Secondhand Therapy

People-pleasing, fear of failure, and how your mom’s voice became your inner critic. Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______ Why is it so hard to say “I don’t know”? Why does being liked feel like survival? In this episode of Second Hand Therapy, we unpack people-pleasing, fear of failure, and the invisible ways our parents shape our inner critic. One host shares what therapy is revealing about his need to be “nice,” his terror of messing up, and how his relationship with his mother quietly programmed his fear of rejection. We talk about: People-pleasing as a trauma response Fear of failure and perfectionism Why being “nice” blocks real connection Feelings vs facts (and the stories we tell ourselves) Productivity as a substitute for self-worth Learning to say no without guilt Wanting your parent to be more — and turning that disappointment inward This episode explores how abandonment fear, emotional control, and self-worth get tangled together — and what it looks like to start unlearning those patterns in real time. We’re not therapists. We’re just two people in therapy, talking honestly about what we’re learning. If you struggle with people-pleasing, approval-seeking, fear of being disliked, or feeling like you’re never enough, this episode will hit close to home. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks

When someone yells at your mom: anger, boundaries, emotional control, and doing the right thing. ______ -BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______ What do you do when you hear someone raise their voice at your mom — and everything in your body wants to explode? Today, we unpack a tense holiday moment that forces a deeper conversation about anger, boundaries, family dynamics, and emotional regulation. Louie shares a confrontation with his mother’s partner, before reflecting on how rage, fear, and protection instincts show up — even after years of therapy. We also talk about: Navigating a complicated relationship with your mother Why “doing the right thing” can still feel awful Anger vs. self-control and what emotional maturity actually looks like Loneliness during the holidays and the push-pull of wanting connection Learning to validate yourself instead of tearing yourself apart What it means to be proud of yourself for the first time This episode is about breaking old patterns, choosing accountability over aggression, and learning how to sit with uncomfortable emotions instead of acting them out. We’re not therapists. We’re just two people in therapy, talking through what we’re learning in real time. If you’re struggling with family conflict, holiday depression, anger issues, or feeling behind in life, this one’s for you. Thanks for being here... Secondhand Therapy. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks

Lou still hates a mismatch as he struggles with his desire to be more vulnerable. Lou and Michael discuss what it means to ask for emotional support. Lou's therapist dropped a bombshell on where shame comes from, especially if you had emotionally immature parents or if your parents always fixed your mistakes for you. Lou takes care of everything and hates it and loves it. Lou and Michael talk about whether we are alone in life. Sidenote: you can hear the extreme winds that spread fire across Los Angeles, throughout the episode. We did our best with the audio. ______ -BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______ BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks

We welcome Jenny Zigrino to discuss loss, coping, addictive behaviors, and disordered eating—and what real recovery looks like when you stop avoiding the pain underneath it all. An honest conversation about grief, relapse, shame, emotional regulation, and learning healthier ways to cope when life feels overwhelming. ______ -BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______ In this episode, we have an honest, unfiltered conversation about grief, coping mechanisms, addiction, recovery, and eating disorders—and how deeply connected they often are. We explore how unresolved grief can fuel addictive behaviors, disordered eating, emotional avoidance, and unhealthy coping strategies, and what recovery actually looks like beyond surface-level fixes. We talk about substance addiction, behavioral addiction, food addiction, binge eating, restriction, relapse, emotional regulation, trauma responses, and shame, and how these patterns show up in everyday life and relationships. The conversation also touches on mental health recovery, therapy, self-awareness, harm reduction, relapse prevention, and building healthier coping tools when life feels overwhelming. This episode is for anyone navigating loss, grief, addiction recovery, eating disorder recovery, mental health struggles, or the long, nonlinear process of healing. It’s raw, compassionate, and focused on understanding—not judgment. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks

Michael starts off dissecting his newfound daddy issues and how validation and disappointment plays into his life before getting into his younger self. Lou and Michael get into their individual desires to express more gratitude. Lou explores the dichotomy of having a great life but not feeling great all the time before discussing EMDR. ______ -BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______ BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks

Louie’s therapist tells him his “direct communication” is actually defensiveness — and it sends him into an identity spiral. We talk about fear, softness, control, relationship triggers, autism traits, wanting to be chosen, and why saying “I’m scared and sad” feels like death. ______ -BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______ We dig into the messy reality of defensiveness, vulnerability, emotional expression, fear, control, and communication patterns inside relationships. Louie shares how his therapist told him that his “direct communication” is actually a defense mechanism, and the conversation spirals into emotional avoidance, softness, and why saying “I’m scared and sad” feels impossible. We break down: Why “direct communication” can actually be emotional defensiveness How vulnerability gets blocked by masculinity, shame & fear Autism traits, miscommunication, and not hearing what isn’t said Wanting to be chosen, fear of losing connection, and relationship insecurity Control vs. fear: trying to protect connection vs. micromanaging outcomes How delivery affects emotional safety (soft vs. blunt communication) Why asking for comfort feels like weakness Emotional funks, depression cycles, ADHD patterns & medication fears Relationship honesty, lying, guilt, and the messy ethics of confession It’s raw, chaotic, vulnerable, funny, and painfully relatable — the perfect mix for a mental health, relationships, therapy talk podcast. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks

Michael talks about shutting down over Thanksgiving, emotional numbness, and the messy reality of grief. Louie breaks down triggers, embarrassment, childhood patterns, and why certain moments feel like personal attacks. ______ -BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______ In this week’s episode of Secondhand Therapy, we unpack the complicated mix of grief, emotional numbness, triggers, anger, and childhood conditioning that still shapes adult reactions. Michael opens up about spending Thanksgiving in bed, feeling emotionally shut down, and exploring why certain moments hit harder than others. Louie challenges him on avoidance, grief processing, and the stories we tell ourselves when intense emotions show up. We also dive into: Why holiday grief hits unexpectedly Emotional numbness vs. dissociation Organizing grief so it stops overwhelming everything How embarrassment and shame block emotional release Anger, frustration, and “pretending” to be healed Nervous system triggers and why they feel like aggression Childhood patterns around attention and how they show up in adulthood Customer service, disappointment, and why small moments can activate big wounds This is a raw, honest conversation about grief, emotional regulation, inner child responses, triggers, vulnerability, self-awareness, and healing,. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks

Louie shares a dream about his late partner that cracks open a huge conversation about grief, avoidance, triggers, and what it means to actually move forward. Michael challenges him, things get tense, and it turns into one of our most honest episodes yet. ______ -BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______ In this deeply personal episode of Second Hand Therapy, we unpack dreams, grief, unresolved emotions, and the complicated ways they show up in everyday life. Louie opens up about a dream involving his late partner and how it challenged his beliefs around meaning, symbolism, and emotional closure. Michael pushes back with questions about avoidance, grief processing, and what it means to “move forward” after loss. Together, we explore: How dreams connect to subconscious processing The difference between honoring grief vs. being defined by it Avoidance, emotional triggers, and why they resurface years later How unresolved childhood and adult grief compounds Moving forward without “leaving someone behind” What it looks like when grief unexpectedly “finds you” This episode is a vulnerable, honest look at grief, trauma, emotional regulation, subconscious processing, healing, and the messiness of being human—delivered with the same humor, tension, and real friendship you expect from this show. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks

Jeremy Lipkowitz breaks down porn addiction, how it affects your relationships, and why it’s more common than people think. He also talks about his time as a Buddhist monk and what that life taught him about discipline, desire, and mindfulness. _____ -BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III _____ Jeremy Lipkowitz joins us for a deep, honest conversation about porn addiction, how it develops, and the real ways it impacts mental health, relationships, intimacy, and self-worth. We explore what porn addiction actually is, how it shows up in everyday life, and why so many people struggle with shame and secrecy around it. Jeremy also shares his powerful story of becoming a Buddhist monk, how mindfulness reshaped his relationship with desire, and what monastic life taught him about emotional regulation, discipline, and self-compassion. If you're curious about addiction, mindfulness, or the psychology behind our habits, this episode hits all the big questions. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks

Louie gets a wild text from his dad and things spiral into talk about cynicism, giving (and taking) compliments, and why we chase what we’re “missing out on.” _____ -BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III _____ Louie gets a surprising text from his dad—and it sparks a conversation about how we process emotion, self-worth, and connection. In this episode, we unpack why giving and receiving compliments can feel so uncomfortable, how cynicism masks vulnerability, and what “missing out” really means when it comes to FOMO. Michael opens up about his ongoing struggle with accountability—and Louie calls him out on it. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks