Life Over Coffee

Sometimes in life, you have to get into a conflict with someone. This dreaded reality is not a wish, desire, or prayer request but rather a common-sense perspective that comes with living in a sin-cursed world. It is impossible to have two or more humans living close to each other for an extended period and not have relational conflict. Sin does not accommodate our desires for peace or present a path of least resistance. Dealing with reality is a better starting point than pretending that bad things will never happen. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/there-are-times-when-you-have-to-get-into-conflict/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Marriage is hard. That may not sound spiritual, but it’s certainly biblical. From the moment sin entered the garden, marriage has been both a battlefield and a blessing. And if you’ve ever tried to love someone as much as you love yourself, you know the cost. That’s why this book matters. In Marriage or Mayhem?, I offer more than principles—I offer a framework, a theology, and a map. With years of experience counseling couples in crisis and equipping churches to disciple well, I learned a few things about getting beneath the surface. I name the real problems—idolatry, self-centeredness, functional theology—and bring the only real solution: Christ at the center. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/chapter-eleven-marriage-or-mayhem-marriage-defined/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

The title sounds careless and possibly scary, but before you blow a gasket, let me ask, “Have you reached sinless perfection yet?” We can pretend there is a secret in all our lives, but the truth is that it is not a secret at all: we still sin against God and each other. We might love God and others as we love ourselves, but we most certainly sin against God and others, too. This undeniable truth is a call to action to prepare for the inevitable. Like a wise financial steward who knows hard times are coming, he budgets for those difficult days. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/budget-sin-into-your-small-group-experience/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Your friends are deeply distressed about the sudden change in their teenage son’s behavior. Once known for his gentle demeanor, he is now withdrawn, frequently angry, and openly disrespectful toward them. Their concern deepens when they discover, after persistent questioning, that their son has been engaging in self-harming behaviors, specifically cutting. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-bug-off-an-angry-teen/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

There is a common rhetorical move in contemporary trauma-informed care conversations that sounds compassionate on the surface but is deeply reductionistic underneath. It frames care in terms of a binary: instead of asking, “What is wrong with you?” we should ask, “What has happened to you?” That contrast is often presented as enlightened and humane. The first question is portrayed as accusatory, shaming, harsh. The second is portrayed as empathetic, validating, and safe. That binary is not only simplistic; it is misleading. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-569-the-false-choice-in-trauma-informed-care/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable and Biff have enjoyed a beautiful relationship during their seven years of marriage. They have two children, ages five and two. However, Mable is facing a challenging situation with her mother, who has been pressuring her to spend more time with her during the week. Mable’s father is passive, and her mother has always been the dominant figure in the home. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/how-do-i-honor-my-older-parents/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Biff and Mable adopted Biffina when she was a toddler, bringing her into their family with high hopes and good intentions. Now, years later, Mable has begun referring to Biffina as her “practice child,” a term that reflects her frustration and disappointment over Biffina’s rebellious behavior. In contrast, Mable describes their biological daughter, Biffette, as easier to parent, further widening the relational gap between the family members. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-practice-parenting-with-adoptive-kids/

Show Notes: Rick Thomas interviews Jonathan Tepper, the author of Shooting Up: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Addiction, a coming-of-age memoir set in Madrid’s San Blas neighborhood during Spain’s heroin and AIDS crisis. Raised by missionary parents who founded a drug rehabilitation center at the height of the epidemic, Tepper tells a gritty, lyrical story of addiction, recovery, faith, and loss, as seen through the eyes of an American boy growing up in the middle of it. Watch or Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-568-jonathan-tepper-shooting-up-a-memoir-of-love-loss-and-addiction/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable laments, “This is not what I signed up for,” reflecting her deep regret over their 11-year marriage. Their relationship has stagnated, feeling more like two individuals cohabiting than a unified partnership. Biff spends his time at work with his friends while Mable escapes into her routines, often turning to cyber friends on social media for connection. Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-no-more-fun-with-biff-and-mable/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.

Mable feels trapped in a marriage where her husband, Biff, has emotionally and relationally checked out. His indifference has tempted her to find self-worth through a series of surrogate husbands, such as achievements, ministry, and activities, none of which have provided the fulfillment she craves.  Read, Watch, Listen: https://lifeovercoffee.com/case-study-confession-of-an-imposters-wife/ Will you help us to continue providing free content for everyone? You can become a supporting member here https://lifeovercoffee.com/join/, or you can make a one-time or recurring donation here https://lifeovercoffee.com/donate/.