Art Creativity & Wellbeing

If you are nervous about the sense of unrest in the air, about the upcoming contentious election, about the threats of violence from all quarters; if you're feeling a little powerless as to how to protect your home and family in the midst of the toxic vibes, you are going to LOVE this show. Beloved children's television host Fred Rogers famously said: "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." For more than fifteen years, my guest today has been one of those helpers – In her role as assistant secretary of the Department of Homeland Security, Juliette Kayyem figured out how every day people could help during the 2010 BP oil spill; she advised then-Governor Deval Patrick in her position as Massachusetts' first Homeland Security advisor. She's an expert in disaster preparation, she's been keeping people informed since before 9/11 as on-air security analyst for CNN. More recently she's started connecting home and family with homeland security through her podcast and best-selling book, Security Mom. We commiserate over breast versus bottle, drop a few S-bombs (because as in parenthood, when you are in homeland security, s**t happens), and Juliette reminds us "we've had bad presidents before, and we've lived through it." Click weturnedoutokay.com/110 for links and notes about this wonderful conversation with a true voice of reason, and to enjoy the show! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

How bad is the vague sense of fear, of atmospheric worry, in your life? Because if you feel it, you can bet that your child is getting those vibes from you (and now she's worrying, too.) It's very difficult to escape the news and mudslinging around this contentious election. That's what started me thinking about how to help you feel better during this time of year when it always seems to feel a bit more "serious" than just a few weeks ago – but this year seems amplified by an order of magnitude. So, here's the first of three parts of The Modern Parent's Guide to Living Through This Election! Click weturnedoutokay.com/109 to listen to this episode and to read more about the one thing – THE basic building block – around which we can start to knock back worry and anxiety in our lives, and therefore the lives of our kids. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

About episode 108: During my recent conversation with American Academy of Pediatrics president Dr. Benard Dreyer, about the key role that parents play in preventing their kids from getting something scary called toxic stress, different parenting styles came up. Today, in this Your Child Explained episode where we are always figuring out what's going on inside our kids heads, we take a closer look at the different parenting styles and what each looks like from our children's perspective. We also dig into the idea of grit, why it's important and how our kids can get it. Click weturnedoutokay.com/108 to read more about the three different parenting styles and the promotion of grit, view a great TED talk, and to listen to today's episode! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome! To listen to today's episode, school on down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular "play" button. About today's episode: With the school year starting, a contentious election giving the feeling of continual hate and negativity in the air, and reports of yet another thing for parents to be worried about – toxic stress in their young children – I knew we needed some voices of reason in our lives. This conversation marks the beginning of a series of interviews I'm offering this fall called Voices of Reason, where we hear from well-known and influential people with something to say that will make you feel better about the world you're raising your young children in. I hope this series helps you get through the next few months with less worry and more hope in your life! Today's guest is the head of an organization with many voices of reason… In all likelihood your child's pediatrician is among them, because the organization is the American Academy of Pediatrics, and today I have the privilege of bringing you my conversation with the AAP's president, Dr. Benard Dreyer. Over the summer I started to hear about this scary thing happening in younger and younger kids, called toxic stress. What I read chilled me to the bone: exposure to violence, deprivation, and neglect can affect kids' development in a lifelong way, both physically and mentally. In his capacity as President of the American Academy of Pediatrics, Dr. Dreyer is working to raise awareness of this condition, and to help parents combat it. But our conversation brings up much more than that. We discuss the holy grail of parenting styles – the authoritative, sometimes called wise, style – and the kind of traits authoritative parents exhibit; Dr. Dreyer answers your questions about toxic stress, how to get kids to eat healthy foods, and the problems of antibiotics resistance; and Dr. Dreyer gives his three most important things parents can do each and every day to raise happy, curious, and resilient children. Go to weturnedoutokay.com/107 to listen, for detailed notes about our conversation, learn about the AAP's campaign against virtual violence,and to find out how to contact Dr. Dreyer! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Do you worry that your child is getting too much homework for his or her young age? Do you stress out over the nightly fits as said homework is being accomplished? Then, you're going to love today's episode – it turns out that homework and young children do not mix, and this fall people are standing up and saying "I'm protecting my kid from the scourge of homework!" For key links and expanded show notes about how to join the revolution, click weturnedoutokay.com/106! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Today, Ninja Parenting Community member Sabrina Rizk – the very same Sabrina from Tuesday's guest interview #104 – gets help solving a problem that plagues many parents: when your child's first reaction to something negative is to scream. When I asked Sabrina what aspect of parenting she wanted our parent-coaching call to be about, she said "I want to talk about how to get my six-year-old to have different strategies beside screaming as her first response." Young Amy struggles when her cereal bowl isn't the color she wanted; when the Lucky Charms don't have enough charms; when Sabrina needs her to complete a chore before watching a show… I'm sure you know the deal and have struggled through this in your own home. I know I have! Listen in as Sabrina and I figure out how to alleviate the screaming – and read about some of the solutions we come up with – by going to weturnedoutokay.com/105! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

What if your child, while perfectly capable of speech, simply can't speak in certain situations, like at preschool, school or daycare? That's the situation that Sabrina Rizk and her husband, Anthony, found themselves with their now-nine-year-old daughter Hannah was entering preschool. My conversation with Sabrina starts off in another really cool direction: we get to talk about the round-the-world trip Sabrina, her husband, and their two daughters took during the 2015 academic year! Sabrina shares about the trip, how Hannah and younger sister Amy adapted to the traveling, and how Anthony got a six-month leave of absence from his software development job for the trip. Sabrina kept a blog – and is writing a book series for children – about their trip; visit weturnedoutokay.com/104 for podcast notes about selective mutism and traveling around the world, links to the book series and Sabrina's blog, and to listen! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

When our oldest, Max, started kindergarten, he morphed from the enthusiastic, curious, good-natured boy we had known since the day he was born, and into a truly anxious child with frequent night terrors; in first grade he even sustained the loss of 20% of his body weight and was diagnosed with migraine at age 6. Do you have an anxious kid, who's worried about starting preschool or kindergarten, or a higher grade? Have you been told all about the dangers of "summer slide," the idea that it's more important for kids to store facts from last year than to have a relaxed and enjoyable summer break? Today, with the learning year just getting underway, we dig into why autumn anxiety beats out summer slide – at least, in these earlier grades when our kids are very young – as what to concern ourselves with as parents. I share two ways to alleviate your child's autumn anxiety; click weturnedoutokay.com/103 to listen and read more about those two ways! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

In today's last Summer Camp episode, we talk about how to get kids the musical and sensory experiences they need – and why they need these experiences so much. My first job out of college, I worked in the infant room of a day care center with kids age about 6 months old to about 1-year-old. Each week, the center brought in a guitarist to sing and play to the babies, and I was absolutely amazed at how they responded: no matter where they were in our room, they crawled over to the guitarist, dancing in that bouncing-up-and-down way that babies have, grinning and laughing and trying to touch the guitarist in the guitar. It was amazing! That experience was my first taste of how very badly children need music in their lives. Then, as a preschool teacher and earning my master's degree in early childhood education I learned how important other sensory experiences are to help regulate the kid's mood, workout aggressions, and learn kinesthetically. Go to weturnedoutokay.com/102 to listen and for notes about how to get music and other sensory experiences into your child's life! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Maybe you've heard of studies showing that, the more facts you place in front of someone who disagrees with your position, the less likely they are to agree with you? Science Versus, a new podcast from the juggernaut Gimlet Media, takes an unusual approach to looking at the many things we humans can disagree on, and I love it. Host Wendy Zuckerman, with her delightful Australian accent and ability to be neutral on some pretty charged issues, investigates every aspect of each episode's subject. Today, our podcast field trip looks at a divisive issue among us parents: Attachment Parenting. Click weturnedoutokay.com/101 for key links to see how attachment parenting stacks up against science! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe