The Art of Charm

In today’s episode, we cover how to develop the confidence and fearlessness of Navy SEALS with Rich Diviney. Rich draws upon 20+ years of experience as a Navy SEAL Officer where he completed more than 13 overseas deployments. Since retirement in early 2017, Rich has worked as a speaker, facilitator, and consultant with the Chapman & Co. Leadership Institute and Simon Sinek Inc. Anyone can learn a skill, but the same cannot be said for attributes—so what is the difference between skills and attributes, how do you develop the attributes you do have, and how can you identify what your strongest attributes are so you can lean into them and be successful? What to Listen For Why did Rich Diviney want to be a Navy SEAL - 0:00 How did Rich’s SEAL training prepare him for the chaos and uncertainty of the pandemic? Why is it important to train both the mind and body when it comes to developing resilience? How did military life prepare service persons for the pandemic - 11:10 What is elemental human behavior and how does it drive you to act the way you do? What can you do to better understand what advice will actually help you and what advice will waste your time? How do you figure out the life best suited for you - 18:04 What is the difference between skills and attributes and why is one more important in times of stress or uncertainty? What does it take to develop an attribute and can anyone develop any attribute? How can we create opportunities to develop attributes? - 25:24 How do you know what attributes are worth developing and which ones are a waste of your time? What is the difference between narcissism and arrogance, and which one is actually good to have in healthy amounts? If you’re a narcissist, what can you do to mitigate it and keep it in control? What attribute is critical to problem solving? - 36:02 How do Navy SEALS face their fears and what can you learn from how they do it? What can you do to develop your courage? Why is it important for everyone to develop their ability to take responsibility? What can you do to develop your confidence? - 48:26 How do you define true confidence? What actually is fear and how do we develop the ability to work through it? How do Navy SEALS handle uncertainty and how can we apply it to everyday situations? The world is in need of more individuals who can identify their strengths. If you know your strong points, then it will be much easier for you to find work that matches those talents and skills so that you are able to excel at what makes the most sense for YOU! A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Connect with Rich Diviney on LinkedIn The Attributes by Rich Diviney The Attributes Self Assessment Tool Art of Charm Bootcamp! Core Confidence Coaching Program Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dive into the art of elevating small talk to deeper conversations. Discover the role of vulnerability in making meaningful connections and learn the cave analogy to guide your discussions. Unveil the FORD acronym as a tool for generating engaging questions. Hear strategies for sharing your experiences without seeming boastful. Finally, find out how to transform dialogue into a source of happiness and communal joy, enhancing both personal relationships and social interactions. Connect on a whole new level!

In today’s episode, we cover winning with Tim Grover. Tim is the CEO of ATTACK Athletics, a keynote speaker and consultant to business leaders, athletes (including Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade), and elite achievers, and is the preeminent authority on the science and art of physical and mental dominance and achieving excellence. Winning is something we all experience in a lifetime, but what does it take to win at winning, how do winners manage their time with everything else they do, and what do you need to do if you want to be the best at what you do? What to Listen For How did Tim Grover get his start working with Michael Jordan - 0:00 How do you build trust with clients when starting out as a trainer or coach? What do elite performers do to manage self-doubt and insecurity, and what can you learn from how they do it? The three categories of winners and their mindsets - 10:54 What 3 categories can individuals be broken down into and why will being in 2 of the 3 categories prevent you from being the best at what you do? How do you need to approach failure if you want to be a winner? What mindset do you need to stay ahead of everyone around you who is also trying to win? Why is it not enough to only know the fundamentals if you want to win? What do you need to look for to make winners keep winning - 24:00 What allows people to win when everyone around them can’t? How do you coach people through their insecurities so they can come out the other side as winners? How do professional winners push through their distractions to stay focused? Where did the Mamba Mentality originate and what did it represent off the court? Develop the focus and time management of champions - 39:42 What is the difference between managing your time and managing your focus, and why should you avoid one if you want to be the best at anything? What do you need to do to create balance and time in your life? What role does selfishness play in winning? How do you set boundaries when you’re surrounded by people who want your attention all the time? Elite performers don’t just have talent and skill. They also use their minds to manage self-doubt, insecurity, and distractions in order to stay focused on the task at hand. And there is no one way that works for everyone. What we can say with certainty about how you need to approach failure if you want to be a winner comes down to this simple but powerful truth: You must see your failures as opportunities for growth—as learning experiences which will help make you better than ever before! A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Tim Grover’s website Winning: The Unforgiving Race to Greatness by Tim Grover Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ethan Kross, an experimental psychologist and professor at the University of Michigan, dives deep into the intriguing world of our inner dialogue. He explores why we often struggle with our inner voices, how they can serve as tools for confidence, and the potential dangers they pose. Kross explains how our surroundings can shape this inner chatter and offers strategies for harnessing it effectively. He also discusses co-rumination and its hindering effects, providing insights on nurturing healthier communication and emotional resilience.

Dr. Nicole LePera, a clinical psychologist and creator of @the.holistic.psychologist, discusses the importance of bridging the gap between insight and action for personal growth. She addresses identifying trauma, self-sabotaging behaviors, and trauma bonds in relationships. The podcast explores overcoming resistance to change, managing expectations, and breaking free from the overachiever pattern.

In today’s episode, we cover building stronger connections with Dr. Carole Robin. Carole Robin, Ph.D. was the Dorothy J. King Lecturer in Leadership at Stanford's Graduate School of Business where she helped to further develop the Interpersonal Dynamics Course, and is now the author of the best selling book, Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues. Technology and the pandemic have changed the landscape of human connection, but how bad is it, what simple tips can you use to improve your ability to connect, and what is the correct way to show vulnerability in the workplace? What to Listen For The damage technology is having on our ability to connect - 0:00 What experience do we all need as humans and what can you do to give people that experience? Why are we losing close connections in our lives and what can we do about it? How does social media trap you into a state where you can’t connect with the people around you and what can you do about it? What simple tip can you use to deepen any connection? Why you need to get comfortable talking about feelings - 9:56 Why is it detrimental to your relationships to avoid talking about your emotions and feelings? What are the benefits of expressing your feelings and how does it help strengthen your relationships? Why are “why” questions so challenging when it comes to connecting with someone, and what questions should you ask instead? What type of questions can lead to the other person feeling judged? What is the signature trait of a successful relationship? What does a successful relationship look like? - 31:38 What are the characteristics of a successful relationship and what can you do to cultivate them in your relationships? How has the pandemic affected the way we interact with coworkers and build relationships? What 90 second exercise can you implement to strengthen your personal and professional relationships over Zoom? How can you be vulnerable without letting your disclosure be used against you? What can women do to become better leaders while staying true to themselves? Technology is changing the landscape of human connection and it's hard to know what will happen next. What you can do now, however, is learn to be vulnerable so that those around you also feel comfortable being open with one another. Without this openness we'll always have a lack of trust which does not bode well for our society at large where social connections are essential. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues by Dr. Carole Robin Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover small talk with AJ, Johnny, and Michael. Getting on the question train is one of the most common mistakes people make in conversations without realizing it, but what is it, why does it kill conversations, and how do you avoid getting on it? What to Listen For The pitfalls that lead to one-sided conversations - 0:00 What is the conversation formula you can use to create engaging conversations in any situation? What is the conversation train and why do you want to avoid it when you’re talking to someone? Why are people more likely to disclose personal information to strangers than to close friends? The conversation formula - 13:20 What is the best way to start a conversation with someone you don’t know? What kind of questions should you avoid when making small talk? What is the most important part of a conversation after asking the initial question and why do we often trip up over it? What is the question train and how do you avoid it? - 27:20 Why does an endless series of questions deter people from wanting to talk to you? What easy-to-remember visual can you keep in mind when making engaging small talk? What are the 3 A’s of value we should be giving to people when we’re speaking to them? What is emotional contagion and why is it important to understand when leading a conversation? Asking questions is a critical part of engaging conversations. But asking too many questions can kill a conversation. A conversation should be a balance between asking questions, listening, and relating. That means after you ask a question, you should be listening to what the other person says, and then responding with a statement that shows you were listening and that you understand what the other person was trying to say. You ask a question, they share, you share, then you can ask another question or preferably, they ask the next question. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Toolbox: Biggest Myth With Small Talk & 3 Mistakes to Avoid How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie Self-Disclosure: An Experimental Analysis of the Transparent Self Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the idea of mental mess with Dr. Caroline Leaf. Caroline has spent the last 30 years researching the nature of mental health and has helped hundreds of thousands of people learn how to use their mind to detox and grow their brain to succeed in every area of their lives including school, university, and the workplace. We are all dealing with mental messes in varying degrees, but what is a mental mess, how does your mental mess impact your ability to find happiness and success, and what process can you start using today to clean up your mental mess? What to Listen For What is a mental mess and why is it important to manage? - 0:00 What is neuroplasticity and how can you take advantage of it on a daily basis to improve the quality of your life? What is the difference between the brain and the mind and why do we put so much attention on one at the detriment to the other? What can you do to replace your negative thoughts & beliefs with positive, empowering thoughts & beliefs? What’s wrong with the way we treat mental health? - 16:27 How is our current perception of mental health treatment preventing us from making significant progress in our overall mental health and happiness? How has the media negatively impacted our mental health and the way we process our mental messes? How does your mental health influence the length of your lifespan and what can you do to live a longer, healthier life? What is the neurocycle and how can it improve our lives? - 37:15 What are the 5 steps of the neurocycle and how can you use it to heal grief? Why is it important to develop a self-awareness of your mental state? How do you prepare yourself for those moments when you know you will feel anxiety or fear so they don’t stop you from achieving success? Mental health is an important part of everyone’s existence. In the same way we should take regular steps to maintain and improve our physical health, we must do the same for our mental health. If we don’t, then a mental mess builds up over time. This mental mess clouds our thinking, influences our beliefs in a negative manner, and slowly eats away at relationships. Using the neurocycle described by Dr. Caroline Leaf, you can start cleaning up your mental mess and improve your quality of life today. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Dr. Caroline Leaf’s website Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess by Dr. Caroline Leaf CLEANING UP THE MENTAL MESS hosted by Dr. Caroline Leaf Neurocycle App Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the science of small talk with AJ and Johnny. Small talk can feel like a chore these days, but why is it important that we make small talk with people throughout the day, how do we make it fun and engaging, and why is it detrimental to our relationships and community to avoid or ignore small talk? What to Listen For The science of small talk and acknowledging others - 0:00 What are the benefits to making small talk and why does avoiding small talk erode the strength of relationships and community? Why do people go to extreme lengths to have their existence acknowledged? Why is it detrimental to think of small talk as useless or a waste of time? Why is small talk stopping you from being successful - 8:22 Why do people think small talk is boring and how is that mindset hindering them? In what way does small talk satisfy one of our most basic needs as humans? How can we use small talk as a jumping off point for engaging conversations? What pitfall do we need to avoid when making small talk? Why is it so important for us to make small talk - 16:00 Does small talk require you to be positive and bubbly? What is small talk really about? What can you do to be more likeable? What negative signals are you conveying when you ignore the attempts others make at small talk? What one word can you add to make your small talk more fun and conversational? Small talk is one of our more important tools in initiating engaging conversations. You can make it fun, but at times it can be awkward. That discomfort at the thought of awkward small talk leads people to opt out altogether in the age of smartphone proliferation. It feels much safer to stare at your phone than strike up a conversation with someone you don’t know. Unfortunately, this is leading to a lack of any small talk, even with friends and family. Over time, this leads to a total disconnect within communities as neighbors don’t talk to each other, friends sit on their phones when they’re out to dinner, and families resort to texting rather than calling each other. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Is Efficiency Overrated?: Minimal Social Interactions Lead to Belonging and Positive Affect Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover leadership with Brad Lomenick. Brad is a leadership consultant, speaker, founder of BLINC, and author of The Catalyst Leader and H3 Leadership. He writes about leadership, the next generation, creativity, innovation, social media, teamwork, and personal growth. Effective leadership is built on a few powerful traits anyone can learn, but what are they, what is the difference between an effective leader and an ineffective one, and what can you do to be an effective leader without being in a leadership position? What to Listen For Brad’s Journey & Strategies for Conquering Burnout - 3:34 What are the different levels of burnout and what can you do if you’re feeling burnt out? What can you do as a leader to encourage your team to hold you accountable for your faults and blindspots? The Biggest Leadership Myths & How to Assume Leadership - 9:59 What are the biggest myths about leadership? What are the two types of people who want to be leaders and why is one not cut out for the role? What can you do to be a leader if you are regularly jumping from one company to another? What can you do to be proactive about being a leader rather than waiting to be recognized as one? Ineffective vs Effective Leadership - 21:08 How does social media identify and highlight the ineffective leaders, placing poor examples of leadership in front of people around the world? How can a leader exemplify the hustle mentality and powerful humility? How do you build trust with your team when you are brand new and your team doesn’t know you? It seems as if the loudest “leaders” get the most attention, but getting someone’s attention or drawing an audience do not make someone a leader. The most effective leaders can lead from a place of trust and humility. They get buy-in from those around them by getting to know them and building a genuine relationship. If you want to be an effective leader, you must be willing to listen to the people around you and open up to them so they can connect with you. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Brad Lomenick’s website H3 Leadership by Brad Lomenick Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices