Becoming Me

Episode 138  In this personal narrative, I discuss my journey as a recovering complex trauma survivor, grappling with a deep-seated fear of criticism, judgment, and rejection, and how these fears intersect with my faith and my walk with Christ. I explore the concept of interior integration and the realisation that my fear of criticism was not just about a lack of faith, but a signal of deeper issues stemming from complex trauma and a lack of secure attachment with both myself and God. This sharing highlights my shift from viewing my fears through a purely spiritual lens to embracing a more integrated approach that incorporates psychological insight. I reflect on the importance of establishing boundaries, cultivating self-compassion, and adopting an embodied spirituality that brings healing to our relationship with God and ourselves.Watch this recording on YouTube.Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.CHAPTER MARKERS00:00 Introduction02:10 Spiritual vs. Integrated Approaches06:57 Healing Through Integration and Boundaries19:51 Overcoming Fear of Criticism22:52 The Power of Love and Secure AttachmentTRANSCRIPTAvailable here.REFLECTION PROMPTAre you very easily affected by praise or criticism too? What new perspective from this episode did you find helpful in your struggles with fearing criticism?Support the showSUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORTSocial Media:Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.Newsletter:Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.Support the Show:Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)One-time DonationLeave a Review:If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

Episode 137  In this episode, I delve into the journey of personal vocation discernment across different stages of faith, inspired by the book 'The Critical Journey: Stages in the Life of Faith'. I share my insights on how our inner journey and the process of discerning our personal calling evolves from the initial stages of discovering God, moving through discipleship and productivity, to questioning, doubt and interior wrestling, and finally towards a deeper integration and living out our vocation. Watch this recording on YouTube.Book: The Critical Journey: Stages in the Life of FaithFollow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my newsletter Begin Again for written reflections about the interior journey.TRANSCRIPTAvailable here.REFLECTION PROMPTHow have you been approaching the discernment of your personal vocation? How has this episode given you new insight to your own journey and experience of discernment?Support the showSUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORTSocial Media:Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.Newsletter:Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.Support the Show:Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)One-time DonationLeave a Review:If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

Bonus Episode 136In this episode, I share some updates as my subscriber count has grown across various platforms. Whether you're new to my content or a long-time follower, I introduce myself, my journey, and my mission behind creating content to support the interior integration journey of deepening intimacy with God and psychological and emotional healing. I discuss the integration of intellectual and relational dimensions of faith, my personal experiences, and how they shape my content. I'll also provide updates on future content consolidation, my evolving journey, and why there might be a slower pace of new content in the near future. Your support and prayers during this time mean a lot to me. Let's continue this journey together! Watch this recording on YouTube.Support the showSUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORTSocial Media:Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.Newsletter:Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.Support the Show:Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)One-time DonationLeave a Review:If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

Episode 135 In this episode, I delve into the transition many of us experience from spiritual fervour to spiritual maturity, especially during deep healing and integration. I discuss the differences between these stages, focusing on their characteristics and how we respond to suffering. By sharing my personal experiences and insights into the stages of faith development, I aim to reassure you that losing initial spiritual passion is a natural part of maturing in faith. Join me as I offer a  look at how this journey helps us love more like God does. I hope this gives you hope and a new perspective on your spiritual path.Watch this recording on YouTube.Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.CHAPTER MARKERS00:00 Introduction to Spiritual Midlife Crisis05:05 Personal Journey Through Spiritual Crisis06:40 Discovering New Ways to Connect with God10:31 Navigating Spiritual Desert and Rediscovery18:19 Encountering Spiritual Midlife: A Turning Point21:22 Exploring the Midlife Spiritual Journey22:28 The Critical Journey: Understanding Spiritual Midlife23:59 The Wall: The Place of Crisis24:50 Integration and Healing: The Core of Spiritual Midlife28:44 Seeking Support and Resources During Spiritual Midlife38:07 The Importance of Trauma-Informed Support40:09 Embracing Uncertainty and Transformation41:16 Finding Your Path and Support in Spiritual MidlifeTRANSCRIPTAvailable here.REFLECTION PROMPTDo you struggle to make an authentic self-gift of yourself without abandoning yourself? Where might you have learned that abandoning yourself is a good thing? Are you open to changing your mind and believing that it is authentic self-gift that Christ is inviting you to make?Support the showSUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORTSocial Media:Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.Newsletter:Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.Support the Show:Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)One-time DonationLeave a Review:If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

Episode 134 Join me in this candid episode as I engage in a heartfelt conversation with trauma-informed and somatic-trained Catholic spiritual guide Edwina Yeow, founder of Anam Cara Ministries (Singapore). We delve into the deep connection between trauma, spirituality, and our relationship with God. Edwina, a seasoned Catholic spiritual director with 30 years of experience, shares invaluable insights on integrating spiritual direction, psychology, and somatic awareness to address trauma’s impact on our relationship with God. We discuss the importance of involving the body in spiritual healing and the role trauma plays in shaping our religious scripts. This episode encourages a spirit of curiosity towards healing, self-love, and deeper intimacy with God through a trauma-informed perspective.Watch this recording on YouTube.Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my newsletter Begin Again for written reflections about the interior journey.RESOURCESEdwina Yeow's website.Other episodes with Edwina YeowTRANSCRIPTAvailable here.REFLECTION PROMPTWhich part of this conversation resonated with you the most? What could God be inviting you to ponder with him in your heart about the fears you have of losing his love for you?Support the showSUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORTSocial Media:Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.Newsletter:Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.Support the Show:Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)One-time DonationLeave a Review:If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

Episode 133 In this episode, I share my personal experience with spiritual midlife crisis.I share about the difficult and transformative phases of my journey, including moments of doubt, deep introspection, and the deconstruction of my previously held beliefs and practices. Through this challenging journey, I discovered crucial resources that guided me to understand the stages of faith development and the significance of the 'Wall', a pivotal point in one's spiritual midlife. I emphasise the importance of integrating one's emotional and spiritual aspects and the crucial role of seeking support through spiritual direction and psychotherapy. Resource:The Critical Journey, Stages in the Life of Faith by Janet O. Hagberg and Robert A. GuelichFalling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life by Richard RohrWhen the Heart Waits: Spiritual Direction for Life's Sacred Questions by Sue Monk KiddWatch this recording on YouTube.Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.CHAPTER MARKERSSee episode page for more details.TRANSCRIPTAvailable here.REFLECTION PROMPTHow have you experienced God's grace in moments of difficulty? In what ways do you need to trust that His grace is sufficient for your current challenges? Are there moments when you feel like you can’t keep going? How can you show yourself compassion during these times, knowing that it’s normal to feel this way? Remind yourself of God's compassion when you're feeling discouraged and trust in God, even when others don’t fully grasp what you’re going through.Support the showSUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORTSocial Media:Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.Newsletter:Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.Support the Show:Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)One-time DonationLeave a Review:If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

Episode 132 In this episode, I introduce and share reflections from “The Critical Journey: Stages in the Life of Faith," by Janet O. Hagberg and Robert A. Guelich. This remarkable resource opened my eyes to the stages of faith development, reinforcing the crucial role of experiential learning and integrating emotional healing with spiritual growth. I share insights from each of the six stages described in the book, weaving in reflections on my own progression and the introspective challenges encountered, especially the profound impact of confronting 'The Wall' in Stage 4. My aim is to offer solace by sharing my story and insights on navigating the complex landscapes of faith, hoping it will resonate with others on their own spiritual journeys, encouraging them towards embracing their path with understanding and compassion.Watch this recording on YouTube.Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.CHAPTER MARKERS(00:00:22) - Introduction(00:00:59) - Resource Introduction(00:02:05) - Discovering "The Critical Journey"(00:05:05) - Stages of Faith Development(00:13:50) - Stage 1: Recogition of God(00:15:09) - Stage 2: Life of Discpleship(00:17:34) - Stage 3: The Productive Life(00:22:13) - Stage 4: The Journey Inward(00:35:06) - Stage 5: The Journey Outward(00:38:30) - Stage 6: Life of Love(00:48:13) - Final Thoughts(00:49:24) - ConclusionTRANSCRIPTAvailable here.REFLECTION PROMPTReflect on your own journey towards healing and integration. How has your awareness evolved over time? Consider how your ability to serve others has changed. Who are you best able to support now compared to the past? Recall moments when you felt truly seen and understood in your struggles. What made those moments significant?Support the showSUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORTSocial Media:Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.Newsletter:Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.Support the Show:Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)One-time DonationLeave a Review:If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

Episode 131In this episode, I share my personal journey from having a disembodied faith, which was largely intellectual and disconnected from my emotional and physical experiences, to developing an embodied faith that integrates my beliefs with all aspects of my life. I delve into what disembodied faith means, why many of us experience faith this way, and the transformative process towards embodying our faith. Through my own story of interior healing and integration, I highlight three key signs that indicate a shift towards a more incarnate, lived faith, emphasising the importance of embracing the messiness and challenges of this journey. The goal is to offer hope and understanding for those on the path to a more holistic and authentic experience of faith.Watch this recording on YouTube.Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.CHAPTER MARKERS00:00:25) - Introduction(00:03:52) - What is "Disembodied Faith"?(00:10:47) - Why is our Faith Disembodied?(00:15:27) - Three Signs of Disembodied Faith(00:15:36) - Preoccupation with Understanding the Content of our Faith(00:17:13) - Discrepancies Start to Bother Us(00:19:39) - We are more Drawn to People in Touch with their Humanity(00:21:06) - You can't Force on Yourself the "Right Thing"(00:24:09) - Befriending our Emotions(00:27:31) - Not being Afraid of Criticism(00:30:42) - Secure in Love(00:40:00) - ConclusionTRANSCRIPTAvailable here.REFLECTION PROMPTDo you struggle to make an authentic self-gift of yourself without abandoning yourself? Where might you have learned that abandoning yourself is a good thing? Are you open to changing your mind and believing that it is authentic self-gift that Christ is inviting you to make?Support the showSUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORTSocial Media:Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.Newsletter:Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.Support the Show:Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)One-time DonationLeave a Review:If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

Episode 130In this episode, I share my deep personal reflections on what it means to lay down my life in alignment with Christ, but without feeling lesser for it. Growing up in an enmeshed family system with rigid expectations of selflessness, ingrained through my Catholic upbringing, I faced challenges in understanding genuine self-sacrifice. I discuss the subtle yet critical difference between self-abandonment—a state that breeds resentment and diminishes self-worth—and genuine self-gift which is free and joyful, enriching both myself and others. My aim is to guide listeners on a path towards emotional health and authentic self-giving, highlighting the impact on family, faith, and self-perception of our ability to love authentically.Watch this recording on YouTube.Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.CHAPTER MARKERS00:00 Introduction: Reflecting on Self-Sacrifice and Authentic Living00:37 Exploring the Roots: Family, Faith, and Self-Perception01:35 The Struggle with Self-Abandonment and Seeking Approval04:45 Discovering the Difference: Self-Abandonment vs. Self-Gift07:38 The Journey Towards Emotional Health and Authentic Self-Gift11:15 Understanding Self-Abandonment: Signs and Consequences19:36 Embracing Self-Gift: The Path to Freedom and Joy28:44 Conclusion: The Power of Authentic Self-Gift and HealingTRANSCRIPTAvailable here.REFLECTION PROMPTDo you struggle to make an authentic self-gift of yourself without abandoning yourself? Where might you have learned that abandoning yourself is a good thing? Are you open to changing your mind and believing that it is authentic self-gift that Christ is inviting you to make?Support the showSUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORTSocial Media:Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.Newsletter:Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.Support the Show:Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)One-time DonationLeave a Review:If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.

Episode 129In this episode, I engage in a deep and meaningful conversation with Catholic author and trauma therapist Brya Hanan. We delve into the complexities of trauma, particularly how it intersects with our faith journey. We explore how experiencing a resistance to going to church and attending mass can be a trauma response, and the importance of compassion and understanding in addressing these issues. This conversation aims to open up a space for greater empathy and curiosity about the unseen struggles of others, offering hope and guidance for those grappling with trauma in their spiritual lives.GUEST PROFILE: BRYA HANAN LMFTWatch this recording on YouTube.RESOURCES ON SPIRITUAL TRAUMATrauma in the Pews: The Impact on Faith and Spiritual Practices by Janyne McConnaughey, PhD.The Lord Is My Shepherd: Stepping Through the Shadows of Fear Toward the Voice of Love by KJ RamseyThe Holy/Hurt Podcast by Dr. Hillary L McBrideFollow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.CHAPTER MARKERS(00:00:22) - Introduction(00:00:51) - Special Guest: Brya Hanan, Catholic Trauma Therapist(00:01:46) - Personal Journey of Faith and Trauma(00:03:24) - Understanding Trauma Responses(00:05:31) - Reconnecting with Faith(00:06:18) - The Impact of Trauma in a Church Setting(00:08:26) - What Inner Child Healing Can Do(00:11:43) - Integrating Therapy and Faith(00:15:39) - Being Trauma-Informed(00:24:20) - Trauma and Religious Practices(00:33:45) - Understanding Our Bodies(00:34:09) - Can I Will Myself? Is it all in my Mind?(00:36:00) - The Impact of Trauma Responses(00:43:49) - What goes on Behind the Scenes with Trauma(00:47:22) - Integrating Faith and Holistic Healing(00:51:47) - Useful Resources(00:54:38) - Final ThoughtsTRANSCRIPTAvailable here.REFLECTION PROMPTHave you been struggling with going to mass or with something similar? Do you notice how your body feels and reacts? This could be an impact of trauma. Has there anything else in this episode that speaks to you?Support the showSUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORTSocial Media:Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.Newsletter:Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.Support the Show:Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)One-time DonationLeave a Review:If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.