The Art of Charm

Jonathan Fields (@jonathanfields) is a dad, husband, entrepreneur, and award-winning author -- most recently of How to Live a Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science, and Practical Wisdom. The Cheat Sheet: How do we make sure we're not overextending ourselves in some areas of our lives while neglecting others? A good life is more about meaning than happiness -- happiness is a byproduct. What's the Good Life Bucket model, and how can we apply it to our own lives? Learn how to break out of autopilot and live a more reactive life that gives back in proportion to what you put into it. Take the Snapshot360 Quiz to discover how your buckets of vitality, connection, and contribution currently score (and how you can improve them). And so much more... Gentleman's Box is a men's subscription service that provides men around the world with four to six men's style and grooming essentials in a monthly box. Use promo code "CHARM" at checkout to save $5 off any subscription option at Gentleman's Box here! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! The One You Feed is a podcast by Eric Zimmer and Chris Forbes that hosts inspiring conversations about creating a life worth living. Check it out here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/584/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm (@TheArtofCharm) talks about imposter syndrome and how to cope with the feeling you'll be uncovered as a fraud for being unworthy of what you've worked hard to achieve. [Photo by xmith xmith] The Cheat Sheet: Do you ever feel like you've gotten undeserved reward or recognition from accomplishing something -- and it's just a matter of time before someone uncovers you for the fraud you are? This phenomenon is known as imposter syndrome. Almost everyone experiences this at some point -- but it's especially prevalent among high-performers. Imposter syndrome is often suffered silently, because the person experiencing it usually doesn't realize it's not unique to them and that there's a name for it. What lesson can The Ramones teach us about overcoming imposter syndrome? Learn why keeping a journal helps remind us of what we've achieved when we're in doubt of our credentials. And so much more... DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! If you're only going to take one supplement to boost energy, balance nutrition, and aid digestion, then Athletic Greens, with its 76 natural ingredients, is what we recommend. Art of Charm listeners get 50% off here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/583/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. We all have emotional buttons that set us off for some reason or another. But we don't have to be at their mercy if we understand where they come from and what they're trying to tell us. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: The emotional buttons that set us off aren't logical, but they can be identified and defused logically. These emotional buttons are most easily pressed by those who are closest to us. They know how to push them because they're the ones who helped install them in the first place! The root cause of why these emotional buttons are so powerful is due to one of two things: it calls attention to something that's partially true and bothers us about ourselves, or it's contrary to one of our core values and it offends us deeply. This week, try to observe what emotional buttons are most easily triggered and try to determine which of these two reasons applies. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Adam Corolla Show, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/mm36/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: What is Jordan's background in law enforcement? Some listener feedback for Troubled in Tennessee from Fan Mail Friday #94 by someone who's been there before. Why don't we cover business and fitness topics more often? How do we offer grief support to others in a way that serves them best? (Thanks to the LifeProTips subreddit for help with this one.) A listener of shorter stature worries that he's taken on a small personality. A couple of questions about cultural identity in the United States. Quick shoutouts to PJ and Jameel Kassouri! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter "ART OF CHARM" in the how you heard about us section. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf97/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mind Pump (@MindPump) hosts Adam Schafer, Justin Andrews, and Sal Di Stefano talk podcast shop, communication, business, the changing face of courtship, and more with Jordan in this longer format conversational episode. The Cheat Sheet: How does Jordan bottle his own special brand of podcast magic when a good interview at The Art of Charm runs longer than anticipated? What do your good friends really mean when they tell you to "just be yourself?" What does a day at AoC residential Bootcamp look like (and why are women coached separately)? What are the most common pitfalls that ruin new relationships, and how has courtship changed since the '70s? Do you keep forgetting about all those nonverbal communication skills whenever you're actually mingling in the real world? Learn the Doorway Drill to convey confidence as an automatic habit. And so much more... Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! If you're only going to take one supplement to boost energy, balance nutrition, and aid digestion, then Athletic Greens, with its 76 natural ingredients, is what we recommend. Art of Charm listeners get 50% off here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/mind-pump-raw-truth-episode-582/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gavin de Becker (@gavindebecker) is the the author of The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence and the security pioneer who designed the MOSAIC Threat Assessment Systems used at the top levels of government. This is the second part of a two-part series (check out part one here). The Cheat Sheet: Why is "no" the end of the discussion for a man, but the beginning of a negotiation for a woman in our culture? Understand why you should be wary of the unsolicited promise. Should we try to join our intuition to our intellect, or do the two work better on their own? Learn the difference between worry and fear -- why worrying is ultimately useless while fear can save your life. Try the Rule of Opposites exercise to calibrate your intuition in the moment. And so much more... Casper makes hybrid mattresses that combine premium latex foam with memory foam -- and won't charge you an arm and a leg for them. Get $50 toward any mattress purchase here by using promo code AOC! Wearing a stylish timepiece shouldn't break the bank. Art of Charm listeners can find out why MVMT is the fastest-growing watch company in the world for 15% off with free shipping and free returns here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! You know James Altucher -- he's been on The Art of Charm, and Jordan's been on his show. We share a lot of similar guests, but we ask different questions. Check out The James Altucher Show here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/gavin-de-becker-gift-fear-pt-2-episode-581 HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. As much as we might wish otherwise, personal growth isn't a comfortable process. AppSumo and OkDork's Noah Kagan rejoins us for this Minisode Monday to talk about how we can at least make sure it's a good discomfort rather than a bad discomfort. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: In order to grow, you have to step outside of your comfort zone. Not all discomfort is guaranteed to help you grow. Learn to tell the difference between the "good" discomfort that teaches you valuable lessons and "bad" discomfort that puts you through some kind of an ordeal without benefiting you in any way. Noah compares eating so much food that you can barely waddle away from the dinner table (bad discomfort) to going for a seven-mile walk with a good friend that results in sore legs -- but stronger muscles and better endurance -- and excellent conversation (good discomfort). Sometimes your brain will try to convince you the discomfort on the intended path ahead is bad when it's really good -- we're excellent at making excuses to avoid discomfort entirely. This week, try to step outside of your comfort zone in a way that promotes good discomfort. Noah recommends something simple: "Get out your phone right now and text someone something you wouldn't normally text them." It's an easy way to work out your discomfort muscle with minimal danger (though Jordan offers a few caveats you'd be wise to consider first). To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! If you're only going to take one supplement to boost energy, balance nutrition, and aid digestion, then Athletic Greens, with its 76 natural ingredients, is what we recommend. Art of Charm listeners get 50% off here! Listen to The Art of Charm, Beyond the Darkness, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/mm35/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: If you listened to our recent episode with Darya Rose, you understand the importance of creating good habits without having to fall back on willpower. But where do you begin? More feedback on jealousy in response to the actress whose boyfriend has trouble with her romantic scenes, and advice given by another listener. While listening to our most recent episode with Susan Winter about breakups, a listener who recently went through a breakup was prompted to write in for advice about getting back into the dating game. The catch: she has HSV and dreads the responsibility of telling potential new partners. A casual relationship had to hit the brakes because your partner's mother passed away. It's a few months later and you want to pick up where you left off. How do you know if the other person's ready -- and what should you do if they're not? [For reference, Kimberly Seltzer talks about covert contracts a bit here.] If the married person you're having an affair with stops having sex with you because they've discovered you watch porn, there may be other issues at play here. You probably already know what our advice is going to be here, but come along for the ride anyway, won't you? Shoutouts to Jeremy Ashton from the HATponics crew and the CHS Lions Powers of Hope team who build aquaponics systems in Jamaica to help deaf kids grow food, and Meredith from her crazy dad in Wuxi! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf96/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Linda Carroll (@Lovecycleslinda) rejoins the show to discuss how we often label the other person in a relationship as "the crazy one" and why we need to examine where we land on the narcissistic continuum. Linda is a therapist and author of Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love. The Cheat Sheet: After a painful breakup, have you ever casually referred to the estranged party as your "crazy ex?" It's common to chalk up the strains of complex human dynamics as the results of someone else's mental disorder when we want to avoid taking personal responsibility for them -- and this is dangerous. While a real narcissist is hard to find, we all land somewhere on the narcissistic continuum. Learn what we can do if we think we or someone we know and love might be in a relationship with a narcissist -- or even be one. Understand the difference between being a true narcissist and exhibiting narcissistic qualities. And so much more... Are you trying to hire the right person for your business, but the best candidates keep slipping away? Let ZipRecruiter -- the fastest way to hire great people -- help you screen only the best here! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter "ART OF CHARM" in the how you heard about us section. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/580/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gavin de Becker (@gavindebecker) is the the author of The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence and the security pioneer who designed the MOSAIC Threat Assessment Systems used at the top levels of government. The Cheat Sheet: Violence is a reality -- if you're not prepared for its possibility, you'll be caught off guard by its eventuality. Learn how to hone your sixth sense for danger. Discover how to spot the red flags that signify someone as a likely abuser, con artist, or predator. How can technology paired with human intuition protect us from people who mean us harm? How literal is the term "gut feeling?" And so much more... If you're only going to take one supplement to boost energy, balance nutrition, and aid digestion, then Athletic Greens, with its 76 natural ingredients, is what we recommend. Art of Charm listeners get 50% off here! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! You know James Altucher -- he's been on The Art of Charm, and Jordan's been on his show. We share a lot of similar guests, but we ask different questions. Check out The James Altucher Show here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/gavin-de-becker-gift-fear-episode-579/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices