The Terri Cole Show

Most little girls grow up being cared for by their mothers. Some little girls grow up caring for their mothers. This episode is for the second group. We are talking about parentified daughters. What it means, why it happens, and how it may still be impacting your life now. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/829

I've always said that our relationships are the mirrors of our internal world, but what happens when you realize a friendship has reached its expiration date? In this episode, I'm joined by the incredible Alex Elle (New York Times bestselling author of The Company We Keep) to dive deep into the "taboo" side of friendship. We're talking about why it's okay to outgrow people, how to handle that "visceral" feeling of misalignment, and why some of our most sacred bonds are actually voluntary. If you've ever felt like you're walking on eggshells with a friend or struggling with the guilt of moving on, this conversation is for you. We're curing the "disease to please" and learning how to cultivate a VIP section that actually feels safe. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/828

We talk about everything now. Trauma, therapy, childhood, the things that happened to us, and the things we are still working through. Almost everything is fair game. Except this one. When the relationship with your mother is a painful one, the cultural agreement is that you keep it to yourself. On today's episode, I'm sharing why that's a bad idea and what you can do to break the taboo. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/827

Struggling with anxiety or overthinking? Learn the science of EFT Tapping for instant stress relief and nervous system regulation. In this episode, I'm joined by New York Times bestselling author Jessica Ortner to dive into her brand-new book, Rewired. Jessica reveals the science behind EFT Tapping and how it can literally lower your cortisol by 43% in minutes. We explore why your brain gets "stuck" in loops of overthinking and how to send a signal of safety to your nervous system so you can finally feel at ease. Whether you're struggling with self-sabotage, boundary-setting, or parenting anxiety, Jessica's approach is a total game-changer. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/826

If you had a mean or rejecting mother, you probably learned early not to talk about it. People don't want to believe it. They say things like "you only have one mother" or "she did her best," and suddenly you're defending your own experience to someone who can't imagine having it. That isolation is often the first wound. This episode continues the mother wound conversation from last week. While every story is different, there are patterns I've seen consistently across almost 30 years of clinical work with daughters of mean and rejecting mothers. Here's what the research and the therapy room both show. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/825

Is it possible to heal when the person who raised you continues to cause chaos? In this episode, Terri sits down with journalist and editor Ashley Oerman to dismantle the stigma surrounding toxic family dynamics. Following the viral conversation sparked by recent national debates on family estrangement, they dive into the heart of a question many struggle with: Do you have to go "No Contact," or is "Low Contact" a viable path to peace? From her "origin story" in therapy to the realization that her social anxiety was a symptom of a deeper family wound, Ashley offers a roadmap for anyone grieving the relationship they never had. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/824

Have you ever wondered if your relationship with your mother was normal? Or noticed patterns in your adult relationships and traced them back to something that happened long before you had words for it? Mother-daughter relationships can be among the most complicated we ever have. Whether the dynamic between you was loving, painful, confusing, or somewhere in between, it impacted you. After almost 30 years as a clinician, I've seen seven recurring archetypes, and that's what this episode covers: what each one looks like, and the lasting impact it can have on your adult life. One thing before we start. Mother here means whoever raised you. It could be a grandmother, an older sibling, or an aunt. What matters is the dynamic, not the biology. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/823 Find my mother wound course at terricole.com/motherwound

Is the "Male Loneliness Epidemic" actually a human connection crisis? I'm sitting down with clinical psychologist Dr. Morgan Anderson to break down why avoidant attachment is skyrocketing and how we can rebel against a system that keeps us isolated. In this episode, Dr. Morgan shares her personal journey from "relational trauma" to becoming a secure attachment expert. We dive deep into the rising trend of AI partners, why "over-functioning" is killing your joy, and the radical power of becoming a "Love Scientist." Whether you're navigating the apps or trying to heal a long-term partnership, this conversation is your roadmap to secure, high-IQ love. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/822

Vic and I were watching a Richard Feynman lecture on YouTube recently, one of those deep dives into time, space, and quantum physics that makes your brain hurt in the best way. What struck me wasn't the physics. It was something underneath it, about how much we love certainty, how hard our minds work to manufacture it even where it doesn't exist, and how that love of certainty quietly limits what we allow ourselves to imagine as possible. That's what today's episode is about. Most of us spend a lot of energy trying to get one life right. The perfect career, the right relationship, the path that doesn't disappoint anyone. And underneath all that effort is anxiety, because if there's only one right choice, the margin for error feels very small. The Odyssey Plan, which comes out of the Designing Your Life program at Stanford University, starts from an entirely different premise. There isn't just one life that's right for you. There are multiple versions that could make you happy, fulfilled, and aligned. The exercise doesn't ask you to blow up your life or make any decisions at all. It asks you to expand what you allow yourself to see as possible. That's it. Just that. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/821

Whether you struggle with the fear of abandonment or you tend to shut down when things get close, this conversation is for you. In this episode, I'm joined by psychotherapist Trevor Hansen to discuss why so many of us get stuck in the attachment style "research phase" and how to actually rewire your brain for secure attachment. We dive deep into the "origin stories" that drive our adult behaviors, the hidden link between anxious and avoidant styles, and a powerful "voice note" tool you can start using today to meet your own unmet needs. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/820