know better because that's all you knew." - Kristen Hallinan "The more I've gotten to know who God is, the more I understand who I am."- Kristen Hallinan "I used to believe if I just tried hard enough, I could grow up and create this perfect family." - Kristen Hallinan MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Sign up HERE to get the Couple's Conversation Guide for each week's new episode Learn more about how to make your marriage conflict healthy by joining Dr. Kim for the 8 Guidelines for Fighting Fair Webinar Dr. Kim recommends the book, The Body Keeps the Score Grab Kristen's book, Legacy Changer for more great info on the topic Follow Kristen on Instagram and check out her website

Today we are sharing the final episode with Kathy McAtee Young and her story of finding safety after decades in an abusive marriage. In this episode Kathy shares some of the barriers that prevent spouses in abusive marriages from seeking safety and help, ways to begin moving out of the abusive relationship, and the ways healing begins afterward. Don't miss the conclusion to Kathy's story. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. Episode highlights include: Reasons that abused spouse don't trust their own judgment Steps to get out of an abusive marriage Is it ever appropriate to intervene if you believe someone is being abused? What the process of healing looks like after you get safe *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! QUOTES "One of the hallmarks of an unsafe relationship is confusion." - Kathy McAtee Young "God sees you. He cares. And he is faithful." - Kathy McAtee Young "We don't want your pity. Compassion, yes. There is a difference." - Kathy McAtee Young "Healing is a lifestyle, not a finish line." - Kathy McAtee Young "When you can name it, then you can process it." - Kathy McAtee Young MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline : 800-799-7233 https://www.thehotline.org/ Visit Kathy's website to learn about the helpful resources and services she offers Kathy can also be reached for coaching on Instagram This previous episode explains a Biblical perspective on abuse Lies That Keep You With Your Abuser with Dr. David E Clarke | Ep. 541

Today in Part 2 of Kathy's story, Kathy shares the ways she sought support from the church when she realized her marriage was in trouble, the responses she received, and the effects that had on her marriage. In this episode Kathy shares why it's not possible for the abused spouse to end the abuse, and the difference between biblical versus unbiblical advice about abuse. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. Episode highlights include: Interventions the church put in place, and why they were not successful The wake up moment that turned things around for Kathy What is an appropriate response to spousal abuse? The red flags that advice or counsel about abuse is unbiblical *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! Red flags that advice or counsel about abuse is unbiblical They won't call out that abuse is abuse They will not call the abuse sin The safety of the abused spouse is not top priority There is no call for repentance They advise you to stay, regardless Blaming the abused for the abuse QUOTES "There is one person responsible for abuse: It is the abuser." - Kathy McAtee Young "The Bible definitely commands forgiveness. It does not command reconciliation." - Kathy McAtee Young MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline : 800-799-7233 https://www.thehotline.org/ Visit Kathy's website to learn about the helpful resources and services she offers Kathy can also be reached for coaching on Instagram This previous episode explains a Biblical perspective on abuse Lies That Keep You With Your Abuser with Dr. David E Clarke | Ep. 541

When does an unhealthy marriage become an abusive marriage? Where can you go when you need to get out? In today's episode we hear part 1 of Kathy's real marriage story. Kathy shares how she came to believe that divorce was the most God-honoring option in her situation, and how she found safety after 30+ years in an emotionally abusive marriage. We are so grateful to Kathy for generously sharing her story. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. Episode highlights include: Dispelling myths about who falls into abuse Why marriage counseling does not work in abusive marriages How Kathy learned her marriage was abusive Why she stayed as long as she did, and why she later divorced *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: This previous episode defines a clear Biblical perspective on abuse: Lies That Keep You With Your Abuser with Dr. David E Clarke | Ep. 541 QUOTES "I want to debunk the myth that abused women are poorly educated, lower income, women who can easily be taken advantage of. That's just not accurate." - Kathy McAtee Young "Within the first year, I knew we had trouble…" - Kathy McAtee Young "Marriage counseling does not work if there's abuse involved. I know that now." - Kathy McAtee Young "Most people who are narcissists are really good at it." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "You have this idea that, 'If she could fix all these things, then I wouldn't be this way.' That's the blame shifting." - Kathy McAtee Young "The heart of abuse is power and control. Everything else is tactics." - Kathy McAtee Young

Do you fight fair, or do you wish there was a referee to call a stop to the foul play when you argue with your spouse? Ground rules are an important step toward having healthy marriage conflict, so today Dr. Kim will spell out how to make sure you're fighting fair in your marriage. We want to empower you to fight fair, and resolve issues in a kind and loving way. If you need help to fight fair and truly resolve issues without making things worse, you will love today's conversation. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. Episode highlights include: The DOs and DON'Ts of fighting fair The side effects of unhealthy conflict A healthy way to "let it all out" Can honesty go too far? How do you know? Tips to the reconnection process - how to make up well *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! QUOTES "We both learned we needed to reconnect and apologize, but sometimes we werent' ready to take that step at the same time. We had to learn that somebody needs to take the step. It doesn't really matter who started the fight or who was wrong." "Taking responsibility is huge. Owning your part in it, even if you think you only did 10%, you still did 10%." "What are you sorry for? Be very specific in what you did and why you're taking responsibility." "I say it a lot: One of the best gifts you can give your marriage is to learn how to resolve conflict." Forgiveness and apologies need to have no strings attached. It's just that I choose to do this. We're not just trying to clear a slate so our spouse stops bugging us. Have you repented before the Lord? That's where this starts. We are accountable to Him before being accountable to our spouse. Did I just treat my spouse in the way He would have me treat them? If not, I need to take that up with Him QUESTIONS FOR YOU When you really think about it, how did it affect your spouse when you had this conflict? Repentance. Learning from the mistakes made and committing to work on them together. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Learn more about how to make your marriage conflict healthy by joining Dr. Kim for the 8 Guidelines for Fighting Fair Webinar Our Conflict Resolution Cheat Sheet is your quick guide to get marriage conflict on the right track. If you're ready to learn how to do conflict well, the Conflict Resolution Guide helps you diagnose the problem areas in your marriage, then learn the steps to resolve them. TODAY is the last day for our 7 Most Popular Resource Bundle! Don't miss the chance to get 7 of our most-loved resources for 1 donation of ANY amount in support of the ministry of Awesome Marriage! Get all the details here!