

Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
Tony Santore
Why do some plants grow where they do? How can geology cause new plant species to evolve? Why are some plants pollinated by flies, some by bats, some by birds, and others by bees? How does a plant evolve to look like a rock? How can destroying lawns soothe the soul? This is a show about plants and plant habitat through the lens of natural selection and ecology, with a side of neurotic ranting, light humor, occasional profanity, & the perpetual search for the filthiest taqueria bathroom.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Mar 15, 2026 • 1h 52min
Drought Tolerant Rants
Ad-free episodes of The Crime pays but Botany doesn't podcast can be listened to on the Patreon at: https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

Mar 11, 2026 • 2h 12min
Botanizing California in a 2000 Honda Civic, with Jessie Dickson
All episodes of the Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't podcast are available - without obnoxious ads - on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/CrimepaysbutbotanydoesntA conversation about California Native Plants with Jessie Dickson aka "Sacramento Food Forest" (he has no interest in permaculture). Jessie Dickson is responsible for stoking interest in native plants and ecosystems in quite a few thousand people who might not otherwise have any interest in it. In this episode we talk about fighting the Coyote Creek solar project, California redwoods, getting zoomers into botany, sobriety, the California deserts and much more.

Mar 2, 2026 • 1h 47min
Missouri
All episodes of The Crime pays podcast are available ad free on the Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

Feb 19, 2026 • 2h 13min
Rainwater Harvesting & Plants-As-Infrastructure with Brad Lancaster
Brad Lancaster is a guerilla tree-planter and rainwater harvester in Tucson who has been instrumental in changing the way that the city he lives in treats rainwater and street trees. He has helped covince the city of Tucson to update its own infrastructure so as to absorb - rather than waste - rainwater by using things like curb-cuts, street-side infiltration basins and native plants. In this conversation, we learn how cities in hot, arid climates can update infrastructure and use native plants to reduce flooding, keep the landscape cooler and provide a better overall quality of life for the people that live in them. This conversation is full of hope. check out the abundance of resources and diagrams on Brad's website : www.harvestingrainwater.com and neighborhoodforesters.orgAd-free episodes of the crime pays podcast are available on the patreon at : www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesntBRAD'S WEBSITES:HarvestingRainwater.comCosechaDeAguaDeLluvia.comNeighborhoodForesters.orgBRAD LANCASTER'S YouTube CHANNEL:https://www.youtube.com/c/HarvestingRainwaterBRAD'S BOOKS (available at deep discount direct from him):https://www.harvestingrainwater.com/shop/RAIN GARDEN PLANTING ZONES - and how to figure out what to plant wherehttps://www.harvestingrainwater.com/resources/rain-garden-planting-zones/Urban Drool Harvesting in Los Angeleshttps://www.harvestingrainwater.com/2009/03/harvesting-urban-drool/Self-guided water tours in Tucson (in-person or virtual)https://www.harvestingrainwater.com/tour/Hydrologic redistribution of soil moisture by mesquites (there are better studies, but this is a start)https://eos.org/research-spotlights/how-mesquite-trees-gain-a-competitive-edge-in-arid-arizonaGuerilla plantinghttps://www.harvestingrainwater.com/2022/09/guerrilla-planting-of-rain-and-native-food-forests-vibrant-acts-of-hope-collaboration-and-letting-go/Before and after images of water-harvesting in our neighborhood streets:https://dunbarspringneighborhoodforesters.org/2022/09/before-and-after-photos-of-green-infrastructure-in-dunbar-spring-neighborhood/Eddy basins:https://www.harvestingrainwater.com/resource/backwater-or-eddy-basins/DIY curb cuts:https://www.harvestingrainwater.com/resource/do-it-yourself-curb-cut-guide/

Feb 16, 2026 • 1h 58min
Ecuador Rantzzzz
All episodes of The Crime pays podcast can be listened to ad-free on the patreon : www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Jan 28, 2026 • 1h 31min
Rants about the Texas Caper, Abuelitas Hating Nature, Asphalt Heat Islands, etc
Ad-free episodes of the CPBBD podcast can be heard at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesntIn this episode we talk about South Texas Development, remnant thorn forests surrounded by McMansions, the Asphalt Heat Island, the South Texas Caper (Quadrella incana, Caper Family - Capparaceae, Mustard Order - Brassicales), grannies that hate street trees Crime Pays fan appreciation, Fighting City Hall for native scapes, general societal ignorance regarding the living world, Jack faking his own death in order to eat more hot dogs and more.

Jan 20, 2026 • 1h 25min
Rants about Tree Planting, the Urban Heat Island, Etc
Ad-free episodes of the podcast can be enjoyed on the crime pays Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesntOpening song is about Jerry Falwell.

Dec 13, 2025 • 1h 17min
Estado de Hidalgo Rants
Rants about the plant life of the state of Hidalgo Mexico, including but not limited to Cephalocereus senilis, Fouquieria fasciculata, Fouquieria purpusii, Magnolia scheidiana, obsidian piles, and more. All episodes of The Crime Pace podcast are available for ad-free listening on the Patreon at : https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesntMexico Plants Checklist : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1a5GcJ39ysO_n2XbsazLZeyF9H1wDi4Zx/view?usp=drivesdkDiversidad Floristica Oaxaca : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-EXwZV3FOd5sahIE2wlnUmqN_JcLC4bB/view?usp=drivesdk

Dec 5, 2025 • 1h 12min
San Luis Potosí Rants
In this episode we rant about cacti that grow in ephemeral lagoons, 1500 year old Montezuma Cypresses, cryptic cacti that grow in salty mud basins, Mexican Jays dispersing weeping pinion pine seeds, a fern that grows out of marble, how the summer-wet/winter-dry habit affects some carnivorous plant forms, and more...Reminder that episodes of this podcast are available ad-free on the Crime Pays Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Nov 24, 2025 • 1h 38min
Climate Town with Rollie Williams
Ad-Free episodes of the Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't podcast are available on the Patreon atwww.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesntRollie Williams is host of the youtube series "Climate Town". In this episode, we talk about "supplying demand" Capitalism, the Oil Lobby, why certain interests are just so dang good at propaganda, how the CEOs became the heroes and the scientists became the bad guys, palm oil plantations, ethanol, government-sponsored cheese caves and more.


