

The Fifth Column (private feed for bitterone31droid@googlemail.com)
Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welch
Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition. www.wethefifth.com
Episodes
Mentioned books

Jun 3, 2025 • 1h 39min
Members Only #252 - For Our Girls (The Message)
* ABBA’s Vietnam* Barnen i Nicaragua* Mike Tyson, Ratso, and Cus the Communist* Burning down the house / sort of scolded by a firefighter * The rent is too damn free* Everyone is contemptuous of everyone * Is Trump the Bernie Goetz of Harvard?* Rebutting “higher ed is just fine” revisionism* From YAF to Students for Liberty to Turning Point…* Dating apps, height discrimina… Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

May 30, 2025 • 1h 8min
#507 - Trans Pee Wee and Tariffed Dresses
* Racist Macca?* Some bad names* In praise of (trans?) Pee Wee* Does Long Duck Dong denounce his past?* Was that a Reaganite video game?* Trade war nonsense: the court says…maybe not* Moynihan’s $700 dress (including a $250 tariff) * Kmele on CNN* The end of Elon* Just like Reagan and Thatcher but not all* No suspects, no DNA, no fingerprints, no leads * MI:7 DEI Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

May 28, 2025 • 1h 30min
Members Only #251 - I Learned It from Watching Nick Gillespie
* We think we *might* have talked about politics in this episode?* Happy anniversary Christian Cooper! * Talking to the dude who made those drug PSAs* The Glug (1981)* 2020: The year that broke America* Burning down the house (almost) * The tax protestor in our midst* Johnny Rotten, Johnny Ramone, the Plastic People, and the politics of punl* Nick of Schumpeterian Gatsby… Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

May 22, 2025 • 1h 26min
#506 - Kill the White People
* The ritual humiliation white genocide slide show!* That’s not really true. But it doesn’t really matter, does it?* Trolling with refugees* That Mandela picture MM mentioned…* Uncle Paul * “Well do you DENOUNCE that language? Huh? Huh? Did you even say thank you??”* The big, not-so-beautiful bill* The trillion dollar dome* Gaza and the “14,000”* Our Original Sin and Korean Robert* When did he lose it?* That Christie clip is actually six years old. But here it is. Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

May 15, 2025 • 1h 38min
#505 - A Saudi Summit. A Delaware Freakoff.
* Jack London and hobo Oakland* The lovely government of Qatar* Trump in Saudi* A carnival of corruption* Chasing heroes…* The end of the “introventionalists”* But do they *fear* him?* The new Chomskyites * Declining freedom…* Trump’s fat, rich friend who wants price controls* The triumph of gesture politics* Black Leo Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

May 14, 2025 • 1h 13min
UNLOCKED: David Zweig, on How Media and Public Health Failed Our Kids
You demanded, we complied. Last month in this space, I interviewed science/technology/Covid journalist David Zweig about his great new book, An Abundance of Caution: American Schools, the Virus, and a Story of Bad Decisions. It was a bracing conversation, filled with damning media/elite criticism, blue-state horrors, and F-bombs galore.Then a funny thing happened: Dozens of you wonderful paying subscribers said Mr. Welch, tear down this paywall, so we can share this with our normie friends! And so I have.A good time to mash the subscribe button!Now it’s your turn, o demanding listeners (and even non-demanding freeloaders) – let’s hook some new normies into your favorite podcast, and maybe persuade some of you fence-sitters about the primo content you’ve been missing out on. As Pope Bob from Chicago has taught us, the more people subscribe, the more special treats for everybody. Amen.Without further ado, the original text for the episode.***On May 11, 2020, as I was navigating personal collapse (“it’s been a really shitty two months,” I said on an interesting-to-listen-to-now Special Dispatch #20), my two daughters were wrestling unhappily with Zoom school, and all three of us lads were in the process of buying Covid cars, I came across a Wired article that landed like a Cher-style open-handed slap across the face: “The Case for Reopening Schools: Lots of other countries have decided that it's time to take this step. Why is the US holding back?”The piece, by David Zweig, was very contrary to the U.S. news coverage at the time, chock full o’ studies and data points and hyperlinks, and opened like this:Schools are reopening in countries around the world in response to a substantial body of evidence that children are largely unaffected by Covid-19 and minimally contagious when they get infected. Experts and policymakers abroad also acknowledge that school closures perpetuate a long list of known harms to children.Yet, oddly, the US is following a divergent path.Along with other real-world evidence trickling in from around the globe, Zweig’s essay (plus a June 24 follow-up), was part of my four-month journey from close-the-schools alarmist to open-the-schools monster, the latter condition from which I would spend more of my journalistic energy over the ensuing few years than I care to remember.Zweig, also a New York City parent of two schoolkids at the outbreak of Covid, is determined never to forget. His book An Abundance of Caution: American Schools, the Virus, and a Story of Bad Decisions, is more than mere rage-calorie score-settling, however. At heart, he tells me in this occasionally fiery conversation, it’s about how we make decisions under crisis, and how our country operates under duress.What he both discovers and explicates, in fascinating detours through Evidence-Based Medicine and the philosophy of science, is that two institutions in particular let us down: Public health elites, and the media. “This is an extraordinarily compelling story about evidence being ignored and dismissed,” he says. “They ignored empirical evidence that was right in front of their fucking face.”Trust me, you’ll want to get to the last 15 minutes here, where Zweig describes how this process transformed his politics. It was “this revelatory moment,” he says: “Oh my God, I was a complete arrogant asshole.” Few others are spared.Some links:* Excerpt in The Atlantic, “The Disaster of School Closures Should Have Been Foreseen”* Excerpt in The Free Press, “How Covid Lies Destroyed Kids’ Lives”* Zweig’s Substack, Silent Lunch* NPR, “What Parents Can Learn From Child Care Centers That Stayed Open During Lockdowns,” June 24, 2020* The New York Times, “How 132 Epidemiologists Are Deciding When to Send Their Children to School,” June 12, 2020 Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

May 12, 2025 • 1h 23min
Members Only #250 - What’s the Frequency, Papist?
* The Bill Bixby of East Egg* Figure it out, people * Solitude: City vs. Country (not a reference to the Jonathan Richman song, btw)* Allemansrätten and who makes the most money in your postal code* Jawohl CHEF!* Banning internships will help the poor* “Worse than Watergate” and the Ballad of G. Gordon Liddy* How does one start restoring a car * The brilliance of our mod… Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

May 8, 2025 • 1h 56min
#504 - N-Bombs and Real Bombs
UPDATE: The initial version of this episode was missing two audio clips, both of them featuring exceptionally stupid people saying exceptionally stupid things. To be honest, you were be better off not hearing either of them. But the episode has been corrected, the punishing stupidity included, and now you’re worse off…* Notes from a live event (going live later today) * Fifdom represents* Spotify exposes!* RIP Swampy* India, Pakistan, and the American retreat* Ending power, hard and soft* Marjorie Taylor Chomsky * Israeli endgame* Portnoy’s NYT complaint* Piers Springer and the forbidden word* Don’t give money to meth head Nazis who yell at babies Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

May 6, 2025 • 1h 29min
Members Only #259 - Tariffed into Chastity
* Tickets for tomorrow’s Moynihan-moderated debate at the Village Underground can be purchased here! And subscribe to the Moynihan Report YouTube channel!* Winnipeg land acknowledgements* Prison competition* Tariffs for erotic French movies* Traitorous Hollywood not paying enough to make movies* A listener wants to talk about Steph Curry * Rare books* Lying on the fact… Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

May 3, 2025 • 2h 11min
#503 - Mea Minima Culpa
They’re all back. And they recorded a very fun, very long one…during the day…to minimize drunken regrets. So many topics are covered—the Koch brother, the last episode, bad interviewers, bad manners, the strange new media, the strange new Ukraine strategy, exit Walz, etc—that we might as well dispense with the usual bullet points and just get right into it…Enjoy! Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.


