Ask the Pastor with J.D. Greear

Show Notes: The answer to this question comes from the lips of Jesus, the most compassionate person ever to live. Marriage is a covenant you make with your spouse before God. God created it in Genesis 2 as a union where two literally become one, and death is the only thing that can dissolve that covenant (with a couple of death-related exceptions which we’ll talk about). So, is it ever OK to divorce? Jesus says in Matthew 19 that you can do it in the case of adultery. Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7, is going to expand that to say desertion by an unbeliever. Why are those exceptions? The logic is very important. In the case of both desertion/abandonment and adultery, they both kill the covenant. That’s why I called them “death-related” exceptions earlier. So, you say, what about the case of abuse? Or what if the spouse is involved in some illegal activity that they refuse to stop and it’s putting our family at risk? First, if you are in an abusive situation, you need to get yourself to a place of safety immediately. Talk to your church, let them help, or if you’re not feeling safe reach out to the Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE. Second, I would argue that the logic of Paul and Jesus’ exceptions applies also to divorce in the case of a spouse who is doing something that makes them unable to be lived with and puts the family in danger. Creating in abusive environment also kills the marriage covenant, and you are no longer bound to it. Lean not on your ability as a parent; lean on God’s grace as the hope for your child. As always, don’t forget to rate and review this podcast! Find Pastor J.D. on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Show Notes: We should be as intentional with our families as we are with our jobs. There is a sense that, on one level, I as a parent affect the faith journey of my kids. But on another level, there is a limit to the responsibility parents have for the choices our kids make. God has made them as individuals. A lot of godly parents will have a child who wanders. And it’s not because they did something wrong. Think about it: God was a perfect Father. And the only two humans he “fathered” directly (Adam and Eve) both rebelled. It wasn’t because of deficiencies in God’s parenting. There are decisions only our kids can make. Even under the best of circumstances, they can decide to pursue things that are contrary to what God would have for them. Pray for your kids. Speak truth to them. But ultimately, know that God wants us to lean into his grace. God cares more for our kids than we do and he can pursue our kids in ways that we can’t. Lean not on your ability as a parent; lean on God’s grace as the hope for your child. As always, don’t forget to rate and review this podcast! Find Pastor J.D. on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Pastor J.D. answers a question about what it really means to be a Christian. Show Notes: Everyone has a different assumption of what it means to be a Christian. In the Western world, a lot of people have the assumption that if you’re not a Jew, not a Muslim, and not an atheist, you must be a Christian. Some people think it means a certain amount of “religiosity”—a certain amount of church attendance, a desire to live by the Golden Rule, to do good to others, etc. The problem there is, “how much is enough?” At what point do you become good enough to be a Christian? There are two defining marks of a Christian to point out: First, a Christian is born again. To be born again means that you’ve come to a point where you recognize that your sin has separated you from God and there’s nothing you can do that would ever make you good enough to be accepted by God. Then Jesus, in your place, lived a life you were supposed to live, died a death you were condemned to die, and was then resurrected from the dead. He wants to take away the penalty of your sin by applying his death on the cross to your account and put the new life of his Spirit into you. Second, a Christian is a disciple of Jesus—which means you follow him, do what he did, live like he did, and obey his commandments. You devote your life to him. That’s what it means to make him Lord of your life. Jesus came to seek and save the lost, which means we should live our lives as disciple-making disciples. Find Pastor J.D. on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

This summer we are looking at some of the most popular Ask the Pastor episodes over the years. This week, Pastor J.D. answers the question of whether or not you can lose your salvation. Show Notes: At first glance, Hebrews 6 seems to say that not only can you lose your salvation, but once you do, you can never get it back! So what does it mean? This is important: I believe the writer of Hebrews is giving a general, pastoral warning to his congregation rather than attempting to delineate how the processes of regeneration, justification and eternal security work together. So, the warning here is a statement to believers and unbelievers alike about the importance of the gospel. Hopefully, it will rouse unbelievers out of their slumber. To the believer, we know that God will use it to keep his believers tethered closely to the gospel. Warnings like this one are one of God’s means of keeping believers awake to the gospel. If you persevere to the end, that proves you had the salvation you could never lose. If you don’t, it proves you never had that faith to begin with. As always, don’t forget to rate and review this podcast! Find Pastor J.D. on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

This summer we are looking at some of the most popular Ask the Pastor episodes over the years. This week, Pastor J.D. discusses Can a Christian Be Possessed by a Demon?. Show Notes: It depends on what you mean by “demon possessed.” It’s never used in the Greek language that I know of, and it’s not in the Bible. The word in the Bible is “demonized,” which actually broadens it a little bit. So, if you mean, “Can a demon so overtake a Christian so that they have no will left and no ability to choose right from wrong,” the answer is definitely no. But if you mean, can a demon influence us or afflict us, Scripture I think indicates yes. But their entry into our lives comes from listening to the lies Satan tells us. We’ve got to “talk back” to Satan’s lies with the truths of Scripture and the gospel. Want to ask J.D. a question? Head to our Ask Me Anything hub to submit your question! As always, don’t forget to rate and review this podcast! Find Pastor J.D. on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

This summer we are looking at some of the most popular Ask the Pastor episodes over the years. This week, Pastor J.D. discusses how to honor a toxic parent. A glimpse inside this episode: This brings us to one of the “big 10” — the 10 Commandments. There are a couple of things to understand starting with the 10 commandments are divided into two sections. The first four deal primarily with our relationship with God. The last five deal with our relationship to each other. Honoring your parents is the “hinge” in the middle, so which group does it belong to? Well, both. It’s the bridge between the two categories. When we’re young, our parents stand in for God. By submitting to our parents, we’re learning to submit to God. To “honor” your parents means to recognize parenthood as the temporary stand-in for God that it is, and you respect your parents accordingly. When you’re young, that means obeying them, and for your whole life it means respecting them. If your situation is abusive, you need to get yourself out. Call 800-799-SAFE, the domestic violence hotline. If your situation is not abusive, understand that you can respect the institution your parents represent even when you don’t represent them as individuals. When honoring your parents, you are honoring the God behind your parents whose authority is represented by them. Honoring your parents is really a means to honoring God. Lean not on your ability as a parent; lean on God’s grace as the hope for your child. Want to ask J.D. a question? Head to our Ask The Pastor hub to submit your question! As always, don’t forget to rate and review this podcast! Find Pastor J.D. on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

This summer we are looking at some of the most popular Ask the Pastor episodes over the years. To start, Pastor J.D. discusses what’s important to keep in mind when it comes to leaving a church and choosing one. A glimpse inside this episode: The no-commitment consumer culture is not appropriate for the church. Consumer culture works for some things. But not for church. Church is a family: The best parts of church come from that; it’s not a show. It is better to be really connected at a mediocre church than partially committed at the best one. I only have one life to live, and I want to invest it where I get the most return.  Hearing the Word. Community that makes you flourish Maximizing gifts: Don’t be a “Lone Ranger Christian,” the one faithful voice in a dead church. You’ll be much more effective working side-by-side with like-minded believers than you will trying to effect change on your own. This matters even more to me now as a father. I want my kids to grow up in a place where they will see and experience firsthand the best community of believers I can offer to them. Gospel-centered ministry is an absolute priority; the spiritual health of my family is too important to have them in a place without it. What are mistakes you’ve seen people make as they approach this decision?  Always thinking about your needs is a sign of immaturity. Paul tells the Ephesian believers to “grow up” (Eph 4:1-16), which he defines as learning to use your spiritual gift in the church, not being fed and having your needs met each week. It is infants and toddlers, not adults, whose primary concern in being fed and having their bottoms wiped by others. Ironically, some of the “seasoned” Christians who complain the most about “not getting anything out of their church” act more like toddlers than mature believers! The church is not about you. This is important for any church, because your church, no matter what it starts like, cannot remain perpetually “the hottest show in town.” Someone younger, cooler, and flashier is right now preparing the next best thing. So, we’ll have ups and downs, cold seasons and hot ones. Thinking you can turn it around. If you are not part of the lead pastoral team, you very likely will not be able to turn the ship around. Pray and wait. Waiting too long. You get the greatest return on relationships when you invest yourself in one place for many years. I’m not sure how to give you a “litmus test” for when to stay and when to leave. I have known people who felt called by God to stay in a dying place and believe God for its resurrection and actually saw that happen. I’ve known others who tried that and, because they were not in a place where they could really effect the change they desire, “wasted” some great years in a dying organization. I’ve known others who left a dying church and went on to serve God somewhere else, and were greatly blessed in the process. And I’ve known still others who abandoned ship when they should have stayed. If you think there’s a possibility of change, I’d say stay and make it happen. When you see that there is not, invest your life elsewhere. Be committed: There’s a difference in how the chicken and the pig contribute to your eggs and sausage breakfast. The chicken makes a contribution; the pig is committed. Be a pig.

Show Notes: Matt: J.D., as we’re recording gambling was just legalized in North Carolina this month, like it has been in 37 other states. That has us wondering – is gambling a sin? — J.D.: Some of our long-time listeners might remember us talking about this 2 years ago, but we thought given its popularity, we’d revisit it. So, look, the reality is that gambling is a HUGE deal right now, especially for young people. If you don’t understand, here are a few numbers: At least 20% of the American population has or does participate in sports betting. More than 30 percent of 18- to 34-year-olds nationwide do. The NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Association) conducted a study on college campuses just last year: • 58% of the respondents (college students) have participated in at least one sports betting activity, though the NCAA includes fantasy sports in its definition of sports betting. The NCAA examined what it determined risky behaviors, including betting a few times a week or daily; betting $50 or more on a typical bet, or losing more than $500 betting sports in a single day. The survey found that 16% of 18-22-year-olds had engaged in at least one of the risky behaviors. The National Council estimates 3 to 4 percent of the population, about 9 million Americans, experience “problem gambling.” And those that do have a 20 percent higher risk of suicide. So is it morally wrong to gamble? Gambling can seem harmless. You throw a little bit of money on a sporting event, on a slot machine, or on a lottery ticket… what’s the harm in that? I am going to draw distinction… Vegas type stuff and a $20 office pool The issue of gambling is not small in our society.  Gambling is at least a $44 billion dollar industry in the US – and that’s just the legal gambling, to say nothing of off-the-books gambling.In fact, as more and more states legalize gambling, it’s getting worse. Some studies say up to 10% (6-9%) of young adults experience problems related to gambling. But gambling has some big moral ramifications.  3 primary problems with it:  First, it goes against the work ethic in Scripture.  The Bible has a lot to say about honorable work. There’s always chance, but work creates value: win/win. Gambling by definition is win/lose. What about the stock market? It’s “risky,” you can win big or lose big. Parable of talents, win big and Jesus commended it. Yes, but even there you are adding value. There’s another kind of playing the stock market that is more speculative and more like gambling. Al Mohler says: “Gambling severs the dignity of work from the hope of financial gain, offering the hope of riches without labor, and reward without dignity.” Second, the gambling industry intentionally takes advantage of the poor.  Grudem: Every single study shows that the largest group of gamblers are those in the lowest financial brackets.It’s no accident that there are so many lottery ticket outlets in low-income areas.  One study I read shows that “problem gambling” – which we mentioned earlier – is twice as likely to be an issue for those in the lowest-income areas than it is anywhere else.  There’s a certain desperation to turn around their financial situation, and the gambling industry knows that and plays into it. Any honest politician will tell you that lotteries draw most of their money from the poor, seducing them out of their money on the chance of getting rich Third, gambling is addictive.  That little hit of dopamine from a gambling “win” leads your brain to want more… and more… and more. Just like with any other addiction. Studies show that “where gambling businesses are established, crime rates increase.” So… should you gamble at all? Honestly, you need to use your own personal judgment on this. I realize it may sound ultra-spiritual, but this is exactly the kind of issue where the Holy Spirit will guide us… what may feel totally right to one believer may feel morally wrong to another.  So walk in freedom, but also in wisdom and with love for others and their weaknesses, too. — Matt:  Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and be sure to check out YouTube and subscribe @J.D.Greear.  

Show Notes: Matt: J.D., some people feel like, because we have the Holy Spirit inside of us, we should never have some of these big, mental health struggles like depression or anxiety. The question is, can Christians be depressed? Or if someone is depressed, is that an indication that they’re not saved? — J.D.: Matt, that’s a heavy question. Let me start here: Lamentations 3:1-8, written by the prophet Jeremiah, one of the most well-known prophets in the Bible: I am the man who has seen affliction under the rod of his wrath; he has driven and brought me into darkness without any light; surely against me he turns his hand again and again the whole day long. He has made my flesh and my skin waste away; he has broken my bones; he has besieged and enveloped me with bitterness and tribulation; he has made me dwell in darkness like the dead of long ago … though I call and cry for help, he shuts out my prayer. No light. No hope. That’s how Jeremiah felt, and maybe you can relate. The “he” that Jeremiah is talking about is God. Maybe you’ve also felt like God is not listening—or, even more, you wonder, “God, are you behind this terrible circumstance? At the very least, you’re not doing anything to stop it.” Jeremiah goes on to say, “My soul is bereft of peace; I have forgotten what happiness is; so I say, ‘My endurance has perished; so has my hope from the Lord’ … My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me” (vs. 17–20). As you read those verses, you may think, “Is this the Bible? Shouldn’t an editor have weeded this out? This is Jeremiah, after all—the prophet of God! Jeremiah, this is not you at your best. Why don’t you take a nap and a shower and take another swing at this tomorrow?” See, it’s easy to think that what we need is more positive and encouraging psalms like David’s about the Lord being our Shepherd and still waters and cups running over and stuff like that. That’s what the people like. That’s what sells. But God put the book of Lamentations in the Bible, even though it’s depressing and most people will never memorize it, because he wants those of you who suffer in the darkness to know that he knows how you feel. And, like Jeremiah, it’s OK for you to express those emotions to God. One of our Summit church planters tells the story of when he first felt called to ministry, how he resigned from his job in Tennessee and moved his family to North Carolina to attend seminary, only to have everything fall apart. His marriage came within inches of destruction; he went into bankruptcy. Keep in mind, this is one of the smartest people I know, and yet it still got that bad. But the worst part, he said, was holding his newborn son as he died in their arms. He said, “I had no words. All I could ask God during that season was, ‘Why?’ I didn’t want to talk about God or preach the words of God. I only wanted to rage against God. All I’ve done is try to follow him, and this is how he treats me?” Many believers have gone through dark chapters and thought the same things as Jeremiah, but they’ve suppressed those emotions, telling themselves, “Real Christians don’t ever feel like this.” Matt, I’d say we agree on people like Jeremiah and Charles Spurgeon being Christians. And yet the prophet Jeremiah said his soul was depressed within him. Spurgeon told his congregation, “I have spent more days shut up in depression than probably anybody else here.” He was said by many to be the greatest preacher to ever live, and he frequently considered quitting the ministry because he was so depressed. Alright Matt, you’re doing well so far. Last one: Martin Luther, one of the most famous church leaders and theologians of all time. Real Christian? Well he went through times so dark that his wife would remove all the knives from their home. “For more than a week I was close to the gates of death and hell,” he wrote. “I trembled constantly. I could find no thoughts of Christ, only of desperation and blasphemy of God.” So to anyone asking this question, to anyone struggling with depression – and especially the thought that your depression is somehow an indicator that you’re not really saved – can’t you see you are not alone in your thoughts? The greatest Christians in history were not those that God delivered from all pain and misery but those he delivered through their pain and misery. He is ready to walk with you through the darkness and do the same for you. I also think it’s important to point out that depression operates along a continuum. On one end of the continuum is discouragement, which we all feel from time to time, and on other end is depression. Between the two sides of that continuum are a lot of different factors that come together—spiritual factors, physical/biological factors, psychological factors or even social/emotional factors.  Today we’ve been primarily talking about spiritual factors, but that doesn’t mean I think it’s the only contributor, or even always the primary contributor in depression. God made us a “psychosomatic unity,” which simply means it is impossible to separate, at least on earth, our souls and our bodies, and what happens in one inevitably affects the other.  Very simple example: You ever realize how unspiritual you get when you haven’t gotten enough sleep, or when you are hungry? I told you a couple of weeks ago, I can get really impatient and rude with people when I’m hangry. Now, in one sense, you could call that a spiritual problem, right? Nothing should justify my being rude. But the truth is, my rudeness—which is a soul problem—is being triggered and exacerbated by my physical condition. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t pray for more patience, just that I should probably also take a nap and eat a Snickers bar. It’s like 1 of my professors used to say, “Sometimes the best thing that you can do for your spiritual life is get a good night sleep.” (Now, to be clear, I’m not saying that what I experience when I’m hungry is the same as what you experience if you’re walking through depression or that it can be fixed as simply. I’m just making the point that there is a lot going on in any emotion, factors both spiritual and physical (and psychological and social!)  There is a long list of things that can cause depression (i.e., a persistent down mood and/or the inability to enjoy normal pleasures): a significant loss, failure, lack of purpose, unrealistic expectations, temperament, glandular malfunctions, chemical imbalances, certain diseases, response to some medications, change in seasons, fatigue, isolation, sin or idolatry, unbelief, foolishness, legalism… (the list could continue). To reduce the experience of anxiety or depression down to only one of these factors is simply irresponsible. That’s why, at our church, we not only preach on the spiritual aspects of anxiety and depression, but we also offer ministries that focus more holistically on these struggles. And we encourage people to incorporate medical care into their mental health plan. We’d be remiss not to offer some resources if you’re struggling: First of all, if you’re considering or have ever considered taking your own life, we’d plead with you to talk to someone about it. The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255, available 24/7. Second, I’d always recommend that you find a solid Christian counselor. If you’re not sure where to find one, call your local church (or if you don’t have one, A local, bible-believing church near you) and ask for recommendations. We’re also going to link in the show notes to a list of resources put together by Brad Hambrick, who’s not only Summit’s Pastor of Counseling but is also a nationally-respected voice on Christian counseling. — Matt:  Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and be sure to check out YouTube and subscribe @J.D.Greear.  

Show Notes: Matt: J.D., is cremation (as opposed to burial in a casket) wrong? — J.D.: Well, this one’s actually a little more interesting than you might think. If you’ve never thought much about it, you probably (like most people) just think about the fact that when someone dies, they basically have two options—burial in a casket or by cremation, where your ashes are put into an urn. Some people bury those urns, some keep them around… In fact, a 2020 study showed that 56 percent of people who died in America were cremated, which is more than double what that figure was 20 years prior. That’s a far cry from how things used to be, when in old England, burial by grave/casket was known as a “Christian burial” and cremation was something only the Vikings did. You might be surprised to learn that some Christians have strong views against cremation. I’ll lay out that view in just a second. But as we have this conversation, I want to make a few things clear up front because I realize many of you have very dear, important people in your lives that you’ve lost that you know have been cremated. So, am I saying that what they chose to do is morally wrong and against some biblical command? No, I am not. I see nowhere in Scripture that gives a clear edict that you must be buried in such a manner that your body is preserved. Am I saying—like some people claim—that cremation somehow interferes with the resurrection of the Saints when Jesus returns, ruining a Christians chances of eternal life because their earthly bodies weren’t handled properly after death? Of course not—that’s nonsense! Our bodies are important, but not nearly as important as our souls. And besides—do you really think resurrection after cremation would be “too hard” for God? Finally, I of course don’t believe that families who perhaps have to make a decision on how to bury someone and opt for cremation over burial love that deceased person any less than a family that chooses burial. So, if you have loved ones who have passed away and been cremated, you can rest easy and of course we mean no disrespect. But I do want to point out the other side of this conversation. John Piper is one of the most prominent voices on this.  He points out that the Bible teaches us the importance of our earthly bodies—that they’re not prisons for the soul like the ancient Greeks taught. “Christianity has always viewed the body as essential to full humanity so that the life to come has primarily been seen as the resurrection of the body in glorious eternal life.”  John Piper He argues that ​​Paul’s understanding of burial is that this was a picture of being “sown” in the ground like a seed that will sprout with wildly superior beauty at the resurrection, when the graves are opened at the coming of Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:37, 42-44 He also points out how fire always has a negative connotation to us as humans in Scripture – especially when talking about life-after-death, and so, to end your time on earth consumed by fire is a symbol that doesn’t align with Scripture’s portrayal of the believer’s afterlife. Now, while arguing all of this, John Piper also calls for churches and pastors to create a culture where expensive, extravagant funerals (and weddings!) are NOT the norm. There’s a recognition that burial by casket is more expensive than cremation. He even says he feels like churches should help families with these extra costs—not necessarily through a line-item in the church budget but by perhaps establishing an external fund fueled by generous donors. You say, “Ok, well, what he’s talking about is all symbolic and has no impact on where a person’s soul goes after they die.” Of course, like we’ve said, that’s all true.  But wherever you fall on this, I do think it deserves some consideration. Death is a big deal, just like other momentous occasions throughout our lives.  We take symbolism seriously at weddings, even though they don’t really have an impact on how good or bad the marriage will play out. Again, as a pastor, I don’t teach one as right and the other as sin… I think we’re dealing with issues of wisdom, and I’d just say that I do think it deserves careful consideration rather than flippantly choosing whatever is cheaper.  — Matt:  Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and be sure to check out YouTube and subscribe @J.D.Greear.