Art Creativity & Wellbeing

So, there's a tiny swear, the word bada**, in the break of today's episode… while I'm sharing about last week's hospitalization of one of my sons. (There is also an invitation to you, to join the Ninja Parenting Community at 50% off the standard annual rate! Click here for details : ) – A parenting book about showing up – A new action-adventure podcast for kids ages 8 to 12 – An awesome ninja tactic for handling your child backtalk and disrespect – A manifesto for parents by a beloved author What do these all have in common? They dive into the positive and important beliefs their creators have about raising kids – and being parents – in today's busy and frazzled world. Listen in to this week's episode for lots of parenting news that will help you formulate and live your beliefs! (Here is the link to this episode) Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos. Past editions have included how to make it so your child wins the parent lottery (even if you did not), and helping when your child is frightened. Useful stuff. Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome! To listen to today's episode, scroll down to the very bottom of this post and hit the triangular "play" button. Enjoy the show! Recently an NPC member brought up a hugely important issue, and it sparked a whole line of thinking for me that led us to this video! Here's the issue: "It would be interesting to hear some data/facts on how harmful NOT disciplining your kids can be. So many times we focus on the negative effects of discipline – spanking, timeouts, etc., but what's easy to forget is just how dangerous it is to take a backseat parenting your children." So let's have a parenting-style smackdown: Which is worse, Passive or Dictatorial Parenting? The winner is… Both! The worst parts of passive parenting – the lack of boundaries and having any expectations about our children's behavior – and the worst parts of authoritarian (which here I'm calling dictatorial or autocratic) – exerting control, simply for control's sake – both amount to a kind of neglect. The passive parenting amounts to neglect because it is terrifying for children to not have any boundaries or expectations for good behavior. The authoritarian parenting amounts to neglect because in this style, no thought is given to the child's experience, thinking, or ability to reason. What should we do instead? We should try to hit the middle of the spectrum. Somewhere between the extremes of Passive, and Authoritarian, lies Authoritative, also called Wise. It's the kind of parenting that will help you raise healthy and happy kids. "The children of psychologically Wise parents," Angela Duckworth writes in Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, fare better than children raised in any other kind of household." We dive into all that today! I hope it helps you garner the courage to make any necessary changes in your parenting style. Links and notes at: weturnedoutokay.com/318 Special thank you to the ninja parent who asked this question. I hope this helps Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter Each week I send out a couple parenting newsletters, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos. I just wrapped up a series on "Kids gone sideways," all about what to do when with meltdowns, disrespect, and potty training challenges… Useful stuff! Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week! Today's episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, who has created some great resources to help your child handle it when the going gets tough! Listen to today's show to find out how to get 15% off your order, and then Click copingskillsforkids.com/okay to check out Janine's Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Will you be my Valentine? I have a special gift exclusively for newsletter subscribers… Click here to read my most recent newsletter (all about Valentine's Day) and to subscribe! "Schools are way, way behind the times when it comes to what kids need today," one of today's guests, educational psychologist Dr. Rob Reiher, shares during our conversation. Rob and his podcast cohost, Wayne Yercha, teamed up because they saw a disparity not just in schools, but in children's entertainment. So they created two shows! Live Above the Noise is the "for parents" show about helping kids find, and listen to, their inner voice – and speaking personally, it's a show that survived my 2019 digital reset because they give real insight into how we can best raise our little kids. Their other show, Shieldstar Knights, debuts this week! It's an action-adventure show for kids ages 8 to 12, and differs from most other kids' entertainment by solving problems in other ways besides violence. (It's definitely geared towards kids between eight and 12, it would be pretty scary for younger children! Maybe listen, before you introduce it to your kids, just to be sure : ) We dig into both, and lots more, in this episode of We Turned Out Okay. Join us! Click weturnedoutokay.com/317 for everything we talk about in today's episode : ) Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter Each week I send out a couple parenting newsletters, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos. (This one is about enjoying Valentine's Day when you've got littles running around and includes the link to become a subscriber yourself.) I just wrapped up a series on "Kids gone sideways," so you can learn what to do when even the basics are a challenge! Useful stuff. Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week! Click here for the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group. And if you need some extra support for the tough parts of your parenting journey, join the private coaching community that I run! Click here to find out more, and to join. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

What we believe influences everything: our thoughts, our interactions, our relationships, and in the end our reality. But it can be really hard to nail down what we actually believe. In today's episode I take you into my beliefs, show you how I figured out what they are, and most importantly help you clarify your own. It's a master class in getting the reality that you want most – both as a parent and as a person. I hope you find this episode helpful! Click weturnedoutokay.com/316 for a cheat sheet on how to define your beliefs, and on the links that come up in today's episode. Also – Throughout February, in Instagram, I am posting my beliefs! Click Instagram.com/weturnedoutokay (or find @weturnedoutokay in the app) to see them! Thanks for listening! Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter Each week I send out a couple parenting newsletters, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos. (In today's episode I talk about the most recent newsletter, on the role kindness plays in improving my health, as I have lived with a tendon disorder for eight and half years.) We're doing a series right now on "Kids gone sideways," so you can learn what to do when even the basics are a challenge! Useful stuff. Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week! Today's episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, who has created some great resources to help your child handle it when the going gets tough! Listen to today's show to find out how to get 15% off your order, and then Click copingskillsforkids.com/okay to check out Janine's Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Hey friends! I'm excited to be a part of the launch of a new podcast, FAM – For All Moms. In this quickie bonus episode, you get to hear from Susan and Sharzad, the creators themselves, about their journeys to motherhood. (Click here for the trailer and additional information about FAM.) The podcast is available right now, so if you like what you hear, be sure to find FAM - For All Moms in your favorite podcatcher! Enjoy!! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

FYI: If you need support keeping your sanity while raising kiddos, try out my private coaching community (called the Ninja Parenting Community)! You can spend your whole first month in the community for just $1 -  but only when you join by Friday 1/31. Click here for details!) -------------------------------- Welcome to our first ever Parenting News Roundup! Over the month of January a theme has developed around here, with the interview and podcast episodes all relating to the idea of self worth. This month I wanted to focus on parenting news that also had to do with us parents, feeling worthy and in tune with ourselves. So, what does that have to do with boys, and medication for ADHD? You'll have to listen to find out : ) Click weturnedoutokay.com/315 for links to everything I talk about today, including the articles featured in today's Parenting News! I'm teaching a Free Online Parenting Class on successful potty training this coming Thursday, January 30! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/successful for details and to register. Ideas and Tools that Matter as You Raise Your Kids Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos. I've written newsletters on everything from remaining calm when they are throwing dirt at each other, to handling hangry meltdowns and what that has to do with our own self-worth. Useful stuff. Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

"My dad and stepmom are, simply put, selfish and controlling. They guilt me about not seeing my son more often, and usually want us to drive an hour out to their very not-kid-friendly house. How do I find a line of how often to see/talk to them that works for me and my kid?" So writes one of our most beloved ninja parents, known in the Ninja Parenting Community forums as Mama Llama. Maybe her feelings are familiar to you? In this episode, I outline 5 ways for you to get control of your relationship with your folks (or your in-laws) – on your terms. Join us! Cheat sheet of the five ways, plus key links and other good stuff, are located at: weturnedoutokay.com/314 PS This subject is covered far more deeply in the community that I run, NPC. During January 2020 you can spend your whole first month in the community for just $1! Click here for details.) Parenting News that Matters as You Raise Your Kids Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos. I've written newsletters on everything from remaining calm when they are throwing dirt at each other, to last week's, on handling hangry meltdowns and what that has to do with our own self-worth. Useful stuff. Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

My wellness coach is here for YOU today! "Linda," who's going incognito for our conversation, shares about so much: – Her own wellness journey – What it was like for her to raise a child with special needs – How to get what you want out of life Hope you enjoy this conversation and find it helpful! Here is the link to the show notes for this episode : ) PS One place where you can get help with your own challenges while raising little kids is the online community that I run, NPC. During January 2020 you can spend your whole first month in the community for just $1! Click here for details.) Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos. I've written newsletters on everything from remaining calm when they are throwing dirt at each other, to what to do when you feel like a failure. Useful stuff. Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week! Key Links Click here for the VIA Character Institute website. Linda and I have used their Character Strength Tool and talk about it in today's conversation. Click here for the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Happy New Year!! In 2019 I had two goals: 1. To fit into my ski pants 2. To be in control of my food intake If my ski pants fit, that meant I could go skiing and spend wonderful, exhilarating time with loved ones! And if I could be in control of my food intake, that meant I wouldn't inadvertently hijack other goals that I had about health and weight loss. Today I share about how I met those goals, through a 5-step process that I hope will be helpful as you work to achieve your goals! Links and other stuff I share in this episode are located at weturnedoutokay.com/312 Join us! Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos. We're doing a series right now on what to do when you feel like a failure, and who among us hasn't felt like that at some point? Useful stuff. Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week! Cheat sheet of the 5 steps to get what you want out of life: 1. Declare yourself worthy. This is a tough one! I do it with something that I call "mirror chats." 2. Decide what you want. This one feels deceptively easy, but sometimes it can take a while to figure out what we actually want. 3. Decide where you want to be with that goal… By a certain date. 4. Take one small step most days, or weeks. 5. Assess how it's going once a week. Also, as part of this, find something to celebrate each week. My One Word is: ENOUGH this was such a tough one, I had to choose between two words and the people in my email newsgroup were so helpful as I made my choice! If that was you, thank you so much! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Continuing in this end-of-year "big idea" line of thinking, one of our beloved Ninja Parenting Community members recently asked a huge, and great question: "How can I relax and enjoy our relationship more and not feel like I'm always on the edge of discipline mode or like I should have handled things differently [with my 3-year-old]?" Effectively she's asking: do I have to control my young child's behavior all the time, or is there anything else besides that? Today's episode is my response. Video, the notes I posted in NPC, and links to everything we talk about are located at weturnedoutokay.com/311 Join us! Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos. We're doing a series right now on what to do when you feel like a failure, and who among us hasn't felt like that at some point? Useful stuff. Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe