

The Fifth Column (private feed for bitterone31droid@googlemail.com)
Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welch
Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition. www.wethefifth.com
Episodes
Mentioned books

Mar 28, 2026 • 1h 24min
The Limits of Sound and Fury w/ Rahm Emanuel (Members Only #311)
* Maybe I wasn’t exactly a prince* Why nobody should want to stay in Washington too long* The worst job in politics* The ACA, “the three children,” and the birth of the Tea Party* The Great Recession and losing your ticket to the American dream* Trump didn’t invent the anger, he captured it* The no-drinking-until-the-mics-are-off rule* In the Oval Office, the choice is… Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

Mar 26, 2026 • 1h 23min
Is Apple Still Apple? #550 (w/ David Pogue)
Kmele loves Apple products…maybe a little too much. But what a perfect guest to talk all things related to this monster company and how it’s shaped American culture and the globe as a whole.-The Newton saved Apple-What Kmele does with Apple products in the shower-The underdog with taste-Why Matt Welch hates Macs-On getting access to Apple-Project Titan and the $10 billion heartbreak-Apple as a medical device company-Still a Steve Jobs disciple of focus-Apple made China and China made Apple-Where there is no will, there’s a way-New locations for Apple manufacturing-On the fantasy of bringing it back to the US-Apple Intelligence, deepfakes, and doing AI the “right” way-All it takes is a Congressperson having sex with a sheep-Anthropic, cheating, and the possible jobs apocalypse-The long runwayRead Apple: The First 50 Years by David Pogue (Bookshop | Amazon)Prefer to watch & chat live with other members of the Fifdom? This episode premieres over on our YouTube channel at 12PM EST.After 10 years, we’ve finally found a sponsor we actually like. Ground News pulls coverage of the same story into one place so you can compare headlines across sources and see how framing changes depending on the outlet.Subscribe for 40% off our Vantage plan using our unique link https://groundnews.com/fifthThe Fifth Column (A Podcast) is a reader/viewer supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Follow The Fifth ColumnYouTube: @wethefifthInstagram: @we.the.fifthX: @wethefifthTikTok: @wethefifthFacebook: @thefifthcolumn Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

Mar 24, 2026 • 1h 34min
The Hungarian Road to Havana (Members Only #310)
-Celine Dion, slightly less stiff-Every headline out of Hungary is insane-The Orbán character arc-The Polish miracle-Conservative 2Pac in the Borat republic-Cuba is falling apart, Hasan Piker is thriving-Cuba’s healthcare miracle, minus aspirin-Why pseudo-intellectuals love communist field trips-The pig whose vocal cords had to go-Trump’s zigzagging is … Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

Mar 19, 2026 • 1h 44min
There’s Always a New Monster to Destroy (w/ Noam Dworman) #549
-Joe Kent’s weird texts and the “Israel did Iraq” brainworm-The Jews are so fucking clever-Iraq 2003, back from the dead yet again-There’s always a new monster to destroy-Iran, nukes, and the problem with crazy people holding civilization hostage-A Ron Paul guy with a war boner-Don’t you realize you’re losing America?-Norman Finkelstein has no phone-Mearsheimering, Robert Pape, and the incentives to go full crank-Megyn Kelly, the anti-Israel turn, and the warm bath of total nuttiness-Mark Levin’s penis size enters the chat-Louis CK and a Michael Barbaro hit job-the origin of Tough CrowdPrefer to watch & chat live with other members of the Fifdom? This episode premieres over on our YouTube channel at 12PM EST.After 10 years, we’ve finally found a sponsor we actually like. Ground News pulls coverage of the same story into one place so you can compare headlines across sources and see how framing changes depending on the outlet.Subscribe for 40% off our Vantage plan using our unique link https://groundnews.com/fifthThe Fifth Column (A Podcast) is a reader/viewer supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Follow The Fifth ColumnYouTube: @wethefifthInstagram: @we.the.fifthX: @wethefifthTikTok: @wethefifthFacebook: @thefifthcolumn Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

Mar 17, 2026 • 1h 41min
Cuba in the Dark (Members Only #309)
-Gov. Chris Christie debrief-Kmele nearly dies after seeing the new hidden painting on set-K-Pop Nazi Hunters and Sinners-Joy Reid says America is basically Iran now-Straight from The Communist-Lights out in Cuba-The Gains of the Cuban Revolution-”I got my job from the New York Times”-The old broken Cuban system finally starts to crack-Hasan Piker talks… Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

Mar 12, 2026 • 2h 2min
Gov. Chris Christie Tells on Everyone #548
-Gov. Chris Christie says Kmele has no excuse-Getting drunk with Colbert-No drugs, ever-RFK Jr.’s drug use-The only things Trump believes in-something is a little off about John Kasich-Olivia Nuzzi is a Freak, Crumb Cake edition-Michael Barbaro tried to take the Gov down with food-Bon Jovi, Bruce, and New Jersey loyalty tests-The Little Marco Florsheim Fib-The ultimate Kushner lore, aka The Prostitute, the Motel, and the Alarm Clock-Profiles in cowardice, Republican edition-The biggest threat to Democracy according to Chris Christie-The case for letting Republicans lose badly-Why Democrats keep blowing it-Debate prep with Trump and being with him when the Access Hollywood tape dropped-This is what Hillary should have said -Chris Christie insists Bruce Springsteen likes him now-That Obama Sandy cold embrace-Bill Clinton will hold your hand, stroke your wife’s elbow, and you’ll fucking like it-W, Barbara, and elite family-level savageryPrefer to watch & chat live with other members of the Fifdom? This episode premieres over on our YouTube channel at 12PM EST.The Fifth Column (A Podcast) is a reader & viewer supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Follow The Fifth ColumnYouTube: @wethefifthInstagram: @we.the.fifthX: @wethefifthTikTok: @wethefifthFacebook: @thefifthcolumn Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

Mar 11, 2026 • 1h 11min
A Brief Defense of the Vampires w/ Lloyd Blankfein (Members Only #308)
Lloyd Blankfein, former CEO and Chairman of Goldman Sachs and memoir author, reflects on markets, inequality, and the political fallout from financial crises. He discusses wealth creation versus distribution, global cycles from Russia to China, why US capitalism recovers faster, risks in private credit and PE, and how AI and leadership shape firms and careers.

Mar 9, 2026 • 1h 25min
Many Worlds, Bad Science, and the Strangeness of Being w/Sean Carroll (Members Only #307)
From the multiverse to time travel to bad studies and internet “experts,” and then all the way to metaphysics and belief, Sean Carroll explains why modern life makes everyone sound so sure about things they barely understand.-Moynihan is genuinely unnerved by space-a theoretical physicist’s favorite music is prog rock, which seems about right-what a physicist reads… Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

Mar 5, 2026 • 1h 31min
Iran and the Fog of Regime Change (w/Hooman Majd) - #547
Hooman Majd comes from a family that reads like a parable about modern Iran: a grandfather who was an ayatollah, an uncle who worked for the Shah, and a folk-singing aunt. Everyone’s family has a version of this, right?-Iran is a tragedy-the sense of triumph has already faded-is Hooman happy the Supreme Leader was killed?-Trump’s motive: regime change, or only regime adjustment?-a ring of fire around Israel-hijab mandates, strict social rules, and the morality police using facial recognition-did the 1979 Islamic Revolution fail on its own terms?-MEK is a cult-is there room for a homegrown anti-regime revolution, or does war smother it?-who ends up in the IRGC?-the girls’ school bombing, and the propaganda machine-internet shutdowns, VPN life, and tweeting through a war-if you want to be an authoritarian, you cannot tolerate a free press-how to consume war info without getting played-outlets reporting on the new Ayatollah-sanctions: efficacy, blowback, and who they actually punish-Can Iran function like a normal state, and can it have workable relations with Israel?-Oct. 7 and Iran’s role-concerns about civil war-the mullah stereotype-“translating” for Mahmoud Ahmadinejad-death threats, anonymous phone calls, and “don’t ever come back”-defending against charges of being a regime apologistBuy Minister Without Portfolio: Memoir of a Reluctant Exile (Bookshop | Amazon)Prefer to watch & chat live with other members of the Fifdom? This episode premieres over on our YouTube channel at 12PM EST.The Fifth Column is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Follow The Fifth ColumnYouTube: @wethefifthInstagram: @we.the.fifthX: @wethefifthTikTok: @wethefifthFacebook: @thefifthcolumn Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

Mar 3, 2026 • 1h 32min
Iran and the Dee Snider Doctrine (Members Only #306)
-Matt takes off his glasses, Kmele panics-Moynihan is furious we started a war during his aggressive vomiting window-The Great Unwrapping of Liberated Iranian Women as the most convincing reason for war-Marco Rubio sells the rationale in Möbius-strip logic-the Dee Snider Doctrine-The Death of the War Powers Resolution-Is Rep. Anna Paulina Luna serious r… Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.


