Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen

What goal are you pursuing in your life? Perhaps it’s to be healthier, or to save a relationship, or maybe it’s to break long standing bad habits. It might be to succeed in business, academics, or your spiritual life. Whatever it is, in this week’s episode, McKay gives insight into the most effective way to achieve your goal, and that’s by doing small, consistent actions over time.He kicks off by narrating the story of a 544 BC Chinese Grandmaster credited with being the author of the famous book The Art of War, which has been used by modern day leaders up to this day. McKay then cites his favorite quote from the book, “Plan for what is difficult while it is easy, and do what is great, while it is small”, and goes on to reveal how a small and quick apology early on can prevent a potentially large disagreement later. He also shares examples of how doing something small may not seem urgent today, but could lead to something great in the future or even prevent a disaster, and emphasizes the need for consistency in doing the small things for they have a cumulative effect and become more powerful. In essence, today, McKay reveals why the “go big or go home” mentality may not be the most effective, and in doing so, reminds us that what is simple to do is also simple not to do, so we need to be apt to take small, consistent actions to reach our goals.The Finer Details of This Episode:·  Stories and examples of the effects of doing or not something great when it’s still small.·  The law of attraction.·  How doing something small led to Stanford University.·  The fallacy of the “go big or go home” mentality.·  The principle of action-oriented momentum.·  How small things lead to great outcomes.·  Being apt to act.Quotes“In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.”“Plan for what is difficult while it is easy, and do what is great while it is small.”“Small things done consistently alter the trajectory of your life.”“It's easy to do something today rather than trying to make up lost ground tomorrow.”“Small is easy, small is fast, small doesn't take much time, and small is doable.”“Small choices are at the root of almost every result in life.”“A small thing that will lead to something great comes about just by doing the next right thing.”“While small may not be sexy, small moves are successful and sustainable.”“Small has a sister and her name is simple.”Show Links:Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen

Your Perfectly Imperfect Life“We all have perfect moments in life, and it's exceptionally healthy to seek to be our best in these moments.” In this week’s episode, McKay brings the truth of this quote to vivid life by opening our eyes to the illusion of perfection and spurring us on to seek optimalism and excellence instead.He begins by sharing the story of Yogi Berra, and then highlights the attractiveness about the world’s imperfection and points out that if the world were perfect, it would be less attractive. McKay assures us that it’s okay to allow ourselves to be imperfect and show our imperfections, and goes on to elucidate the effects of living with the unrealistic need for perfection. He also shares tools on how to deal with unfair criticism from others and practice forgiveness, and shows us that there is great benefit in failure and that we need to worry a lot less about what other people think about us. Overall, McKay encourages us to leave behind the title of perfectionist, adopt the title of optimalist, and end the unhealthy anxiety of being perfect.The Finer Details of This Episode:·   Stories of perfection, forgiveness, and failure·   The problem with the constant pursuit of perfection.·   How to deal with unfair criticism from others.·   Carol Dweck’s research about having a growth mindset.·   How to get past mistakes and deal productively with the emotion.·   The bliss in apologizing, admitting mistakes, committing to doing better, and approaching life humbly.·   The definition of an optimalist and an encouragement to be one.·   Good grace.Quotes“If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be.”“We seem to aspire to be perfect, but in the doing so we often struggle with the anxiety it creates”“We're all flawed in one way or another.”“Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.”“You can apply your energy in one of two directions, defending or learning, because the truth is, nothing is perfect”“How do you get better at forgiving? Remember the many times in life you've needed forgiveness.”“Just like a muscle is built back stronger after it's broken down through exercise, so we grow by attempting something and failing.”“Neurologically, our brains become more resilient to whatever failures and discomfort we experience regularly.”“It takes a great deal of character and strength to apologize quickly, but it also builds character when we apologize quickly.”“When we seek to redirect and right our wrongs immediately, we tend to build relationships no matter how big our mistakes.”“Time spent pursuing flawlessness is time squandered.”“No matter how slow I go, I'm still lapping everyone on the couch.”“Grace is an enabling power that will help you find those perfect moments in life.”Show Links:Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen

Loss of a loved one, sickness, financial hardship - all these and more have crushed and still crush people in the course of their lives. In this week’s episode, McKay employs his trademark combination of information, experience, stories, and inspiration to encourage us to rise against the tide and decide to start something good this day regardless of the circumstances. McKay breaks the ice by narrating how three-year-old Liz from a broken home changed her narrative. He goes on and stresses the importance of focusing on the positive possibilities and not the feelings of worry and anxiety in times of crisis.  He points out that bad things will always happen and encourages us to have the attitude and mentality of a victor regardless.  McKay further elaborates ways of escaping the victim mentality and the misery that comes with it, encourages us to stay true to ourselves in hard times and not to follow the herd, and also touches on social media, highlighting how harmful it can be. He concludes by motivating us to be optimistic and invites us to take time to list how we could make this time the start of something good. All in all, McKay spurs us on to strip off the worries, concern, and confusion, and stay attuned to the infinite possibilities that exist.The Finer Details of This Episode:·  The story of Liz as a three-year old in a broken home.·  The “What if” voice.·  The difference in mindset between a victim and a victor.·  An analogy between contrarian investing and remaining true to yourself.·  Acting independent of the herd.·  Anxiety as a thief of joy and positive change.·  The effect of social media on our mental health.·  Unsubscribing from negative thoughts of fear and worry.·  The effects of anxiety.·  Psychologist Andy Todd’s experiment on anxiety.·  Vietnam War Commander Jeremiah Denton’s story.·  The power of slowing down and taking pauses during speech.·  The effects of, and how to put on, optimism.Quotes:“Those with a victim mentality seem to wallow in negativity and tend to force it upon others in an attempt to find company in their misery.”“Worrying won't stop the bad stuff from happening; it just keeps you from enjoying the good.” “It's exactly during these anxiety-ridden times that we have a choice - to see ourselves as a victim or a victor.”“Someone with a victim mentality only sees the problems around them, and on the other hand, someone with a victor mentality will look within themselves to find solutions and carry on.”“You are meant to be a force for good even in confusing times.”“Action stops confusion.”“It's better to lose an eye than to let it infect the whole body. The same goes for some social media.”“Making this day the start of something good is an everyday mindset.”“You are happier when you're hopeful.”“Sometimes you have to get out of the way of yourself so that you can be yourself.”“You can always unfollow and unsubscribe from your negative thoughts and from fear and worry.”“To start something good doesn't mean that you have to do something new.”“Optimism is healthy, attractive, and contagious.”Show Links:Open Your Eyes with McKay ChristensenVietnam War Commander Jeremiah Denton

What does it mean to be compassionate? In this week’s episode, McKay employs his trademark combination of information, experience, stories, and inspiration to explore the topic of compassion and open our eyes to the success we can enjoy as we give our heart and build this all important practice into our lives. The episode begins with McKay’s illustrative stories of compassion and how compassion has brought families together under tragic circumstances. He discusses the effect of self-centeredness and the rewards that come with showing compassion, goes on to encourage us all to lose the transactional thinking and adopt the views of others, and to become a better listener as well. He also touts the benefits of picking up the habit of affirmation, showing empathy for others, and judging less. All of this brings to vivid life McKay’s overarching message here today - ‘you gotta have heart, and when you do, you have most everything’. The Finer Details of This Episode: -   Stories of compassion-   The effects of self-centeredness-   How does compassion open our eyes to a new way of living?-   The benefits of compassion-   Volunteering in orphanages in Ecuador-   Becoming a person of compassion-   The characteristics of a listener-   Are you living a transactional life?-   Cultivating the habit of affirmation-   Why you should give empathy to others-   The compassion of George Bush Quotes: “This is a call for compassion, to open your eyes, so to speak, to the life you can have as you give your heart and practice compassion. It will empower you with well-being you won't find any other way.” “We don't slow down long enough to let our heart be impacted by the lives of those around us.” “Compassionate people live longer and have healthier lives. Compassionate healthcare workers have less job burnout.” “Can you see that when you give your heart to other people, you become different?” “Something happens to your heart when you really listen.” “In any human relationship, we are constantly offering ourselves, our selfish thoughts, our wants, our needs, on an altar of sorts. And often what you get back is something far more valuable than what you give.” “Affirmative people are powerful people.” “This affirming life makes for a life of depth, and love, and beauty.” “By giving empathy, people and the world we interact with become more interesting, diverse, and dynamic. People become more than meets the eye. ” Show Links: Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen    

There is power to be found in clarity - knowing who you are, where you are, and the order of your life. On today’s episode, McKay teaches listeners all about the power of clarity as well as the benefits it can bring to help you live a purposeful life. The story of Molly Seidel and how she found clarity and pursued her goal with a clear vision despite facing different struggles opens up this episode. McKay then goes on to explain what disorder really is and why clarity in such areas as exercising and even in financial matters is needed for everyday living. He also shares the story of the success of the movie Titanic and the reason why the character Rose gained clarity. The episode comes to a close with McKay encouraging everyone to put order into your life, be clear about the role model you want to be, be clear about who you are, and then watch your life change for the better. The Finer Details of This Episode: -   Molly Seidel’s story of finding clarity-   What is disorder?-   An illustration of the power of clarity-   The benefits that exercising brings-   Lessons from Titanic’s Rose-   Why you need clarity to become a role model-   Ways to bring clarity in your financial life Quotes: “Clarity gives you the power to act decisively and deal with the storms and challenges that come your way in life.” “There is power - unexpected power - found in getting clarity, getting crystal clear about who you are, where you are, and the order of your life.” “We fall into drifting in our life, and the more we tolerate drifting, the more it becomes the norm.” “When we get clear, we get healthy. When we get clear, we get capable. When we get clear, we get happier.” “You can face the pain of discipline now or the pain of regret later. And discipline now gets easier the minute it becomes a regular part of your day.” “One good role model is worth a thousand teachers.” “When you get clear about roles and what you want to model, and you order your life to do so you'll be surprised by the remarkable things that will come about as a result.” “Clarity requires a goal, a plan, and even a budget. ” “If you're going to doubt anything, doubt your doubts.” “You need the clarity of the picture of the person you are becoming and this level of clarity allows you to be bold, to try with more courage, and to do and to attempt what you might not otherwise attempt.” Show Links: Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen

How do some people face their fears with clarity while others struggle with theirs day to day? Fear is real and normal but we all have to face our fears and overcome them. McKay shares with us today how to overcome our fears and become who we are meant to be. McKay opens the episode with the story of how Jay Jonas and Heather Penney faced their fears during the 9/11 attacks. He explains what fear is and how understanding your fear can help you overcome it, and discusses lessons from Alex Honnold who despite his reflection fear, solo climbed the El Capitan. McKay concludes by explaining how to put on your power perception and face that fear, to feed the wolf of faith, hope, and love, and watch your courage build – excellent advice for all of us to heed. The Finer Details of This Episode: -   9/11 attacks- How Jay Jonas and Heather Penney faced their fears-   Understanding fear-   Facing your fears-   What is reflection fear?-   Overcoming your fear- lessons from Alex Honnold-   How to put on your power perception-   Feeding the wolf inside of you Quotes: “Fear is an incredible thing. It can consume your thinking and your attention, your emotions, and leaves you paralyzed.” “If the first thing you do each morning is to eat a live frog, you can go through the day with the satisfaction, knowing it's the worst thing that will happen to you that day” “The only way through it is through it. So let's get started.” “Sometimes there is no shortcut. There's only what needs to be done.” “The time for facing your fears will never be right, and may never be better than today.” “You have the capability to move past your own thoughts, your own reflections, your imaginations, your worries, those self-made fears that tend to paralyze and kill your progress.” “When you look in the mirror, I hope you see your unique power.” “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we're too busy living our fears.” “The brain has to experience repeated exposure to a fear in order to get over it.” “Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” “Action today will make tomorrow worthwhile.” “Courage is being fearful but doing it anyway. ” Show Links: Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen 

There are two primary sources of unhappiness: living focused on the wrong things, and living in a way not in harmony with what matters most to you. Today, McKay opens our eyes to see why we need to discover what matters most to us and how to live in harmony with our values to live a happy and purposeful life. In this episode, McKay tells the story of the integrity possessed by Tony Finau, a man who valued honesty and decided to live with his values. He goes on to discuss the reasons why many are unhappy, the importance of deciding what matters most to you, and ways to identify your governing values. As McKay makes clear here today, when you become a light, and not a judge, and write down your governing values, you become set on your way to a happier and better life. The Finer Details of This Episode: -   Tony Finau’s integrity-   The sources of unhappiness in life-   Why you have to decide what matters most-   How to live in harmony with what matters most-   Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony- the pursuit of what matters-   How do you determine what matters most to you?-   Ways to identify your governing values-   Be a light, not a judge-   Living in harmony with your chosen values-   The power of planning your day Quotes: “To be happy and to pursue a purposeful life we have to decide what matters most and then seek to live in harmony with what matters.” “A deal is a deal. A handshake is a handshake. Integrity is integrity.” “It seems like selfishness, operating without common respect, and other such things, are the trades growing in our society.” “Be yourself, but be that perfectly.” “Our daily actions are in line with what matters most to us.”  “Our purpose in life is to become the best we can be, to become a person of noble actions and virtues.” “We only have one life on this earth. I mean, I haven't heard of anyone going around for a second try, and if we aren't doing what matters most, then what in fact are we doing?” “You must take responsibility for your belief window and remove the erroneous beliefs on that window.” Show Links: Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen

When life deals you a tough hand and tosses you about, how do you respond? Many times we get into a cycle of rinse and repeat that stops us from thinking productively. Today, McKay opens our eyes to see the dangers of thinking in patterns and how to cause ourselves to experience major mental shifts.McKay opens the episode with the tragedy that occured in 2004, the Sumatra Earthquake which left thousands dead, two of which were Edie Fassnidge’s mother and sister. He encourages us to strengthen our mental muscles by controlling thought patterns and developing a habit of productive thinking as opposed to a GPS mindset. He rounds off the episode with questions to ask yourself which can propel a mental shift that can transform your life.The Finer Details of This Episode:The 2004 Sumatra EarthquakeThe tragic tossing Edie Fassnidge experiencedThe need for mental strength to survive the turmoils of lifeStrengthening your mental musclesHow do you find and increase mental strength?How heavy is that glass of water you are holding?Ways to control your thought patternsThe danger of thinking in patternsWhat is the GPS mindset?The productive thinking of Edwin Herbert LandMental shifts that can change your lifeQuotes:“We all get tossed about by life from time to time, and it often comes in waves, sometimes too many waves”“We've all learned how to grow stronger physically. But when was the last time you sat through a course on mental strength?”“Mentally strong people use the right tools to strengthen their mental muscles and are equipped to better deal productively with life's events.”“All of us, regardless of our circumstances, must continue to master thought control in our life.”“Productive thoughts crowd out the negative.”“When we return to destructive patterns, we turn over our life, ourselves, our thinking, to them.”“We are trying to develop mentally strong students and children who can productively live stress-free in an environment of the unknown.”“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”“When we have an end goal, without all the answers, we get productive in our thinking. And in doing so we can replace negative thought patterns that can sabotage our life.”“Many of our negative thought patterns begin and sustain themselves because we are thinking about the impact on us, on our own needs or our own mood. ”“The reason you're suffering is you're so focused on yourself.”“Is my current thinking worthy thinking?”“When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person that walked in.”Show Links: Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen

What do you do when something does not go as planned? What’s the way forward? McKay provides the simple answer to this - pivot to what’s next. So many people get frustrated when things go wrong and forget that, as McKay demonstrates today, asking and doing what’s next is the path of happiness. He starts the episode with the story of Karen McWatters who lost her leg and a close friend in the Boston Marathon bombings. Despite the adversities Karen encountered, she asked herself ‘What next?’, and went on to find opportunities even in the face of despair. McKay then talks about the power of asking ‘What’s next?’, how it can propel us to move forward, and the importance of developing the habit of ‘What’s next?’, as well as ways to develop this habit. The episode rounds off with McKay drawing lessons from the life of Rachel Ray who went on to start a new path by focusing on what’s next. There is great power to be found in posing and answering this simple question - listen in today to hear how it can change your life. The Finer Details of This Episode: -   The devastating event that made  Karen McWatters go on her quest of ‘What’s next?’-   Finding what’s next in horrible circumstances-   The power of  ‘Yes, and?’ - lessons from improv-   Why you need to master the habit of ‘What’s next?’-   What is prospective psychology?-   How to think prospectively and why you should-   Harvard University’s study results on happiness in life-   Why the habit of ‘What’s next?’ is important for a happy life - the story of Bill Graham-   Ways to develop the habit of ‘What’s next?’-   Removing the ticks in your life-   Starting another path - lessons from Rachel Ray’s life Quotes: “Her attitude of ‘What's next?’ changed everything.” “’Yes’ is awareness and acceptance and appreciation. It means ‘I'm listening’…and is saying ‘What's next?’. It is fueling you with agency and autonomy and action, and is taking a clear step forward to add to whatever you've received.” “There's tremendous power in developing the habit of ‘What’s next?’” “Prospective psychology is the practice of creating an image in your mind of your possible future.” “The habit of ‘What's next?’ helps us to be happy.” “Over time, researchers observed it's not the bad things that happen to us that determine our happiness, but what we choose to do with those things that matter.” “Don't let yourself get dragged down into other people's complaints.” “Even though you might not like the situation you're in, you can choose to accept it, and once you learn to accept what it is and then focus on what you can control in the future, you win. Remember, the only thing that matters is your response.” “You can't change others, you can't change the past, you can only change your response.” Show Links: Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen

This week, McKay explores the power of positive affect with listeners. In recent times, unfortunately, there seems to be a lot of negativity and criticism, and seeing this, McKay today brings to us ways to create a positive affect in our lives and demonstrates why this is of utmost importance. The movie Field of Dreams was born out of the positive affect of Kevin Costner - it was his influence that got the movie produced. McKay advises us all to, like Costner, create a positive affect, and he then delves into how you can go about doing this, emphasizing the importance of words to create the world we want to see. He also looks at focusing on the positive because each day you decide to focus on the positive rather than the negative, you take a step further in creating a positive affect for your life. We can all have an impact in both our own lives and the lives of others by pushing back on the negativity and criticism so prevalent in society today, and McKay shows us all how to do just that in this highly instructive and inspiring episode. The Finer Details of This Episode: -   The story behind the movie, Field of Dreams-   The positive affect of Kevin Costner-   How do you create a positive affect?-   What is the constructionist principle?-   The immense power of words - lessons from the wise Rabbi Heschel-   Using positive words to create action- lessons from Officer Kevin Briggs-   How words impact your children-   The positive principle-   Focusing on the positive Quotes: “We can choose to see the best in others and circumstances - we can choose to see the potential rather than the negative - and when we see the best in others and things and circumstances, those things change, we create a positive affect.” “Words create worlds.” “Unfortunately, it seems that negativity, judgment, and criticism are creating a world of divisiveness and differences and delusion.” “We can use words to create a different and a better world.” “Choose the positive before the negative.” “Our words - the ones we speak, reread, hear - construct the light and reality of our life.” “Each day you and I have a choice in what words we use with those around us. We can be constructing something positive and appreciative or something else.” “Positive or appreciative thinking and mindset create a positive core to us and to any endeavor we're involved in.” “Each day, we have the choice to see things from a positive angle or not. ”  Show Links:Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen