The Art of Charm

In today’s episode, we cover getting unstuck from your busy mind with Dr. Jessica Borushok. Jessica is an award winning author and recognized expert in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy who has helped hundreds transform their relationship with their thoughts and optimize their world. Busy minds keep many of us up late at night needlessly worrying, so what can we do to calm our minds so we can be more present and more productive and what does science say about why our minds race? What to Listen For What does science say about why our minds race when we’re bored? What are the two ways we use social media and which one is detrimental to your mental and emotional well being? Has technology made our minds busier, and if so, how do we deal with it? Is an affinity for worrying a result of nature or nurture? What question can you ask yourself to figure out if you’re worrying to solve problems or just worrying because you can’t quiet your mind? What can you do to calm your mind when it’s racing? What is the best way to connect with other people? How can you know how to be authentic if you don’t know who your authentic self is? What questions can you ask yourself to decide if your present actions are helping or hurting you? Our minds are great at manufacturing an endless stream of thoughts, but most of our thoughts are not worth our valuable attention, otherwise we would never get anything done. We also can’t just shut our minds off because it’s the mind’s job to never stop thinking, so what can you do if you feel you are constantly overwhelmed with what is going on between your ears? Most importantly, remember that you are not your thoughts - you are the observer of your thoughts. Your mind is like a roommate you can never kick out, so it’s crucial that you build a healthy relationship with it rather than trying to fight it. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/CHARM. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Resources from this Episode The Busy Mind Psychologist - Dr. Jessica’s website Dr. Jessica on Instagram Busy Mind Reboot: 30 Days to Your Best Self Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover imposter syndrome with Dr. Jill Stoddard. Dr. Stoddard is a psychologist, author of Be Mighty, speaker, co-host of the podcast Psychologists Off the Clock, entrepreneur, and women’s advocate. Imposter syndrome is a fact of life for anyone who is trying to push themselves and it can lead to extreme self-sabotage if left unchecked, so what can you do to overcome it, what does the science say about the topic, and how do you talk to people about it in order to move past it? What to Listen For What is imposter syndrome and what can you do to overcome it so you don’t sabotage your own success? Where does the research suggest that imposter syndrome comes from? Why do we struggle to internalize success and what can you do to change that so you don’t feel insecure about the work you do? What are the 5 subtypes of imposters and how can knowing yours help eliminate your insecurities? What can you do to overcome the fear or concern around asking for help? What can we do to counteract feelings of imposter syndrome and move forward from them? Why is understanding your values important to overcoming your imposter syndrome and what can you do to figure out what your values are? How do you deal with imposter syndrome if you’re constantly around people who don’t respond positively to you opening up and being vulnerable? Why is it easier to connect with people who are open and honest about their flaws? Imposter syndrome will always be a part of our lives if we are focused on improving ourselves, so while we cannot eliminate it, we can find ways to reframe it and minimize its impact on our daily lives. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Dr. Jill Stoddard’s website Be Mighty - by Dr. Jill Stoddard Psychologists Off the Clock - co hosted by Dr. Jill Stoddard The 5 Subtypes of Imposters by Dr. Valerie Young What are Your Core Values? Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover how to focus on what matters most with Dr. Steven Hayes. Steven C. Hayes is a professor and author of 44 books and nearly 600 scientific articles, his career has focused on an analysis of the nature of human language and cognition and the application of this to the understanding and alleviation of human suffering. It’s easy to let your life get derailed when you don’t have a solid understanding of what matters to you, but what can you do to determine your guiding values and how can you differentiate between the important thoughts you have and those that just distract you? What to Listen For What are the 6 processes can you implement to lead a more intentional life you find fulfilling? Why is the pursuit of good feelings and avoidance of bad feelings detrimental to the human experience? Why is it important to learn how to feel, and how do you learn how to appreciate “bad” feelings? What exercise can you do before seeing someone to put yourself in a great mood? How do you differentiate between thoughts that define you and thoughts that you’re experiencing, so you don’t have to feel like crap just because you’re thinking something negative about yourself? What can you do to define your values so you have a strong guiding compass in life and don’t get bogged down by insignificant details and failures? Should we trust our experience or our minds, and why can one lead to failure and time wasted? What are the 3 C’s that can lead you to a more clearly defined and fulfilling life? How can you deal with the thoughts that lead you to failure and avoidance? There are an infinite number of things we could think about in a given day, but we only have 24 hours to experience them, so the thoughts we choose to focus on can have a lasting impact on not just our mental well being, but our long term happiness and success. Not having a solid foundation of guiding values can make it all too easy to fall into a trap of focusing on thoughts, feelings, and experiences that hold you back from becoming the person you want to be. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Whether you’re communicating with your team online or working on a project, Grammarly is the digital writing tool you can always rely on to get your message across clearly and effectively, across mobile and desktop platforms. Get 20% off Grammarly Premium when you sign up at grammarly.com/charm. Resources from this Episode A Liberated Mind: How to Pivot Toward What Matters by Dr Steven Hayes Dr. Steven Hayes’s website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover belief systems with Dr. Stan Beecham. Dr. Beecham is a sport psychologist, the director and founding member of the Leadership Resource Center, and the author of Elite Minds: How Winners Think Differently to Create a Competitive Edge and Maximize Success. Beliefs define how we think about ourselves and the world around us, so what can you do to examine your own beliefs and understand if they are leading you to a better life or a worse one, and how can you change your beliefs if you realize they’re leading you down the wrong path? What to Listen For What questions can you ask yourself to better understand your beliefs and values and how they influence your behavior? Why is it important to the people around you for you to work on yourself and constantly strive to be better? Why is happiness the wrong goal to aim for if you want a fulfilling life, and what should you aim for instead? Why is it important to examine your values and beliefs? How do your beliefs and values influence your ability to pay attention and how will they prevent you from seeing a reality that will lead you to fail? How do you rewrite the beliefs that are holding you back so you don’t miss out on countless opportunities to be successful and lead a fulfilling life? How should we perceive confidence in a way that allows us to be more confident? What can you do to overcome the urge to compare yourself to others? What you believe influences how you perceive the world around you and what you get out of life. If you want to live a better life, achieve more success, or become the best version of yourself, it’s critical that you understand what you believe and why you believe what you believe. Going through life without an understanding of your beliefs and values is like wandering through a forest with a compass without understanding what north, south, east, and west are. Sure, you can follow the arrow on the compass because that seems normal, but will that get you to where you want to be? Only by sheer luck. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Elite Minds by Dr. Beecham Dr. Beecham on Twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Explore the importance of routines with Charles Duhigg, including how routines impact human behavior, sparking engaging conversations, and developing empathy. Learn how routines automate decisions, the significance of mindset in learning new skills, and the exercise to accept painful events. Dive into the power of empathy for personal growth and the distinction between seeking advice and venting. Discover the benefits of establishing a routine, consuming entertainment for creativity, and identifying trustworthy experts.

In today’s episode, we answer your questions and cover the All In Method with Alexandra Jamieson and Bob Gower. Alexandra is the bestselling author of five books, and co-creator / co-star of the Oscar-nominated documentary Super Size Me, and Bob is a New York-based consultant, writer, and speaker.All of us have different values and beliefs guiding us through life, and the differences between two people can lead to damaging friction if they are not dealt with directly, so what can you do to get everyone on the same page and working toward a common goal while respecting each other?What to Listen For What is the All In Method (AIM) and how can you use it to maintain and strengthen your relationships, especially with those you work with? What questions can you ask yourself and others to develop more empathy and strengthen relationships with those you care about or work with? What is the value of boundaries and how do you start a conversation about your boundaries? Why can being rigid with your boundaries lead to worse outcomes than having no boundaries? What are the common pitfalls that teams run into when trying to reach alignment? What can examining our boundaries teach us about ourselves and the relationships we form with others? What can you do as a parent to help your children break out of their shell so their lack of social skills don’t lead to constant failure and disappointment? How do you express curiosity in conversations with people you’re not genuinely interested in getting to know? Should you write down questions before going into an important interview or date or even an appointment? The more time we spend with other people, the more likely it is that differences in personalities, values, and beliefs will lead to conflict. If that friction is not taken care of, it can destroy relationships professionally and personally. It is best to be proactive about potential problems rather than reactive, as being reactive can often mean being too late to solve a problem. And being proactive means being willing to have conversations that aren’t always easy or comfortable.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Resources from this EpisodeRadical Alignment by Alexandra Jamieson and Bob GowerBob Gower’s websiteAlexandra Jamieson’s websiteCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover critical feedback and how to ask for it with Steve Herz. Steve is President of The Montag Group, a sports and entertainment talent and marketing consultancy, and a career advisor to CEOs, lawyers, entrepreneurs, and young professionals.Critical feedback is important for our growth, but asking for it and receiving it can be challenging because people who care about us are generally hesitant to tell us anything negative about ourselves, so what can we do to get the feedback we need to improve?What to Listen For Why is critical feedback important to our growth and success, and how can we get better at receiving it? What can you do to get the feedback you need to grow in a culture where people seem to coddle each other out of fear of how you might respond to critical feedback? How do you ask for feedback in such a way that allows people to feel comfortable offering critical feedback rather than just saying something to make you feel good? How much of your