The Art of Charm

Toxic relationships exist in all of our lives in varying degrees, but defines a toxic relationship, how can you identify toxic relationships in your life, and what can you do if you find out you are exhibiting toxic behavior?What to Listen For What is the definition of toxic when it comes to relationships? How do you recognize when a relationship is toxic and what can you do to rectify the situation or walk away from it? What are the 7 surefire ways of identifying a toxic person and what is the best way to handle How can you recognize when you are the toxic half of a relationship and what can you start doing now to make sure you don’t ruin the relationship? What 2 simple questions can you ask yourself to determine if a relationship is toxic? Can you rid yourself completely of toxic relationships? What does it mean to be high value? What are 3 high values behaviors you can identify in non toxic individuals and how can you implement them in your own life? What does it mean to exhibit cooperative behavior and why is it important if you want healthy relationships and significantly less stress? Toxic individuals and toxic relationships are an unavoidable part of interacting with other people. It’s a numbers game - if you meet enough people you will eventually bring toxic people into your life. That’s ok, what matters is how you handle the situation once it’s in front of you. And while toxic relationships can have a damaging impact on your life in a variety of ways, it’s important to remember that the toxic individuals are still human, and aren’t necessarily bad - they’re just bad for you.We all go through phases in our lives and each of these phases asks different things of us and of those people we bring into our lives. It’s important for you to be conscious of what is good for you and what is detrimental, and just because a relationship or friendship is toxic for you at one time it does not necessarily mean that person can never be a part of your life. Establish boundaries, allow yourself to forgive from time to time, and prioritize your health and your needs - always put your oxygen mask on before helping the person next to you.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/charm for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain”Resources from this EpisodeEpisode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness | w/ Russ HarrisCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Fortune favors the bold” right? But what does it mean to live your life with boldness, how is it related to fear and the overcoming of fear, and in what ways is it different from simply having confidence?What to Listen For Do you have to be confident in order to be bold and why should you want to develop your boldness? What can you do on a daily basis to practice boldness? What steps can you give your children so they can develop strength and boldness in order to better succeed in life? What stands in the way of people bringing boldness into their relationships? How can not being your authentic self damage your relationships and prevent you from moving up in your professional life? How much time is too much time spent trying to improve toxic relationships in your life before it’s acceptable to walk away from them? How can you be more authentic in your relationships and how can being less authentic damage your relationships? If you are facing a loss what can you start doing to cope with the loss to ensure you’re still able to be happy? If you feel like you need a break from socializing, will it damage your relationships to take time off to recharge? How do you know if your social circle truly has your back? What can you do to maintain long distance friendships if you feel like you’re bad at it? If confidence comes from exposing yourself to the unknown and the unfamiliar until it becomes familiar, boldness is the willingness to act in the face of fear and uncertainty. So, in order to develop either one you must be willing to take action. None of us starts at zero - we all have some level of confidence and boldness to begin with, but to improve them we must take action.Practicing boldness will allow you to further increase your confidence, and increasing your confidence unlocks limitless potential in your life. But like any muscle or skill, if they are left alone they will begin to wither. Confidence and boldness must be exercised and practiced regularly in order to keep them growing, so get out there and start living your life with boldness.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Eight Sleep is the first bed engineered to improve your sleep through dynamic cooling and heating, detailed sleep tracking. For a limited time, get $150 off your purchase when you go to eightsleep.com/charmAre you sick and tired of paying high interest rates on your credit cards? Go to lightstream.com/charmProblems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards.Resources from this EpisodeGia HelenaLiving with BoldnessCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all go through various acts in our lives, and each act carries with it its own challenges and relationships, so how can you take the experience, battle scars, and lessons you learned in one act as you transition into the next?What to Listen For How did Kobe Bryant’s relationship with Phil Jackson influence his Wizenard series of books? Why is it important to embrace the adversity in life rather than avoiding it? What are the biggest life lessons Kobe wants you to take away from his Wizenard book series? Is vulnerability a sign of weakness? How does having children change you as a person and the way you perceive yourself? How can an unwillingness to go the extra mile actually be indicative of a fear of failure rather than simply avoiding extra work? How do you assemble an inner circle of people you can trust? If championships were Kobe Bryant’s Mt Everest in the past, what is his Mt Everest now and how is he going to conquer it? Who are Kobe Bryant’s mentors as he enters the 2nd act of his life? Life is a journey, not a destination, and if you look at your own journey you can usually split it up into segments, each with its own defining theme or challenge you had to overcome. The wonderful aspect of looking at your life in this way is that it allows you to identify what you learned and the strengths you gained from each segment. Every challenge you overcome in life strengthens you, grants you more wisdom, and makes you a more capable human overall.Adversity in life is key to strengthening you physically, mentally, and emotionally. We should not try to avoid adversity, but to seek it, embrace it, and rely on it to make us better.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Resources from this EpisodeGranity StudiosThe Wizenard Series: Training CampThe Mamba MentalityKobe Bryant on TwitterKobe Bryant on InstagramCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Positive psychology is a relatively new area of study and it’s garnered a ton of attention over the last few years - but what exactly is positive psychology, how is it connected to the relationships we have, and what can you start doing today to find more fulfillment, happiness, and success in life?What to Listen For What are the core teachings of positive psychology and how can you implement them to get through the lows of life? What is the danger of identifying yourself with work or hobbies or relationships and if those are not ideal, where should you draw your identity from? Rob Mack touches on cognitive agility and emotional regulation and why those two ideas help explain why so many people suffer from addiction Why is it unhealthy to perceive relationships as something to “complete” you and how should you look at them instead? What can you say to someone who is clearly playing the victim and help them move beyond it? What is the one thing we know about the effective therapies around the world and how can you use it to ensure you don’t push people away? Why can comparing yourself to others be detrimental to your happiness and how can you avoid the comparison trap? What can you do to make life cooperate with you and make those challenging times more manageable? How can you interact with toxic people in a manner that allows you to maintain your positive attitude? Happiness is both a choice itself, as well as the result of choices you make in various areas of your life. To be as happy as you want to be, you must take full responsibility for everything in your life, and that includes everything that happens to you. The more blame you try to shift onto other people and things, the more power you give away, and that power is what enables you to choose your happiness.On top of that, the people you spend time with absolutely have an influence over your ability to choose your happiness, making it harder or easier to make that choice. You can be happy and fulfilled around toxic people, but if it’s easier to be happy when you’re around people who support and encourage you and choose to engage you in positive conversations, why would you want to spend your time with anything but?A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Go to untuckit.com or visit one of UNTUCKit’s 50 stores across the US and Canada. Use promo code CHARM for 20% off your first purchase.Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/CHARM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain”Joybird is premium quality furniture, customized exactly how you want it. Go to joybird.com/CHARM and receive an exclusive offer for 25% off your first order by using the code CHARM.Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan.Resources from this EpisodeHappiness from the Inside Out: The Art and Science of FulfillmentRob MackCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dating expert Evan Marc Katz discusses the importance of compatibility vs. chemistry in long-term relationships. He provides tips for establishing good connections on dating apps, understanding women's preferences, and breaking off a relationship. Katz also explores the challenges of online dating and how to view it in a way that is not a waste of time and energy.

Smartphones and the apps that exist on them have blown the doors wide open when it comes to creating options in your dating life as well as giving you the (sometimes false) perception of keeping in touch with friends. But what are the drawbacks of relying on all these algorithms to meet new people, how can you ensure you’re actually nurturing the personal and professional relationships you already have, and what does the science tell us about the current state of our social lives?What to Listen For Are you more likely to meet your significant other on your own or through friends, and what does this mean for you? How have dating apps both improved and damaged the world of dating? Why can information overload have a negative impact on your love life and what can you do to control it? What are emotional bids and how can you use them to improve the relationships in your life, both platonic and romantic? What are Glue Guys/Girls and how do they hold teams together in a corporate/work environment, and what can you do to become one, reducing your chance of getting laid off and increasing your chance of getting that raise/promotion? How do gratitude and asking for help play an important role in the formation of strong bonds, and how can you start using both today to improve your relationships? Why is the act of validating others’ feelings so powerful, whether in a personal or professional setting, and why should you start doing it immediately? What one thing can you do to defuse gossip on the spot when someone can’t seem to stop gossiping to you about someone? At a surface level, romantic and professional relationships couldn’t appear more different: the intimacy, the way you speak to one another, the activities you engage in, etc.But the beauty of human connection is on a fundamental level we all want the same things. We want to be appreciated, we want to be valued, and we want to feel as if our thoughts and feelings matter.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!GREATS designs classically inspired sneakers for men and women using luxury high quality materials and construction. Go to greats.com and use CHARM at checkout!Live a healthier, happier, more well-rested life in just a few minutes a day with the Headspace app. Sign up now at headspace.com/CHARM to get a free month trial.Resources from this Episode“The National Survey of Health and Social Life” aka The Chicago Sex SurveyWhy Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship Episode 719Turning Toward Emotion Episode 720How to Improve Your Workplace Communication Episode 721What Matters Most in a Difficult Conversation Episode 722Wall Street Journal: Baseball’s Winning Glue GuysBeyond Reciprocity: Gratitude and Relationships in Everyday LifeSocial Isolation in AmericaPsychopath, Sociopath, or Idiots:Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4Check in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Filtering the right people into your life is a skill that can set you on the path to success if you can do it well, and failure if you do it poorly - but how do other people have such a strong influence on your life and what can you do to make sure the people in your life aren’t leading you down a road to failure and discontent?What to Listen For How do the people you surround yourself impact your ability to be happy and accomplish your goals? How can your life be influenced by the friends of friends you don’t even know and what can you do to mitigate the harm they cause? What are “value vampires” and how can you recognize them early on so they don’t waste your valuable time and energy? What does it mean to be a high value individual and how can your pursuit of it help you avoid pain, suffering, and massive hits to your confidence? What do high value individuals do that set them apart from others and lead them to be pursued by everyone else? What is a “friend audit” and how can you perform one to ensure you’re not spending time with the wrong people who are bringing you down or holding you back? Can you avoid the influence people around you have (especially when you work with them all day)? What is the difference between gossiping and venting and why is one dangerous while the other is healthy? What one question can you use to disarm people who try to gossip with you and shift the conversation into a constructive direction? When you allow a low value people into your life, you don’t just bring them into your life, but their friends, their problems, baggage, low value behavior, and values and beliefs. We as humans are influenced by our surroundings more than we think, and it can be a scary thought to confront the possibility that the people closest to you are doing the most harm when it comes to your ability to move forward in life and be happy. As scary and as hard as it might be, performing an audit of your social circle could be the first step in helping you achieve your goals and/or get unstuck if you feel your progress has stalled for a while.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards.Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/CHARM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domainResources from this EpisodeEpisode 693: Identifying Low Value BehaviorsEpisode 694: Becoming High ValueEpisode 719: Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a RelationshipEpisode 738: What Defines HappinessEpisode 739: The Key to HappinessEpisode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term HappinessEpisode 741: Train Your “Happy” | Q&A w/ Christoph Schnedlitz of hiMomenthiMoment AppCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happiness is not a destination, but what does it mean to enjoy the journey, especially when the journey is bound to have rough patches, and what daily habit can you start doing now to make the journey a happy one?What to Listen For How can journaling improve your overall happiness and what one question can you use as a prompt everyday to get you started on the right track? Why do the big moments we look forward to (graduation, wedding, promotion, etc) have little to no impact on our overall happiness? Is the difference between happy people and unhappy people the events in their lives or the way they perceive the events? If happiness is a choice, what can you do to maximize that choice? How do your friends, family, and coworkers influence your ability to be happy? If you’re going through a break up, what can you do to help mitigate the pain and sadness you feel so you don’t get stuck? How can striving for success for the wrong reasons lead to you failing to be happy? What is contributing to all of the misinformation about happiness? How do you deal with the endless potential comparison forced upon us by social media? Your happiness is like a muscle, one that needs regular training in order to get stronger and one that can atrophy if it is left alone for too long. You’re not going to get stronger if you train once or twice a year, so when it comes to your happiness, you’re not going to get happier if you rely on the occasional event throughout the year.The biggest difference between happy people and unhappy people is not the events in their lives, but the way they perceive the events in their lives. If you allow the events to determine how happy you can be, you’ll never be as happy as someone who decides to be happy regardless of the events in their lives.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Go to untuckit.com or visit one of UNTUCKit’s 50 stores across the US and Canada. Use promo code CHARM for 20% off your first purchase.Resources from this EpisodeEpisode 738: What Defines HappinessEpisode 739: The Key to HappinessEpisode 740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term HappinesshiMoment AppCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Russ Harris debunks myths about happiness and explains the importance of facing negative emotions for long-term happiness. He emphasizes defining values for a rich and meaningful life, tackling challenges with awareness, and translating values into goals to avoid stagnation.

Happiness is one of those ideas that has an endless number of quotes about where it comes from (and where it does not). We’ve heard many of them so many times we just wave them off and roll our eyes before jumping back on the hamster wheel and chasing the next piece of cheese, completely unaware of the trap we put ourselves in, but what does science say about what makes us happy, what do you need to start focusing on today in order to achieve your happiness, and what must you be aware of in order to give yourself the best chance of a long, healthy, and happy life?What to Listen For Why is it so difficult for us as humans to determine what makes us happy? AJ explains why reaching milestones in life or attaining your goals does not equate to overall happiness How has technology seemingly put happiness further out of reach? Johnny explains how cognitive biases keep us from achieving true happiness What is “miswanting” and why do we constantly sabotage ourselves by doing it? What is the Harvard Study on Adult Development and how can you use the findings to achieve your own happiness? How are happiness & health connected and what can you start doing today so you don’t lose both? AJ explains why our focus on achievement as a society can be detrimental to our development when we’re young Why are relationships so beneficial to our health and how can you determine whether or not yours are? If you are lonely, why can it be more difficult to find the resources to build the connections science has shown to be so vital to our long term health and happiness? Why is rejection and the handling of it so valuable in today’s society, especially if you don’t want to be lonely and unhappy? What are the physiological benefits of spending time with people you care about? There is an obvious reason reaching your goals or buying the next great thing does not bring you happiness - if only one thing in your life changes, the other 99% of your life is still the same. You can’t change one thing or achieve one thing or buy one thing and think it’s going to improve every other part of your life. Even if you could “upgrade” every part of your environment you’d still be the same person but with different surroundings, so if you’re not happy now, all those upgrades aren’t going to change who you are inside.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards.Resources from this EpisodeEpisode 738: What Defines HappinessHarvard study, almost 80 years old, has proved that embracing community helps us live longer, and be happierSocial Isolation in America: Changes in Core Discussion Networks over Two DecadesCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices