How Soccer Explains Leadership Podcast

In Episode 84, Shay Haddow, Confidence Coach, Author of She the Confident: The Mindset Advantage for Female Athletes, and Host of the Alpha Girl Confidence Podcast, talks with Phil about developing confidence in our female athletes, how everyone is leading someone and how personalities shape leadership, breaking up cliques in our teams, and 3 tools we can use to mitigate against mental health issues in our teams. Specifically, Shay discusses: Her story and how she developed her passion for soccer, leadership, confidence, and mental performance, particularly in the girls' game (1:21) Her personal why and how she is living it out in her daily life (4:58) Why she started her podcast and wrote She the Confident, and how she hopes they will impact female athletes around the world (7:15) Whether confidence is more nature or nurture, what to do when kids are living in delusion, and how people can develop their confidence if they believe they were not "born confident." (9:25) How she defines leadership and the concept that everybody is leading someone (18:34) How different personality styles lead differently (22:10) How to identify and break up unhealthy cliques in your teams (26:08) What she believes are the reasons for the statistic that 94% of women holding C-Suite positions are former athletes, and 52% of them played at the collegiate level (29:19) Her new book idea (32:55) Three tools we can use to address and mitigate against the mental health issues arising from social media and comparison in our youth (35:37) How she has used lessons learned from soccer in her business and personal life (42:19) The "freakin' awesome" impact her book and podcast have had over the past couple years (44:59) Shay's book recommendations (47:36) Resources and Links from this Episode She the Confident: The Mindset Advantage for Female Athletes, by Shay Haddow Alpha Girl Confidence Website & Podcast Uncut Video of the Episode HSEL Facebook Group Coaching the Bigger Game Program Warrior Way Soccer Man's Search for Meaning, by Viktor Frankl

In Episode 83, Paul and Phil discuss highlights and lessons learned from our interviews with Dr. Daniel O'Neill, Cara Bradley, Evan Dabby, and Brad Miller during the first half of this season, a milestone reached by the podcast, and the wild finish to the English Premier League this past weekend. They also give a quick preview of what's to come in the second half of Season 6 and reveal whether Paul will conduct any more interviews with Phil in the future. Resources and Links from this Episode Uncut Video of the Episode HSEL Facebook Group Coaching the Bigger Game information Warrior Way information Paul Jobson's email address Phil Darke's email address "Rise and Shine: The Jay Demerit Story" (YouTube) Survival of the Fit: How Physical Education Ensures Academic Achievement and a Healthy Life, by Dr. Daniel O'Neill, MD, EdD Knee Surgery: The Essential Guide to Total Knee Recovery, by Daniel F. O'Neill

In Episode 82, as part of Mental Health Awareness Month, Brad Miller, Founder of Soccer Resilience, Clinical Psychologist, and former Wake Forest soccer player, talks with Phil and Paul about Soccer Resilience's growth over the past year, preventing and caring for mental health issues, Sports Psychologists vs. Counselors, navigating the coach/sports pysch/counselor relationship, identifying and understanding mental health issues and their root causes, and navigating mental health issues coming out of the COVID-19 Pandemic. Specifically, Brad discusses: An update on Soccer Resilience since the last time we talked in Episode 19 (2:45) His personal why/life purpose and how he is living it out every day (5:10) How players who don't have the ability to take months off can properly take care of their mental health (10:00) Preventative measures we can use to help our kids mitigate against mental health issues (15:40) Sports Psychologists and Counselors, who they are, why we need both, and how we can use each of them (21:09) How to nurture healthy Coach-Sports Psych/Counselor relationships (25:17) How to deal with coaches who don't believe that mental health issues are legitimate (28:56) How to find and address root issues causing mental health issues when our kids and players might not even know the root causes exist (32:25) Ways that coaches can check in with their players to ensure they are on top of mental health struggles (38:49) How coaches can learn to identify and understand mental health issues in their players (44:34) How we can navigate mental health issues coming out of the COVID-19 pandemic (49:43) Brad's book recommendations (56:08) Resources and Links from this Episode Soccer Resilience website Soccer Resilience YouTube channel Uncut Video of the Episode HSEL Facebook Group Coaching the Bigger Game Program Warrior Way Soccer "Hey, I got brown hair and I have mental health therapy" (article by Cari Roccaro) "12. A Gradient of Katie Meyer | Soccer, She Wrote" (article by Mariah Lee) Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, by Carol Dweck David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants, by Malcolm Gladwell

In Episode 81, Evan Dabby, Executive Director of NJ Youth Soccer and former MLS executive, talks with Phil about his innovative work with New Jersey Youth Soccer, including the Growing the Girls Game and Innovate to Grow initiatives, how we can make high-level youth sports more accessible to more under resourced kids, the importance of collaboration, what we can do about referee abuse, and a common quality shared by some of the best players in US history who hailed from NJ. Specifically, Evan discusses: His story, how he developed his passion for soccer and leadership, and how he ended up leading a state youth soccer association (1:33) His personal why and how he is living it out every day (3:34) The mission, vision, and values of NJYS and what is going well with the association (7:39) Some of the things he hopes to improve upon during his tenure at NJYS (14:31) The NJYS Growing the Girls Game (G3) Initiative, and what impact he hopes it will have on the girls' game in NJ and across the US (16:52) The Innovate to Grow Initiative and how it is working to include underrepresented communities in youth soccer in NJ (18:08) How we can make high-level youth sports more accessible to under resourced populations (20:32) The importance of collaboration and how NJYS is collaborating with other states on some really cool projects (23:39) Referee abuse, what it tells us about ourselves, our youth, and the state of youth soccer, and what we can do about it (32:41) How he is using lessons learned from soccer in his leadership of NJYS (42:22) How he has used lessons learned directly from sports in his marriage and parenting (45:19) His recommendations for us (50:28) Resources and Links from this Episode Uncut Video of the Episode New Jersey Youth Soccer Website Growing the Girls Game Initiative Innovate to Grow Initiative HSEL Facebook Group Coaching the Bigger Game information Warrior Way information Phil Darke's email address Ted Lasso (TV show on Apple TV+)

In Episode 80, Cara Bradley, best-selling author of On the Verge, host of the On the Verge Podcast, Soccer Resilience Ambassador, Rollerblader extraordinaire, and one of the "12 Most Powerful Women of the Mindfulness Movement,", talks with Phil about the gut-brain connection, mental fitness, performing in the "flow" and how we can get there, how we can reach optimal performance more often, and how she performed on Rollerblades in front of one of the world's iconic buildings. Specifically, Cara discusses: Her story, how she developed his passion for mental fitness, the gut-brain connection, and optimal performance, and how she got to be where she is today (1:54) How we can intentionally create and recreate being in flow (or in the "Zone") (9:17) The concept of STER and what it has to do with "flow" (11:10) Mental cross-training, including the importance of sleep, clean eating, breathing, and other critical aspects of mental health (16:36) Why it's important for us and our kids to participate in unstructured play alongside the intense, structured training (20:21) Gut-Brain Health and what it has to do with optimal performance and mental health (23:49) Her personal why and how she is living it out every day (33:32) Her and her husband's decision to go "house-free" and what she has learned from her journey (34:40) Cara's various resources and how you can find them (38:11) Cara's experience as a professional Rollerblader (40:40) How she has used lessons learned directly from sports in her marriage and parenting (41:56) Her recommendations for us (42:38) Resources and Links from this Episode Cara's Website On the Verge: Wake Up, Show Up, and Shine, by Cara Bradley On the Verge Podcast, by Cara Bradley Cara's Mental Fitness Playbook and Grid Cara's Recommended Gut-Brain Protocols Cara's email address Uncut Video of the Episode HSEL Facebook Group Coaching the Bigger Game information Warrior Way information Phil Darke's email address Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Ted Lasso (TV show on Apple TV+) Find a Way: The Inspiring Story of One Woman's Pursuit of a Lifelong Dream, by Diana Nyad

In Episode 79, Dr. Daniel O'Neill, Board-certified Orthopaedic Surgeon with an added Certificate in Sports Medicine, and a Doctorate in Exercise and Sports Psychology, Author of Survival of the Fit: How Physical Education Ensures Academic Achievement and a Healthy Life, and master of physical identity, talks with Phil about physical identity, his books, the negative side of tech and screens, why we need a "PE Revolution" in our schools, why we need to exercise in the morning, the need for more free play, athletes vs. non-athletes, "safetyism," why parents shouldn't go to all their kids' games, why we don't need to teach our kids to win, and the different ways specialization is hurting our kids, among other important topics. Specifically, Dr. O'Neill discusses: His story, how he developed his passion for physical fitness, physical identity, and leadership, why he wrote Survival of the Fit, and how he was able to get so many degrees and certificates to get where he is today (2:29) His personal why and how he is living it out every day (5:49) The shadow side of tech and why he believes more and better Physical Education for our children will ensure academic achievement and a healthy life (8:24) Why it's so important for us to get some exercise in the morning (11:56) Some practical tips to getting exercise for ourselves and our kids at school (16:08) The concept of physical identity, the physical identity crisis we have in the US, and why we need to understand it and fight against it (19:11) Organized play vs. free play, parental involvement vs. kids playing without parents, athletes vs. non-athletes, and why these distinctions and implications of the distinctions are critical to understand (23:42) The concept of "safetyism" and how it is impacting the lack of physical fitness and identity in our children, as well as cancel culture and other negative issues in society. How the premises of "safetyism" are flawed, how we can counter the negatives, and why we need to get out of our comfort zones (29:06) How he believes specialization is hurting our kids in a lot of different ways (43:12) Why he believes that Physical Education in schools furthers children's academic achievement and physical identity more than organized sports (1:01:10) The studies showing that the more screen time a child has, the more mental health issues the child will have, and what we can do about it (1:04:37) How he defines the markers of a "good youth coach" (it might surprise you) (1:14:50) The implications of the athlete/non-athlete distinction and why it matters (1:17:05) His other book, Knee Surgery, and how it can help people who are recovering from knee surgery (1:21:10) How he uses lessons learned from playing sports or other free play in his personal relationships, and why we don't need to teach our kids to win (1:23:05) His recommendations for us (1:27:25) Resources and Links from this Episode Dr O'Neill's Website Survival of the Fit: How Physical Education Ensures Academic Achievement and a Healthy Life, by Dr. Daniel O'Neill, MD, EdD Knee Surgery: The Essential Guide to Total Knee Recovery, by Daniel F. O'Neill Uncut Video of the Episode HSEL Facebook Group Coaching the Bigger Game information Warrior Way information Phil Darke's email address The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas are Setting Up a Generation of Failure, by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt Think Orphan Episodes with Jeff Sandefer

In Episode 78, our sixth off-season talk between Seasons 5 & 6, Phil and Paul talk about how we can effectively build healthy teams, and how that starts with knowing, understanding, and leading ourselves. In all we do, we at HSEL strive to be part of a movement that encourages a lifelong love for the game, leadership and character development, and human flourishing. Resources and Links from this Episode Video of the Episode HSEL Facebook Group Coaching the Bigger Game Program Warrior Way Soccer Info on DISC Training Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action, by Simon Sinek Phil's email address – phil@howsoccerexplainsleadership.com Paul's email address – pajobson@gmail.com

In Episode 77, our fifth off-season talk between Seasons 5 & 6, Phil and Paul talk about external and internal motivation, and how we can effectively motivate ourselves and our players to be their best and flourish. In all we do, we at HSEL strive to be part of a movement that encourages a lifelong love for the game, leadership and character development, and human flourishing. Resources and Links from this Episode Video of the Episode HSEL Facebook Group Coaching the Bigger Game Program Warrior Way Soccer Info on DISC Training Phil's email address – phil@howsoccerexplainsleadership.com Paul's email address – pajobson@gmail.com

In Episode 76, our fourth off-season talk between Seasons 5 & 6, Phil talks with Paul about the long-awaited Coaching the Bigger Game program, which helps coaches elevate significance in sports by elevating self-leadership, leadership of their individual players, and leadership of their teams. As Coaching the Bigger Game strives to help coaches help themselves, their players, and teams flourish, we at HSEL strive to be part of a movement that encourages a lifelong love for the game, leadership and character development, and human flourishing. Resources and Links from this Episode Video of the Episode HSEL Facebook Group Coaching the Bigger Game Program Warrior Way Soccer Info on DISC Training Phil's email address – phil@howsoccerexplainsleadership.com Paul's email address – pajobson@gmail.com

In Episode 75, our third off-season talk between Seasons 5 & 6, Paul talks with Phil about all things Warrior Way, from camps to consulting to helping vulnerable populations around the world. As Warrior Way encourages others to incorporate their faith into their play, we strive to be part of a movement that encourages a lifelong love for the game, leadership and character development, and human flourishing. Resources and Links from this Episode Video of the Episode HSEL Facebook Group Coaching the Bigger Game Program Warrior Way Soccer Info on DISC Training Nations United Information Phil's email address – phil@howsoccerexplainsleadership.com Paul's email address – pajobson@gmail.com