success is determined by your proficiency versus your ability to connect with others? What steps can you take today to improve your ability to effectively communicate and connect with others so you don’t get passed up on job opportunities and promotions? What is the 360 review and how can it save you from ending up in terrible situations? Why is warmth important in building relationships and why can your aversion to it lead to failure in life? What can you do to work on your humility? How do energy and warmth work together when you are interacting with others, and what can you do to improve both while staying true to who you are? Critical feedback is important because you only have your perspective on what you are doing. So if you are always doing something incorrect while you believe it to be correct, how are you going to correct what you’re doing wrong if no one tells you. Unfortunately, the people who know us best will likely be hesitant to tell us when we’re doing something wrong out of fear of confrontation, or hurting our feelings, or just wanting to avoid a potentially awkward situation. This means we must make it easy and comfortable for the people who care about us to give us the feedback we need to be our best selves.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Whether you’re communicating with your team online or working on a project, Grammarly is the digital writing tool you can always rely on to get your message across clearly and effectively, across mobile and desktop platforms. Get 20% off Grammarly Premium when you sign up at grammarly.com/charm.Resources from this EpisodeDon’t Take Yes for an Answer by Steve HerzSteve Herz’s websiteCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover what it means to achieve mastery of a subject or skill with Dr. Michael Gervais, a high performance psychologist working in the trenches of high-stakes environments with some of the best in the world, training the mindset skills and practices essential to pursuing and revealing one’s potentialMastering anything takes some talent, but it also takes consistent practice and a persistent mindset, so what can you do to cultivate the mindset required for mastery, what do you need to push through the pain along the way, and how can comparing your journey to others stop you from achieving your potential?What to Listen For What does it mean to achieve mastery of a skill or subject, and why can comparing our progress to others hinder our ability to achieve mastery? Why is it important for your mental and physical well being to live in the present moment? What steps can you take today to make sure you are focused on the present so you don’t get depressed about the past or anxious about the future? How important is your mindset if you already have talent and skill? How can you use self-talk to build your confidence so you feel comfortable taking on new challenges? What can you do to eliminate the self doubt that comes from comparing yourself to others? What question can you ask yourself to make sure you’re trying to get better rather than comparing your progress to others? How do you sort through conflicting advice on your way to mastering something? What can we do to let go of who we are now in order to become who we’re meant to be? Everyone is born with varying levels of aptitude in different areas, but just because you don’t have the genetics to be the best in the world at something, it doesn’t mean you can’t strive to master it. Mastery of a skill takes time, and if you didn’t win the genetic lottery, it’s going to take years of hard work. In order to push through the pain and suffering along the way, your mindset is as critical as your purpose, because if you don’t have a purpose guiding your mindset through the pain, the pain will win.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Resources from this EpisodeCompete to CreateFinding Mastery - a podcast hosted by Dr. GervaisDr. Gervais on TwitterCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Explore the concepts of leading without authority with guest Keith Ferrazzi. Learn how to inspire vulnerability and empathy in leadership, create strong bonds through intimacy, set boundaries for generosity, and recognize the 'blue flame' in others. Understand the importance of co-elevation in relationships and fostering a supportive tribe for success.

In today’s episode, we cover the 7 steps to unshakable confidence with David Nurse. David is an NBA life and optimization coach, future bestselling author, and worldwide motivational speaker.Confidence can be developed with consistent practice like any other skill, but what concrete steps can you take everyday to achieve the confidence you’ve always wanted?What to Listen For What is the common denominator of professional athletes that lead to success? Can you compare yourself to others in a healthy and positive way? How do you get people to be good teammates if they’re more concerned about themselves or their ego? What are the 7 steps you can take to achieve unshakable confidence? What does it mean to vote for yourself and why should you start voting for yourself now? What can you do to remind yourself of your potential to keep you from wasting time and falling into stagnation? What tips can you use to make your mornings and evenings effective parts of your day? How do you rewire your brain for the behavior you want, so your behavior doesn’t sabotage your relationships, your work, and your life? Confidence is not something we are born with, but a skill we develop over time. That means no matter your circumstances, you have a certain level of confidence and you can apply consistent practice over time to increase it. In fact, you can take small steps every day, and after enough small steps, you’ll have made leaps in progress. But you must be consistent and keep reminding yourself that no matter how confident you are, there is always room for improvement, so arrogance is never acceptable, as arrogance implies you already know everything you need to know.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Resources from this EpisodeDavid Nurse’s websitePivot & Go: The 29-Day Blueprint to Redefine and Achieve YOUR SuccessDavid Nurse on TwitterDavid Nurse on InstagramCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices