Typology

This week Ian continues the conversation with pastor, author, and leader at Church of the City, Darren Whitehead, as he discusses where he gets stuck as an Enneagram 3, why he learned to say no, and how he measures success through spiritual growth rather than statistics. About Darren Whitehead In 2013 with a small team, Darren and Brandy Whitehead founded Church of the City. They had a vision to plant a family of churches that live in the way of Jesus for the renewal of global cities. Every weekend more than 6000 people attend one of five church congregations across Nashville and New York City. Originally from Australia, Darren has lived in the United States for 20 years. He holds both Masters and Doctorate degrees in Ministry, with his dissertation focus on Millennials and the future of the Western church. He recently released his second book, Holy Roar: 7 Words That Will Change The Way You Worship, co-authored with worship leader Chris Tomlin. Darren lives with his wife, Brandy, and their three daughters in Nashville, Tennessee.

Enneagram Threes, when not self-aware, are plagued with comparison. They compare themselves to other people who seem to be more successful and feel some sense of shame about that. On the flip side, when they look at people who aren't as successful, they can feel a sense of pride. Because unhealthy Threes believe their value comes exclusively from their performance or achievements, they tend to push their accomplishments out in front of people to gain their love and admiration. But when Threes are self-aware they stop projecting an image to please the crowd and instead become more comfortable with their true-self. Healthy Threes make great role models who enjoy motivating others to become successful in their own right. This week we invited pastor, author, and leader at Church of the City, Darren Whitehead, to share how he channels his Enneagram Three gifts of relating to others into his own version of being a successful leader. About Darren Whitehead In 2013 with a small team, Darren and Brandy Whitehead founded Church of the City. They had a vision to plant a family of churches that live in the way of Jesus for the renewal of global cities. Every weekend more than 6000 people attend one of five church congregations across Nashville and New York City. Originally from Australia, Darren has lived in the United States for 20 years. He holds both Masters and Doctorate degrees in Ministry, with his dissertation focus on Millennials and the future of the Western church. He recently released his second book, Holy Roar: 7 Words That Will Change The Way You Worship, co-authored with worship leader Chris Tomlin. Darren lives with his wife, Brandy, and their three daughters in Nashville, Tennessee.

On this episode, Ian and Anthony drink WAY too much egg nog and start calling unsuspecting (former) friends to ask for the perfect gift for their type!

Not only is the Enneagram a great tool for gaining self-knowledge, but it is also a gateway for building strong relationships. When you understand that your way of seeing the world is not the only way to see the world, it creates room for compassion and appreciation toward others. The Enneagram teaches us how to communicate, and in turn, strengthens our relationships with family, friends, and co-workers. This week I invited husband and wife, David Dark (Enneagram 9) and Sarah Masen (Enneagram 6) to join me in a conversation about how the Enneagram has helped them identify the similarities and differences in their personalities and how that knowledge has shaped their marriage. With Enneagram Nines "optimistic to the point of denial" and Enneagram Sixes "realistic to the point of oblivion," Dark and Masen demonstrate how they try to live in a balanced way that fosters a supportive and secure relationship where they both feel valued. ABOUT DAVID: David Dark is the author of Life's Too Short To Pretend You're Not Religious, The Sacredness of Questioning Everything, Everyday Apocalypse: The Sacred Revealed in Radiohead, The Simpsons, and Other Pop Culture Icons and The Gospel According To America: A Meditation on a God-blessed, Christ-haunted Idea. His work has appeared in MTV News, Books & Culture, Pitchfork, and the Oxford American. Following years of teaching high school English, he received his doctorate in 2011 and now teaches at the Tennessee Prison for Women and Belmont University where he is assistant professor of Religion and the Arts in the College of Theology. ABOUT SARAH: Sarah Masen is an American singer-songwriter originally from the suburbs of Detroit, Michigan. For several years she has lived in Nashville, TN with her husband, author David Dark, and their three children. Originally signed to Charlie Peacock's "re:think" label, and subsequently to Word Records, she is now independent. Sarah's music has been described as pop alternative and is written from a background featuring influences as varied as Rich Mullins, Keith Green, 10,000 Maniacs, Over The Rhine, Victoria Williams and Julie Miller. Sarah's live performance has elements of the innocent approach of the last two artists, although most of her music comes from more of an intellectual background, discussing life, relationships and faith, in stark contrast with the angst-driven, dark and cynical approach you can find in a lot of the alternative music today.

Whether there's a three in your life or you are a three yourself, you're probably aware that threes are not naturally self-reflective. They tend to be externally focused rather than internally focused. The big message that threes receive growing up is that it's not okay to have your own feelings and identity, so they expend a lot of energy creating, projecting and maintaining a false image in order to be admired and accepted. Projecting this false image makes it very challenging for three's to answer the question, "Who am I behind the mask?" Let's face it, self-acceptance is difficult for all of us, but it is particularly difficult, for twos, threes and fours in the feeling space. So, I think a very important part of the journey for threes is reclaiming and integrating that splintered child that got thrown into the shadow large pieces of him that need to be owned again. This week, author/writer Jonathan Merritt joins me in a discussion about processing the pain behind the mask and pushing past the lies we tell ourselves in order to move closer to self-acceptance. A contributing writer for The Atlantic and a contributing editor for The Week, Jonathan Merritt is one of America's most prolific and trusted faith and culture writers. He has published more than 3,000 articles in outlets such as the New York Times, USA Today, National Journal, Christianity Today, Washington Post, and CNN.com and is the author of numerous critically acclaimed books including Jesus is Better Than You Imagined. Jonathan holds graduate degrees from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary and Emory University's Candler School of Theology. He resides in Brooklyn, NY.

Eights are motivated by a powerful need to be strong and, when unhealthy, can have a hard time lowering their guard in fear of appearing weak or vulnerable. Healthy Eights understand that there is strength and power in vulnerability. Yes, it takes courage to risk vulnerability. But if Eights want to love and be loved they will have to risk opening their heart and revealing their innermost feelings to a trusted few. Today, Ian welcomes young adults pastor, Chris Cruz, into a conversation about letting go of the pressure to be strong, choosing mercy over vengeance, and embracing the awkwardness of being vulnerable. About Chris Cruz: Chris Cruz is a husband, father, pastor, speaker and blogger. He serves on the leadership teams at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry and Tribe Young Adults at Bethel Redding. His role includes preaching, mentoring interns and pastoring students. Chris loves to see the church be a cultural influence for positive change in the world, and he lives to see heaven and earth become one. In his free time, Chris and his wife, Lana, love exploring and experiencing different cultures and cities. Chris is an avid creative, pursuing outlets that vary from graphic design to handmade leather goods. He also has a love for craft coffee and a slight fascination with raw denim. Chris Cruz is the Young Adults Pastor at Bethel. He's a passionate person, all the way from coffee to life with God. Chris loves teaching leaders and churches the way of Jesus and how it's leads to heaven overlapping with earth. He worked as a Pastor for seven years at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. Chris and his wife Lana live in Redding, CA with their son Solomon and daughter Pearl.

Last week, StoryBrand's Don Miller joined Ian to discuss the importance of directing your own story. Tune in today as the conversation turns toward understanding how each Enneagram type tends to lead and how that can impact the broader culture of a workplace. About Don Miller: Donald Miller is the CEO of StoryBrand, and every year he helps more than 3,000 business leaders clarify their brand message. He is the author of New York Times best-sellers: Blue Like Jazz, Scary Close, and A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, and the #1 Wall Street Journal best-seller, Building a StoryBrand. Don is considered one of the world's leading experts on the subject of story. His audiences are challenged to lean into their own story, creatively develop and execute the story of their team, and understand the story of their customers so they can serve them with passion. Don's thoughts on story have deeply influenced leaders and teams for Pantene, Chick-fil-A, Steelcase, Intel, Prime Lending, Zaxby's, and thousands more. Don lives in Nashville, Tennessee, with his wife, Betsy, and their chocolate lab, Lucy. For more about Donald Miller, check out his website at www.storybrand.com.

The Enneagram is not just meant to help people understand themselves and then do nothing about it. Rather it is a tool for fostering deep, inner work. In order to make lasting changes in your life, you need to know the story and themes that run beneath the surface. The Enneagram reveals what story you are programmed with and how a self-limiting narrative drives a lot of thoughts, actions, and behaviors. In today's episode, Don Miller and Ian Cron talk about the importance of directing your own story and ask "What story do you want to live? and "What story are you actually living?" About Don Miller Donald Miller is the CEO of StoryBrand, and every year he helps more than 3,000 business leaders clarify their brand message. He is the author of New York Times best-sellers: Blue Like Jazz, Scary Close, and A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, and the #1 Wall Street Journal best-seller, Building a StoryBrand. Don is considered one of the world's leading experts on the subject of story. His audiences are challenged to lean into their own story, creatively develop and execute the story of their team, and understand the story of their customers so they can serve them with passion. Don's thoughts on story have deeply influenced leaders and teams for Pantene, Chick-fil-A, Steelcase, Intel, Prime Lending, Zaxby's, and thousands more. Don lives in Nashville, Tennessee, with his wife, Betsy, and their chocolate lab, Lucy.

One of the gifts of the Enneagram -- the wisdom that we can gain from it -- is self-knowledge. No matter your Enneagram type, self-knowledge can help you dis-identify with those aspects of your personality that put you in an unhealthy place of habitual reactivity. And once you start to observe those unhealthy aspects, and dive into your work, you'll no longer be ruled by your personality. Our guest this week, John Mark McMillan, is a brilliant singer-songwriter, artist. He's a platinum-selling songwriter, and as an Enneagram Four, he joins Ian to discuss his deep connection to his feelings, touches on the Four's defense mechanism of introjection, and shares a checklist of ways he counteracts when he's feeling down. About John Mark McMillan John Mark McMillan is something of an anomaly: an artist and Platinum-selling songwriter bending genres and defying categorization by carving out his own unique and independent path. With an ear for melody and a poet's eye for metaphor, no topic has been off-limits. While each of his albums over the past decade have continued to explore new territory, it's McMillan's ability to give lyric and language to the human experience that many consider his greatest gift. McMillan, who has made a career of rejecting easy categorization and challenging expectations, co-founded the independent record label Lionhawk Records with his manager Josh Lujan Loveless in 2015. Mercury & Lightning was the third release from the label followed up in 2018 with The Mercury Sessions and The Lightning Sessions - alternative takes of the records with special guests including Joy Williams and Josh Garrels. McMillan recently remastered and re-released his beloved album The Medicine (10th Anniversary Deluxe Edition) available digitally and vinyl. His first-ever Christmas record Smile In The Mystery comes out Nov. 23.

Enneagram Threes, or The Achievers, see a world in which people only value others for what they can do versus for who they are. They tend to be driven, task-oriented, visionaries, goal crushers who want to avoid failure at all costs. Threes are very concerned with what other people think of them and are able to look in anybody's eyes and respond instinctively to whether or not they're being approved or disapproved of in the moment, and then tweaking or projecting a specific image to make sure they stay in approval. But sometimes Threes have a hard time settling in on their type because the underlying motivation doesn't seem to fit quite right. We've talked about subtypes and how they can make a type look and act in three different ways. But, another way we learn about people in their types is through, what are called, Hornevian groups, based on the work of Karen Horney, or stances. What they indicate for us is the social style of each type, or the direction we move in, in relationship to people. There are three styles: the assertive stance, the withdrawing stance, and the earning stance. In today's episode, Miles Adcox joins Ian to talk about each stance and how knowing your stance can help you find your type. Miles Adcox is an entrepreneur, speaker, host, and coach. He is the Owner and CEO of Onsite, an internationally-known emotional wellness lifestyle brand that delivers life-changing personal growth workshops, inspiring content, leadership retreats, and emotional treatment. He and Onsite have been featured on 20/20, Good Morning America, New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Dr. Phil Show, and The Doctors. He is the founder and co-host of The Unspoken Podcast, the owner of Onsite Music Publishing and founder of Inspire Productions. Miles has created and managed multiple mental health programs, personal growth workshops, and speaks nationally on mental health, emotional wellness and leadership. Miles has been a featured speaker and facilitator at various international events including Random House; O-The Oprah Magazine's Rising Strong Day with Dr. Brené Brown and TEDx. He has consulted major brands on organizational health and emotional wellness and is a communication, personal growth, and mental health consultant to the entertainment industry. He works with and consults several NGO's and serves on the board of The Onsite Foundation, C4, Dream 514, and is an advisory board member for Musicians on Call. Miles has currently been selected to take part in the Leadership Music class of 2019.